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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Warning Signs
Jenniferdawn 07:54 AM 04-10-2012
What are some of the warning signs you look out for during an interview or during the trial period with a new family?
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mom2many 08:00 AM 04-10-2012
A huge red flag for me is if they have had numerous daycares and the child is very young!
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SilverSabre25 08:03 AM 04-10-2012
Weird stories
Bashing past providers
Obsessing over some minute aspect of the contract (like exactly how they get to use their vacation)
Asking for special treatment
Treating me like an employee
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sharlan 08:05 AM 04-10-2012
For me, a lot of it is gut feeling. I just don't feel right after the interview.
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momofboys 08:15 AM 04-10-2012
Parents were so late for interview I assumed they were not coming (6:00 pm interview - arrived at 6:35 pm). They never called to let me know they were running late. Parents who had to "bounce" a baby of 7 month old repeatedly throughout interview to get her to calm down. I was also told this was how they got her to nap each day. Parents who inquire a LOT about if they have to pay for their sick days, asking about credits/sibling discounts, etc.
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cheerfuldom 08:20 AM 04-10-2012
People who immediately try to negotiate the contract. I have no problem clarifying my contract but i dont haggle

Kids that slap or get physical with parents and parents do nothing about it

Parents that have been through numerous daycares....what is worse is when they dont seem to know what went wrong. Either they are lying or utterly clueless, neither of which I want here.

Parents that comment on my home while clutching their baby and not letting them down. I had one parent complain that I didnt have enough pictures on the wall, didnt like the color of the walls, didnt like the furniture. another who started every sentence with "well we dont really want her at daycare but......"

Parents who bash previous providers for teeny tiny "offenses"

Parents who are mean to each other or their child

the list goes on but it is definitely a gut feeling too
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wdmmom 08:26 AM 04-10-2012
Red flags:

Late or significantly early for interview
How their child behaves during the interview and how they treat their child
Ask questions related to each policy
Bring up "What If" questions throughout the interview
Seem wishy/washy
Wants to add hours beyond the original arrival and departure time
Kid comes in with food or candy
Asks about discounts, negotiates price
Treats me like they are my boss
And number of daycares they've attended and reasons for leaving
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MarinaVanessa 08:31 AM 04-10-2012
When people call me for information, before I talk about the daycare I ask them general questions and then during the interview I ask them again but I want more detail. Sometimes I find that the info that they gave me on the phone is different than what they say during the interview. I don't like that. For example they may say that they need certain type of DC (full/part time) but then when they come in they say they need less or more hours than what they originally said. I also look for their reaction and reasons that they give when I ask them what has changed.

Being late to an interview, not calling, showing up unnanounced or really early etc.

Deffinetely lots of daycare providers in a short amount of time.

Leaving previous daycare with no notice.

Needing to start child care immediately ... as in the next day. Just seems in a general hurry to find a DC.

Saying no when asked if I can contact the last child care provider or not willing to give me the last child care providers information. If they say that family has been helping out I ask for their information and then call immediately after the interview. I had one mom tell me that grandma had been watching her 2yo and asked for her contact info and called as soon as she walked out my front door. I called Grandma and it turns out that Grandma had no idea what I was talking about. I told Grandma that I must have gotten my notes mixed up and Grandma mentioned the name of the DC provider. I sort of knew who she was so I looked her up and called her and it turns out that mommy dearest skipped out on her payments and had a hard time picking up on time.

Listen to the reasons why they say they are leaving their current DC. "They're not really flexible", "Their hours don't really work for me", "Their rules are really strict" etc all scream "I WANT SPECIAL" and "I HAVE A HARD TIME FOLLOWING THE POLICIES" so you'll want to get details.

Watch the parent's interaction with the child. Does mommy let the child jump on your furniture? Require to clean up any toys that the child played with while there? etc.

Haggling over price.

Asking if there's a buffer or grace period for late/early pickups.

I also make a bulleted list of my handbook and go over it briefly with them making sure to cover when payment is due, my illness policy, vacations and holidays a little more (later if we decide it's a good fit I go over the policies in depth before signing the contract). If you hit a snag and you can tell that a parent has an issue with or isn't entirely on board with a policy of yours you can almost bet that you'll have issues with it in the future.

Not asking a lot of questions about your program.
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Jenniferdawn 09:20 AM 04-10-2012
I'm asking cause I just interviewed a family and started them on a trial period. I'm new at the interview process and want to not take them on because I really "need" another child, kwim? I can only take an over two's right now and they are few and far between.

Some of the things that are red flags:

1. parents have just started the process of divorce. They were actually fighting in front of me during the interview about appropriate responses to their child's "issues".

2. The mom only spoon feeds her child. He will be three in July! (That being said, when he was here yesterday he ate just fine on his own, but they, at home, make him stay at the table until he has eaten all his food.)

3. They called at time of interview and said they were on a train ride and needed to come later. Then they were a half hour late to the adjusted time cause they couldn't find my house (which is very easy to find).

4. When they came to drop him off with first payment and paperwork, they were on time (Yay!) but the paperwork was only half filled out and they never brought the two changes of clothes I require.

5. On the phone with his wife at my house trying to get the medical info for the forms, dcd says to her, "Do I need to tell her about my genetic thing that (dcb) might have but hasn't been tested for that I have?". I can only imagine her response on the other line cause his response to her was, "I haven't told her anything! i just wanted to know if I should." And I never heard about any medical condition I might need to be aware of. ???

6. Dcm said her son really likes to be in control and she wants him to be in control so she will let him decide whether or not he wants to be at my daycare.

7. Dcm said her son got a scratch at another daycare and she admitted she went ballistic on them because they didn't know where he got the scratch from. She admitted that she knows she is over protective of him and is trying to be better.

8. He has always had a private nanny before coming to daycare, which makes me wonder if they will expect too much.


All that being said, here's the positives:

1. The little boy is super cute. When he was here, he was no problem at all. he was a very normal two year old boy and my kids liked him. He was an excellent listener.

2. He is already potty trained.

2. The mom (for now) ADORES me. I run a green, organic daycare and she is into all that so she is thrilled to find me and excited that I don't allow tv viewing.

3. She is paying full price. There was no arguing about the cost at all and even said she will do direct deposit in advance every two weeks so that I'm guaranteed the funds.

What are your thoughts?

(I think I already know them...)
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MizzCheryl 09:21 AM 04-10-2012
Don't forget to trust your gut feelings too.
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Jenniferdawn 09:24 AM 04-10-2012
Oh, I also caved and said I'd stay open to 5:30 for them when I really want to be done at 5. Still trying to grow my back bone.
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Jenniferdawn 09:26 AM 04-10-2012
The problem with trusting my gut is I'm a "see the positive in every person" kind of thinker, so I have a hard time feeling the gut part apart from that. plus i see my daycare as a ministry to families too, so in some ways, I'm attracted to the families who are going through a tough time. This poor kids really needs some good stability in his life right now.
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Ariana 09:32 AM 04-10-2012
I would run away from this family if it were me. I have my own "redflags" but I'm still learning so others have given great advice already. My instinct about this family is that they are run by a total control freak aka MOM! Unless you get the upper hand early (which you may have already failed to do) it will be annoying and stressful dealing with her. I had a control freak dad who was trying to exert his control over me. I did let some things slide but others I was very firm with.

I can tell you when your gut is telling you something....you wrote this post. That is your gut screaming "SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT AND I NEED REASSURANCE"
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MarinaVanessa 09:37 AM 04-10-2012
Originally Posted by Jenniferdawn:
Oh, I also caved and said I'd stay open to 5:30 for them when I really want to be done at 5. Still trying to grow my back bone.
If you don't mind doing that's fine but I hope you charged a premium fee for this extra half hour. Anytime that I don't mind taking on a child after my DC hours (or before) I add a higher price tag for that which isn't much more but at $5 an hour (or part) thats almost $2 more an hour than I charge my FT clients. Others that I know charge time and a half or double. Just keep that in mind for next time .

As for the trial period thing ... well more than likely they won't start feeling comfortable enough to push the limits until a month or so but the good thing is that you can always give them their 2 weeks notice if it doesn't mesh well.
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SimpleMom 10:57 AM 04-10-2012
For me it sort of came with time and experience. After awile you just sort of get the "feeling" if it's a good fit or not by experiencing many different types of interviews, playing around with what you want and don't want in or at your program, etc.

So, for example, I really know if I want a family if the parents are really kind, smile a lot, have a stable job, are really good to their kids and aren't afraid to tell them "no" (play houses are for playing in not climbing, gentle with the dog, walk when inside). When thier kids can run crazy here at interview then I have learned it's not a good fit for my care. It's just never ended well or went well.

Hope that helps a bit.
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SimpleMom 11:04 AM 04-10-2012
Originally Posted by Jenniferdawn:
The problem with trusting my gut is I'm a "see the positive in every person" kind of thinker, so I have a hard time feeling the gut part apart from that. plus i see my daycare as a ministry to families too, so in some ways, I'm attracted to the families who are going through a tough time. This poor kids really needs some good stability in his life right now.
I am the same way It works better for me to only take in one "tough" one at a time. I am only one person and all of my group needs me. I've learned it's ok to say no cuz if you don't you may find that one of your other kiddos gets hurt or you get completely exhausted. IMHO

I had one interview with wonderful family and loved the kids. They were honest and let me know the one child had some issues. I contemplated it and in the end both the family and I felt the child would be better fit in a Center where they would have more teacher's on-hand and more on-the-go activities to help keep behaviors at bay. I was still ministering to the family and child by being honest and finding a better alternative. I could have taken the child in , but most of my kids would have been neglected if I did--or that child would have. kwim?

That's just my experience to share though
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:07 AM 04-10-2012
After reading your post, I think you should run far, far away.
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Lilbutterflie 11:50 AM 04-10-2012
I can foresee LOTS of potential issues coming up with this family:

1-Divorce can cause so many issues. Parents bickering, lack of communication b/w both of them, problems with the child acting out, pickup/dropoff miscommunications, payment miscommunications, etc... That's not to say that it can't work though. You can sit them both down, have a meeting, and tell them what you expect from them. NO bickering in your house. NO bad mouthing the other in your house. ONE of them is responsible for paying, not both. You will need CLEAR and PREPLANNED schedules from them outlining who will be picking up/dropping off and when. It could work, you just need to lay down the law in the beginning.

2-Mom is overprotective. Give her updates on how well he eats independently at your house and how independently he plays and enjoys himself. If he gets hurt, write an incident report each and every time. You will need it. Keep her informed, and I think she will be happy.

3-You might just end up with a special needs child at some point (given the phone conversation you overheard b/w the parents). My gut says it's a behavior disorder (hence dcm said he likes to be in control and she allows him to be); but I could be wrong.

4-Private nanny background- they often will consider you their employee and try to control you and your daycare. As long as you have made it clear that it is your daycare and you run it according to your own policies; I think it will be fine. You will need to use your backbone with this family.

All that said, the boy is great and it just might work out. If you have concerns before the trial is up, suggest a meeting and talk about your concerns with them honestly. You might be surprised at how much mom wants this to work and how much she is willing to do to make it work.

I have a dcb (now 17 months) whose mom raised all kinds of red flags with me during the interview and even in the first few weeks. I stuck it out, and a year later he has turned out to be one of the sweetest, most wonderful little daycare boys I've had. And his mom has turned out to be the absolute best daycare parent I have had to date!
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Jenniferdawn 12:59 PM 04-10-2012
Thanks for all the advise. Backbone will be necessary for sure with this family. I'm growing in that area. I'm going to see how these next two weeks go and then we will talk. Dcb is going to stay with his grandma for three weeks after that (I think they are doing court stuff, moving houses etc) so I will have a good chunk of time to think things through.
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3girls 01:55 PM 04-10-2012
I've had one interview I was glad to see the end of. This dad came in boasting about his great job and how well his restaurant was doing and how he also did all the childrearing cause mom didn't do much parenting (...totally got the controlling abuser vibe from this guy) wanted a rotating schedule for his infant and toddler depending on his schedule for the week that he would let me know the week before and sometimes it would just be an hour here n there but wanted me to be available every day if needed AND HIS LAST DAYCARE ONLY CHARGED HIM $350 A MONTH!!! lol
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MizzCheryl 04:40 PM 04-10-2012
You gotta trust your gut!
I interviewed a couple last year. They stayed an hour and a half. It was 8pm when they left. OMG!!!
I was so stired I thought geez those people were weird!
Then my husband came in and said GEEZ those people were weird.
Dad was all boastfull and bossy. Mom was sweet but dad was weird.
Needless to say I called them to tell them I would not be taking their child. I left them a nice message and told them they could call me back but at this time I would not be able to take their child. They went to several provders around and interviewed. They were weird!
SO Glad I didn't take them. They even called me back about 2 months later when their current provider dumped (the one the downed the whole interview with me) them and wanted to know why I didn't like them.
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Lucy 08:26 PM 04-10-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Weird stories
Bashing past providers
Obsessing over some minute aspect of the contract (like exactly how they get to use their vacation)
Asking for special treatment
Treating me like an employee
I can attest to the first two being true. I had a mom of 2 kids come for an interview and made the past provider sound awful. She mentioned the provider's first name, and it was unique, so I remembered it. I then when to a training and lo and behold, sat next to a provider with that same name from my town. Yes, it was her, and I heard the REAL story!! Everything the other provider said about this family turned out to be true. They were one of my worst families in 18 years.
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texascare 06:09 AM 04-11-2012
Parents who are late to the interview
Ones who try to tell me how to do my job.
If they ask you up front "do you have insurance?"
ones that ask you for a lower rate or try to negotiate my rate
number of daycares or providers they have had in the past
If they seem real picky
After 22 years I get the gut feeling from the phone interview. If I do decide to interview then face to face an dI am undomfortable then it is a no go!
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SilverSabre25 06:21 AM 04-11-2012
Trial period warning signs:
Bringing child sick
Needing repeated reminders of the policies they just signed
No call/No show
Bringing child in late/picking up late


Oh! Another interview warning:
Having an issue with one of your core policies (sick, payment rules/amount, vacation, etc), but signing with you anyway. Watch for them to leave as soon as they find new care
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MrsB 06:21 AM 04-11-2012
A red flag for me would be an exchange like this...

Me - So what are each of your work hours

Mom - 8-430
Dad - 7-400

Me - And what kind of daycare times are you looking for

Mom - Uhhhh well, I, uhhh, sometimes I have to work late or go in early, but uhh your hours are 6-6 right?

I always ask work hours first and then ask hours they need for care. Catches the "u keep my kids as long as possible" type parents right off the bat.

2nd red flag - I pick up my child at their other provider and she is always looking a hot mess, like she doesnt keep her hair nice, her shoes are always dirty, and she has stains on her pretty dresses. Uhhh this is not the daycare for you!

3rd - They have not thought about a back up, if I am sick, their child is sick, or they can't make it here on time. I always ask if they have friends or family that they are close with that they can use as backup in case of an emergency. I am more concerned about the families that haven't even thought about it more than the ones that flat out answer, We have no one we are not from this area. (Alot of military families)
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Ariana 09:19 AM 04-11-2012
One huge red flad for me as well is when there is a discrepancy between an e-mail and what they say in person. I had a mom come to he interview telling me her crazy hours and how sometimes she'll need me until late and sometimes not etc. In her e-mail she failed to mention any of this. Then when I began telling her I don't think this was what I was looking for she began trying to get me to take her older son. She talked non-stop. very hard to get a word in. Didn't ask me any questions really, just wanted to tell me what she wanted me to do. ummm nope, not gonna happen
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Tags:interview, red flag, trial period
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