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Old 05-16-2012, 12:26 PM
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Default She's The Easy One???

SO I have a dcf that has their daughter enrolled here at my DC. They have a younger son that will start in the fall with me.

Well I have a hard time with the daughter that is enrolled now. She is way behind where she should be developmentally. She is 3.5 and cannot and will not listen at all. I cannot even trust her to go to the bathroom alone for 2 seconds. I have gotten to the point in the past that I had considered terming, but the mom and I were able to work on it together to move forward.

Yesterday when DCM was picking up, I told her that her DCG did not have a very good day and then proceeded to tell her what happened. The mom replies well if you think that is bad, just wait until my son gets here. She is the easy one, he's the difficult one. I wanted to say What The...............are you kidding me....He is worse than her?? NOW I am sitting here thinking that maybe I should let this family go now....

How would you take this and what would you do? Should I just ignore it?
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:30 PM
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I've learned that their parent's definition of who is who in their family isn't always how it is here.

My "GREAT" napper sibling is the most difficult to get asleep in the entire place. His "DIFFICULT" to nap sister puts herself to sleep as soon as I say, "Please get your blankets from your cubbies!"
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:30 PM
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Ask her to send her son on a trial, that way you will have an idea what you in for. hope this helps
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:33 PM
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Default Yikes!

I agree that often the kids are nothing like what parents say however, I would consider taking this kid a few times this summer just to see. I would say you want him to get used to the group, take him once a week or so until Fall. That should give you enough time to know the truth, and find a new family if that is what you decide to do.
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:40 PM
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sharlan sharlan is offline
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I've found that kids rarely behave the same way for us that they do their parents.

I have an absolutely perfect 3 yo. I could have 10 of him and never have to do a thing beside make their meals. (I could actually sit on the sofa, watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day.) He's always happy and content, unless he's sick. He entertains himself, plays well by himself or with others. He eats whatever I place on the table with no complaints.

I've heard from Mom and Grandma that he's always into something or in trouble at home.
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LCLC View Post
I've learned that their parent's definition of who is who in their family isn't always how it is here.

My "GREAT" napper sibling is the most difficult to get asleep in the entire place. His "DIFFICULT" to nap sister puts herself to sleep as soon as I say, "Please get your blankets from your cubbies!"
very true.... I often try not to judge the kids based off of how they act towards their parents and when the parents are around....I am sure we can all agree that children act differently for their parents than they do for us.

I am just worried that I have already taken their deposit, and then her words are going to come true....Then I will have to find two kids instead of one....

I am just feeling a lot of doubt now...
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sharlan View Post
I've found that kids rarely behave the same way for us that they do their parents.

I have an absolutely perfect 3 yo. I could have 10 of him and never have to do a thing beside make their meals. (I could actually sit on the sofa, watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day.) He's always happy and content, unless he's sick. He entertains himself, plays well by himself or with others. He eats whatever I place on the table with no complaints.

I've heard from Mom and Grandma that he's always into something or in trouble at home.
true, but if the first one that is here is not exactly an angle and then the mom is telling me well the other one is worse, that really scares me........

I think that maybe a trail over the summer would be a good idea...
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:45 PM
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I used to care for a family of three.

Child #1 was
according to mom/dad: the BEST child she has, easier, best listener and over all just the easiet most well behavied child EVER!
according to me: absolutely the hardest child I have ever worked with. I changed more rules and made more policies because of this child then I had ever made in my first 10 years of being a provider. Child required 100% constant supervision for literally ever second they were in care from age 2 until age 8.

Child #2 was
according to mom/dad: a bad seed. They went so far as to even give the child a really unfavorable nickname which they used when refering to the child and used it in front the child. Worst sleeper ever and basically overall bad attitude, stubborn and unwilling to comply with any and all rules at home
according to me: By far my most favorite daycare child ever!!!! To this day, I miss this child a ton...and that is saying alot as I am not one to be overly attatched to any of my DCK's but this one was a keeper all the way! Made my day worth it every single day!

Child #3 was
according to mom/dad: drama drama dram!! Tantruming mess at almost ALL times and never ever willing to listen or behave without expecting something in return
according to me: easy child with a wonderful disposition. Sometimes passed on treats or rewards and always super helpful and caring to all the other daycare kids. Never cried while in care and was basically one of the best eaters/nappers I ever had.

Point being 3 out of 3 kids in this family were 100% opposite for me compared to the parents descriptions. I think this kind of thing has more to do with environment and expectations of the caregiver (parents included). I also think it had a lot to do with temperament and personality matches like previously discussed in another thread. So just because DCM SAYS the upcoming child is bad, doesn't mean he will be for you!
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:46 PM
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A 2 to 4 week trial period is best. Enroll him and see what happens. If it's a nightmare, start advertising on Day 2 and hope you can get some new clients in by the time you term.
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Old 05-16-2012, 01:10 PM
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i have one like this, parents always complaining how awful dcg is and that she is bad, and the brother is the good one. Ha! dcg is so good, is my helper, plays the best with the kids, the brother had to be seperated from the other kids on the bus because he caused so much trouble and has been written up and the teacher has sent home numerous notes, ya and he's the good one!
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