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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Neglect? WWYD?
Unregistered 06:29 AM 04-29-2014
I've signed out for this one to protect myself. Anyway.. I have a daycare mom that I asked if she uses powder or any sort of diaper rash cream on him. She responded with "never." He's ALWAYS got a rash. I can clear it up through out the day, and the next day, he has it again. If it's really bad, it can take all week to clear up, be fine on Friday, and when the kid returns the rash has returned, sometimes worse than before.
I DO use powder and rash cream on him. I can't leave the rash as is without trying to help it. Well, I've had the child come back each day with remnants of the powder and cream on him, proving that she isn't wiping him or bathing him. I've even had him go like that for 2-3 days without him being here and him return with powder or rash cream remnants.
The child suffers from a lot of developmental delay. He's a little over 2 and says nothing. His behavior is pretty bad. He throws food on the floor, throws temper tantrums and busts his head on the floor when he does it.
Mom has no clue what foods he likes (I've asked) and from my understanding from big sister, he eats a lot of fast food and junk food.
I'm pretty sure that the child is being neglected for the most part. There are days that if I sit with him and teach him things, he'll repeat them and try to do it - kind of showing me that DCM never does any of this stuff with him. He's a smart child but I really think that he missed his "window of opportunity" on a lot of stuff.
I don't know what to do at this point.. What would you do?
I DO use powder and rash cream on him. I can't leave the rash as is without trying to help it. Well, I've had the child come back each day with remnants of the powder and cream on him, proving that she isn't wiping him or bathing him. I've even had him go like that for 2-3 days without him being here and him return with powder or rash cream remnants.
The child suffers from a lot of developmental delay. He's a little over 2 and says nothing. His behavior is pretty bad. He throws food on the floor, throws temper tantrums and busts his head on the floor when he does it.
Mom has no clue what foods he likes (I've asked) and from my understanding from big sister, he eats a lot of fast food and junk food.
I'm pretty sure that the child is being neglected for the most part. There are days that if I sit with him and teach him things, he'll repeat them and try to do it - kind of showing me that DCM never does any of this stuff with him. He's a smart child but I really think that he missed his "window of opportunity" on a lot of stuff.
I don't know what to do at this point.. What would you do?
NoMoreJuice! 06:36 AM 04-29-2014
I struggled with this same scenario so badly at one time...two year old dcb that was so far behind, showed up smelling like smoke, and ate nothing but junk. When I asked my surveyor if that was something I was mandated to report, she said that it wasn't technically neglect, it was the right of the parent to make choices like that.
The diaper rash, however, if it is causing the child discomfort, I would consider neglect. You are not required to report abuse or neglect, only suspicion...and I think this falls under that category. I would call and report, simply because it covers your behind.
The diaper rash, however, if it is causing the child discomfort, I would consider neglect. You are not required to report abuse or neglect, only suspicion...and I think this falls under that category. I would call and report, simply because it covers your behind.
jenn 06:45 AM 04-29-2014
To me, there is a fine line between poor parenting and neglect.
The junk food/fast food is poor parenting in my opinion, but I don't think it would be considered neglectful as long as he is getting food.
Are the diaper rashes serious enough to need medical attention? I was told that cleanliness, rashes,...are only considered neglect if they are causing enough issue to need medical treatment. Otherwise, they are considered poor parenting.
In my state, we are required to report suspected abuse and/or neglect. If you suspect there is neglect, you should report it. Better safe than sorry.
The junk food/fast food is poor parenting in my opinion, but I don't think it would be considered neglectful as long as he is getting food.
Are the diaper rashes serious enough to need medical attention? I was told that cleanliness, rashes,...are only considered neglect if they are causing enough issue to need medical treatment. Otherwise, they are considered poor parenting.
In my state, we are required to report suspected abuse and/or neglect. If you suspect there is neglect, you should report it. Better safe than sorry.
Mom o Col 06:52 AM 04-29-2014
There is no excuse for any of those things but do you think it may be more ignorance (for lack of a better word) than straight up neglect. Like, maybe she doesn't really know how to care for a child as well as she should. Could you kindly explain to her that he should be wiped, creamed, and powdered at each change and that he should be changed more often. Make up a story about something that happened with your own child as an example and how you dealt with it.
NightOwl 07:00 AM 04-29-2014
Report immediately. I once owned a center and had to make such reports but didn't want the parents to know it was me for fear of them pulling their child. So here's how I would handle it: I make the call anonymously; cps showed up at the center to investigate; after they left, I called dcm and said something like, "Omg, cps was just here to see dck! Is everything Ok?? I thought you would want to know that some one reported you for something. I can't imagine why!!" Worked every time. They felt like I was on their side by making that call to inform them and we were able to keep the child in care. Deceptive? Yes. But it served the child and kept dcp from bad mouthing the center and withdrawing their child. Win/win in my opinion.
Unregistered 07:10 AM 04-29-2014
This mom would definitely pull her child from me if CPS investigated. Outside of me, he is with no one else but her or his grandmother. The child doesn't get any sort of interaction otherwise. She'd know it was me immediately.
I've only had him for a few weeks. The first week, he showed up with white stool. I fed him appropriately, made note of it and by the end of the week, his stool and severe rash were gone. The weekend comes and goes and when he goes back, the white stool has returned and so has the severe rash. It's like I "fix him" and he's "broken" when he comes back.
I've only had him for a few weeks. The first week, he showed up with white stool. I fed him appropriately, made note of it and by the end of the week, his stool and severe rash were gone. The weekend comes and goes and when he goes back, the white stool has returned and so has the severe rash. It's like I "fix him" and he's "broken" when he comes back.
NightOwl 07:19 AM 04-29-2014
http://m.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/digesti...ry/202155.html
Read this. It could be an issue with his liver, which could be an issue with his diet. Do you think he's malnourished?
Read this. It could be an issue with his liver, which could be an issue with his diet. Do you think he's malnourished?
Mom o Col 07:22 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Report immediately. I once owned a center and had to make such reports but didn't want the parents to know it was me for fear of them pulling their child. So here's how I would handle it: I make the call anonymously; cps showed up at the center to investigate; after they left, I called dcm and said something like, "Omg, cps was just here to see dck! Is everything Ok?? I thought you would want to know that some one reported you for something. I can't imagine why!!" Worked every time. They felt like I was on their side by making that call to inform them and we were able to keep the child in care. Deceptive? Yes. But it served the child and kept dcp from bad mouthing the center and withdrawing their child. Win/win in my opinion.
In spite of my previous reply I also agree with the above if you do report.Report immediately. I once owned a center and had to make such reports but didn't want the parents to know it was me for fear of them pulling their child. So here's how I would handle it: I make the call anonymously; cps showed up at the center to investigate; after they left, I called dcm and said something like, "Omg, cps was just here to see dck! Is everything Ok?? I thought you would want to know that some one reported you for something. I can't imagine why!!" Worked every time. They felt like I was on their side by making that call to inform them and we were able to keep the child in care. Deceptive? Yes. But it served the child and kept dcp from bad mouthing the center and withdrawing their child. Win/win in my opinion.
Unregistered 07:26 AM 04-29-2014
My first thought was malnourishment since I can make things normal when I have him by the end of the week. But I couldn't say for sure. He eats fruit here like crazy. I don't know what kind of foods he is getting at home. I could pick big sisters brain this evening.
jenboo 07:30 AM 04-29-2014
if you suspect any form of abuse I would report. I took a child abuse class in collage and they couldnt stress this enough. It so very important to report even if you are arent positive. It covers your butt in case something is happening. If nothing is happening, then nothing is happening.
NightOwl 08:02 AM 04-29-2014
And if something IS happening and you fail to report, you could be held liable depending on the laws in your state.
KidGrind 09:37 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've signed out for this one to protect myself. Anyway.. I have a daycare mom that I asked if she uses powder or any sort of diaper rash cream on him. She responded with "never." He's ALWAYS got a rash. I can clear it up through out the day, and the next day, he has it again. If it's really bad, it can take all week to clear up, be fine on Friday, and when the kid returns the rash has returned, sometimes worse than before.
I DO use powder and rash cream on him. I can't leave the rash as is without trying to help it. Well, I've had the child come back each day with remnants of the powder and cream on him, proving that she isn't wiping him or bathing him. I've even had him go like that for 2-3 days without him being here and him return with powder or rash cream remnants.
The child suffers from a lot of developmental delay. He's a little over 2 and says nothing. His behavior is pretty bad. He throws food on the floor, throws temper tantrums and busts his head on the floor when he does it.
Mom has no clue what foods he likes (I've asked) and from my understanding from big sister, he eats a lot of fast food and junk food.
I'm pretty sure that the child is being neglected for the most part. There are days that if I sit with him and teach him things, he'll repeat them and try to do it - kind of showing me that DCM never does any of this stuff with him. He's a smart child but I really think that he missed his "window of opportunity" on a lot of stuff.
I don't know what to do at this point.. What would you do?
If you are a licensed/certified childcare professional you are a mandated reporter. You report the facts only to CPS or whatever you call it in your area.I've signed out for this one to protect myself. Anyway.. I have a daycare mom that I asked if she uses powder or any sort of diaper rash cream on him. She responded with "never." He's ALWAYS got a rash. I can clear it up through out the day, and the next day, he has it again. If it's really bad, it can take all week to clear up, be fine on Friday, and when the kid returns the rash has returned, sometimes worse than before.
I DO use powder and rash cream on him. I can't leave the rash as is without trying to help it. Well, I've had the child come back each day with remnants of the powder and cream on him, proving that she isn't wiping him or bathing him. I've even had him go like that for 2-3 days without him being here and him return with powder or rash cream remnants.
The child suffers from a lot of developmental delay. He's a little over 2 and says nothing. His behavior is pretty bad. He throws food on the floor, throws temper tantrums and busts his head on the floor when he does it.
Mom has no clue what foods he likes (I've asked) and from my understanding from big sister, he eats a lot of fast food and junk food.
I'm pretty sure that the child is being neglected for the most part. There are days that if I sit with him and teach him things, he'll repeat them and try to do it - kind of showing me that DCM never does any of this stuff with him. He's a smart child but I really think that he missed his "window of opportunity" on a lot of stuff.
I don't know what to do at this point.. What would you do?
KiddieCahoots 09:47 AM 04-29-2014
I would report it.
First... to protect yourself.
Second.....you don't know if there has been any other reports made in the past that services aren't already aware of and watching.
Like if the child was born with any substance addictions/withdrawals.
In which case, they would most likely seize the child, for fear of the parent using again.
I work with a lot of children in DCF. Because of the many children in need, and not enough state funding, numerous reports can be made before any action is done. The most extreme cases get acknowledged first. Others tend to get warnings, second chances, and referrals to services. Although now that DCF is in the news constantly, and under fire, with recent deaths of children that were in the care of DCF, things may change.
First... to protect yourself.
Second.....you don't know if there has been any other reports made in the past that services aren't already aware of and watching.
Like if the child was born with any substance addictions/withdrawals.
In which case, they would most likely seize the child, for fear of the parent using again.
I work with a lot of children in DCF. Because of the many children in need, and not enough state funding, numerous reports can be made before any action is done. The most extreme cases get acknowledged first. Others tend to get warnings, second chances, and referrals to services. Although now that DCF is in the news constantly, and under fire, with recent deaths of children that were in the care of DCF, things may change.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 09:59 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
And if something IS happening and you fail to report, you could be held liable depending on the laws in your state.
Exactly this.And if something IS happening and you fail to report, you could be held liable depending on the laws in your state.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 10:00 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
If you are a licensed/certified childcare professional you are a mandated reporter. You report the facts only to CPS or whatever you call it in your area.
exactly thisIf you are a licensed/certified childcare professional you are a mandated reporter. You report the facts only to CPS or whatever you call it in your area.
LadyPearl 10:03 AM 04-29-2014
Is he ever sick? An idea might be to require a doctor's note (to ensure that he actually went to the dr) and call the doctor's office ahead of time to explain your concerns. Dcm might assume the dr reported the abuse.
Josiegirl 10:22 AM 04-29-2014
What kind of a feel do you get of the mother? I mean, is she intelligent, lazy, hurried and stressed, depressed, kind but ignorant of how to care for children, etc.? I'm not asking because of whether you should report or not(I don't think it can ever be harmful to report if things seem off)but just trying to gain a sense of if she's lacking time, support, intelligence, child know-how etc. Also, where was he before he came to your daycare? How does the older sister seem to be cared for? Or is she pretty much left on her own to manage?
I know someone mentioned white stools can signify liver, malnutrition....can it point to too much calcium? I'm only asking because my dog was having white stools and I looked it up online, one of the reasons could be too much calcium so I don't know if that could be the same for people.
I think, somehow, resources need to be found to help teach her proper child care, nutrition. But I cannot imagine anybody not knowing a child's bottom needs to be cleaned up.
I know someone mentioned white stools can signify liver, malnutrition....can it point to too much calcium? I'm only asking because my dog was having white stools and I looked it up online, one of the reasons could be too much calcium so I don't know if that could be the same for people.
I think, somehow, resources need to be found to help teach her proper child care, nutrition. But I cannot imagine anybody not knowing a child's bottom needs to be cleaned up.
mountainside13 10:35 AM 04-29-2014
Hugs! 
I would also report it, if you don't and there is something going on. You will be kicking your self later.
I would also report it, if you don't and there is something going on. You will be kicking your self later.
DuchessRavenwaves 11:00 AM 04-29-2014
I had a similar situation in the past. I reported it. They did get investigated, although unfortunately (in my opinion) nothing happened after that. Report, ASAP!
drseuss 11:48 AM 04-29-2014
When I am in a situation where I am not really sure whether what I am seeing warrants a call to CPS, I make the call. I tell them that, although I may not believe that there is any abuse going on per se, I am concerned about XYZ and just have a conversation with them about it. I tell them what I see and they can decide whether it is something that needs to be pursued further.
Sometimes parents need services that they are either unwilling to ask for, do not think that they qualify for, or have been turned down for. If you make the call, that parent may end up getting some much-needed services for them and their children. One of my neighbors is in that very situation. Quadruplets, all with some level of ASD, one of them on the more extreme end. The little boy escapes the house despite their triple-lock system, he runs as fast as he can away from the house...we have been out searching for him many times. The police have been called, the fire dept., all neighbors out looking. And the county would not give this family a bracelet for this little boy even AFTER he'd done this a couple of times, supposedly because of budget restrictions. Last summer he got out again, and we found him a mile and a half down the road in the water UNDER THE DAM. That poor dad, he is about losing it worrying about this boy. I am talking, he is a living, breathing nervous breakdown. When he told me what they had been through to try to get services for their son, namely a bracelet, I was appalled. Dad was in tears. I told him I'd be calling CPS that day and he said THANK YOU!!!
Yeah, make the call.
Sometimes parents need services that they are either unwilling to ask for, do not think that they qualify for, or have been turned down for. If you make the call, that parent may end up getting some much-needed services for them and their children. One of my neighbors is in that very situation. Quadruplets, all with some level of ASD, one of them on the more extreme end. The little boy escapes the house despite their triple-lock system, he runs as fast as he can away from the house...we have been out searching for him many times. The police have been called, the fire dept., all neighbors out looking. And the county would not give this family a bracelet for this little boy even AFTER he'd done this a couple of times, supposedly because of budget restrictions. Last summer he got out again, and we found him a mile and a half down the road in the water UNDER THE DAM. That poor dad, he is about losing it worrying about this boy. I am talking, he is a living, breathing nervous breakdown. When he told me what they had been through to try to get services for their son, namely a bracelet, I was appalled. Dad was in tears. I told him I'd be calling CPS that day and he said THANK YOU!!!
Yeah, make the call.
TwinKristi 12:39 PM 04-29-2014
Yes I'd report it if she admitted to never using rash cream on his reoccurring rash, that's neglect. As far as her parenting... that's just laziness and IMO neglect as well but CPS may disagree. I wouldn't care if she pulled her kid or not, I don't want that mess on my hands!