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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Well, This Is A New One (Annoyance) For Me!
crazydaycarelady 12:57 PM 06-04-2014
I started a new 4mo a couple of weeks ago. Dcm comes at lunchtime to breastfeed. I have been sending her upstairs into the dining room for this. Well, guess who is meeting her here now??? Dcd! They are having a little lunchtime family rendezvous here at my house!!
Yeah.......this isn't McDonalds!
Yeah.......this isn't McDonalds!
spinnymarie 12:58 PM 06-04-2014
lol
who would've thought?!
who would've thought?!
craftymissbeth 12:59 PM 06-04-2014
Yeah that wouldn't work for me
crazydaycarelady 01:07 PM 06-04-2014
What do I say? I mean I have to have this "open door policy" where they can come and see their kids whenever, so why not both parents, and why not at lunchtime?
It's just that I didn't even know who was here in my house. I heard a man voice so I look up there and here is dcd!
I just don't like it. It's not even for very long - 20 minutes at most, but still.
It's just that I didn't even know who was here in my house. I heard a man voice so I look up there and here is dcd!
I just don't like it. It's not even for very long - 20 minutes at most, but still.
playground1 01:16 PM 06-04-2014
Honestly, that wouldn't bother me at all. What would bother me is that he couldn't even say hello and let you know he was there.
Blackcat31 01:40 PM 06-04-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
What do I say? I mean I have to have this "open door policy" where they can come and see their kids whenever, so why not both parents, and why not at lunchtime?
It's just that I didn't even know who was here in my house. I heard a man voice so I look up there and here is dcd!
I just don't like it. It's not even for very long - 20 minutes at most, but still.
Open door policy means access to their child NOT visiting with them. What do I say? I mean I have to have this "open door policy" where they can come and see their kids whenever, so why not both parents, and why not at lunchtime?
It's just that I didn't even know who was here in my house. I heard a man voice so I look up there and here is dcd!
I just don't like it. It's not even for very long - 20 minutes at most, but still.
I explain clearly to parents that "open door" policy means you can come and pick up your child ANY time you want.
I would have issues with a daily luncheon. Why not just tell the parents it is getting to be too confusing for the other kids and that you would prefer they either take the baby to the car (they can go to a park or McDonalds or wherever) and bring baby back after they had their lunch visit.
rebekki78 05:55 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by queen_of_the_playground:
Honestly, that wouldn't bother me at all. What would bother me is that he couldn't even say hello and let you know he was there.
This. I think I wouldn't mind either, but I'm not sure if I would want it to happen every day. But I would not be comfortable not knowing ahead of time!Honestly, that wouldn't bother me at all. What would bother me is that he couldn't even say hello and let you know he was there.
NeedaVaca 06:10 AM 06-05-2014
I would have a problem with this. I'm working, my house is not a hangout. Mom can feed the baby and leave or they can go to a park or something if they want family time. My open door policy does not mean parents get to hang out and play etc, but they are welcome to come pick up their child anytime and leave.
Childminder 06:21 AM 06-05-2014
The family reunion wouldn't bother me but I would have appreciated their asking or communicating with me first about it. Common courtesy.
This is all about QRIS, btw. Access and parental involvement.
This is all about QRIS, btw. Access and parental involvement.
DaisyMamma 06:35 AM 06-05-2014
Not much you can do. You agreed to it initially, right?
The baby will outgrow it, eventually. Hopefully they don't keep doing it after the fact, like when baby is eating regular meals and they all want to eat lunch together, not that I blame them...
I'm not sure I would have agreed initially. I tell moms they can leave breast milk. I've never had anyone ask if they could come to breastfeed at an interview, but if they did I would probably suddenly have other people interested in the space and would "let them know".... And I know that's not right in some people's eyes, but it makes me uncomfortable and this is my home.
The baby will outgrow it, eventually. Hopefully they don't keep doing it after the fact, like when baby is eating regular meals and they all want to eat lunch together, not that I blame them...
I'm not sure I would have agreed initially. I tell moms they can leave breast milk. I've never had anyone ask if they could come to breastfeed at an interview, but if they did I would probably suddenly have other people interested in the space and would "let them know".... And I know that's not right in some people's eyes, but it makes me uncomfortable and this is my home.
DaisyMamma 06:37 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by Childminder:
The family reunion wouldn't bother me but I would have appreciated their asking or communicating with me first about it. [about the dad coming as well] Common courtesy.
That is true.The family reunion wouldn't bother me but I would have appreciated their asking or communicating with me first about it. [about the dad coming as well] Common courtesy.
Originally Posted by Childminder:
This is all about QRIS, btw. Access and parental involvement.
What is QRIS?This is all about QRIS, btw. Access and parental involvement.
Blackcat31 06:39 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
What is QRIS?
Quality Rating and Improvement System. What is QRIS?
It is the federal governments name for what we (child care providers) all know as the star rating systems... each state seems to call theirs something different.
midaycare 07:11 AM 06-05-2014
I agree with PP who said to ask them to go to their car.
EntropyControlSpecialist 07:38 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Open door policy means access to their child NOT visiting with them.
I explain clearly to parents that "open door" policy means you can come and pick up your child ANY time you want.
I would have issues with a daily luncheon. Why not just tell the parents it is getting to be too confusing for the other kids and that you would prefer they either take the baby to the car (they can go to a park or McDonalds or wherever) and bring baby back after they had their lunch visit.
This sounds like a good compromise!Open door policy means access to their child NOT visiting with them.
I explain clearly to parents that "open door" policy means you can come and pick up your child ANY time you want.
I would have issues with a daily luncheon. Why not just tell the parents it is getting to be too confusing for the other kids and that you would prefer they either take the baby to the car (they can go to a park or McDonalds or wherever) and bring baby back after they had their lunch visit.
crazydaycarelady 07:51 AM 06-05-2014
I don't think I ever really agreed to this. Dcm never mentioned it until the first day at drop-off that she would come at lunch. No mention of dcd coming ever!
I never really thought about open-door being pick your kids up instead of you can see your kids whenever you want! I am going to be more specific in my contract about that!
It's just weird having another family up at my table enjoying lunch while I am working and wishing I could take a lunch break like that.
I never really thought about open-door being pick your kids up instead of you can see your kids whenever you want! I am going to be more specific in my contract about that!
It's just weird having another family up at my table enjoying lunch while I am working and wishing I could take a lunch break like that.
e.j. 11:33 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I don't think I ever really agreed to this. Dcm never mentioned it until the first day at drop-off that she would come at lunch. No mention of dcd coming ever!
I never really thought about open-door being pick your kids up instead of you can see your kids whenever you want! I am going to be more specific in my contract about that!
It's just weird having another family up at my table enjoying lunch while I am working and wishing I could take a lunch break like that.
I like the concept of a family feeling comfortable enough to "visit" but wouldn't feel comfortable at all with it in reality. I'm way too busy dealing with kids to have parents just hanging out together at my home, especially two relative strangers hanging out upstairs where I can't really see what they're doing. I don't think I ever really agreed to this. Dcm never mentioned it until the first day at drop-off that she would come at lunch. No mention of dcd coming ever!
I never really thought about open-door being pick your kids up instead of you can see your kids whenever you want! I am going to be more specific in my contract about that!
It's just weird having another family up at my table enjoying lunch while I am working and wishing I could take a lunch break like that.
I'd have to be direct with her and say something like, "I feel uncomfortable having to say this but....You caught me off guard the other day when you said you were planning to come at lunch to breastfeed the baby. It wasn't something we discussed in the interview. I thought I'd give it a try but to be honest, it's really not working for me. Could we work together to find an alternative solution that will work for both of us?"
Blackcat31 11:56 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I'd have to be direct with her and say something like, "I feel uncomfortable having to say this but....You caught me off guard the other day when you said you were planning to come at lunch to breastfeed the baby. It wasn't something we discussed in the interview. I thought I'd give it a try but to be honest, it's really not working for me. Could we work together to find an alternative solution that will work for both of us?"
I'd have to be direct with her and say something like, "I feel uncomfortable having to say this but....You caught me off guard the other day when you said you were planning to come at lunch to breastfeed the baby. It wasn't something we discussed in the interview. I thought I'd give it a try but to be honest, it's really not working for me. Could we work together to find an alternative solution that will work for both of us?"
Plus, you can throw in there that pretty soon the baby will be old enough that seeing mom come and go multiple times a day is going to have it's fall out...
The child may begin experiencing extreme separation anxiety kwim?
Heidi 12:28 PM 06-05-2014
I think supporting bf'ding is wonderful, so that part is just fine.
Having dad come and hang out too is going too far.
I might even go with "so, I have no problem with you coming to bf, but, I was surprised yesterday when I suddenly heard a man's voice. I really don't mind if dcd comes to join you once in a while, as long is it's not every day. But, could you please let me know ahead of time? I really need to know who's in my house, when, even if it's daycare parents.
Having dad come and hang out too is going too far.
I might even go with "so, I have no problem with you coming to bf, but, I was surprised yesterday when I suddenly heard a man's voice. I really don't mind if dcd comes to join you once in a while, as long is it's not every day. But, could you please let me know ahead of time? I really need to know who's in my house, when, even if it's daycare parents.
CraftyMom 01:04 PM 06-05-2014
OP is this everyday or just that one time? And are they actually eating a meal in your home or just feeding the baby?
SignMeUp 01:30 PM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
I think supporting bf'ding is wonderful, so that part is just fine.
Having dad come and hang out too is going too far.
I might even go with "so, I have no problem with you coming to bf, but, I was surprised yesterday when I suddenly heard a man's voice. I really don't mind if dcd comes to join you once in a while, as long is it's not every day. But, could you please let me know ahead of time? I really need to know who's in my house, when, even if it's daycare parents.
Yes. We don't background check our daycare parents I think supporting bf'ding is wonderful, so that part is just fine.
Having dad come and hang out too is going too far.
I might even go with "so, I have no problem with you coming to bf, but, I was surprised yesterday when I suddenly heard a man's voice. I really don't mind if dcd comes to join you once in a while, as long is it's not every day. But, could you please let me know ahead of time? I really need to know who's in my house, when, even if it's daycare parents.
so technically, don't we have to have "eyes on them" every minute they are here? That's what is enforced where I live. Not specific to parents, but to anyone in my house for any reason during child care hours.
crazydaycarelady 02:22 PM 06-05-2014
It is not happening everyday. I've found out that it is the days that mom drops off in the am and dad needs to pick up. Apparently they are switching cars and meeting here to do it. I am not sure why they don't just get another base?
nannyde 05:35 PM 06-05-2014
I don't allow on site breastfeeding. I do all the feedings and make sure the baby is fed before departure.
It's not personal. I wouldn't allow on site visiting for any reason.
It won't be long until the baby starts squirming around and wanting down on the floor to run house. It won't be long before the mom starts getting bored and wants to feed in the playroom so she can see the other kids.
It won't be long before Dad gets bored and starts walking around the house.
They are all going to get comfortable and bored soon.
It's not personal. I wouldn't allow on site visiting for any reason.
It won't be long until the baby starts squirming around and wanting down on the floor to run house. It won't be long before the mom starts getting bored and wants to feed in the playroom so she can see the other kids.
It won't be long before Dad gets bored and starts walking around the house.
They are all going to get comfortable and bored soon.
Meeko 08:29 PM 06-05-2014
I would actually be livid.
You didn't know the DCD was in the house until you heard his voice? That means he either let himself in, or DCM told him to come in.
The only person who has the right to say "Come on in" is YOU.
It is beyond rude to just sit down in someone else's home...uninvited....and act like it's OK.
Nannyde is right....if they are comfortable enough doing that, they are fast going to get comfortable with other rude behaviors too.
These people need to be told there are boundaries...because they already think there aren't any.
You didn't know the DCD was in the house until you heard his voice? That means he either let himself in, or DCM told him to come in.
The only person who has the right to say "Come on in" is YOU.
It is beyond rude to just sit down in someone else's home...uninvited....and act like it's OK.
Nannyde is right....if they are comfortable enough doing that, they are fast going to get comfortable with other rude behaviors too.
These people need to be told there are boundaries...because they already think there aren't any.
Meeko 08:38 PM 06-05-2014
Ooops...sorry...posted twice
CraftyMom 05:52 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
Yes. We don't background check our daycare parents so technically, don't we have to have "eyes on them" every minute they are here? That's what is enforced where I live. Not specific to parents, but to anyone in my house for any reason during child care hours.
Yes, my regs say I would have to have my eyes on them at all times. That might be just while they are around the children though. Even still, I wouldn't want someone in my house, not even just the mom, while I am not around. Op is in the basement with the kids it seems. I would not like this one bit!Yes. We don't background check our daycare parents
so technically, don't we have to have "eyes on them" every minute they are here? That's what is enforced where I live. Not specific to parents, but to anyone in my house for any reason during child care hours.
daycare_jen 06:15 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
Yes, my regs say I would have to have my eyes on them at all times. That might be just while they are around the children though. Even still, I wouldn't want someone in my house, not even just the mom, while I am not around. Op is in the basement with the kids it seems. I would not like this one bit!
yes, I wouldn't feel comfortable with people in my home like that. I had an experience with a dcm who was also a long-time friendly acquaintance... she would want to nurse at pick up, they were the last ones there, and since my home has an open floor plan and she wasn't comfortable nursing in front of others, it involved me and my family staying in the upstairs bedrooms or going outside for the duration of the nursing time... I let it happen a few times, but was uncomfortable with that and ended it. They lived 10 minutes from my house, she could get home and nurse her child there. Yes, my regs say I would have to have my eyes on them at all times. That might be just while they are around the children though. Even still, I wouldn't want someone in my house, not even just the mom, while I am not around. Op is in the basement with the kids it seems. I would not like this one bit!
Tell dcm that you prefer to keep your home "your home" and that while you support her in breastfeeding, she will need to take her child out to do so or you can feed the baby the breastmilk she provides.
crazydaycarelady 09:19 AM 06-06-2014
Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
daycare_jen 10:21 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
TheGoodLife 11:13 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
KiddieCahoots 11:24 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
Omg! Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
......Too funny!
crazydaycarelady 12:18 PM 06-06-2014
I guess I am also going to have to post a sign that says "Please push your chair in and put the boppy pillow away. Seriously.
SignMeUp 01:10 PM 06-06-2014
I think that licensing here would see it as a violation of regulations, unless your dining room is also an authorized child care space.
Maybe you can use that as a reason -- and she will just have to sit somewhere in a corner of the child care room, cover herself, and nurse.
Less comfortable than what you set up, but hey, she changed that tune
Maybe you can use that as a reason -- and she will just have to sit somewhere in a corner of the child care room, cover herself, and nurse.
Less comfortable than what you set up, but hey, she changed that tune