Tell Me How to Handle This

[NiNi.R.]

I have an opening. I began interviewing at the end of April. I met a single mom (in the process of divorce), who has a job lined up, and is moving here to be closer to family. She came to meet me with her daughter right after her orientation at her new job. Daughter was polite, played and listened well. Mom was respectful, overjoyed by what my program offered, didn't have any concerns about any of my policies. Only issue was the drama with the ex. He isn't on board with her moving a few hours away with their child (understandable), she doesn't want to be a single mom several hours away from family support (understandable), they are working on getting an agreement in place and she is supposed to start the 18th.

I sat on it for a few days and offered her the spot, she accepted, and I emailed her the paperwork. Never heard from her. Contacted her on Monday to confirm plans that her child will start the 18th. She apologized and said that her ex is opposing her move and request for residential custody. She was not worried about the outcome, but with court systems being shut down and backed up, everything is a slower process. She had a meeting with her lawyer that day to see if she could go ahead and move. She was waiting to see how that turned out, and that is why she hadn't contacted me yet, and that she would let me know how it goes.

I've heard nothing from her since. I'm so irritated. I'm sure this situation is extra stressful and chaotic. I could have more patience with the situation...but the lack of communication is really bothering me. What do I say to her? How long do I give it before I just fill it with someone else? HELP!

[Josiegirl]

Nothing is confirmed until you have signed paperwork, deposit and the first week's rates in hand. Personally, I'd email her and let her know she has until Friday, then you will be interviewing others for your opening. I understand it must be hard for her going through all of this BUT you can't allow her problems to be your problems. This is your business, your livelihood and you have bills to pay.

[Snowmom]

I think it's pretty cut/dry. If she isn't paying for a spot, you're free to offer it to someone else.
No contract sign=no guarantee.

If you find someone else, just tell her that since she didn't guarantee her spot with a contract and payment, you had to go with the next in line who did.

I understand you're frustrated with the lack of communication. And while I understand why she hasn't contacted you, I'd be a little concerned that this is how your future relationship is going to play out as well. Maybe it's for the best!

[Josiegirl]

And who's to say it will even work out for her at all? Then you'd be holding a spot for who-knows-how-long for someone who's not even going to use it. Put yourself(and your family) first.

[Former Teacher]

Originally Posted by Josiegirl

Nothing is confirmed until you have signed paperwork, deposit and the first week's rates in hand. Personally, I'd email her and let her know she has until Friday, then you will be interviewing others for your opening. I understand it must be hard for her going through all of this BUT you can't allow her problems to be your problems. This is your business, your livelihood and you have bills to pay.

I totally agree!

It's like selling something. NO HOLDS....FIRST COME FIRST SERVED.

I would give her a deadline. If she doesn't respond...move on

[rosieteddy]

I wouldn't even give her a deadline .Let her know you are offering the spot to someone else.When she actually moves you can re interview. This is a huge red flag. I wouldn't want to deal with the uncertainty .

[Cat Herder]

I'm not buying it. She doesn't need permission to move.

I'd give her until Friday to pay tuition online for next week, then move on. I could care less when her start date would be, only the day she begins online payment of tuition.

[NiNi.R.]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I'm not buying it. She doesn't need permission to move.

Actually in our state you do if the distance is substantial enough it would affect parenting time for the other parent. When an order has been filed, it is up to the parent who wants to move to prove why the move would be in the best interest of the child. (A job to provide better, family support, etc).

I do feel for her, but the lack of communication is so frustrating. I decided not to say anything to her for now, but I went ahead and began advertising again.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by NiNi.R.

Actually in our state you do if the distance is substantial enough it would affect parenting time for the other parent. When an order has been filed, it is up to the parent who wants to move to prove why the move would be in the best interest of the child. (A job to provide better, family support, etc).

I do feel for her, but the lack of communication is so frustrating. I decided not to say anything to her for now, but I went ahead and began advertising again.

Here it is only within state lines. Red state. Out of state splits transportation.

Why can't you simply tell her the slot is hers as of the 18th if she wants it or you have to give it to the next person on your waitlist? Tuition in full due by 18th.

[dolores]

I would suggest you move on and offer the spot to the next person who makes a deposit for it. Do not hold spot w/o payment, do not hang your hat on what they say to you and do not pursue them to enroll. When she is ready to pay she will contact you again but don't hold up your business for it. Why should you put your livelihood on pause for her? Usually the drama begins after they start but she is giving it upfront and you're stressing. Red flags. When it starts wrong, it continues wrong. I hope this situation resolves soon so you can unwind

[AmyKidsCo]

I agree with everyone else. Let her know she's got until ____ to enroll, and full payment is due beginning the 18th, whether the child is in attendance or not. If she's not willing, then she runs the risk that the opening won't be available when she wants it. Then keep looking and if you get a "sure bet" go with it.

[Ac114]

Originally Posted by NiNi.R.

Actually in our state you do if the distance is substantial enough it would affect parenting time for the other parent. When an order has been filed, it is up to the parent who wants to move to prove why the move would be in the best interest of the child. (A job to provide better, family support, etc).

I do feel for her, but the lack of communication is so frustrating. I decided not to say anything to her for now, but I went ahead and began advertising again.

I was just going to say that I had a friend who’s husband had it written in their divorce decree that she couldn’t even move out of the county.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Ac114

I was just going to say that I had a friend who’s husband had it written in their divorce decree that she couldn’t even move out of the county.

They would have to agree to it. She must have traded some other concession for that agreement like extended alimony or the newer car. It would also be very difficult to enforce. Contempt cases of divorce agreements are lost every. single. day.

[Sunshine69]

I’d fill the spot with the first acceptable, paying client.

I have sympathy for the situation but also my own family to support.