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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Want to Quit!
mountainside13 02:15 PM 12-09-2014
I really want to quit right now! My 2 year old is really sick and I called the parents to pick up. Almost all the parents picked up right away except one. I'm still waiting for them to get here after 90 minutes. There normal pick up time is in 7 minutes! I am really upset! My son has been screaming in pain and I can't do anything about it. I can't take him to the doctor until the child leaves. I am so defeated! Why why why?!?!?
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AuntTami 02:20 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
I really want to quit right now! My 2 year old is really sick and I called the parents to pick up. Almost all the parents picked up right away except one. I'm still waiting for them to get here after 90 minutes. There normal pick up time is in 7 minutes! I am really upset! My son has been screaming in pain and I can't do anything about it. I can't take him to the doctor until the child leaves. I am so defeated! Why why why?!?!?
Call again to come get the child immediately or you will call an emergency contsct
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mountainside13 02:28 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Call again to come get the child immediately or you will call an emergency contsct
He picked up at his normal pick up time. He was frustrated at me! He was the one that showed up at normal time. He said I need to be open tomorrow because no one else can watch the child.
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AuntTami 02:37 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
He picked up at his normal pick up time. He was frustrated at me! He was the one that showed up at normal time. He said I need to be open tomorrow because no one else can watch the child.
Do you have a handbook that covers your illness policy? If so, show it to him next time you see him. And if you're not open tomorrow, that's HIS responsibility to find alternate care. If your son is sick and you don't want to open, that's your choice as a business owner and he needs to respect that. It's not on you to make sure he has daycare lined up, that's his responsibility.
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craftymissbeth 02:40 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
He picked up at his normal pick up time. He was frustrated at me! He was the one that showed up at normal time. He said I need to be open tomorrow because no one else can watch the child.
See ya later, dude! No one gets to talk to me like that or tell me what I "need" to do when it pertains to my business or family.
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craftymissbeth 02:41 PM 12-09-2014
mountain, I know it's frustrating that this guy is being a jerk, but I think getting rid of him would be far better than quitting
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mountainside13 03:04 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
mountain, I know it's frustrating that this guy is being a jerk, but I think getting rid of him would be far better than quitting
Thank you! It's not just him. It's everything. I'm burnt out and can't get out of the hole. This is just another piece giving me reason to want to move on. I'm not happy anymore.
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Josiegirl 03:06 PM 12-09-2014
Can you afford to let them go? It sounds like another parent who is 'the boss'. The disrespect he has shown for you and your sick child is unbelievable. Even if I had to eat rice I'd tell him he's gone due to lack of respect.
Hope your son feels better!!
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mountainside13 04:02 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Can you afford to let them go? It sounds like another parent who is 'the boss'. The disrespect he has shown for you and your sick child is unbelievable. Even if I had to eat rice I'd tell him he's gone due to lack of respect.
Hope your son feels better!!
I could afford to term them.

He was diagnosed with Croup and Rotovirus. I should close tomorrow right?
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Leigh 04:55 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
I could afford to term them.

He was diagnosed with Croup and Rotovirus. I should close tomorrow right?
You should absolutely close-rotovirus is miserable and contagious. If you have infants, croup can be very hard on them-both COULD be fatal in infants. Talk to your own doctor about precautions and when he/she feels you should reopen.
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TheGoodLife 05:59 PM 12-09-2014
Close tomorrow, and send a notice to DCD that you are closed permanently after tomorrow- he will need to find care tomorrow and permanently afterward! I would never allow that lack of respect toward my family in my home again
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mountainside13 06:06 PM 12-09-2014
Thank you! I notified the parents that I am closed tomorrow over an hour ago. I haven't heard from the problem dad recently. My first response was the diagnosis. His response was he was confused and am I still open. I responded within 5 minutes. Then nothing back. I sent a text over 25 minutes ago saying I need confirmation that he received it. Nothing yet. It's so odd because they used to be so amazing! The perfect parents. But the last 1-2 months they have been really difficult! I am going to try and call them.
I know the right thing was to close. Just needed some encouragement. :-)
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Shell 06:28 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
Thank you! I notified the parents that I am closed tomorrow over an hour ago. I haven't heard from the problem dad recently. My first response was the diagnosis. His response was he was confused and am I still open. I responded within 5 minutes. Then nothing back. I sent a text over 25 minutes ago saying I need confirmation that he received it. Nothing yet. It's so odd because they used to be so amazing! The perfect parents. But the last 1-2 months they have been really difficult! I am going to try and call them.
I know the right thing was to close. Just needed some encouragement. :-)
Don't call them. They are probably trying to find care for tomorrow, and probably beyond. In my experience, when a good parent goes "bad", it's not too long before they start looking for a new daycare. Please don't let him disrespect you- it was rude and unfair of him to pick up at regular time when your child needed to get to the doctor. Frankly, it's unacceptable. I would tell him that your child comes first, and he should have a backup. If not, perhaps a center would be a better fit.
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TheGoodLife 06:33 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by Shell:
Don't call them. They are probably trying to find care for tomorrow, and probably beyond. In my experience, when a good parent goes "bad", it's not too long before they start looking for a new daycare. Please don't let him disrespect you- it was rude and unfair of him to pick up at regular time when your child needed to get to the doctor. Frankly, it's unacceptable. I would tell him that your child comes first, and he should have a backup. If not, perhaps a center would be a better fit.
I wouldn't give him a chance to term- term him immediately! I am so angry for you and sad for your son Don't allow him the decency of a notice, that was beyond rude and potentially dangerous for your son had it been something more serious!
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rosieteddy 07:34 PM 12-09-2014
I would defineately put a sign on your door tomorrow.Ialways post -REMEMBER DAYCARE CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.do not answer the door.I would leave a message that you will see how your son does and make a decision about Thursday as well. Print out your policies for this family and be ready if he questions you.Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed.It is really hard to have a balance with this job.
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e.j. 07:44 PM 12-09-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
Thank you! I notified the parents that I am closed tomorrow over an hour ago. I haven't heard from the problem dad recently. My first response was the diagnosis. His response was he was confused and am I still open. I responded within 5 minutes. Then nothing back. I sent a text over 25 minutes ago saying I need confirmation that he received it. Nothing yet. It's so odd because they used to be so amazing! The perfect parents. But the last 1-2 months they have been really difficult! I am going to try and call them.
I know the right thing was to close. Just needed some encouragement. :-)
If it were me, I wouldn't chase him down. He's probably just ticked off that you're closed tomorrow despite the fact that he told you you couldn't close. He's the parent. It's his responsibility to figure out a back up child care plan.

Croup on top of Rotovirus ...poor kid! My dd had Rotovirus when she was 2. She ended up being hospitalized due to dehydration. It was miserable - and scary - for all of us. I hope your son is feeling better soon.
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Josiegirl 02:57 AM 12-10-2014
Your poor little guy. No wonder he was so cranky. Did they put him on medication?

Trying to give such a selfish dcparent the benefit of the doubt, especially since they used to be such a good family...maybe something has happened in his life recently that has made him this way, marriage or work going sour? Too many demands? I don't know but he needs to get his act together regardless and treat his dcprovider with a whole lot more respect.

Hope your son starts feeling better soon. A day or 2 of mommy time without a bunch of kids running around will help him feel better.
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LadyK8 07:05 AM 12-10-2014
How's everything going?
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KiddieCahoots 07:09 AM 12-10-2014
I'm sorry your little guy is so sick.

And I'm sorry this is adding to that burnt out feeling. It can suck the life out of you when your going through it, that's for sure!

I don't know if this will help, but at those times, I try to keep reminding myself...."this too shall pass", and it usually does. Dcd may have fallen from grace for a split second, only you will know if it's worth the effort to correct him and give him another chance, or let him go.

Stay focused on what's right for you and your family and go from there.
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Unregistered 09:18 AM 12-10-2014
I am sorry that your child is sick and that you are so frustrated. How many children are in the daycare? Do you have any backup that can help you?

As a parent, I cannot imagine getting enough days off for all the day I am sick, all the days my child is sick, all the days my DC provider is sick, and all the days her children are sick. So, your arrangement would not work for me. I would not be rude to you like this dad was though. I just would not have signed up. Is it clear in the handbook that care is not available to DC children when your own children are sick?
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Leigh 09:57 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am sorry that your child is sick and that you are so frustrated. How many children are in the daycare? Do you have any backup that can help you?

As a parent, I cannot imagine getting enough days off for all the day I am sick, all the days my child is sick, all the days my DC provider is sick, and all the days her children are sick. So, your arrangement would not work for me. I would not be rude to you like this dad was though. I just would not have signed up. Is it clear in the handbook that care is not available to DC children when your own children are sick?
Many jobs, unfortunately, don't provide adequate time off for their employees, let alone their employees' children, to be sick. However, when I was the parent utilizing daycare services, I went to work when I was sick (it's where I caught it, anyway) so that I could save all of my vacation and sick time for when my child was sick or my daycare was closed.

I have often heard from parents that they "can't" take off work to be with their own sick child, but these same parents manage to get time off to go on vacation, to concerts, golfing, or just for a "me" day. It's usually about priorities more than anything.
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Unregistered 10:39 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I have often heard from parents that they "can't" take off work to be with their own sick child, but these same parents manage to get time off to go on vacation, to concerts, golfing, or just for a "me" day. It's usually about priorities more than anything.
I can, and do WANT to, stay home with my child when he is sick. I cannot (and would not want to) use my limited days off because my DC provider is sick. This is why, as I said before, I would never have agreed to an arrangement where this was spelled out. I understand for emergencies- if your child is sick, I will come pick mine up so you can go to the doctor, get things settled, etc-- but not for you to be closed multiple days.
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melilley 10:47 AM 12-10-2014
Awww, I hope your little one is ok! My ds had croup last year and I felt so bad for him. Hope your guy feels better soon!

Sorry that dcd treated you that way, that's uncalled for-what if it was his child who was sick?.
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ColorfulSunburst 10:59 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can, and do WANT to, stay home with my child when he is sick. I cannot (and would not want to) use my limited days off because my DC provider is sick. This is why, as I said before, I would never have agreed to an arrangement where this was spelled out. I understand for emergencies- if your child is sick, I will come pick mine up so you can go to the doctor, get things settled, etc-- but not for you to be closed multiple days.


if I'm sick I'm not going to ask permission of my customer to be closed. My business, my rules, my decision.
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deliberateliterate 11:40 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by ColorfulSunburst:


if I'm sick I'm not going to ask permission of my customer to be closed. My business, my rules, my decision.
No kidding! I work through colds, sinus and bladder infections, etc, and I don't close lightly (twice in over two years), but if I'm too sick to adequately take care of my DCKs, I'm going to close without any guilt at all.
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My3cents 11:43 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
See ya later, dude! No one gets to talk to me like that or tell me what I "need" to do when it pertains to my business or family.
this all the way!
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Annalee 11:44 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by ColorfulSunburst:


if I'm sick I'm not going to ask permission of my customer to be closed. My business, my rules, my decision.

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craftymissbeth 11:47 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by ColorfulSunburst:


if I'm sick I'm not going to ask permission of my customer to be closed. My business, my rules, my decision.
No kidding. And why would anyone want to send their child to a provider who is sick or has a VERY sick child at home with them? Even if OP hired back-up to come in, her VERY sick child is still in the home.
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My3cents 11:47 AM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
No kidding! I work through colds, sinus and bladder infections, etc, and I don't close lightly (twice in over two years), but if I'm too sick to adequately take care of my DCKs, I'm going to close without any guilt at all.
and this!!!
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TheGoodLife 12:46 PM 12-10-2014
Thinking about you and your son today- hope he is feeling better and you had no stress from your DCFs!
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TheGoodLife 12:52 PM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can, and do WANT to, stay home with my child when he is sick. I cannot (and would not want to) use my limited days off because my DC provider is sick. This is why, as I said before, I would never have agreed to an arrangement where this was spelled out. I understand for emergencies- if your child is sick, I will come pick mine up so you can go to the doctor, get things settled, etc-- but not for you to be closed multiple days.
I agree, there are people who cannot work with such unknowns like emergency or last-minute closings. That is when centers are a good option! I do am small home daycare and have 3 kids of my own (all 5 and under) and am pregnant. I have closed unexpectedly twice in almost 3 years- once when my DD broke her arm the night before and once when I had a miscarriage. However, we are lucky to not get sick often. I tell all my parents that my husband is often available as a sub, but they need to have a plan B in place in case of emergencies. That is just part of home daycares (smaller ones, at least, without a sub).
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CraftyMom 02:02 PM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can, and do WANT to, stay home with my child when he is sick. I cannot (and would not want to) use my limited days off because my DC provider is sick.
So you would rather send your child to be taken care of by a daycare provider who is sick? We don't mean a slight cold, but SICK. That's odd.

As you said, you can and want to be with your child when he is sick...a daycare provider doesn't deserve to do the same? And having her child there with 5 or more other kids doesn't count as being home with him. She needs to take care of her SICK child. And you prefer for your child to be around this SICK child. Also odd.

Well, we can pretty much guarantee you'd be taking time off soon to be with YOUR sick child since you prefer to have him around very sick people. Either way you'd be taking a day off
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daycarediva 02:15 PM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Many jobs, unfortunately, don't provide adequate time off for their employees, let alone their employees' children, to be sick. However, when I was the parent utilizing daycare services, I went to work when I was sick (it's where I caught it, anyway) so that I could save all of my vacation and sick time for when my child was sick or my daycare was closed.

I have often heard from parents that they "can't" take off work to be with their own sick child, but these same parents manage to get time off to go on vacation, to concerts, golfing, or just for a "me" day. It's usually about priorities more than anything.
The parents who give me grief about having no more time off, or fail to plan for scheduled closings, are the SAME parents who take weeks off for solo/couple vacations, take days off because they are sick, play 'hooky' from work, etc.

Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
No kidding. And why would anyone want to send their child to a provider who is sick or has a VERY sick child at home with them? Even if OP hired back-up to come in, her VERY sick child is still in the home.
I agree!! I have my dh who has a more flexible schedule stay with my sick kids. I separate as much as possible. I give parents a heads up, and some even chose to keep their own child home to avoid getting sick.
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e.j. 02:23 PM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can, and do WANT to, stay home with my child when he is sick. I cannot (and would not want to) use my limited days off because my DC provider is sick. This is why, as I said before, I would never have agreed to an arrangement where this was spelled out. I understand for emergencies- if your child is sick, I will come pick mine up so you can go to the doctor, get things settled, etc-- but not for you to be closed multiple days.
I totally understand this and think it's perfectly reasonable to feel this way. The key is knowing what will and will not work for your individual needs and choosing child care accordingly. Different strokes for different folks, right?
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Play Care 03:02 PM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I totally understand this and think it's perfectly reasonable to feel this way. The key is knowing what will and will not work for your individual needs and choosing child care accordingly. Different strokes for different folks, right?
Absolutely! Not every day care situation is right for every family and kudos to the parent that realizes that before signing on!
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ColorfulSunburst 03:15 PM 12-10-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
No kidding. And why would anyone want to send their child to a provider who is sick or has a VERY sick child at home with them? Even if OP hired back-up to come in, her VERY sick child is still in the home.
Because of that I will be closed if I'm sick. Even if some customer thinks that I MUST keep my daycare open.
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Josiegirl 04:27 PM 12-10-2014
I stress, really seriously stress, in my policies that emergencies arise and parents need to have a dependable back up in place just in case. I rarely take sick time but I do have to have appts. occasionally. Thankfully they can plan ahead for those.

However, I did have a dcm who was terribly worried about what she was going to do with her ds while my mom was laying in a hospital bed dying. I worked as much as I could but there came a time when I told myself 'this is so stupid. I have only 1 mother, dcfs will come and go.' I let go of the guilt and the manipulation and said 'you'll figure it out'

Too many home providers neglect themselves completely, try to stretch themselves between caring for their own sick child with many other kids around, to the point where they themselves take the brunt of everything. I'll bet most of the dcparents who complain about a provider closing have more time off than any provider they know.

Yes, those people definitely need a center for their child.
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mountainside13 05:59 PM 12-10-2014
He is doing better now. I haven't had to clean poo off the floor in 4 hours so that's great. Hopefully that means its almost over. I don't take sick days for myself. If I'm really sick my husband stays home to watch the kids. When my kids get sick I tell the parents and they still drop off. If I need help most of the time my husband can get off.
I don't know if anything has changed at home for my daycare family. I know that the little girl calls him by his first name. Dad mentioned awhile back that she won't call him dad because mom always yells his name at him. So maybe marriage issues. But other than that I have no clue.
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Unregistered 10:27 AM 12-11-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
So you would rather send your child to be taken care of by a daycare provider who is sick? We don't mean a slight cold, but SICK. That's odd.

As you said, you can and want to be with your child when he is sick...a daycare provider doesn't deserve to do the same? And having her child there with 5 or more other kids doesn't count as being home with him. She needs to take care of her SICK child. And you prefer for your child to be around this SICK child. Also odd.

Well, we can pretty much guarantee you'd be taking time off soon to be with YOUR sick child since you prefer to have him around very sick people. Either way you'd be taking a day off
Or what about when that mom is sick herself? I'm sure she does NOT want to BE at work. Nor does her employer want a sick employee spreading the joy....
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