What do you think of this? I love it. Several of my friends blasted me for it on fb, saying this guy is not realistic, they've never seen anyone do crafts, etc.. but I have heard of lots of parents like this, especially on this board. Do you think this is becoming more the norm as opposed to how I spent my childhood, out roaming the neighbourhood til dark? I know safety concerns are higher now, but it just reminds me of the mother that was arrested recently b/c her 9 yr old was playing at a park all day by herself. At 6, I was home alone and cooked dinner! (Not the best situation, but it is what it is.) Several of my working mom friends said they do need a bit of scheduling b/c they work outside the home and can't just pop in on a friend whenever..

http://www.dadncharge.com/2014/07/ba...l?spref=fb&m=1

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Yes it is becoming the norm. Parents feel that they need to entertain their kids all the time, it's ridiculous!

I do have play dates with my kids and I do schedule them in advance (with the daycare, I can't have kids during the week and I'm not able to drop off/pick up during the week, so we pretty much have weekends). But I don't play with them or try to entertain them. My dd is 4 and sometimes needs direction, so I will gladly point them in the right direction if they need it, but I don't set up activites or projects (I do enough of that w the daycare!)

I do think that sometimes it is cultural too. I was raised similar to how you were but my dh had a sahm that would create elaborate projects (think Martina stewart). Even now she comes up with the best activities for when our kids visit, it's very sweet but not necessary, kwim?

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I think "playdates" are stupid.

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I don’t do play dates.

Kids still knock on my door or ring the phone to ask if my kids can come outside to play.

I thought play dates were for meet ups at Chucky Cheese.

I don’t do Chucky Cheese at all. It is my Hell on Earth.

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Maybe I'm misunderstanding what the definition of a 'playdate' is. I thought it was the new phrase for when kids come over to play?

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I think they're stupid, too. I am trying not to introduce that word into my 2 yr old son's vocabulary!

He's still too young for friends to come over without their parents (and because I don't want to watch any kids outside of daycare hours), and all his friends are just the children of MY friends at this point... But I still intend never to start that trend.

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From my understanding, it is more when two moms notice their children have a friendship, say at daycare or preschool, and the moms schedule a play date together. Kids play, mom's supervise and talk. Or picture the bored child whining, "there's nothing to do mom, can you schedule me a play date?"

No more spontaneity. No more, running next door to ask "Can Joey play right now?" It's pre-planned, parent initiated, super supervised fun.

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I find it so hard for kids to run over to their neighbors house and knock on the door like we used to do as kids. Most families on my block work till 6 pm and have an hour commute and their kids are in daycare or after care till 6:30/7pm. Weekends they rush them around so much and they are not home at all. Parents start to feel guilty that their kids have no life so they pencil in a play date with a mom they aspire to be friends with for some social/financial/power gain.

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I have a 6-year-old. It's summer. No kids around us. If I don't call a parent, no friends come over. I'm not weirded out by it.

I don't plan activities. Kids get dropped off. They play.

And I love Chuck E. Cheese. We go about every 6 months and have a blast. My son and I get the same amount of tokens and have so much fun playing games and winning tickets. Skee Ball or bust!

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Oh. Totally NOT what I thought it was!

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I think we have the same idea of what we think it is. I like chuck e cheese too!

I dropped off two of my kids at one of their friends houses today and went grocery shopping. A couple of weeks ago, her kids were dropped off while she went out running errands. I do set up the days with the parents of when the kids are to be taken over or brought to my house. I work long hours during the week and I can't stop my day to drop off/pick up my kids and I can't have kids just dropped off at my house. During the weekends, I am running around trying to clean and do the errands that I don't have time to do during the week, so knocking on my door probably wouldn't work either.

I don't see anything wrong with scheduling kids visiting each other. My kids are 2,4, & 6, so maybe that will change as they get older, who knows?

I don't play with them or entertain them, I'm usually doing laundry or something similar. For my 4 year old, sometimes I set up some random art stuff and let them go at it. I didn't realize that a playdate meant I was expected to stay there, oops!

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I dont trust ANYONE with my kids. We have been in this neighborhood for almost 4 years and I just started letting my older two go to ONE neighbors house. The parents are teachers and are awesome and I still didnt trust them for a long time. I will allow some of my kids friends over here, but it depends on the kids. There is liability to allowing other kids over that there never was before. We do not have spontaneous friends over or going over to other people's houses because 1. I dont trust my kids to just anyone and I dont want to hang out at other peoples house to supervise 2. me and my husband work A LOT. we dont want to be around extra kids all the time. 3. we only have a small number of friends that are available to be spontaneous. Most people live too far, work a lot, have things going on so you cant just drop off an extra kid at anytime. I know that we are not spontaneous either.

Lastly, I supervise (but not entertain) all my kids and their friends pretty closely. I normally dont have to offer up any ideas for activities though. Todays age is not one that is conducive to kids running around all time at random. I dont want kids showing up at random my house either. It is just a different way to grow up, it doesnt mean it is all bad. I think I am a better parent for being aware of my kids friends and those friends parents.

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Between the 2 of us, this last time we won almost 700 tickets. That was enough to get a cheap rubber ball. But how can you hate on the mouse? It's a fun time. We make it a special treat and quality mom-and-son time together.

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This. There are some crazy people out there. Things have changed since I was a kid, and that wasn't all THAT long ago. I'm only in my 30's.

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There are crazy people but crime is down overall and in some categories dramatically down even though the population keeps increasing. I looked it up a while back but here is a breakdown from the FBI site for up to 2012.

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr..._1993-2012.xls

Did you read some of the comments after the article? I agree with what looks like the majority that we now have 24 hour news stations and it scares us unnecessarily. Also we now teach children stranger danger. We even have websites to tell us exactly who the child predators are in our neighborhood. So it seems we are even more cautious nowadays. I also feel uneasy but it is probably unfounded fear. Doesn't make it any easier but crime is down.

Laurel

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Read the article and think it's yet another "remember when" type thing...

I will say my feelings have *nothing* to do with "stranger danger" or crime.

I had the "typical" 70/80's childhood - and much like the author describes. I *know* what trouble we got in to. Frankly there are times I'm surprised we made it out alive I have maintained that I wish my parents would have signed us up for more camps, lessons, etc. rather than letting us roam, bored and unsupervised, throughout the town. I'm not saying parents need to be on top of kids at. all. times. But some basic supervision, setting up appropriate play opportunities, etc. won't kill them

That said, I believe the term "play date" should only be used for kids preschool aged and younger. The term itself makes me cringe.

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thank you to everyone who has a problem with the term "playdate" pintrest even has sites about mother/son dates and father /daughter dates. I date my husband, not my kids. I agree that at the preschool age, playtimes are arranged by parents, and if you can trade off, that's great! now that my daughter is 10, the kids ask parents what time works, and then arrange their own get togethers

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We don't do playdates. Our 5 yr old enjoys the time when she is the only kid here and doesn't want other kids over. Our older two ride their bikes to friends houses to see if they can play or come over.

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Meh, I can see both sides.

I'm not understanding why its garbage exactly or why its ruining kids. If you don't like it, don't do it.

I can understand wanting to be there with your children to supervise. I can also understand trusting them enough to let them go play. But the days of letting them ride their bikes or walk to a friends are long gone for me.

I let my son walk down to our neighbors house a a couple of years ago pretty frequently. He was his only friend in our neighborhood. He would call me as soon as he got there and he knew what time to be home. One day, as he was walking home with the said friend, another little boy was riding his bike out in the street. He began picking on my son and he hit him across the face with a bike helmet, cutting my sons face open just below his eye.

Needless to say, I never allowed him to go to a friends house without one of us again.

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Lets say its 1976 in rural .Vermont. Closest playmate lives 5 miles away.

Me: "Mom, I want to have a play date"

Mom: "Fine. Today's date is July 20. Go play. Be home for dinner."

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Every child here has those it seems. In fact, it got REALLY out of hand with them discussing it here (hurt feelings were happening, giant fits when they were being told it wasn't happening today, etc.) so I banned kids and parents from discussing playing at each other's houses here. Best thing I ever did.

Now, the moms send me photos of the kids playing together on my days off ??????????????????????

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My oldest is only 4, but I'm already worrying about when I have to start letting her just "go play" with friends away from me Glad I'm not the only one! There's just so much more to worry about since I was young (and only in my young 30s as well!)

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Ditto.

I'm more of a "Go outside and play but stay in the yard" kind of mom.

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Oh man. My oldest is only 3 but even in my complex there is a boy about 6 months older than him who rides bikes around with some of the older kids with no supervision I love our complex and it is actually really safe but no way would my kid be with out supervision. That being said I was 10 or so before my parents would let me cross the street while riding my bike and I could only go a few blocks in two directions since the block we were on had two busy streets.

I want my kids to have freedom to just say "I'm going to go play" but the same time I want to know my neighborhood and be familiar and have other kids around the age of my kids. If we could stay where we are now(only renting a two bedroom and we need more room soon) I wouldn't mind at all but I doubt we will get so lucky when we buy a house unless it is in this same area.

Times have changed but I still don't want my kids to be overly scheduled and have to pencil in play dates. That defeats being a kid!

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