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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCM "I kept him up really late because I wanted to go out"
permanentvacation 05:20 AM 08-13-2014
"He's really tired and cranky... Have fun!"

Me (well, my thought) "REALLY LADY! If you purposely do something that puts your desire for fun ahead of your child's need for sleep, you need to stay home with your child the next day and pay for your fun night!"
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Shell 05:23 AM 08-13-2014
Agreed! I had one that took their kids to some kind of show (granted it was a kid's show), but they didn't leave until 10 p.m. So when their 2 yr old arrives the next day, she was a disaster. Not fair to child, not fair to daycare provider
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Blackcat31 05:26 AM 08-13-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
"He's really tired and cranky... Have fun!"

Me (well, my thought) "REALLY LADY! If you purposely do something that puts your desire for fun ahead of your child's need for sleep, you need to stay home with your child the next day and pay for your fun night!"
I would have smiled really big and said "No problem DCM but please keep your phone handy because if he gets cranky or unmanageable during the day, I WILL be calling you for pick up"

Then smiled big.

Parents can do whatever they need to in order to make their lives easier and/or more manageable but it goes both ways.

Their actions do NOT have to include fall out on my time.

I have a couple DCM's that are similar. Almost ALL the issues they have with their kid(s) could be easily solved if they would just put the kids' needs ahead of their own.
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CedarCreek 06:39 AM 08-13-2014
Agree with BC!

What the heck was Mom thinking? She couldn't have gotten a babysitter for a few hours?
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nannyde 06:39 AM 08-13-2014
I love it when they say that. I just have the kid take a really long morning nap and athe regular pm nap.

Here mom... he's not tired now. He slept the day away. That worked out great. Are you going out tonight?
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Sugar Magnolia 07:51 AM 08-13-2014
I'm confused. She kept him up late? So she could go out? Does that mean she left the child unattended.while she went out? Child sleeping means she leaves the house?
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CedarCreek 08:10 AM 08-13-2014
I think she took him with her? Maybe not, that's how I read it.
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permanentvacation 08:14 AM 08-13-2014
She wanted to go to the baseball game and took her son with her to see the game.

She has kept him up late many times to take her son (a 2 year old) out with her because she wanted to go out somewhere. The places she goes are places that are appropriate for a child to be, (not bars or anything like that) but they are so late at night that it affects the child tremendously due to lack of sleep. He comes in here at daycare the next day and is unbelievably hateful, screaming, crying, mean to everyone, etc. just completely ruins the daycare day for everyone here.

Then when I tell the family - a different family member picks him up every day- that he has been in trouble, harassed kids, was crying, screaming, etc. throughout the day, they tell the mother that I never have anything nice to say about him. So she told me she doesn't want me to tell them anything negative about the child.

So basically, it's that the mother is going to put her wants ahead of the child's needs and she doesn't want me to tell her or anyone who picks him up that his day was anything other than perfect.
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Naptime yet? 08:19 AM 08-13-2014
I thought the game was cancelled last night because of all the rain?
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Unregistered 08:24 AM 08-13-2014
Yep,I have a single mom here that keeps her little one out until one or two in the morning! The little girl would arrive at 7:30 a.m.,eat breakfast and go back to sleep until 11:30a.m.,I would wake her up,let her play for a bit,eat lunch and she would go back to sleep with the other kids at 1:00p.m. until her mom came and picked her up at 4:30p.m. It started to become a bad habit until I finally told her that she needs to sleep at night not during the day,it was interfering with her development.I told her I understood that she may want to hang out with friends but to still put her to bed wherever she was at around 8:00p.m. I have no problem telling parents how to do their job,sometimes it's the only way the child gets what they need.
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permanentvacation 09:15 AM 08-13-2014
She went to the game the night before last. What 'game', I don't know. I don't watch sports. I don't even know what sports season it is right now. All I know about sports is that my daughter's school is starting soccer - because she just tried out for it. The daycare mom just said they went to 'the game'. I didn't and still don't care what game it was. I just care that she kept him up way too late - AGAIN - so she could enjoy something she wanted to do and then told me in a sarcastic voice to 'have fun' with him because she knew he was extremely tired and hateful. The child was tired and hateful all day yesterday. I was too busy dealing with him to post about it yesterday.

But like I said, it's not just about yesterday. The mom does this to the child - and me - and everyone else at daycare OFTEN. I just can't stand parents who put their wants before their kids needs especially on a regular basis. And I am getting really tired of bearing the blunt of her fun outings.
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permanentvacation 09:20 AM 08-13-2014
Unregistered,

I've told the mother a few times that she needs to let him get proper sleep at night. She just does what she wants, not what she NEEDS to do for the child. The child has slept here almost all day MANY days. I will get in trouble with my supervisor if she comes and sees the child sleeping at the wrong time. Often when he sleeps in the morning, he won't sleep at the normal nap time and crawls all over the floor, harasses the other kids, makes all kinds of noises, etc. I have actually changed nap time and put every one down for morning nap a few times. The mother keeping him up random nights just completely messes up everyone's day here.

But the mother doesn't care or want to hear about it.
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Crazy8 09:27 AM 08-13-2014
I would just respond with "oh good, it will be such a quiet day since I'm sure little Johnny will need to sleep all day".

Ok, I probably wouldn't say that, but I'd want to!
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permanentvacation 09:34 AM 08-13-2014
I've let him sleep all day mainly because I couldn't keep him awake and also because I thought it would keep him up that night so she would realize that she messed his sleep schedule up. But she has NEVER complained about him not sleeping that night after he slept all day here. So I guess he just sleeps all day here and all night that night because he's so tired from being up the night before. I think it really only negatively affects me here at daycare.

But some days he doesn't sleep and is just hateful with everyone. It's just a big mess here at daycare when she keeps him up at night.
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TheGoodLife 09:35 AM 08-13-2014
Does your contract exclude for behavior? I'd let her know it is not OK in a group setting, and if he is not able to participate in regular scheduled activities she will need to pick up. If she knows he cannot handle being up so late- let it fall on her.
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permanentvacation 09:42 AM 08-13-2014
Yes, my contract does have a section about sending the child home for behavioral problems and a section about sending the child home if they are upset for too long.
I almost called the mother yesterday to send him home for him forcefully screaming/crying at me any time I said a word to him, constantly harassing the other children, and other issues. But I am down to just 4 kids and 2 of them are trying to get into the free preschools that start on the 27th. If they leave, I will only have this child and one baby. I am financially afraid to send the child home and take a chance on losing him... although, I know it would be a lot nicer here if he weren't attending my daycare. But I can't afford to take a chance on losing him right now.
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deliberateliterate 09:47 AM 08-13-2014
This is what I don't get: why would she even tell you? Because she doesn't see one thing wrong with what she's doing, and that's the real problem.
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permanentvacation 10:23 AM 08-13-2014
deliberateliterate,

Yep! You hit the nail on the head. She literally tells me how horrible she knows he will be for me because of what she did with him the night before. Then in a sarcastic voice tells me to 'have fun' with him. She might as well say 'I had a blast last night, and your day's gonna be horrible and then laugh.'

One of these days, I will get the courage up to send him home because of his behavior and see how she reacts. One day... after I get more money!
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deliberateliterate 10:30 AM 08-13-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
deliberateliterate,

Yep! You hit the nail on the head. She literally tells me how horrible she knows he will be for me because of what she did with him the night before. Then in a sarcastic voice tells me to 'have fun' with him. She might as well say 'I had a blast last night, and your day's gonna be horrible and then laugh.'

One of these days, I will get the courage up to send him home because of his behavior and see how she reacts. One day... after I get more money!
If it wasn't totally wrong to use a child as a pawn, I'd tell you to keep him up all day, and feed him pixie sticks and melted chocolate 15 minutes before pick up. Open the door, shove him out and mouth "have fun" with a stupid grin on your face through the window as she is chasing him down the street.
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TheGoodLife 10:43 AM 08-13-2014
I understand not wanting the risk of losing the income sorry this mom is treating you like this, hope it gets better soon and you can afford to send home if needed.
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permanentvacation 11:02 AM 08-13-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
If it wasn't totally wrong to use a child as a pawn, I'd tell you to keep him up all day, and feed him pixie sticks and melted chocolate 15 minutes before pick up. Open the door, shove him out and mouth "have fun" with a stupid grin on your face through the window as she is chasing him down the street.
LOL!!! I LOVE that idea!! Too bad I can't really do it!
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permanentvacation 11:06 AM 08-13-2014
The GoodLife,

Thank you.
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midaycare 11:42 AM 08-13-2014
I agree with the others about letting the child sleep all day. If a child needs sleep, they will find a way to get it, even if it means falling asleep at the lunch table.

It's not to be vindictive, the child actually needs the sleep.
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