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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Father's Day For Fatherless Boy (Who Hates His Mom's BF)?
Mary Poppins 03:16 PM 06-12-2012
Well, this is a bit uncomfortable!! My dcb really, really, really (did I mention really?) dislikes his mom's live-in bf. I don't know what to do regarding Father's Day since I also have dcb's little half sister (who is dcm's live-in bf's bio child).
Today I sorta breached the subject with dcb by saying "so, what should we make _________ for Father's Day?" and he said, rather rudely, "He's NOT MY FATHER, I don't have a father, so I don't care what you make for him!".
Ouch.
I don't want to force dcb to make something for this guy but.. I also don't want to ignore dcd since we made really cute gifts from both kids for Mother's Day.
What to dooo???
Today I sorta breached the subject with dcb by saying "so, what should we make _________ for Father's Day?" and he said, rather rudely, "He's NOT MY FATHER, I don't have a father, so I don't care what you make for him!".
Ouch.
I don't want to force dcb to make something for this guy but.. I also don't want to ignore dcd since we made really cute gifts from both kids for Mother's Day.
What to dooo???
youretooloud 03:20 PM 06-12-2012
I'm in the same boat, only I have three out of six kids with no father. The other three have wonderful involved dads. So, I need to do something, but i'm stuck for what to do myself.
Blackcat31 03:28 PM 06-12-2012
Grandpa, Uncle and other significant other in his life or even a craft and/or card for his mom and the "fatherly" shoes she fills for him.
These types of holidays don't always have to be geared toward the bio parent or whatever, just have the kids do it for anyone special they choose.
If you don't make a huge deal of it, neither will they.
These types of holidays don't always have to be geared toward the bio parent or whatever, just have the kids do it for anyone special they choose.
If you don't make a huge deal of it, neither will they.
youretooloud 03:30 PM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Grandpa, Uncle and other significant other in his life or even a craft and/or card for his mom and the "fatherly" shoes she fills for him.
These types of holidays don't always have to be geared toward the bio parent or whatever, just have the kids do it for anyone special they choose.
If you don't make a huge deal of it, neither will they.
Maybe he can make one for you?Grandpa, Uncle and other significant other in his life or even a craft and/or card for his mom and the "fatherly" shoes she fills for him.
These types of holidays don't always have to be geared toward the bio parent or whatever, just have the kids do it for anyone special they choose.
If you don't make a huge deal of it, neither will they.
Blackcat31 03:32 PM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Maybe he can make one for you?
LOL! Although, I would love it! Some of the coolest gifts I have ever gotten have come from DCK's....especially because they all come from the heart. Maybe he can make one for you?
daycare 04:08 PM 06-12-2012
I have one here like that too. I told him that I thought it would be great just to make something and he can decide who he will give it to or he can keep it for himself. Whatever will make him feel good...
Also, do you know the book Have you filled a bucket today? if Not, please look into this children's book for this child. It is one of the best books I think I own.
Also, do you know the book Have you filled a bucket today? if Not, please look into this children's book for this child. It is one of the best books I think I own.
Crystal 05:04 PM 06-12-2012
I would respect his wishes and drop it. If he feels that strongly, I am sure mom's bf knows it already. A gift from the child would be meaningless. And, the child is right, he is not his father.
FTR, THIS is (one reason) why I don't do "gifts" from the children for the parents.
FTR, THIS is (one reason) why I don't do "gifts" from the children for the parents.
permanentvacation 08:39 PM 06-12-2012
You already asked the boy what he wanted to make for the 'father figure' in his house. He told you he does not want to make anything for the mom's boyfriend and that as far as he's concerned, he has no father at all. I'd leave it alone. Let the other kids make something and offer to let him make something for whoever he wants to give it to or just let him play with the toys or do something else while the other kids are making their father's day gifts. If you want to, you can tell the parents that night that the boy didn't want to make anything during arts and crafts time today. Or you can just not say anything to them. I'm sure they know how the boy feels about the mom's boyfriend.
I have been thinking lately that I might stop celebrating any and all holidays with the daycare children. Too many of them have family issues that make Mother's Day and Father's Day difficult. Too many have issues with their grandparents to celebrate grandparent's day. Too many of them are not Christian which makes Easter and Christmas difficult. Then there's the ones that are very Christian and do not want their child celebrating Halloween. So, I am really considering simply not celebrating any holidays anymore.
I have been thinking lately that I might stop celebrating any and all holidays with the daycare children. Too many of them have family issues that make Mother's Day and Father's Day difficult. Too many have issues with their grandparents to celebrate grandparent's day. Too many of them are not Christian which makes Easter and Christmas difficult. Then there's the ones that are very Christian and do not want their child celebrating Halloween. So, I am really considering simply not celebrating any holidays anymore.
Crystal 09:13 PM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
You already asked the boy what he wanted to make for the 'father figure' in his house. He told you he does not want to make anything for the mom's boyfriend and that as far as he's concerned, he has no father at all. I'd leave it alone. Let the other kids make something and offer to let him make something for whoever he wants to give it to or just let him play with the toys or do something else while the other kids are making their father's day gifts. If you want to, you can tell the parents that night that the boy didn't want to make anything during arts and crafts time today. Or you can just not say anything to them. I'm sure they know how the boy feels about the mom's boyfriend.
I have been thinking lately that I might stop celebrating any and all holidays with the daycare children. Too many of them have family issues that make Mother's Day and Father's Day difficult. Too many have issues with their grandparents to celebrate grandparent's day. Too many of them are not Christian which makes Easter and Christmas difficult. Then there's the ones that are very Christian and do not want their child celebrating Halloween. So, I am really considering simply not celebrating any holidays anymore.
YUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!You already asked the boy what he wanted to make for the 'father figure' in his house. He told you he does not want to make anything for the mom's boyfriend and that as far as he's concerned, he has no father at all. I'd leave it alone. Let the other kids make something and offer to let him make something for whoever he wants to give it to or just let him play with the toys or do something else while the other kids are making their father's day gifts. If you want to, you can tell the parents that night that the boy didn't want to make anything during arts and crafts time today. Or you can just not say anything to them. I'm sure they know how the boy feels about the mom's boyfriend.
I have been thinking lately that I might stop celebrating any and all holidays with the daycare children. Too many of them have family issues that make Mother's Day and Father's Day difficult. Too many have issues with their grandparents to celebrate grandparent's day. Too many of them are not Christian which makes Easter and Christmas difficult. Then there's the ones that are very Christian and do not want their child celebrating Halloween. So, I am really considering simply not celebrating any holidays anymore.
It's DIVERSITY!!!!!! We have families from all different walks of life coming into our homes on a daily basis.....each family with their own morals and values...which may not always mesh with our own............
Celebrate your own family holidays, routines and rituals within your family, welcome families to share their's and GROW from those experiences.I implore you to quit doing the "obligatory" daycare provider thing and do what is right for the child and the family.....INCLUDING your own family!!!!~
I Promise you it will simplify your life as DCP!!!!
Mary Poppins 08:06 AM 06-13-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
YUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!
It's DIVERSITY!!!!!! We have families from all different walks of life coming into our homes on a daily basis.....each family with their own morals and values...which may not always mesh with our own............
Celebrate your own family holidays, routines and rituals within your family, welcome families to share their's and GROW from those experiences.I implore you to quit doing the "obligatory" daycare provider thing and do what is right for the child and the family.....INCLUDING your own family!!!!~
I Promise you it will simplify your life as DCP!!!!
YUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!
It's DIVERSITY!!!!!! We have families from all different walks of life coming into our homes on a daily basis.....each family with their own morals and values...which may not always mesh with our own............
Celebrate your own family holidays, routines and rituals within your family, welcome families to share their's and GROW from those experiences.I implore you to quit doing the "obligatory" daycare provider thing and do what is right for the child and the family.....INCLUDING your own family!!!!~
I Promise you it will simplify your life as DCP!!!!
This is the best advice. Thank you!!
Heidi 02:01 PM 06-13-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
YUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!
It's DIVERSITY!!!!!! We have families from all different walks of life coming into our homes on a daily basis.....each family with their own morals and values...which may not always mesh with our own............
Celebrate your own family holidays, routines and rituals within your family, welcome families to share their's and GROW from those experiences.I implore you to quit doing the "obligatory" daycare provider thing and do what is right for the child and the family.....INCLUDING your own family!!!!~
I Promise you it will simplify your life as DCP!!!!
Very nicely put!YUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!
It's DIVERSITY!!!!!! We have families from all different walks of life coming into our homes on a daily basis.....each family with their own morals and values...which may not always mesh with our own............
Celebrate your own family holidays, routines and rituals within your family, welcome families to share their's and GROW from those experiences.I implore you to quit doing the "obligatory" daycare provider thing and do what is right for the child and the family.....INCLUDING your own family!!!!~
I Promise you it will simplify your life as DCP!!!!
In my current group, we are very monochramatic-caucasian, Christian (at least officially), and 2 opposite gender parents (one single mom, but Gpa is very involved)
My former group was in Madison, and was very diverse. Different races & ethnicities, various family combinations; 2 parent, 1 parent, same gender parents, different religions, no religions, salsa- band-practicing-in-the-garage neighbors, spansih and Hmong neigbors (cool wedding parade!).
I do miss that, but it is what it is. I do a few holidays, but I try to keep it fairly generic, and if it caused an issue, would gladly drop it for a child or their family's sake. Honestly, as sweet as those things are, I have a box full of home-made ornaments, cards, and pictures from my 4 kids, and don't really know what to do with them all.