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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Am I Being Fair To Term A Child With Separation Anxiety?
Unregistered 07:11 AM 07-15-2014
In 6 years, I've had children with various forms of separation anxiety, but I recently enrolled a child PT with a pretty bad case of it. Normally I would be willing to work with the child, but after speaking with the previous provider, I don't think that's the best idea. The previous provider said the child had bad SA the whole year she watched him, and felt he needed more consistency in his schedule and a smaller group. 2 days a week he is in daycare, the other 3 days he is with grandma while DCPs work. This provider also had 5 in her crew, while I run a full house with 8. I really wish I would have contacted the provider prior to enrolling. I'm going to give it my best with this DCK, but if there is no improvement after 6 weeks, I've decided to term them. I think DCK would do better in a smaller program, or attending a program full time. I am hoping for a turnaround with this child, because he really is a sweetie, but after 3 weeks, it's not looking so good :/
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Leigh 07:17 AM 07-15-2014
Look at it this way: Are you being fair to the other 7 children if you keep this child?

Is SA child causing stress for the other kids? Is this child taking your attention away from the other kids or impacting the care you are able to give them in other ways? Is it causing YOU unnecessary stress? If the answer to any of these is yes, the thing to do is term.

While I understand that you feel the need to "help" this child, it probably won't happen, and it's not your problem to deal with. Your issue is making your group happy and safe.
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Play Care 09:24 AM 07-15-2014
Honestly it's not our job to fix every problem. I had to term a family because if huge SA issues. Three kids crying for hours every day... And then my other kids started behaving in similar fashion... In your case the child will never acclimate because every day he has a new situation. In time it will become habit so even when he reasonably should be over it, he will still do it just because...
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daycarediva 10:15 AM 07-15-2014
I would speak with the parents. Do you have room in ratio to enroll him FT for a trial to see if it helps? If they aren't willing to enroll FT (PT is HARD on some kids, and I find it worse when grandma is the other provider.) ONLY then would I give it two more weeks/probation and term if there isn't improvement..
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deliberateliterate 10:17 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would speak with the parents. Do you have room in ratio to enroll him FT for a trial to see if it helps? If they aren't willing to enroll FT (PT is HARD on some kids, and I find it worse when grandma is the other provider.) ONLY then would I give it two more weeks/probation and term if there isn't improvement..
This. Unless there is a reason that they are bringing him to gma (besides just to save some money), I think it's unfair to their child to put him through this. If it's obvious there are SA issues, they need to make some changes. If gma doesn't want him full time, then decrease his days there to once a week...and make sure she is following the exact same schedule as you.
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Unregistered 10:23 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
This. Unless there is a reason that they are bringing him to gma (besides just to save some money), I think it's unfair to their child to put him through this. If it's obvious there are SA issues, they need to make some changes. If gma doesn't want him full time, then decrease his days there to once a week...and make sure she is following the exact same schedule as you.
I could enroll him FT, and would be more willing to work with the SA if he were here more frequently, but that isn't an option for this family. Grandma wants her time with the grandchild, and the parents like not having to pay for full time care. Knowing that it was an issue for the previous provider for a year, I'm not really holding out too much hope that it will get better. I certainly won't be giving it a year.
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My3cents 10:26 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
In 6 years, I've had children with various forms of separation anxiety, but I recently enrolled a child PT with a pretty bad case of it. Normally I would be willing to work with the child, but after speaking with the previous provider, I don't think that's the best idea. The previous provider said the child had bad SA the whole year she watched him, and felt he needed more consistency in his schedule and a smaller group. 2 days a week he is in daycare, the other 3 days he is with grandma while DCPs work. This provider also had 5 in her crew, while I run a full house with 8. I really wish I would have contacted the provider prior to enrolling. I'm going to give it my best with this DCK, but if there is no improvement after 6 weeks, I've decided to term them. I think DCK would do better in a smaller program, or attending a program full time. I am hoping for a turnaround with this child, because he really is a sweetie, but after 3 weeks, it's not looking so good :/
Two week trial period is usually what I do.

SA- how so? At drop off? All day long? Group care is much different then one on one- esp when Grandma or another relative is caring for child- hard to compete with Grannie who thinks little John is the center of the universe even more so then Mom and Dad.
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My3cents 10:27 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would speak with the parents. Do you have room in ratio to enroll him FT for a trial to see if it helps? If they aren't willing to enroll FT (PT is HARD on some kids, and I find it worse when grandma is the other provider.) ONLY then would I give it two more weeks/probation and term if there isn't improvement..

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deliberateliterate 10:27 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I could enroll him FT, and would be more willing to work with the SA if he were here more frequently, but that isn't an option for this family. Grandma wants her time with the grandchild, and the parents like not having to pay for full time care. Knowing that it was an issue for the previous provider for a year, I'm not really holding out too much hope that it will get better. I certainly won't be giving it a year.
Then they created and perpetuated the issue just to save a few bucks. If they truly couldn't afford ft fees, and gma stepped up, that's another thing, and I'd be more willing to work with them. But because they want more spending money...no way. Poor kid - and that's on them, NOT you!
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My3cents 10:30 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
This. Unless there is a reason that they are bringing him to gma (besides just to save some money), I think it's unfair to their child to put him through this. If it's obvious there are SA issues, they need to make some changes. If gma doesn't want him full time, then decrease his days there to once a week...and make sure she is following the exact same schedule as you.



to the bold above.........that is not going to happen.......its Grandma. Most Grandmas just want bragging rights and to spoil the child and send him home. To ask her to follow your schedule most likely will not happen. I would ask that G would either be on a Monday or Friday, at least that would give you 4 straight days to have him.
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Play Care 10:31 AM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I could enroll him FT, and would be more willing to work with the SA if he were here more frequently, ***but that isn't an option for this family. Grandma wants her time with the grandchild, and the parents like not having to pay for full time care.*** Knowing that it was an issue for the previous provider for a year, I'm not really holding out too much hope that it will get better. I certainly won't be giving it a year.
Yup, back to what I said originally. It won't get better.
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Heidi 01:39 PM 07-15-2014
Would they consider FT for 2 or 3 weeks? Once he gets acclimated, you could go back to plenty of GMA time, but he needs consistency for a few weeks to get in the groove.

At least 4 days, like M/T/Th/F might help.

I understand they don't want to do this permanently, but maybe the risk of loosing another dcp would make them consider it temporarily.
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