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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Dad Showering With 3 Year Old DCG
SSWonders 05:10 AM 01-24-2014
Concern or not? Thoughts?
mountainside13 05:32 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by SSWonders:
Concern or not? Thoughts?
That is a little weird! I would feel uncomfortable, I only showered with my children when they were infantsConcern or not? Thoughts?
NoMoreJuice! 05:34 AM 01-24-2014
Only a concern if dcg starts acting inappropriately at dc....I caught a 4 year old dcg telling another dcg about how she watches daddy wash his pee pee...had an uncomfortable chat with both sets of parents that evening!
Play Care 05:37 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by SSWonders:
Concern or not? Thoughts?
On one hand, some families are way more relaxed about their bodies. I am not. IIRC, the "official" recommendation is that children showering/bathing with adults should stop once the child hits preschool age - and a 3 yo is a preschooler.Concern or not? Thoughts?
Maria2013 05:42 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
Only a concern if dcg starts acting inappropriately at dc....
Only a concern if dcg starts acting inappropriately at dc....
I doubt you know about it cause DCD told you so if I were you, I would at the very least alert the parents that DCG is starting to talk about it, and it is raising concerns
Heidi 05:48 AM 01-24-2014
From a European perspective...no big deal. From an American perspective, maybe not.
I think there was a movie with Susan Sarandon called "The Good Mother" based on the premise. Mom has a wonderful, kind, hot French SO, who doesn't even think when her preschooler takes a bath with him. Until the EX finds out, and then there's a lengthy court battle.
Nope..just checked, and it's that the LO crawled in bed with them, not the tub. Liam Neeson was the hot guy..
I think there was a movie with Susan Sarandon called "The Good Mother" based on the premise. Mom has a wonderful, kind, hot French SO, who doesn't even think when her preschooler takes a bath with him. Until the EX finds out, and then there's a lengthy court battle.
Nope..just checked, and it's that the LO crawled in bed with them, not the tub. Liam Neeson was the hot guy..
originalkat 05:53 AM 01-24-2014
No, this is not a concern IMO. Every family has a different set of family norms and comfort-ability with the human body (being naked in front of one another). Do you close the door when you go to the bathroom or leave it open? Do you get dressed in front of each other? At what age or gender are these things appropriate or inappropriate? There is not a right or wrong answer to these questions. IMO there is a continuum of "normal" and you may be on one end while another family is on the opposite... but both are normal and healthy for that particular family. Every family decides for themselves what is appropriate in their own home.
NeedaVaca 05:59 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
From a European perspective...no big deal. From an American perspective, maybe not.
I think there was a movie with Susan Sarandon called "The Good Mother" based on the premise. Mom has a wonderful, kind, hot French SO, who doesn't even think when her preschooler takes a bath with him. Until the EX finds out, and then there's a lengthy court battle.
Nope..just checked, and it's that the LO crawled in bed with them, not the tub. Liam Neeson was the hot guy..
I think in that movie what happened it the LO asked to touch the boyfriends "private part", he consented because of his beliefs/lifestyle (it wasn't intended to be sexual) and that's what started the court battle.From a European perspective...no big deal. From an American perspective, maybe not.
I think there was a movie with Susan Sarandon called "The Good Mother" based on the premise. Mom has a wonderful, kind, hot French SO, who doesn't even think when her preschooler takes a bath with him. Until the EX finds out, and then there's a lengthy court battle.
Nope..just checked, and it's that the LO crawled in bed with them, not the tub. Liam Neeson was the hot guy..
missy 06:18 AM 01-24-2014
Though it may seem uncomfortable for many of us, I think it's perfectly fine at that age. Hopefully the father has enough sense not to keep it up when she gets older
Unregistered 06:19 AM 01-24-2014
Honestly would not concern me at all. I grew up in a pretty open family though, and wish to be so with my children. I never gave any thought to it growing up, but am well aware now that it is typically considered not acceptable. Just different comfort levels with nakedness.
MarinaVanessa 06:41 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by originalkat:
No, this is not a concern IMO. Every family has a different set of family norms and comfort-ability with the human body (being naked in front of one another). Do you close the door when you go to the bathroom or leave it open? Do you get dressed in front of each other? At what age or gender are these things appropriate or inappropriate? There is not a right or wrong answer to these questions. IMO there is a continuum of "normal" and you may be on one end while another family is on the opposite... but both are normal and healthy for that particular family. Every family decides for themselves what is appropriate in their own home.
I still shower with my 3yo DSNo, this is not a concern IMO. Every family has a different set of family norms and comfort-ability with the human body (being naked in front of one another). Do you close the door when you go to the bathroom or leave it open? Do you get dressed in front of each other? At what age or gender are these things appropriate or inappropriate? There is not a right or wrong answer to these questions. IMO there is a continuum of "normal" and you may be on one end while another family is on the opposite... but both are normal and healthy for that particular family. Every family decides for themselves what is appropriate in their own home.
craftymissbeth 06:48 AM 01-24-2014
Not a big deal. I showered with my son until he was about that age and every so often my dh showers with him and he's 7 now. They do it when ds is particularly dirty so dh can scrub him really well... plus they stay in there FOREVER playing with toys 
We're not too worried usually about him seeing us naked. In fact, dh and ds usually sit around in the evenings completely naked. I guess they just feel comfortable. I like to be clothed, but if ds happens to walk in while I'm getting out of the shower I just ask him for some privacy.
We're not too worried usually about him seeing us naked. In fact, dh and ds usually sit around in the evenings completely naked. I guess they just feel comfortable. I like to be clothed, but if ds happens to walk in while I'm getting out of the shower I just ask him for some privacy.
spinnymarie 07:00 AM 01-24-2014
IMHO, if the dck is talking about it like it's normal, then it is normal for them. If the dck was nervous to talk about it, or had been told not to, or was doing something else unusual, then it would be a big issue. But you could probably take your cues from the child's behavior, as others have said, bc if SHE doesn't think it's a big deal, then it isn't.
Kaddidle Care 07:13 AM 01-24-2014
He'll stop when she grabs him or starts asking questions about "where's mine?".
sharlan 07:18 AM 01-24-2014
No, I don't believe it's a concern.
daycare 07:26 AM 01-24-2014
flame me if you want, My 6 year old son will pop in my showers from time to time. We don't have issues with it.
It may be outside the comfort box for some, but is normal for others.
how did you find this information out?
It may be outside the comfort box for some, but is normal for others.
how did you find this information out?
cara041083 07:31 AM 01-24-2014
In my house we have 1 bathroom. Its my husband, me, my son (age 8) and we have 3 girls. Aged 4,1 and 3 weeks. All of my kids have showered with him, or myself. We don't let them shower with us past the age where they started realizing they are different then the opposite sex parent or with each other (meaning my son and daughter). I want to say my oldest daughter was around age 3 when she stopped showering with my husband or myself. Same with my son. In our house we just don't have the means to all have a shower by our self.
jenboo 07:31 AM 01-24-2014
Maybe tell the parents that DCG is starting to talk about her showers with DCD and ask if they can have a talk with her about what to share with friends and what to talk about at home???
I had a DCG once who was 4 and told me her daddy's pee pee hit her on the head in the shower...talk about awkward.
I had a DCG once who was 4 and told me her daddy's pee pee hit her on the head in the shower...talk about awkward.
Evansmom 08:00 AM 01-24-2014
I'm with daycare, our 6 yo DS hops in the shower with either I or DH if he wants to or we need to save time. No biggie at all, he's not interested in our bodies in a sexual way at all. In fact, it's nothing but a normal occurrence to him.
I've read that the time for more modesty with children is when they initiate it and start asking for it.
I've read that the time for more modesty with children is when they initiate it and start asking for it.
SilverSabre25 08:21 AM 01-24-2014
The generally accepted position is that things like that are fine as long as it is mutually comfortable. My DD showered with DH occasionally until she was around 5.5--also the age she started expressing a desire to shower alone instead of bathing with her 2 yo brother. At 3? Daddy showers or Mommy showers were her favorite thing.
SSWonders 08:37 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
flame me if you want, My 6 year old son will pop in my showers from time to time. We don't have issues with it.
It may be outside the comfort box for some, but is normal for others.
how did you find this information out?
The father told me at drop off.flame me if you want, My 6 year old son will pop in my showers from time to time. We don't have issues with it.
It may be outside the comfort box for some, but is normal for others.
how did you find this information out?
JenNJ 09:05 AM 01-24-2014
My 5 year old dd still asks to take bubble baths with me. My 6 year old ds still occasionally showers with Dh. It's a family decision. Someone mentioned that it's about the level of comfort for both family members. What works for some families, won't for others.
Lucy 09:06 AM 01-24-2014
I'm kind of a live and let live person, so that's where my perspective comes from.
While it isn't something I'd do ... like EVER ... I wouldn't give it a 2nd thought about someone else. I'd think it was weird, for sure, but whatever they want to do is their own deal.
Now, if the kid started hyper-focusing on male anatomy issues, or sexuality in general, that's when I'd have problems with it. Otherwise, meh... whatever...
While it isn't something I'd do ... like EVER ... I wouldn't give it a 2nd thought about someone else. I'd think it was weird, for sure, but whatever they want to do is their own deal.
Now, if the kid started hyper-focusing on male anatomy issues, or sexuality in general, that's when I'd have problems with it. Otherwise, meh... whatever...
BrooklynM 09:06 AM 01-24-2014
No big deal at all. It's perfectly normal!
Blackcat31 09:17 AM 01-24-2014
Different strokes for different folks.
Too many variables and other factors to view it as weird or taboo.
If the child was 8 or 9, I might have said something but 3 is pretty young.
Too many variables and other factors to view it as weird or taboo.
If the child was 8 or 9, I might have said something but 3 is pretty young.
MotherNature 09:22 AM 01-24-2014
nope- no big deal. I take baths/ showers with my 3 y/o son. Sometimes my husband does, & sometimes we'll all take a shower together. The kid's 3, not 9. Nothing weird there.
Maria2013 09:36 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by jenboo:
Maybe tell the parents that DCG is starting to talk about her showers with DCD and ask if they can have a talk with her about what to share with friends and what to talk about at home???
I had a DCG once who was 4 and told me her daddy's pee pee hit her on the head in the shower...talk about awkward.
that was my point exactlyMaybe tell the parents that DCG is starting to talk about her showers with DCD and ask if they can have a talk with her about what to share with friends and what to talk about at home???
I had a DCG once who was 4 and told me her daddy's pee pee hit her on the head in the shower...talk about awkward.
...nothing wrong with showering with your child, but you never know how other kids might take (report to their parents) what your kid says
lizzardb85 07:36 PM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by originalkat:
No, this is not a concern IMO. Every family has a different set of family norms and comfort-ability with the human body (being naked in front of one another). Do you close the door when you go to the bathroom or leave it open? Do you get dressed in front of each other? At what age or gender are these things appropriate or inappropriate? There is not a right or wrong answer to these questions. IMO there is a continuum of "normal" and you may be on one end while another family is on the opposite... but both are normal and healthy for that particular family. Every family decides for themselves what is appropriate in their own home.
No, this is not a concern IMO. Every family has a different set of family norms and comfort-ability with the human body (being naked in front of one another). Do you close the door when you go to the bathroom or leave it open? Do you get dressed in front of each other? At what age or gender are these things appropriate or inappropriate? There is not a right or wrong answer to these questions. IMO there is a continuum of "normal" and you may be on one end while another family is on the opposite... but both are normal and healthy for that particular family. Every family decides for themselves what is appropriate in their own home.
TwinKristi 08:18 PM 01-24-2014
I agree, I wouldn't be concerned unless she was complaining about it or something. My dh & I shower with our 2yr old. Dh more than myself but I've hopped in. Dh has showered with him since he was a newborn. We had a water ring sling and it was great for showers! Then we used a little Rubbermaid box for to sit in like a mini bath while dh showers. LOL