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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child Disrespecting Their Parent
CountryRoads 09:39 AM 12-04-2018
Do you step in and say something to a child who is misbehaving with their parent?
For example, I have a 2.5 year old dcb who sometimes hits his mom when she picks him up. She laughs about it and just continues on, but I have a hard time not saying something! Like "hey dcb, don't hit your mom! She does alot for you!"
He also runs from her when it's time for him to go. And when she tells him to put away a toy he has in his hand, he throws it on the floor and she doesn't make him put it away.
This child is a total sweetheart with me, it makes me cringe to see him hit and disrespect his mom with no consequences. But, I am not his mom and feel like I would be out of line.
Do you say something when you see that behavior?
For example, I have a 2.5 year old dcb who sometimes hits his mom when she picks him up. She laughs about it and just continues on, but I have a hard time not saying something! Like "hey dcb, don't hit your mom! She does alot for you!"
He also runs from her when it's time for him to go. And when she tells him to put away a toy he has in his hand, he throws it on the floor and she doesn't make him put it away.
This child is a total sweetheart with me, it makes me cringe to see him hit and disrespect his mom with no consequences. But, I am not his mom and feel like I would be out of line.
Do you say something when you see that behavior?
hwichlaz 09:43 AM 12-04-2018
I am 100% in charge in my facility. So until they walk out the door I maintain control. You hit you sit, mom waits.
Gemma 09:45 AM 12-04-2018
Yes I would say something because it is written clearly in my contract I do not tolerate this kind of behavior in my home Pick up and drop off have to be quick for this very reason parents are unable to stand up to their kids it makes me crazy!
BrynleeJean 09:56 AM 12-04-2018
This is interesting to me because I had no problem doing this in my childcare rooms I ran at the centers I worked at. Probably because there was this distance in the relationship between me and the parents, I didnt care what they though of me, my job was those children and that class room (ahh the days)
so now that I have this relationship with the parents where they talk to me ,as they would with the director when they walked into a center, just chatting about their day like they are friends (a thing I also never dealt with until home childcare), I don't feel as confutable disciplining their children in front of them
A fear of loosing their business?
A fear of the award conversations to come from me disciplining them in front of them?
Its pretty obvious it should be done. Its chaos when a child comes in a behaves like they are playing this mental game with you like nanny nanny boo boo my mom is here and you can't tell me what to do anymore. kwim
so now that I have this relationship with the parents where they talk to me ,as they would with the director when they walked into a center, just chatting about their day like they are friends (a thing I also never dealt with until home childcare), I don't feel as confutable disciplining their children in front of them
A fear of loosing their business?
A fear of the award conversations to come from me disciplining them in front of them?
Its pretty obvious it should be done. Its chaos when a child comes in a behaves like they are playing this mental game with you like nanny nanny boo boo my mom is here and you can't tell me what to do anymore. kwim
CountryRoads 10:04 AM 12-04-2018
Originally Posted by BrynleeJean:
This is interesting to me because I had no problem doing this in my childcare rooms I ran at the centers I worked at. Probably because there was this distance in the relationship between me and the parents, I didnt care what they though of me, my job was those children and that class room (ahh the days)
so now that I have this relationship with the parents where they talk to me ,as they would with the director when they walked into a center, just chatting about their day like they are friends (a thing I also never dealt with until home childcare), I don't feel as confutable disciplining their children in front of them
A fear of loosing their business?
A fear of the award conversations to come from me disciplining them in front of them?
Its pretty obvious it should be done. Its chaos when a child comes in a behaves like they are playing this mental game with you like nanny nanny boo boo my mom is here and you can't tell me what to do anymore. kwim
That's true! I didn't think of it like the child is playing games. I guess I'm afraid of embarrassing the parent or making them feel belittled. BUT...it's obviously not okay to hit. I have one dcm who gets on her 20 month old every time he does something naughty and I just love it! It's nice to see a parent not tolerate bad behavior!This is interesting to me because I had no problem doing this in my childcare rooms I ran at the centers I worked at. Probably because there was this distance in the relationship between me and the parents, I didnt care what they though of me, my job was those children and that class room (ahh the days)
so now that I have this relationship with the parents where they talk to me ,as they would with the director when they walked into a center, just chatting about their day like they are friends (a thing I also never dealt with until home childcare), I don't feel as confutable disciplining their children in front of them
A fear of loosing their business?
A fear of the award conversations to come from me disciplining them in front of them?
Its pretty obvious it should be done. Its chaos when a child comes in a behaves like they are playing this mental game with you like nanny nanny boo boo my mom is here and you can't tell me what to do anymore. kwim
Blackcat31 10:14 AM 12-04-2018
Nope. When a parent is present I fully expect them to parent their child. I m officially off duty in that sense when the parent shows up.
I make sure the parents know this expectation up front.
If the child is old enough to understand we will discuss their bad/unwanted behavior the next day and in some cases have a consequence but other than telling a parent "It's time to go" I do not intervene.
The only time the 'My house=my rules' concept applies is when I am the only adult present. To me this is a very important step in teaching kids the hierarchy of authority.
I make sure the parents know this expectation up front.
If the child is old enough to understand we will discuss their bad/unwanted behavior the next day and in some cases have a consequence but other than telling a parent "It's time to go" I do not intervene.
The only time the 'My house=my rules' concept applies is when I am the only adult present. To me this is a very important step in teaching kids the hierarchy of authority.
trytobearunner34 11:10 AM 12-04-2018
I am the caregiver of the child when the parent is not present. When the parent is present I feel s/he is responsible for their child.
I would only intervene if they child hit or in some other way disrespected another child while the parent was present.
I would only intervene if they child hit or in some other way disrespected another child while the parent was present.