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Old 08-24-2016, 09:47 AM
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Luke25 Luke25 is offline
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Default Biters

Anyone have advice on what to do about a biter? He's 18 months old.
I pull him alway and say "no bite" "biting hurts" and give the other child lots of attention.
I also try to stop it before situations escalate but sometimes it just happens so fast!
He's bitten twice today (once my child and once another) and I'm getting very frustrated. It terrible having to explain to the other parent. The other kids are mine and his brother so she is the only one I have to actually explain.
He had gotten better but recently has started again.
He also grabs on to the other kids and tackles them. He will actually latch his feet together when I try to stop him or pull him off.
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Old 08-24-2016, 10:41 AM
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He should become your shadow for awhile, and not have the opportunity to bite anyone. If you can't be right by his side at any time, he could go in a pack n play with toys during that time.
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Old 08-24-2016, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Rockgirl View Post
He should become your shadow for awhile, and not have the opportunity to bite anyone. If you can't be right by his side at any time, he could go in a pack n play with toys during that time.
Yes I've actually done this before. He sits in there and screams and tries to climb out. I'll try it again though. Guess it's better than him biting everyone!!
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Old 08-24-2016, 11:03 AM
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Pay close attention to what is triggering this behavior. Is it close to mealtimes, is he tired, stressed, anxious?

Teething could also be an issue, give him something acceptable to bite on when you notice him try to bite. I know he's young but show him what is acceptable to bite, food, a mouthing toy, etc. Normally, this type of behavior is not aggression.

And I agree with Rockgirl, keep the biter close or choose a pack and play if you are unable to be so close, like needing a bathroom break or preparing meals.
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Old 08-24-2016, 11:06 AM
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I have the same problem with dcg same age! I recently starting separating her from the other kids in her own area for most of the day. I will let one older kid at a time play in her area with her and it seems to be helping (my playroom is in the "living room" and i gate it off and she plays in the dining room with her toys so i can stay with her but still be able to supervise the playroom). I think being around all the commotion and stimulation from the older kids and all the toys is too stressful to her. She is super smart but still doesn't have the communication skills to be able to tell the older kids they are too close to her, too noisy, in her way, etc. I also make sure to remind the older kids that she is little, needs her space, and everyone needs to keep their hands to themselves (shes my only little one and has been with us since she was very little so the older kids think of her as THEIR baby too and like to give her lots of love and hugs...sometimes too much! Lol) Good luck!
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Old 08-24-2016, 11:37 AM
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No fix will work immediately. At his age, the brain is developing so quickly. You change your behavior and the environment, and a while later the child's behavior changes, and it's nice to think it was because of your efforts.

I have one who bit for two weeks, then spat for two weeks, then pulled hair for two weeks, and has now moved on to stomach jabbing and eye gouging. It's not in response to a particular thing or at a particular time; this kid just has a single tool in his communication toolkit and he uses it for everything. I'm being consistent and proactive, but when the jabbing started I admit I'd rather just be on vacation. I went straight from a high-pressure office job to day care, and it occurs to me that it's been well over a year since I had a week off.

Of course, if I spent a week in a mountain cabin, I'd just come home to find he's stopped jabbing and started doing something worse. Is there something worse than eye gouging?
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Old 08-24-2016, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaycareDays126 View Post
I have the same problem with dcg same age! I recently starting separating her from the other kids in her own area for most of the day. I will let one older kid at a time play in her area with her and it seems to be helping (my playroom is in the "living room" and i gate it off and she plays in the dining room with her toys so i can stay with her but still be able to supervise the playroom). I think being around all the commotion and stimulation from the older kids and all the toys is too stressful to her. She is super smart but still doesn't have the communication skills to be able to tell the older kids they are too close to her, too noisy, in her way, etc. I also make sure to remind the older kids that she is little, needs her space, and everyone needs to keep their hands to themselves (shes my only little one and has been with us since she was very little so the older kids think of her as THEIR baby too and like to give her lots of love and hugs...sometimes too much! Lol) Good luck!
Yes I definitely think this little one gets overwhelmed with all the kids and toys. He gets very out of sorts a lot of the time and doesn't have any real communication skills. I usually try and stagger their naps a little so that there is less time they have to be all together. They alsohave "break times" if I feel it is too much for them. I'll put a couple in pack and plays with books and toys and have a couple stay with me and then switch. And going outside helps a lot too. Hopefully with time and consistency it will stop!
It's nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with this! Haha
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Old 08-24-2016, 12:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestle View Post
No fix will work immediately. At his age, the brain is developing so quickly. You change your behavior and the environment, and a while later the child's behavior changes, and it's nice to think it was because of your efforts.

I have one who bit for two weeks, then spat for two weeks, then pulled hair for two weeks, and has now moved on to stomach jabbing and eye gouging. It's not in response to a particular thing or at a particular time; this kid just has a single tool in his communication toolkit and he uses it for everything. I'm being consistent and proactive, but when the jabbing started I admit I'd rather just be on vacation. I went straight from a high-pressure office job to day care, and it occurs to me that it's been well over a year since I had a week off.

Of course, if I spent a week in a mountain cabin, I'd just come home to find he's stopped jabbing and started doing something worse. Is there something worse than eye gouging?
Oh my! Eye gouging would be a tough one!
Yes it is amazing how much they change in such a short amount of time. I know this will pass but it definitely can't come soon enough! Luckily I do have very understand and laid back parents. I'm not in danger of losing business but it definitely stressful!
You should definitely take some time off!! I have to have a couple of days off here and there to keep my sanity. Love all my kids but this is definitely a draining job!
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