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Old 10-21-2019, 11:10 AM
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I'm in a difficult situation with a dck3. This child is a ward of the state, but has been placed with an elderly relative- who told me that she only needs care 25 hours a week, but since the state is paying for it, she's going to send her full time.

This is the most exhausting child I have ever encountered- every day is a constant struggle with sharing, it's almost like this child has never learned how to play, if someone else is playing with something, dck will take it by whatever force necessary. I spend so much time redirecting dck to another toy to play with, and returning toys to children who have had them taken away from them. Language is another issue with this child. Their favorite word is the F word.

Well, last week, elderly relative drops off dck and says, "Sorry we are late, dck had a big poop. We had a little talk and I told dck to wait and do that at your house." I didn't even know how to respond to that.. who says that?! So dck comes in and eats breakfast, and after breakfast, I smell something. I tell dck to come get their diaper changed and sure enough, diarrhea. Out the diaper and all over their pants. So I call elderly relative and ask if dck had diarrhea this morning. She swears up and down that it was normal, and not loose at all. Then asks if she has diarrhea now and I tell her yes. She asks if she needs to come get her and I say yes. It took her 2 hours 10 minutes from the time that phone call was made to come pick up dck.

Then this morning, dck comes in and sits at the table for breakfast. (elderly relative never comes in because she can't get up the steps) I greet her as I am tending to another child who just came in and tell her to start eating her breakfast. Once everything calms down, I notice that dck has thick goop on her eyes. Like absolutely pink eye, no doubt. Another parent even came in and saw it and said, "Oh my, why are they here with pink eye?!" So I call elderly relative and she says oh I just thought her eyes were like that from the cold she has had.

Don't get me wrong, I feel horrible for wanting to term this child, as I know that a lot of their issues is because of what they have been through. But, that being said, I don't feel that this is the best place for them right now.

I think something along the lines of I think dck would benefit greatly in a one on one setting, and that would also probably be beneficial with your schedule, as they may be willing to keep dck when they are sick...
I don't know. And, I was also informed today that the elderly relative hasn't turned in the paperwork for me to be paid yet either. I filled out my portion 2 weeks ago, but she hasn't turned it in yet.
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Old 10-21-2019, 11:18 AM
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I would stop care immediately. Maybe write down a few center numbers .Lack of payment would be huge for me.I would just call it.Sorry no care as of pick-up today.Tell relative a small group setting is not working.Feels harsh but you have to make decision for your whole group and self.Good luck.
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Old 10-21-2019, 12:05 PM
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Personally, I'd just terminate care and say something like "my program is not a good fit for them at this point"

2 hours to pick up?? That would have been an immediate term right then and there.

Saying the "F" word a second time would also have been an immediate term.

Sending child KNOWING they have an excluding condition/illness would also have been an immediate term.
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Old 10-21-2019, 12:06 PM
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Nope. Done. I got tired for you just reading that. 2 med issues and payment problems in a couple weeks? Not dealing with that.
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Old 10-21-2019, 01:17 PM
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Not a good fit. Just the fact she hasn't bothered to turn in her part of the paperwork yet, would be enough for me. It'd be hard enough dealing with all that crap if you're getting paid.
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Old 10-21-2019, 04:26 PM
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Old 10-22-2019, 11:16 AM
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Well, that didn't go well. I sent her a text, which I normally wouldn't do, but she doesn't have an email on file, a letter would take to long to get to her, and I refuse to have a conversation of that nature over the phone for various reasons.

So I texted her and told her that I hoped dck was feeling better, and that I needed to discuss something with her. I told her that I have had a number of complaints from other parents regarding things with dck. Including the child coming here sick. And that because of these complaints, and the behavior issues dck is exhibiting, I did not think dck is a good fit for our daycare anymore. I never gave her a definite date, just told her that I needed to discuss this with her.
She texted back and basically lied about everything, said that I haven't brought behavior issues up to her, that she had no idea the child was sick, and said she has already missed four days of work so this isn't going to go well..especially since she didn't even get a notice!!

My DH and I took that last comment as a threat, so I replied and told her that I am truly sorry for the predicament she is in, but I have my own family to support and I can't risk losing income from daycare families because of another child. I also reminded her that my contract states that 2 week notice will be given from the provider, unless policies have been broken, and that she broke policies by bringing her knowing she is sick, and that my contract also states that hitting, pinching pushing, etc, and obsene language is not allowed.

She hasn't replied back. But I'm not sure how I go about getting paid for the days I had the child.. I'm sure she definitely won't turn in the paperwork now!
Thanks for all the advice- I have felt like a huge weight has been lifted!
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Old 10-22-2019, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered for privacy View Post
Well, that didn't go well. I sent her a text, which I normally wouldn't do, but she doesn't have an email on file, a letter would take to long to get to her, and I refuse to have a conversation of that nature over the phone for various reasons.

So I texted her and told her that I hoped dck was feeling better, and that I needed to discuss something with her. I told her that I have had a number of complaints from other parents regarding things with dck. Including the child coming here sick. And that because of these complaints, and the behavior issues dck is exhibiting, I did not think dck is a good fit for our daycare anymore. I never gave her a definite date, just told her that I needed to discuss this with her.
She texted back and basically lied about everything, said that I haven't brought behavior issues up to her, that she had no idea the child was sick, and said she has already missed four days of work so this isn't going to go well..especially since she didn't even get a notice!!

My DH and I took that last comment as a threat, so I replied and told her that I am truly sorry for the predicament she is in, but I have my own family to support and I can't risk losing income from daycare families because of another child. I also reminded her that my contract states that 2 week notice will be given from the provider, unless policies have been broken, and that she broke policies by bringing her knowing she is sick, and that my contract also states that hitting, pinching pushing, etc, and obsene language is not allowed.

She hasn't replied back. But I'm not sure how I go about getting paid for the days I had the child.. I'm sure she definitely won't turn in the paperwork now!
Thanks for all the advice- I have felt like a huge weight has been lifted!
Hopefully it is over! Count it as a lesson learned making sure all paperwork is in order before enrolling along with payment. Not sure I would brought other daycare families into the mix implying they had input in your decision, and would have just termed with a "not a good fit" explanation. Just my opinions.
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Old 10-22-2019, 01:21 PM
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If you haven't already done it, you might want to give a heads up to your licensing agency/licensor. Just in case she decides to get salty and file some bogus complaint.
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