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wahmof3 06:00 PM 02-13-2013
Oh my goodness.

I am frantic. I had a DCF return this week from maternity leave. I gave her our new contract that includes the newborn.

She was expecting a sibling discount bc I have given discount in the past to another DCF that has "aged" out but they are friends.

I no longer offer sibling discount and I already give her a 4 day/week rate instead of my FT rate.

So basically she is already getting a $50/week discount (with the 2 DCK).

The sibling discount I gave in the past was huge and added up quickly.

DCM was expecting to pay my PT rate for FT care. I just cannot justify that rate, I already lose $50 per week AND do not charge to hold for summer. Plus I did not enforce the 1/2 rate charge for maternity leave. (Please don't flame me for not enforcing this bc I already know I was wrong- believe me I have lost well over $1000).

So I sent her a text stating that I have cleared up any questions in the contract by adding more detail and that I will have that for her tomorrow.

DCM responds that she is not going to sign the contract until they know if they can make it work.

While I respect that if they cannot afford $200 per week for child care (which is pretty cheap around here) I am not sure what to do until I get a signed contract. I started the DCK back this week and I am worried about what I will be getting paid. (One again please don't blast me for I am already aware that this issue should've been taken care of well before the DCK returned to care, lessons learned.)
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daycaremom76 06:19 PM 02-13-2013
If they can't afford daycare then they need to stop having kids or find a cheaper place............to put it bluntly! I was in a similar situation a few weeks back. I have a DCM that's expecting and I've been asking her for the past 5 months what she's going to do when the 2nd baby comes. I gave her my rates at that time (they are printed in my contract so she knew) I offer a $15 sibling discount off each child only for FT care. She kept telling me she isn't sure, they can afford care while she's on leave etc....... So I got tired of asking and just replaced her. The new family starts in March, she's do any day now and on Monday she came in all excited and told me that they decided they were going to stay! So I told her that I already filled her spot since they weren't giving me a commitment! She actually took it pretty well and understood, the new family is only here M-Th so she is going to send the sibling I already watch on Fridays until she finds another provider.

You need to get paid for who's there and if she isn't going to pay you then don't allow her to drop off her kids and tell her that. I mean seriously she expects you to watch her kids and not pay you????? YOUR THE BOSS SO BE THE BOSS!!!! Infants are a dime a dozen! I get infant calls all day, in my state we can only have 2 under 2. Let her know that you can't provide care w/o a signed contract period, but if you let her take control of the situation then you are only going to be mad at yourself and end up with the short end of the stick!
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snbauser 06:49 PM 02-13-2013
Your response needs to be that you can not care for her children until you have a signed contract. Plain and simple. You do not have a contract so therefore she "technically" doesn't have to pay you because there is no agreement in place. Stop it now before you get in trouble.
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blandino 07:24 PM 02-13-2013
Tom Copeland words it the best when it comes to sibiling discounts. Which child would they like you to provide partial care for ? (since they are providing partial payment).
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Holiday Park 04:40 AM 02-14-2013
Here is another way of doing it. Give her a date it has to be signed by.
And tell her you will respect her choice if she decides not o sign by that but you will no longer care for either of her kids if she decides not to sign by the specified date. HOWEVER , n the mean time she will still still have to pay the rates you quoted her regardless. And make her pay in advance. If he gives you any teouble or tries arguing you can give your two weeks notice. Its just not worth the hassle sealing with some one like that( if shes arguing about it, and still not wanting to sign OR pay) .
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coolconfidentme 04:47 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by snbauser:
Your response needs to be that you can not care for her children until you have a signed contract. Plain and simple. You do not have a contract so therefore she "technically" doesn't have to pay you because there is no agreement in place. Stop it now before you get in trouble.
You can also say it's a license requirement to have documentation on ALL children in your care. It is here...
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canadiancare 04:47 AM 02-14-2013
I didn't give sibling discounts but I didn't raise the fees of a longterm family- new kids started at 35$ a day and the existing family (3 kids over the course of 6 years) stayed at 32$ a day. I won't do that again. From now on if I have a fee increase it will be across the board.
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coolconfidentme 04:48 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
Tom Copeland words it the best when it comes to sibiling discounts. Which child would they like you to provide partial care for ? (since they are providing partial payment).

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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:22 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by snbauser:
Your response needs to be that you can not care for her children until you have a signed contract. Plain and simple. You do not have a contract so therefore she "technically" doesn't have to pay you because there is no agreement in place. Stop it now before you get in trouble.
Absolutely!

I would give her a hard deadline. You are sitting there with no money until they "decide" !!!!

I used to give a 10% sibling discount. Then, I quit.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:22 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
You can also say it's a license requirement to have documentation on ALL children in your care. It is here...

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wahmof3 05:48 AM 02-14-2013
thanks so much!!!

While I really don't want to lose this family, I cannot afford what she was expecting to pay and unless they are planning on using family I don't see her finding a cheaper rate that includes what I offer (low ratio, all licensing requirements, location, tax deductible, etc).


It makes me sad and a little confused as to where she got the sibling discount seeing how I don't advertise it and never discussed it
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countrymom 06:04 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by wahmof3:
thanks so much!!!

While I really don't want to lose this family, I cannot afford what she was expecting to pay and unless they are planning on using family I don't see her finding a cheaper rate that includes what I offer (low ratio, all licensing requirements, location, tax deductible, etc).


It makes me sad and a little confused as to where she got the sibling discount seeing how I don't advertise it and never discussed it
this happened to another provider, when the family came back they told the provider that they are going to pay 27 dollars a day for the 1 child. They told the provider thats what she charged before and thats what they are paying. The provider said that she never charge that weird price and she didn't know where they got it. She refused to budge, and she gave them the choice, either pay what she charges or take the child and leave. they stayed. But she said that they tried to give her their price, because thats what they wanted to pay, its not that they couldn't afford it, it was the fact that they were trying to nagotiate childcare.

my only concern is that at the end of the week she is going to short change you. I think I would discuss the amount again at drop off just so she doesn't leave you high and dry.
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cheerfuldom 06:10 AM 02-14-2013
Do not take the kids anymore until she signs a contract, plan and simple.
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Mom&Provider 06:34 AM 02-14-2013
I also don't offer sibling discounts, they just don't make sense to me. Each child requires all the same things, so where/why does the discount apply?

I think you need to stay strong on this one to be happy in the long run. Like other people have alread said, simply say sorry, no contract, no care and I need to know by XX.

I know it sucks, but even you have mentioned that you've already given up money for this family and it obviously bothers you, so enough is enough.
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Blackcat31 06:44 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by wahmof3:
DCM responds that she is not going to sign the contract until they know if they can make it work.
My response would have been "Ok no problem, When you do decide to sign the contract, I will begin providing care. But please understand I will be interviewing to fill the space in the meantime so it may not be available for too long."

Your situation is a great example of how "special" becomes the norm pretty quickly in a parent's eyes
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wahmof3 11:27 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My response would have been "Ok no problem, When you do decide to sign the contract, I will begin providing care. But please understand I will be interviewing to fill the space in the meantime so it may not be available for too long."

Your situation is a great example of how "special" becomes the norm pretty quickly in a parent's eyes
You are absolutely right. Its amazing too how their true colors come out when there is no more "special". DCM made a snide remark Tuesday night when leaving. You know what if they can't afford me that's fine- I am not taking it personal and she very well could be.

I am giving her the 2nd revised contract today and putting a deadline on it. If she is looking for alternate care I need to know.
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wahmof3 11:31 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
this happened to another provider, when the family came back they told the provider that they are going to pay 27 dollars a day for the 1 child. They told the provider thats what she charged before and thats what they are paying. The provider said that she never charge that weird price and she didn't know where they got it. She refused to budge, and she gave them the choice, either pay what she charges or take the child and leave. they stayed. But she said that they tried to give her their price, because thats what they wanted to pay, its not that they couldn't afford it, it was the fact that they were trying to nagotiate childcare.

my only concern is that at the end of the week she is going to short change you. I think I would discuss the amount again at drop off just so she doesn't leave you high and dry.
WOW who do these parents think they are? What gives them the "right" to think they can dictate a rate? I have no idea where this DCM came up w/ 40/day EXCEPT that she had talked to another DCP who paid me 40/day for 2 kids over a year ago! I have since dropped the sibling discount.
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wahmof3 03:14 PM 02-19-2013
Wanted to give an update on my DCF in limbo...

I still have no signed contract.

Yes I am keeping the DCK's & I am not pushing for the signed contract until the end of this week because my phb states the families have 2 weeks to decide.

She did pay the full amount for last week.

DCM has acted a little off, but not totally different. This is hard for the both of us as I have watched DCK #1 for over 3 years.

It is absolutely NOTHING personal, but I won't lie and say I won't be sad if they go. I will probably shed a few tears.

I would absolutely regret keeping them FT for a PT rate.

I just wish she would hurry up and let me know what her intentions are so that I can advertise for their spots if I need to.
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Blackcat31 03:24 PM 02-19-2013
Originally Posted by wahmof3:
I just wish she would hurry up and let me know what her intentions are so that I can advertise for their spots if I need to.
You could still advertise and add to your wait list. Things change so quickly in this business that I am always open to interviewing even when I don't have open spaces.

You just never know when someone has a change or loses their job or whatever....

I say advertise, interview and you should have your answer soon from this family.

I will be sad for you if they do leave but like you said, being sad because they leave is a lot easier to deal with than providing full time care for part time rates and letting the resentment build.
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daycaremom76 03:26 PM 02-19-2013
I would still put an advertisement out there just in case. Just don't sign anything until you find out what they are doing.
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MarinaVanessa 05:12 PM 02-19-2013
Originally Posted by wahmof3:
Wanted to give an update on my DCF in limbo...

I still have no signed contract.

Yes I am keeping the DCK's & I am not pushing for the signed contract until the end of this week because my phb states the families have 2 weeks to decide.

She did pay the full amount for last week.

DCM has acted a little off, but not totally different. This is hard for the both of us as I have watched DCK #1 for over 3 years.

It is absolutely NOTHING personal, but I won't lie and say I won't be sad if they go. I will probably shed a few tears.

I would absolutely regret keeping them FT for a PT rate.

I just wish she would hurry up and let me know what her intentions are so that I can advertise for their spots if I need to.
Why not start advertising now and just say that the opening won't be available until the date that the contract has to be signed by? Then if limbo family decides not to sign the contract you can have another family start that day. If limbo family decides to sign the contract you can just call your potential families and either say that the position has been filled or if you approved someone to start just tell them that the client that was supposed to leave ended up wanting to stay with you after all and then offer to keep that potential family on your waiting list just in case limbo family causes problems with the rates or something else.
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wahmof3 05:24 PM 02-19-2013
You ladies are so right.... I do need to advertise for the spot. I didn't look at that way! I can always put them on a wait list

I understand that she needs to do what's best for her family and that $200 week for full time care for a 3yo & newborn could be too much for her.

BUT

I need to do what is best for my family too!!

THANKS!!!!
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blandino 05:34 PM 02-19-2013
$200.00 a week for two kids in care is something she should be jumping at. She shouldn't expect you to lose money due to her financial situation.
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daycaremom76 06:26 PM 02-19-2013
Originally Posted by wahmof3:

I understand that she needs to do what's best for her family and that $200 week for full time care for a 3yo & newborn could be too much for her.
She's complaining about $200 a week for a NB & 3yr old??????? Holy crap she would die if she lived in my area!!!!!! That's a steal!
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blandino 06:27 PM 02-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycaremom76:
She's complaining about $200 a week for a NB & 3yr old??????? Holy crap she would die if she lived in my area!!!!!! That's a steal!
That's what I think. In my area, she would be looking at a minimum of $250.00 and closer to $280.00-$300.00 would be accurate.
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daycaremom76 06:48 PM 02-19-2013
I charge $225 for infants and $160 for 2yrs and up so yeah she would be SOL!
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MarinaVanessa 07:41 PM 02-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycaremom76:
She's complaining about $200 a week for a NB & 3yr old??????? Holy crap she would die if she lived in my area!!!!!! That's a steal!
Exactly what I was thinking. I don't give sibling discounts and I don't charge more for infants than I do toddlers so if she were my client she'd be looking at $160 a week per kid ... that's $320 a week for both of them, and I'm reasonable. Others in my area are $175 per kid so $350 for both of them.
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wahmof3 09:21 PM 02-19-2013
My full time rate is $125 per child, so that's part of the issue too.

When I first started, several years ago, I charged for only the days they used.

So when I went to a flat weekly rate of $125 rather than raise her rate I only flat weekly rated the 4 days she uses- so $100 per week.

I am already giving her a "discount" by not charging for the 5th day, that I have trouble filling. Her fee should really be $250 for 2 DCK.

DCM doesn't see it that way.
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Starburst 10:57 PM 02-19-2013
When will they learn that child care is not like E-bay- you cannot just keep bidding on a pre-owned 60 inch flat screen and keep haggling hoping you won't have to pay less than what it is really worth. It is a quality service that is worth every penny... and then some.

And if that is the way they look for daycare (on price and not quality), they shouldn't be suprised when if their children are shipped back to them damaged.
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wahmof3 05:23 AM 02-20-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
When will they learn that child care is not like E-bay- you cannot just keep bidding on a pre-owned 60 inch flat screen and keep haggling hoping you won't have to pay less than what it is really worth. It is a quality service that is worth every penny... and then some.

And if that is the way they look for daycare (on price and not quality), they shouldn't be suprised when if their children are shipped back to them damaged.
This is great!!! You are right, childcare is not Ebay
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williams2008 06:03 AM 02-20-2013
Originally Posted by Holiday Park:
Here is another way of doing it. Give her a date it has to be signed by.
And tell her you will respect her choice if she decides not o sign by that but you will no longer care for either of her kids if she decides not to sign by the specified date. HOWEVER , n the mean time she will still still have to pay the rates you quoted her regardless. And make her pay in advance. If he gives you any teouble or tries arguing you can give your two weeks notice. Its just not worth the hassle sealing with some one like that( if shes arguing about it, and still not wanting to sign OR pay) .

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Tags:maternity leave, sibling discount
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