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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Putting the DC Before Yourself....
Christina72684 11:02 AM 03-10-2014
I've only been doing this 2.5 years so maybe this is normal, but do you ever feel like you're always putting the daycare before yourself? Long story short.....I want to work out 1-3x a week at a class similar to Zumba but it's only offered a few different times a week, same with Weight Watchers. I need to do this for ME. I'm sick of being over weight and will be turning 30 in July so I have goals I want to achieve before then. But it's so hard to get time to go to these things because I always have to work! We're open until 5:30 and the classes start then so I want to leave around 4:45 but it seems like something always comes up and my assistants can't work. One took a week and a half off for Spring Break, the other works PT at Kohl's, and the other has school. It's just so frustrating that they have lives and I don't because I can't do anything but work and after that I have my 2 kids to take care of. I'm about to just tell them "Here's your schedule. Work it or find somewhere else to work." It's not fair that I'm neglecting myself because it just puts me in a bad mood, which then isn't fair to the kids. I understand that this is my business and I own it, but that shouldn't mean that it's my WHOLE life......does it?
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llpa 11:30 AM 03-10-2014
Well, first of all you might need a . Secondly, you have every right to have time for yourself and accomplish things for yourself. Being your own boss tho, means those things won't happen unless you direct that. It sounds like your assistants can't really help you when you need to escape. Sooooo if you are covering for them and resenting it, it may be time to have a little meeting with them. Tell them what you would like to accomplish. Perhaps their hours could be rearranged and you can attend to the things you want to do at a diff time also. Or maybe you can cut their hours to add an assistant who can close up for you. When the assistant comes back from her time off, maybe she can cover at closing for a while. If none of those work, I would tell them that you will be needing them at diff hours now and they need to tell you if they cannot accomplish that for you.
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Blackcat31 11:47 AM 03-10-2014
I totally understand where you are coming from. I wish I had an easy answer for you but I don't.

I think that sometimes when you are just starting out, there ARE things you have to do or times in which you have to stretch yourself farther than you'd like.

Building a business IS hard work and if you want to reap the rewards later, you have to do the hard work now.

I know that probably isn't what you want to hear and I apologize but in my honest opinion, it's the truth. Michael's celebration story was a good example.

Sometimes you HAVE to give MORE than 100%, especially when building a reputation to go along with that business.

I bet every success story you ever read or hear about (including Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg) it includes LONG hours, sleepless nights and never ever giving up.

When I first opened, I did a TON more than I do now. I was open 12 hours a day, never closed, rarely turned a family away and put up with a lot of doo-doo until I got it right.

I feel my efforts then have MORE than paid off now, but I know in the bottom of my heart that I would NOT be where I am today if I had not put in all that "extra" above and beyond time then.
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Play Care 12:23 PM 03-10-2014
I completely agree with Black Cat.

That said, from your other posts it sounds as if your staff isn't pulling their weight. Yes, as a new business owner you will be working 60+ hour weeks. That just is what it is. But your issue is that you have employees who won't work - get rid of the dead weight and hire better staff (even if it means taking a loss initially) I learned early on that better pay/ higher job requirements meant a better staff.
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Evansmom 12:51 PM 03-10-2014
Ok I'll be the voice of dissention here. I respectfully disagree with BC.

Sadly I may not have an answer for you though OP, but more of a question. How you YOU feel about putting yourself on the back burner all the time? Because it's not really about what I or anyone else thinks, it's more about what you think and what you feel. If you feel strongly about needing these activities for your well being then there is your answer. I ignored my needs for my business too and it contributed significantly to my burn out.

I'm sure you're not surprised that running a daycare and owning your own business takes sacrifice and hard work. But finding balance is super hard, at least it was for me when I was open and was a major factor in closing down. If you feel like you really need to focus on yourself right now then try to find a way to make that happen like hiring a person who you can depend on to cover for you to take the classes/exercise. If you feel like your business needs priority right now then yes, maybe you'll have to be on the back burner a little longer.
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Country Kids 12:53 PM 03-10-2014
Believe me I know how you feel. I have been in business 17 years and wanted to join a gym but there is no time to do that.

I figured my hours out for taxes last night and I worked 2292 hours last year-that averages out to actually a 13+ month year in works hours. That was taking every federal holiday off, 3 or 4 personal days and a few 1/2 days that I didn't charge for.

That doesn't include taking classes/cleaning/prep time.

So there is really little me time-
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Blackcat31 12:56 PM 03-10-2014
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
Ok I'll be the voice of dissention here. I respectfully disagree with BC.

Sadly I may not have an answer for you though OP, but more of a question. How you YOU feel about putting yourself on the back burner all the time? Because it's not really about what I or anyone else thinks, it's more about what you think and what you feel. If you feel strongly about needing these activities for your well being then there is your answer. I ignored my needs for my business too and it contributed significantly to my burn out.

I'm sure you're not surprised that running a daycare and owning your own business takes sacrifice and hard work. But finding balance is super hard, at least it was for me when I was open and was a major factor in closing down. If you feel like you really need to focus on yourself right now then try to find a way to make that happen like hiring a person who you can depend on to cover for you to take the classes/exercise. If you feel like your business needs priority right now then yes, maybe you'll have to be on the back burner a little longer.
I think we are actually on the same page...maybe just different paragraphs.

My response to her was in connection with her other post about having employees who don't do their jobs and the fact that OP admits she isn't a good boss.

I definitely feel that it IS important to put yourself first sometimes and sometimes it IS at the expense of something else (clients, income, spouse etc..) but in order to be able to put yourself first, you HAVE to have certain things already taken care of....kwim?

If the OP can't get her staff run things smoothly while she is away or not on site, then SHE will have to do it if she wants to stay in business and be successful.

If she has staff she CAN count on, then she has it made and should be able to take the time SHE personally needs.
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TaylorTots 01:18 PM 03-10-2014
I agree with BC - in the beginning of a business you often have to make sacrifices if you want to succeed. It's up to you which sacrifices you make.

For example, I have 2 kids on lower rates than I would like but I needed enrollment to open and it secured that. I will correct it as I move forward and renew contracts, but in order for me to get somewhere I had to make a sacrifice
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Evansmom 01:19 PM 03-10-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I think we are actually on the same page...maybe just different paragraphs.

My response to her was in connection with her other post about having employees who don't do their jobs and the fact that OP admits she isn't a good boss.

I definitely feel that it IS important to put yourself first sometimes and sometimes it IS at the expense of something else (clients, income, spouse etc..) but in order to be able to put yourself first, you HAVE to have certain things already taken care of....kwim?

If the OP can't get her staff run things smoothly while she is away or not on site, then SHE will have to do it if she wants to stay in business and be successful.

If she has staff she CAN count on, then she has it made and should be able to take the time SHE personally needs.
Oh, I missed her other post so I didn't have that background. You're right, same page, different paragraphs! Lol!
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SilverSabre25 01:29 PM 03-10-2014
I'm getting to a place where I can go to the gym in the mornings before DH goes to work. He goes in at 9; I start work at 7:30 but leave for the gym not long after that. DH keeps the kids for me and I get back around 8:30. I (plan) to do this three mornings a week and it makes a big difference. If I have to I can run to the store, too, because the gym is right next to it. That's a huge help too.

My parents all know this and are (obviously) fine with it. No one signs on here without knowing that DH is my PARTNER and primary substitute...and that sometimes I go to the gym in the early morning.
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mountainside13 03:02 PM 03-10-2014
I feel that way too sometimes, ok more often than not I rarely do anything for myself!
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laceylmm 03:14 PM 03-10-2014
I feel you on wanting to lose weight. I will 30 July 31. Neeed to lose weight!
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Christina72684 06:08 AM 03-11-2014
Thank you all for understanding. I was afraid I would get "attacked" for not realizing that this is my business and being the owner I will always have to sacrifice in order to run it. I originally went to school to be an elementary school teacher and subbed for a few years before opening my DC, so I often think, "If I was a teacher, I could...." and one of those things is knowing that after 3:15pm I would be child free and could do things in the evening that I can't do now. I've thought about toughing this out until my 2 kids are in school (my youngest is 7 months) and then going back to teaching and hopefully having a really great employee here to run things. But who knows if I'll ever find that person or even a job in this area.

While making the schedule for the next few weeks I've found myself working more and more hours to accommodate my 3 workers and my mom (the co-owner of the 2 daycares) and decided enough is enough. I don't care if one of the girls likes opening on Fridays so she can get off early and start her weekend.....maybe I want to do that! Time to grow a pair and do what's best for me!

Thanks everyone!!!
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Blackcat31 06:41 AM 03-11-2014
Originally Posted by Christina72684:
Thank you all for understanding. I was afraid I would get "attacked" for not realizing that this is my business and being the owner I will always have to sacrifice in order to run it. I originally went to school to be an elementary school teacher and subbed for a few years before opening my DC, so I often think, "If I was a teacher, I could...." and one of those things is knowing that after 3:15pm I would be child free and could do things in the evening that I can't do now. I've thought about toughing this out until my 2 kids are in school (my youngest is 7 months) and then going back to teaching and hopefully having a really great employee here to run things. But who knows if I'll ever find that person or even a job in this area.

While making the schedule for the next few weeks I've found myself working more and more hours to accommodate my 3 workers and my mom (the co-owner of the 2 daycares) and decided enough is enough. I don't care if one of the girls likes opening on Fridays so she can get off early and start her weekend.....maybe I want to do that! Time to grow a pair and do what's best for me!

Thanks everyone!!!
BINGO!! you just solved your problem!

YOU are the boss. You DO get to pick your hours and you DO get to be the one who gets the good shifts, gets to leave early or whenever you want... because YOU are the boss!

That is the beauty of being the boss! You don't have to miss out on anything you don't want to.

Schedule your workers to come in when YOU need them to, NOT when they want to. I am sure they might not be thrilled all the time, but you can't please everyone all the time so sometimes you have to do what's best for you.

You CAN build a business AND have me time too...as long as you are willing to step up and be the boss your business needs you to be.

You aren't campaigning for world's best boss.....you are simply trying to run a successful child care and that means having to give those early shifts (or any unwanted duties) to staff that are FULLY expected to do the jobs you hired them to do because YOU are the one in charge!

You CAN do it!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:24 AM 03-11-2014
I understand

Definitely do what you need to in order to be healthy and happy!
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Annalee 09:19 AM 03-11-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

Sometimes you HAVE to give MORE than 100%, especially when building a reputation to go along with that business.
I bet every success story you ever read or hear about (including Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg) it includes LONG hours, sleepless nights and never ever giving up.

When I first opened, I did a TON more than I do now. I was open 12 hours a day, never closed, rarely turned a family away and put up with a lot of doo-doo until I got it right.

I feel my efforts then have MORE than paid off now, but I know in the bottom of my heart that I would NOT be where I am today if I had not put in all that "extra" above and beyond time then.
I agree! My mentor told me that one day I would reach a point where the daycare run itself. For the most part it does now. Issues do come up but less often now. The hard work it took to set things in order put me in tears MANY times....BUT it does pay off in the long run!!!!! Hang in there!
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