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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Why Do I Feel Guilty??
Ac114 05:00 PM 03-18-2018
So I had 3 openings that I literally filled in a week. Everyone in my town needs childcare and it doesn’t seem like there are enough providers. Anyways- I had maybe 10 different families reach out to me, but only 3 actually set up an interview. I do most of my advertising through a moms Facebook group for our city. I would get private messages asking the basics and then they would either say, I’ll get back to you or schedule an interview. This one woman needed care for her 6 month old son starting the first week of April but said she would get back to me at a later date. I have found that usually that is a generic saying and doesn’t have much meaning behind it. So she contacts me at 8pm Sunday night (just now) and said she’s in a bind and would like to start him tomorrow if I can. Well now I can’t, because I filled my spots with the other families I interviewed this past week. I feel super guilty for some reason like maybe I should have reached out to her and told her ahead of time and tell her I filled my spots. But I also don’t want her leaving her 6 month old with some crazy person she’s never met and something bad happen because she’s in a bind. Was I wrong for not informing everyone who ever contacts me that I’ve filled my spots?
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HappyEverAfter 07:35 PM 03-18-2018
No, you were not wrong. If she was truly interested she should’ve followed up with you sooner. It was her responsibility, not yours.
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Claraskids 07:36 PM 03-18-2018
She wants to drop off her 6 month old with someone she has never met? And do it in less than 12 hours? Can we say red flag!
Do not feel guilty about this. Most responsible parents line up childcare in advance, not the night before.
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storybookending 07:37 PM 03-18-2018
No you are not wrong for not following through with everyone that contacts you. It is not your job to chase down clients and honestly clients you have to chase down are probably not the kind of clients you want in the first place. She could’ve followed up as she said she would have but she did not so you offered spots to those that did. Her problem, not yours.
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Josiegirl 02:22 AM 03-19-2018
Ditto to what everyone else said! It wasn't your responsibility to reach back out to her. If she was truly in need of dc, she should've called you sooner. Evidently there was a quick change of plans or something fell through unexpectedly. Not your problem.
Besides the obvious horror of leaving a 6 mo baby with someone she doesn't know, what about paperwork, proof of immunizations, and everything else??
I agree, red flags everywhere.
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amberrose3dg 03:02 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Ditto to what everyone else said! It wasn't your responsibility to reach back out to her. If she was truly in need of dc, she should've called you sooner. Evidently there was a quick change of plans or something fell through unexpectedly. Not your problem.
Besides the obvious horror of leaving a 6 mo baby with someone she doesn't know, what about paperwork, proof of immunizations, and everything else??
I agree, red flags everywhere.
No it was her responsibility to secure child care. I couldn't ever be in that type of bind to leave my 6 month old with someone I never met.
Whenever I have calls about an opening I let the parents know how quickly the spot will go. Some will call me back weeks later looking for it and it's gone. I warned them, guess they didn't really think it was the case.
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mamamanda 04:55 AM 03-19-2018
I wouldn't feel bad at all. You probably dodged a bullet with this one. If she hasn't paid for the spot & signed the paperwork then she has no spot. Period.
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DaveA 05:21 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by mamamanda:
I wouldn't feel bad at all. You probably dodged a bullet with this one. If she hasn't paid for the spot & signed the paperwork then she has no spot. Period.
I agree completely. Poor planning on DCM's part does not mean you did anything wrong.
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Blackcat31 05:55 AM 03-19-2018

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amberrose3dg 06:02 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

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Ac114 06:18 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is great! I guess I was just worried that she was going to leave her baby with just anyone and something bad happen to him.
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Blackcat31 06:32 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
This is great! I guess I was just worried that she was going to leave her baby with just anyone and something bad happen to him.
If she parents like she "plans" she might be the type to leave her baby with any stranger so honestly, I wouldn't feel guilty one bit.

Planning and securing child care for your infant is a tough task and those who wait until the last minute and then scramble to secure care obviously don't have the same set of priorities as far as care giver qualities...kwim?

As a parent, I would never put finding good quality SAFE care last on my list of things to do before going to work...
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amberrose3dg 06:36 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If she parents like she "plans" she might be the type to leave her baby with any stranger so honestly, I wouldn't feel guilty one bit.

Planning and securing child care for your infant is a tough task and those who wait until the last minute and then scramble to secure care obviously don't have the same set of priorities as far as care giver qualities...kwim?

As a parent, I would never put finding good quality SAFE care last on my list of things to do before going to work...
This^ I see it a lot too. I get calls almost daily and a lot of them are looking for care for an infant almost immediately or within a week. I have no clue why they wait. Maybe they think finding a daycare spot is that easy. I know in our area it is not. The only spots they will find are most likely with people I wouldn't leave a goldfish with. I have notice a flood of daycare ads on facebook that are illegal and unsafe. That scares me but I cannot be worried about what their parents do. I just hope they use their best judgement.
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Play Care 06:51 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
So I had 3 openings that I literally filled in a week. Everyone in my town needs childcare and it doesn’t seem like there are enough providers. Anyways- I had maybe 10 different families reach out to me, but only 3 actually set up an interview. I do most of my advertising through a moms Facebook group for our city. I would get private messages asking the basics and then they would either say, I’ll get back to you or schedule an interview. This one woman needed care for her 6 month old son starting the first week of April but said she would get back to me at a later date. I have found that usually that is a generic saying and doesn’t have much meaning behind it. So she contacts me at 8pm Sunday night (just now) and said she’s in a bind and would like to start him tomorrow if I can. Well now I can’t, because I filled my spots with the other families I interviewed this past week. I feel super guilty for some reason like maybe I should have reached out to her and told her ahead of time and tell her I filled my spots. But I also don’t want her leaving her 6 month old with some crazy person she’s never met and something bad happen because she’s in a bind. Was I wrong for not informing everyone who ever contacts me that I’ve filled my spots?

I don't think you are wrong, but I do think in the future when the parent says they will get back to you, that you let them know that you are in the process of interviewing several families and that the spots may be filled. Not that it's your responsibility to hand hold, but I do find I feel better if I cover my bases.

That said, at this point I would reply "Thank you for your interest in ABC child care. Unfortunately my spots are now filled. I can put you on my waiting list and let you know if/when I get another opening."
I would only feel guilty if I led the parent to believe they had a spot and gave it away. Otherwise it's not my problem. Most likely she will have family or a friend pitch in until she secures care.
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Tags:feeling guilty, notifications, spot filled
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