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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Very little and hitting
logged out 05:06 PM 11-03-2011
I have a little one, less than 18 months that hits all the time. This particular child thinks it is a game. I am pretty sure his parents let him do this stuff at home and think of it as a game. This child will walk up to another child and flat out smack them in the face and smile like it is a game.

This child likes to kick people and is a biter also.

I have tried the shadowing thing and it seems to get me nowhere, but having a crank baby at m feet still trying to hit, kick, bite and take toys away from anything in sight.

Any advice? What works for this age? I know talking to the parents is step one, but what can I do here?
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erinalexmom 06:06 PM 11-03-2011
I hate to say but I have one just like this and I finally bought a baby playard and put him in there sometimes. He actually likes it in there because he likes having his own space without the other kids bothering him. His parents even have come in with him in there and said "he really does like it in there! I didnt believe it at first but I saw it and he seems happy there!" Now what I do is he is only in there for free play for awhile in the morning and then I get him out for circle time and all meals of course and then the afternoon when most of the other kids leave and its just him and maybe one or two others.
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Heidi 06:11 PM 11-03-2011
large play yard...the term used here is "divide and conquer"...I believe it's NannyDE's invention
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Ariana 10:32 AM 11-04-2011
I just started a hitter and 2 things worked for me. The very first time she hit I went over to her got down to her level took her hands in mine firmly and looked into her eyes and said "Stop hitting....gentle hands....always gentle hands". I then read a book called "hands are not for hitting at circle time and we talked about it again at circle. She hasn't hit since that incident. I guess I was firm and to the point....I still watch her closely though!! If there is an occassion where I feel she might hit I intervene right away and say "Gentle"....she likes to torture my dog so there are lots of opportunities to repeat "gentle". I probably say it 50X a day!! We're are also working on her language, especially asking for "help".

I've also seen her hit her mom square in the face and mom did nothing!! Probably why she thought she could get away with it here
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Blackcat31 10:38 AM 11-04-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I just started a hitter and 2 things worked for me. The very first time she hit I went over to her got down to her level took her hands in mine firmly and looked into her eyes and said "Stop hitting....gentle hands....always gentle hands". I then read a book called "hands are not for hitting at circle time and we talked about it again at circle. She hasn't hit since that incident. I guess I was firm and to the point....I still watch her closely though!! If there is an occassion where I feel she might hit I intervene right away and say "Gentle"....she likes to torture my dog so there are lots of opportunities to repeat "gentle". I probably say it 50X a day!! We're are also working on her language, especially asking for "help".

I've also seen her hit her mom square in the face and mom did nothing!! Probably why she thought she could get away with it here
I think that is the key. Intervention, words, and consistency. You really have to be ready BEFORE it happens and then have a plan of action to stop it. Reinforce the rules with books, discussion and other activities.

It really is an on-going process. Especially if parents are allowing it at home.
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AnneCordelia 10:47 AM 11-04-2011
I have 4 between 14-16 months. Hitting, scratching and biting are really common with this age group because they usually have very few words. I have had 3 of my 4 go through phases of hitting or scratching.

I agree with the above posters. I intervene immediately (aim for BEFORE baby makes a connection with another child), use simple but firm words ("No hitting! Hitting hurts!") and aim for being 100% consistent. My most stubborn scratcher took about a week to break of this habit. I also make a point to redirect the baby's attention by setting him at a different activity.

When I have a baby who is hitting or scratching I do make a point to tell the parents. "We're making a point to work on gentle hands with Johnny. He seems to be frustrated with his inability to express himself and is outletting by hitting the other kids. Just wanted to give you a heads up so we can work on this behaviour together. "
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Ariana 10:50 AM 11-04-2011
I also do hand over hand to illustrate the concept of gentle. I will take her hand and gently stroke the dog saying "geeeeennnnnntttttlllllleeeeeeee" really slowly!
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I'm the OP 11:38 AM 11-04-2011
Unfortunately putting this child in a separate space is not doable. My space is not big enough for a separate play area.

This child also is not doing this out of frustration or anger. It is fun to this child. You can tell by the look on that little face. This one laughs and smiles while doing it. From what I can tell, the parents allow a lot of stuff at home that just does not work here. If someone is holding a toy, this child will walk up and knock it out of their hands. Parents do this as a game with a ball at home. If someone is sitting on the floor, this child walks right up to them and kicks them on purpose and smiles.

This child is little, but does not seem like it is out of frustration or true aggression. This child is not upset at all when doing this. It is like it is a game.
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Tags:divide and conquer, hitting, play yard, terminate - inappropriate behavior, violence
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