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WImom 11:44 AM 08-18-2011
Do you ignore this behavior or something else? I have a 3y old DCG that tells me this for everything. When I tell her she does have to she most of the time do it but it's like she has to have her opionion first. Sometimes it will take a few times of telling her and sometimes once. Right now I just ignore it if she keeps saying it.

It's been a few weeks and she hasn't grown tired of this phase yet. Any tips?
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mismatchedsocks 11:51 AM 08-18-2011
I had a girl just like this, repeating until I acknowledged it. Everything was mine though. I tried to ignore it but it kept on often and loud. Finally i started saying, i know you think it is your but its not, now please give to me. She would, without a fight. I think she just uses that word too often and mom gave in.
I think if she says i dont have to, and ignoring doesnt work, then when she says it, say you do have to, thank you for listening. good luck
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Cat Herder 11:56 AM 08-18-2011
DCK..."I don't have to..."

Me..."One, Two...."

Problem over.

I still have not made it to three so I assume someone at home must have.

It is all about the face and a firm, calm tone.

When my voice gets very quiet and deliberate all the kids stop to see who is in trouble.

I guess I do sing and hum alot... Today is "Party on the rooftop, top of the world tonight"...La, la, la...La, la, la....
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WImom 11:58 AM 08-18-2011
You know I've always used 1,2,3 method with my own kids but for some reason it doesn't work with my dc kids. Parents at home must not use it? I still use it but when I say it doesn't work, I mean I always get to three.
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Cat Herder 12:07 PM 08-18-2011
Do you have a disciplinary plan with the Mom?

I have had a couple that lost privileges at home if I checked a box on their daily sheets. I'd give one warning, then let them see me do it. It worked well with parents who'd follow through.

If not do you have something she can lose at your house?
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WImom 12:13 PM 08-18-2011
I did finally tell her today that her telling me she doesn't have to is the same as talking back and that it isn't nice to talk back to your teacher and mom and dad.

We'll see how that goes because she got really quiet after I told her. Not sure how parents are handling at home. I'll try to ask at pick up if I can remember. I have 3-4 families here at one time on Thursdays so it get hectic.
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wdmmom 12:14 PM 08-18-2011
Ehh...I've only had one kid tell me that and it was about cleaning up toys.

I took him to the farthest spot in the room, had him bend over, pick up toy, walked behind him to the toybox, deposit toy, rinse and repeat. When you make it take twice or three times as long and only allow them to pick up one thing at a time, they learn very fast that it's much simpler to do what they are told the first time around!
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Meyou 01:30 PM 08-18-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
DCK..."I don't have to..."

Me..."One, Two...."

Problem over.

I still have not made it to three so I assume someone at home must have.

It is all about the face and a firm, calm tone.

When my voice gets very quiet and deliberate all the kids stop to see who is in trouble.

I guess I do sing and hum alot... Today is "Party on the rooftop, top of the world tonight"...La, la, la...La, la, la....
My 12 year old asked me the other day what I was going to do if I ever reached 3 and laughed. I told her if my luck holds out by the time they realize that I have no idea what happens at 3 they will be too old enough for it to work anymore anyway.
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Cat Herder 01:40 PM 08-18-2011
Originally Posted by Meyou:
My 12 year old asked me the other day what I was going to do if I ever reached 3 and laughed. I told her if my luck holds out by the time they realize that I have no idea what happens at 3 they will be too old enough for it to work anymore anyway.


I know... My 12yo son will start saying, under his breath, "Two and a half, two and three quarters..." ...as he walks by the playroom.

Lucky for him even he still runs down the hall to the family room if he starts to hear three..

I am looking forward to back to school....
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familyschoolcare 04:34 PM 08-18-2011
OP it sounds like you have a strong willed child on your hands. The only additional advice (advice already given by other is good) is when child say I do not have to say "I understand you do not want to ABC. However that is what is happening right now. If it is a group thing then say that is what everybody is doing right now. It is possible at that young of an age that the child is having a difficult time understanding the difference between feeling she does not want to and having to any way. The child is allowed to feel she does not want to however she can not misbehave because of how she feels. Sometimes children just need their feelings validated.

My own children have heard the I understand you do not want to. So much that they often repeat it before I do.
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Hunni Bee 07:12 PM 08-18-2011
I say "well if you can't do x, then you can't do anything" and they go sit in Nothingville for a while.

That ends it for most of my kids....but I have some have do some serious sitting, if they want to be stubborn.

They say time-out isn't really effective, buts like torture to my kids.
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Meyou 03:30 AM 08-19-2011
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I say "well if you can't do x, then you can't do anything" and they go sit in Nothingville for a while.

That ends it for most of my kids....but I have some have do some serious sitting, if they want to be stubborn.

They say time-out isn't really effective, buts like torture to my kids.
Mine too. They get sooo bored that it's the worst thing that ever happened to them.
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Meyou 03:32 AM 08-19-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:


I know... My 12yo son will start saying, under his breath, "Two and a half, two and three quarters..." ...as he walks by the playroom.

Lucky for him even he still runs down the hall to the family room if he starts to hear three..

I am looking forward to back to school....
She will bring out the two and five sixths on me!! Hahahaha! But like your son if I count AT her she still runs like the wind despite mocking me at other times. lol The joys of raising a witty sarcastic child.
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Tags:discipline plan, disobedient
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