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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Have An Almost 3 Year Old.....
mema 11:53 AM 12-08-2011
who has chosen to have fits at meal times. If I ask her to face the table or stop messing around she has been crying, screaming, and spitting on her food. I've tried removing her and she just continues where ever I put her. I tell her she is done eating and will go directly to rest time instead. She will then drop to the floor and not walk. If I take her hand and ask her to walk with me downstairs to her cot, she will just go limp. I've carried her down and she continues on her cot-the crying, screaming and spitting. Not sure what else to do. I have also tried just letting her go at the table how she is and talking to the others about how the are eating so good and using their manners and being such big kids. That seems to only make it worse.
I am at a loss and ready to pull my hair out. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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caring4kidsinSD 12:58 PM 12-08-2011
I established table rules a few years ago - Nothing drastic but no singing at the table, NO horsing around, Use manners, Sit nicely on your chair etc - that has helped some. Praise the kids who are following the rules

But if they are screaming or whatever, and won't follow those rules, they need to go in the back toyroom(just down the hallway a bit) so the rest of us can eat in peace. Yes they do continue to scream and yes we can hear her but at least it's away from the table(If I have to, I will put up a gate to prevent them from coming back to the kitchen while still screaming but not very often do I have to do that) When they are ready - they can come back. If they don't want to eat, they can just stay in there. (I just keep their food on the table for a while) BUt they know, they can't scream at the table. Sometimes they just need to chill a whle.

None of my current kids do this but I had a 5 yr old last year who did - he jsut wanted attention.



Edited to add - What brings on the fits? Is it only after you tell her to behave or is it just because she doesn't want to sit and eat?
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mema 01:20 PM 12-08-2011
It's only after I tell her to stop messing around. Up to that point she is usually eating well. She's a little slower at eating, so the other ones are usually just about done when she starts messing around and I tell her to stop and it goes downhill from there.
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Cat Herder 01:26 PM 12-08-2011
It sounds like it is time for a parent conference to draw up a discipline plan.

Set a deadline for resolution or termination.
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jojosmommy 01:29 PM 12-08-2011
If you can't function at the table at my house you are removed from the table and moved somewhere that you won't interfere with our other prenap routines. Screaming/ nonstop crying etc would go on their mat. "Sounds like you are tired. Time for bed." And, yes I have one who as soon as he is in trouble falls to the floor. I have no trouble picking him up and taking him where he needs to be (annoying but not going to hinder my efforts for peace in this house.) She will stop the whole bit once it stops working.
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Heidi 02:34 PM 12-08-2011
Originally Posted by mema:
who has chosen to have fits at meal times. If I ask her to face the table or stop messing around she has been crying, screaming, and spitting on her food. I've tried removing her and she just continues where ever I put her. I tell her she is done eating and will go directly to rest time instead. She will then drop to the floor and not walk. If I take her hand and ask her to walk with me downstairs to her cot, she will just go limp. I've carried her down and she continues on her cot-the crying, screaming and spitting. Not sure what else to do. I have also tried just letting her go at the table how she is and talking to the others about how the are eating so good and using their manners and being such big kids. That seems to only make it worse.
I am at a loss and ready to pull my hair out. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
I have one just like this. We are done to being excused early only once every few weeks, but she throws the same fit. In the beginning, she was doing it a lot more, but she realizes now I mean what I say.Just keep doing what you're doing, and she will eventually get that you mean it.

Mine gets ONE reminder "use your manners or you will be excused now" All mine LOVE to brush their teeth after lunch, so it's actually an incentive, becaiuse if she's having a fit, she misses out on that.
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frgsonmysox 04:08 PM 12-08-2011
This sounds like my 3 year old son. He is the most stubborn child and loses his legs an awful lot. We pick him up and gentle place him where he can't harm himself or others, and his meal is done at that time. We do count him to three to give him a moment to decide if he wants to correct his behaviour himself or have it corrected for him. Correcting it himself results in no consequences. Us correcting it means time out/removal of meal, ect.
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Tags:discipline - notifying parent, discipline plan, terminate - inappropriate behavior
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