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  #1  
Old 07-29-2016, 06:33 PM
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Default When to Report??

Before I start let me say that I realize I may have already dropped the ball here...

About 3 weeks ago I had a dcb (9 months old) get dropped off with a black eye, bruised nose/forhead, and scratches on his face. It looked awful, like he had been caught in a wildebeest stampede. Mom explains that he fell off of her bed and landed face down, she provides me with documentation from urgent care stating that it was just bruising and no concussion. She goes on to say that she was shocked that he was able to roll off the bed and that she didn't see it happen because she was DOWNSTAIRS DOING LAUNDRY!! (I know for a fact that she knows he can roll over because I've recently spoken with her about him not being able to sit up but that he was finally getting around by rolling.) Then she says "I guess I'll start leaving him in the crib if I can't watch him" as if it's a novel idea... I didn't think I should report her after this because while she clearly shouldn't have left him on a bed, it was obviously accidental and not malicious. Also she sought medical attention and they didn't feel the need to report, that I know of. I took photos of him at drop off and filed them away with the medical paperwork.

Jump to today... Dcb shows up with a bruised forehead and some minor scratches. Mom explains that once again, he rolled off the bed!!! I have no doubt she's telling the truth, that he fell off the bed. However for it to happen a second time seems like over the top carelessness. This is a very young first time mom and it's normal for parents to make honest mistakes. I keep thinking back to when I fell and dropped my infant son on his head in the driveway... but at this point I can honestly say I'm concerned for DCB's safety. In 6 years of doing this I've never needed to report a parent, and I'm really in a quandary. Am I worrying over nothing here?
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Old 07-29-2016, 06:37 PM
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Default When Does a Daycare Provide Report Suspected Abuse?

I believe you need to report whenever you have even the slightest inclination that a child could have been abused. You can not take her word for what happened. CPS will review with her and the home environment and decide. Here are some other threads: http://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=reporting

https://oca.georgia.gov/mandated-reporter

Last edited by Michael; 07-29-2016 at 07:51 PM.
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Old 07-29-2016, 06:57 PM
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I know up here in Ontario, if we see anything that could be abuse, even neglect, we are required to report it. Even if it is just rolling off the bed, you saw it twice. How many other times did he fall and not get as badly hurt. I hope I never have anything to report, but if there is any suspicion, for the child's sake, I will report it.
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Old 07-29-2016, 07:27 PM
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Any time you wonder if you need to report, you probably should. Good luck.
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Old 07-29-2016, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KTsKids View Post
Before I start let me say that I realize I may have already dropped the ball here...

About 3 weeks ago I had a dcb (9 months old) get dropped off with a black eye, bruised nose/forhead, and scratches on his face. It looked awful, like he had been caught in a wildebeest stampede. Mom explains that he fell off of her bed and landed face down, she provides me with documentation from urgent care stating that it was just bruising and no concussion. She goes on to say that she was shocked that he was able to roll off the bed and that she didn't see it happen because she was DOWNSTAIRS DOING LAUNDRY!! (I know for a fact that she knows he can roll over because I've recently spoken with her about him not being able to sit up but that he was finally getting around by rolling.) Then she says "I guess I'll start leaving him in the crib if I can't watch him" as if it's a novel idea... I didn't think I should report her after this because while she clearly shouldn't have left him on a bed, it was obviously accidental and not malicious. Also she sought medical attention and they didn't feel the need to report, that I know of. I took photos of him at drop off and filed them away with the medical paperwork.

Jump to today... Dcb shows up with a bruised forehead and some minor scratches. Mom explains that once again, he rolled off the bed!!! I have no doubt she's telling the truth, that he fell off the bed. However for it to happen a second time seems like over the top carelessness. This is a very young first time mom and it's normal for parents to make honest mistakes. I keep thinking back to when I fell and dropped my infant son on his head in the driveway... but at this point I can honestly say I'm concerned for DCB's safety. In 6 years of doing this I've never needed to report a parent, and I'm really in a quandary. Am I worrying over nothing here?
Yes, report for sure.
Even if its simple misguided parenting or extreme carelessness it needs to be reported.
Sometimes one call is nothing more than documented and filed away and sometimes that one phone is enough to make a case and they do a well child visit or investigate a bit deeper.

Our responsibility is to report any suspicions.
Its their job to figure out if its serious/factual or not

Sorry you are having to be in this position but glad you are there for him.
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Old 07-29-2016, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Sorry you are having to be in this position but glad you are there for him.
That's a big part of it. Sometimes other people in a child's life are the ones that save a child from trouble.
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Old 07-30-2016, 06:17 AM
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I'm glad you all seem to be on the same page! I was leaning towards making the call, but it gives me peace of mind to know other providers with more experience than me would do the same thing. I live and work alone, so before finding this forum I had no one to go to for another opinion. I really appreciate all the tips and advice I've gotten here!
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Old 07-30-2016, 06:46 AM
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I bet she co-sleeps and that is why he keeps falling out of the bed.
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Old 07-30-2016, 12:06 PM
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I would be calling. It's possible he never rolled off the bed. It's also possible she needs to be educated on supervision. Either way, the child is in danger.

I was a very young Mom, that isn't an excuse. If she honestly didn't know the first time, she sure did the second time.
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Old 07-30-2016, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I bet she co-sleeps and that is why he keeps falling out of the bed.
You're absolutely right, she does co-sleep, I assume she does anyway. After the first fall she made the comment "I guess it's time to clean out the crib and stop using it for dirty laundry". However they weren't sleeping when he fell, she said she had left him on her bed playing and gone downstairs to iron her clothes for work... When it comes to parenting she just doesn't seem to use much common sense. I get a lot of odd questions. A few days ago it was, " he's starting to move around a lot, do you think it's time for me to buy him some toys?" Or my personal favorite, the 2am text message when he was 9 weeks old "DCB keep's crying and his a$$ is super red, do I need to put something on it?"
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Old 07-30-2016, 03:43 PM
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Wow. Sounds like she really just doesn't know a lot about how to take care of a baby. It doesn't seem safe. My sister was very young with her first (as well as the next two!) But she had enough sense not to leave a baby on a bed and go do chores! I co-slept and neither of my children fell off the bed. She doesn't have to use the crib, she could have a mattress on the floor. Anyway, it's not about specifics. Its really about her needing to understand how fragile and dependent this baby is. Idk if social services getting your call would actually do anything to change her understanding. But what else can you do? Idk. I can't imagine they could force her to take a parenting class- without some sort of charges. Does she have any family to help her? It sounds like you are the experienced person she can go to when she has a question. Hm. Not a good situation. I hope CPS can actually help.
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Old 07-30-2016, 08:15 PM
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Some people have no clue on raising babies. They are just basically winging it and do their best to figure it out as they go along. 3 weeks ago a close friend was showing me a picture of her 7 month old niece in a packnplay. The aunt was telling me that the mom was looking for a used crib because the baby had been sleeping in the packnplay and was so tall when she pulled herself up she falls out of the packnplay. I looked at the picture and noticed right away that the baby had been sleeping in the basinet portion and nobody knew to remove it and have the baby sleep and play in the lower portion. None of these adults realized that the baby wasn't too tall for the thing they just never removed the basinet feature and they thought that was how it was supposed to be all the time.
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Old 07-30-2016, 09:36 PM
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Oh my goodness. I guess I can see how that could happen? I mean if you really hadn't been around any babies. It's just not my experience. I would think one would look for more information or look at the manual or the stickers that tell you ages and weights!? I'm trying not to say this but, that's just crazy!
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Old 07-30-2016, 11:55 PM
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She most likely needs some parenting classes, along with child safety information. Do you know if any of the grandparents are in the picture ?
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Old 07-31-2016, 05:59 AM
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Originally Posted by CalCare View Post
Anyway, it's not about specifics. Its really about her needing to understand how fragile and dependent this baby is.
This is so true. It's not simply an issue of falling of the bed, she seems to be lacking that "momma bear" instinct that makes us want to protect our children at all costs. That and common sense. She is definitely lacking common sense.
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Old 07-31-2016, 06:27 AM
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This is so true. It's not simply an issue of falling of the bed, she seems to be lacking that "momma bear" instinct that makes us want to protect our children at all costs. That and common sense. She is definitely lacking common sense.
Definitely

I've done a lot of babysitting, but don't have any children of my own, and I'm not even female so even the "momma bear" instinct wouldn't be expected, BUT, I've watched kids from newborn up and even for me, common sense and my love for children in general made me make sure they were safe. I automatically wanted to know everything, so if I felt there was something I needed to know, I either asked someone, or did research.

Some people, like her and a friend of mine, just don't have the common sense to be safe parents. Even training may not help because my friend took a parenting course because she had to if she wanted to keep her kids. She learned nothing from it, or she just didn't care.
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Old 07-31-2016, 06:35 AM
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She most likely needs some parenting classes, along with child safety information. Do you know if any of the grandparents are in the picture ?
So here's the ironic thing, before doing childcare my line of work was teaching said parenting classes. I worked for a children's hospital as well as a non-profit called Safe Kids. Safe Kids entire mission is to reduce unintentional childhood injuries through education. I'm a certified child passenger safety technician and also taught classes in water safety, baby proofing, crib safety, poison prevention etc. I think that's part of why I feel so guilty about the second fall occurring. After the first accident I of course had a chat with her about proper supervision and how to prevent falls in the future, but I clearly didn't get my point across. I don't want to come off as insulting or condescending by trying to teach her things that most people would consider obvious, but I feel like I need to have a chat with her about safety basics...

The maternal grandfather is in the picture but from what I can gather that's where she picked up her current parenting skills. She's in the midst of a custody dispute with the father and the judge has appointed a guardian ad litem for DCB. The guardian actually interviewed me when she was first appointed so I have her contact information. I've already gone ahead and made a report with dfcs but I've considered contacting the guardian. I realize she isn't a social worker but she is a lawyer who's job it is to look out for DCB's best interest. Would you goes go that far or just leave it up to DFCS?
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Old 07-31-2016, 06:41 AM
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Would you goes go that far or just leave it up to DFCS?
Tough question. I'm thinking that since DFCS knows, it's in their hands, but my gut instinct would say, no harm in telling because that person would have more opportunity to do something about it, or at least have more control over the child's safety. I'm one who always goes with gut instincts, so I'd probably tell.
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Old 07-31-2016, 07:41 AM
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So here's the ironic thing, before doing childcare my line of work was teaching said parenting classes. I worked for a children's hospital as well as a non-profit called Safe Kids. Safe Kids entire mission is to reduce unintentional childhood injuries through education. I'm a certified child passenger safety technician and also taught classes in water safety, baby proofing, crib safety, poison prevention etc. I think that's part of why I feel so guilty about the second fall occurring. After the first accident I of course had a chat with her about proper supervision and how to prevent falls in the future, but I clearly didn't get my point across. I don't want to come off as insulting or condescending by trying to teach her things that most people would consider obvious, but I feel like I need to have a chat with her about safety basics...

The maternal grandfather is in the picture but from what I can gather that's where she picked up her current parenting skills. She's in the midst of a custody dispute with the father and the judge has appointed a guardian ad litem for DCB. The guardian actually interviewed me when she was first appointed so I have her contact information. I've already gone ahead and made a report with dfcs but I've considered contacting the guardian. I realize she isn't a social worker but she is a lawyer who's job it is to look out for DCB's best interest. Would you goes go that far or just leave it up to DFCS?
no. Your job is to report. Contacting anyone else would be crossing a line in my opinion.

The guardian ad litem already knows you are the child's provider. DHS and CPS reports are shared with her since this is an on-going case so if she (or anyone in DHS or CPS) has any addition questions they'll contact you.

Getting overly involved (on a personal or emotional level) isnt always helpful or productive IME.

Last edited by Michael; 08-01-2016 at 02:02 PM.
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Old 08-01-2016, 08:01 AM
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no. Your job is to report. Contacting anyone else would be crossing a line in my opinion.
You're right! I would totally be crossing the line, which seems obvious as I read your reply!
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