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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Washing Machine Tragedy
nannyde 03:20 AM 04-04-2012
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/tod...202400944.html
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mac60 03:55 AM 04-04-2012
What a tragic story. Freak accident, this is what we would call it here. The man did say that the lid was left up like she always does. I would have to say the washer safety was not working correctly, as my washer will not go thru the complete cycle unless the lid is down. I will always say that daycare providers watch children much closer than their own parents in many instances.
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MommyofThree 04:20 AM 04-04-2012
I agree that it must of been broken because I thought that was a saftey thing all machines have that the lid must be down for it to work. so sad.
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Meyou 04:28 AM 04-04-2012
My washer is 25 years old and can run with the lid up except for the spin cycle.
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Kaddidle Care 04:36 AM 04-04-2012
How horrible. The older machines will run with the lid open - remember when you had to add the fabric softener during the rinse cycle?

Now the machines have that safety feature where it won't run unles the lid is closed and mine even latches for extra safety.
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saved4always 04:55 AM 04-04-2012
My old top load machine would fill with water and aggitate the clothes but would not spin if the top was up. So a child could totally drown in it. That is such an awful, scary story. I feel so bad for the poor mother!

When my kids were little, I would have thought nothing of starting the machine going and then remember I had other things to go into the machine and run upstairs to get them with the machine still open and filling. It is just not something that I would have thought about as a drowning hazard. With the daycare, it would not have been able to happen....even if I got to throw a load in, my dog is gated in the laundry room away from the kids, but with the machine and, to even get to do it, the clothes would already have to be in there. Plus, I have a front loader now and it locks when I turn it on so it is fully loaded before filling.

My heart goes out to this poor mother.
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nannyde 06:00 AM 04-04-2012
Mine just has to be shut on the spin cycle. I got it used 18 years ago from one of my dc moms and it's lived with only one minor repair. I do about three loads a day so it's been a good machine. (not to jinx it now and have it blow up). When it did have problems it was within two days of my dishwasher and my fridge breakdown so I had the fortune of three repairs in a couple of days.

One thing I think of in this story is what the legal consequence to her will be for the lack of supervision. My guess is it will be zero.

If this would have happened with the same aged child, with the same machine, at the same time in a child care provider home the consequences would be HUGE. The provider would have been liable criminally for lack of supervision.

This is the kind of thing I'm speaking of when I say that the care of other peoples children is nothing like the care of your own. This parent was allowed to leave her really young toddler unsupervised for a pretty good amount of time and have access to water and have the worst possible scenario happen. I'll bet you the "legal" consequence to her will be nothing.

Now there may be more to the story but if this ends in just a "freak" accident where she SHOULD have been supervising the child but did not KNOW the risks of water access... the case will most likely close quickly.

Parents are allowed to make critical and fatal mistakes with their children because they are their children and they have the most to loose if death happens. We aren't allowed to allow a one year old baby to run the house and climb without having an adult doing direct supervision. He had to have shown her his climbing ability LONG before this happened to be that skilled of a climber.

So when you have a child who wants out of the supervised area to run the house remember this story. When you have one hanging on the gate because what's on the other side of the gate is a better gig than what is within the gated area.... It's okay for us to limit "run the house" and "climb the ___" because we can't take the risk that something like this will happen. Parents can. We can't.
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countrymom 06:02 AM 04-04-2012
hmm, I don't know, its a sad thing that it happened, but I will guarentee you that she was gone for awhile. Sorry, I'm trying to figure out how a child managed to climb ontop of a washer, second, there is an agitator in the middle, so that will stop him from fallining in all the way. Also, my washer was 10 yrs old (before it went out) but it had a function that when the lid was up the water stopped. I don't know, I'm one to analyze everything, and this story is just one that has too many loop holes. But I have to agree, that I think as providers we do watch the children way better than the parents.
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Heidi 07:58 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Meyou:
My washer is 25 years old and can run with the lid up except for the spin cycle.
Mine is 6 years old and does the same thing...
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Lucy 09:18 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Meyou:
My washer is 25 years old and can run with the lid up except for the spin cycle.
Same for me. It only has to be closed for the spin cycle. But.... if I hold the little button down, making the machine "think" the lid is closed, it will spin.
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Live and Learn 09:27 AM 04-04-2012
Nan, your son is gorgeous!! That hair!!!

No words to add to this senseless preventable tragedy.
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Country Kids 08:51 AM 04-04-2012
What I'm going to ask, I want everyone to truly think about.

If this mom happened to be one of us and told her story here, would everyone tell her they feel she should be punished through the courts? Would you say you were negligent and killed your child? Would you let her know what a horrible mother she was?

Now, we have had three stories on here about providers either own children dying or a family member. The only one that even needed to go through the courts was the boyfriend that beat the little girl. Everyone agreed on that!

The other two stories just break my heart also and everyone agreed they were accidents. Now if you read about those in the paper, didn't know the person would you say they same thing or would you say they were being neglectful and something needed to be done?

Michael, just posted a great thread on "Who's on the other side of the computor." Remember know one really knows who reads this and the effect your words may have on them. I thank the those that put their stories on here, that had the courage to let us know what happened to their children. I'm so sorry for your losses and know that day you lost part of yourself with your child.
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Blackcat31 09:07 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
What I'm going to ask, I want everyone to truly think about.

If this mom happened to be one of us and told her story here, would everyone tell her they feel she should be punished through the courts? Would you say you were negligent and killed your child? Would you let her know what a horrible mother she was?
Now, we have had three stories on here about providers either own children dying or a family member. The only one that even needed to go through the courts was the boyfriend that beat the little girl. Everyone agreed on that!

The other two stories just break my heart also and everyone agreed they were accidents. Now if you read about those in the paper, didn't know the person would you say they same thing or would you say they were being neglectful and something needed to be done?

Michael, just posted a great thread on "Who's on the other side of the computor." Remember know one really knows who reads this and the effect your words may have on them. I thank the those that put their stories on here, that had the courage to let us know what happened to their children. I'm so sorry for your losses and know that day you lost part of yourself with your child.
I reply and post on this board exactly as I would in real life. I don't change who I am and how I feel because I am typing vs speaking directly to someone.


Something VERY similar happened in my community a few weeks ago where a gal was watching her friends almost 2 yr old at a pool party and she lost track of him and he fell into the hot tub and drown. The gal that was babysitting this child was a former dcm of mine.

She was/is devasted and I completely understand but I still think it was her responsibility to watch this child. She failed and failed badly so do I feel for her? Absolutely! But it doesnt change the fact that she could have done things differently.

She COULD HAVE prevented what happened. Whether or not someone could have prevented something is a major factor in every type of similar situation.
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Country Kids 09:09 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I reply and post on this board exactly as I would in real life. I don't change who I am and how I feel because I am typing vs speaking directly to someone.


Something VERY similar happened in my community a few weeks ago where a gal was watching her friends almost 2 yr old at a pool party and she lost track of him and he fell into the hot tub and drown. The gal that was babysitting this child was a former dcm of mine.

She was/is devasted and I completely understand but I still think it was her responsibility to watch this child. She failed and failed badly so do I feel for her? Absolutely! But it doesnt change the fact that she could have done things differently.

She COULD HAVE prevented what happened. Whether or not someone could have prevented something is a major factor in every type of similar situation.
Did you tell her all of htis blackcat? Thats what I'm asking very seriously. If you would see her out are you going to let her know how you feel?
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Blackcat31 10:33 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Did you tell her all of htis blackcat? Thats what I'm asking very seriously. If you would see her out are you going to let her know how you feel?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I did say something to her. I understand that she may feel awful about the whole thing but bottom line is she COULD have done something to prevent it and didn't.

Did I say those words to her? Yes, I did. I didn't say them so bluntly but I did let her know that she could have done something different. She could have prevented this whole situation had she not felt the need to go outside the hotel/pool area and have a smoke.

I told her it was a shame that her need to smoke outweighed the right of the mother of the dead child to have him supervised to the best of this gals ability.

I was VERY clear that I do not feel it was a tragic accident. She knows exactly how I feel.

So yes, in response to your question, I did share my thoughts and feelings with her.

I also stand by my statement that I do not change what I think and feel between posting here and what I think and feel in real life.
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JenNJ 09:47 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
What I'm going to ask, I want everyone to truly think about.

If this mom happened to be one of us and told her story here, would everyone tell her they feel she should be punished through the courts? Would you say you were negligent and killed your child? Would you let her know what a horrible mother she was?
I don't think a moment of neglect makes a horrible mother. So, I wouldn't say that.

Would I go out of my way to throw salt in the wound of a mourning mother? No, that would be cruel. Just because I have an opinion doesn't mean I have to share it.

My opinions don't change just because I am online. I would still have the same opinion. That negligent caretakers, no matter who they are, should be investigated and charged if the evidence deems it necessary. Accidents are accidents. Neglect is neglect. I believe that neglect deserves criminal charges.
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MrsB 10:20 AM 04-04-2012
Thank you all for your well wishes! Although if I could do anything to bring him back I would, I can't imagine who I would be today not going through it all.

I guess my point is that all accidents are preventable. In my case, Dad could have checked the door, he could of overturned the bucket of water, he could have taken baby upstairs with him, he could have left him in his high chair, he could have dropped him in his pack n play, he could have changed the 2 yr old downstairs.

I also agree that every case should be investigated and all the details taken into consideration.

In this case I dont feel like I have enough information to pass judgement on the mom that she should be held criminaly liable. Even with her reading the magazine. After I got to hear all the details, I may change my mind and say it was negligent and deserves additional punishment. Just can't form one on the information given. You just never know with news these days how they spin articles either.

Don't get me wrong I am not saying that all accidents should just be summed up as accidents either.

Just after all my experiences, I decided to refuse to pass judgement.

My major issue with these types of situations is that families/society want to see people "pay" and want "justice" to be served. My opinion regarless of what the circumstances or who was at fault whether it be a friend/ DC provider/ parent who was responsible, There is no justice when a child dies, ever. Accident or otherwise. Someone paying for the loss of my son, doesnt make my pain or the loss any less.
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Country Kids 10:28 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by MrsB:
Thank you all for your well wishes! Although if I could do anything to bring him back I would, I can't imagine who I would be today not going through it all.

I guess my point is that all accidents are preventable. In my case, Dad could have checked the door, he could of overturned the bucket of water, he could have taken baby upstairs with him, he could have left him in his high chair, he could have dropped him in his pack n play, he could have changed the 2 yr old downstairs.

I also agree that every case should be investigated and all the details taken into consideration.

In this case I dont feel like I have enough information to pass judgement on the mom that she should be held criminaly liable. Even with her reading the magazine. After I got to hear all the details, I may change my mind and say it was negligent and deserves additional punishment. Just can't form one on the information given. You just never know with news these days how they spin articles either.

Don't get me wrong I am not saying that all accidents should just be summed up as accidents either.

Just after all my experiences, I decided to refuse to pass judgement.

My major issue with these types of situations is that families/society want to see people "pay" and want "justice" to be served. My opinion regarless of what the circumstances or who was at fault whether it be a friend/ DC provider/ parent who was responsible, There is no justice when a child dies, ever. Accident or otherwise. Someone paying for the loss of my son, doesnt make my pain or the loss any less.


Very well said Mrs. B. I would like to bring something up that you said. You said all the things that your ex husband could have done but didn't. When I was saying about passing judgement if this lady came to the board, I was thinking of the things your ex husband could have done. Everyone said to you-we are sorry, and yes that was an accident. Yet you came up with many things your ex husband could have done to prevent it. Not one person said he was negligent and should be charged with a crime, they all saw it as an accident.

Thats why I was wondering if she came on the board and wrote her story would people say, yes it was an accident or say she was negligent to her.
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Heidi 10:37 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by MrsB:
Thank you all for your well wishes! Although if I could do anything to bring him back I would, I can't imagine who I would be today not going through it all.

I guess my point is that all accidents are preventable. In my case, Dad could have checked the door, he could of overturned the bucket of water, he could have taken baby upstairs with him, he could have left him in his high chair, he could have dropped him in his pack n play, he could have changed the 2 yr old downstairs.

I also agree that every case should be investigated and all the details taken into consideration.

In this case I dont feel like I have enough information to pass judgement on the mom that she should be held criminaly liable. Even with her reading the magazine. After I got to hear all the details, I may change my mind and say it was negligent and deserves additional punishment. Just can't form one on the information given. You just never know with news these days how they spin articles either.

Some of these stories are funny now because nothing happened. The ones where something does clearly aren't. I guess I'm just saying, anything can happen, and we should count our blessings every day!
Don't get me wrong I am not saying that all accidents should just be summed up as accidents either.

Just after all my experiences, I decided to refuse to pass judgement.

My major issue with these types of situations is that families/society want to see people "pay" and want "justice" to be served. My opinion regarless of what the circumstances or who was at fault whether it be a friend/ DC provider/ parent who was responsible, There is no justice when a child dies, ever. Accident or otherwise. Someone paying for the loss of my son, doesnt make my pain or the loss any less.
Unfortunately, these things do happen quite often. We can only be as careful as we can. Tired parents leave their sleeping infant in the car instead of going to daycare. Not that many years ago, a young couple raced their fevered toddler to the E.R, and because she was so miserable, mom took her on her lap and held her. Someone ran into them, and the child died. They prosected the parents. I'm not sure I agree. Of course, she should have been in a carseat, but I can understand a young couple thinking it would be ok just this once when she was inconsolable.

My ex and I once found our friend's toddler on top of a stack of oil cans at a big-box store. They were around the corner, and we just happened on the scene. They had parked the cart right next to the stack, and he just scaled it! It could easily have been a tragedy! My own sons decided once it was a GREAT idea to make an enormous hole in the sand (by our lake house) and climb in. They were 11 & 13 at the time. With just the right conditions, it could have been a disaster. Gosh, for that matter, I am suprised my husband or I survived our childhood sometimes. He screamed around on mini bikes at 9, sans helmet. I once pulled the door open in a taxi cab in Germany as a toddler (in the days before carseats), and held on for dear life as we went around a corner. My mom said she saw the cab driver age ten years right before her eyes. Vacations used to be they'd throw you in the back seat, toss a sausage back there, and take off. Seat belts? Heck, we used to lay in the back of the station wagon and "camp" the whole way!
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Country Kids 10:56 AM 04-04-2012
I'm surprised many of us have made it this far growing up in the times we did. There were no "safety" laws in effect so did alot of children die because of this and that is why we have the laws now or where they just put in place because none were there. Where our parents deemed "neglectful",-no.

I've had my share of accidents, near misses, and what were my parents thinking! To this day though no broken bones, have all my organs but my gallbladder and love to remember the way I use to play.

The first month of kindergarten my son broke his arm at school but you know what things happen. The teacher couldn't have stopped it and live went on. No, he didn't die but he couldn't have been injured alot worse but he was being looked out for that day.

BBO, if you did that taxi thing now, I'm sure the authorities would have you in foster care within the hour. I remember many trips laying in the back window of the car lounging in the sun on a trip-boy were those the days!
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MrsB 11:03 AM 04-04-2012
This reminds me of when I was a child. I was the oldest of 5 and we went on road trips all the time. My dad raced motorcycles. We too got thrown in the back of my dads van, we had a full size bed in the back and no seats. We stopped at a gas station and all used the potty. Everyone got back in and mom and dad would have us count off. Well someone counted off for my brother he was 8 or 9 at the time. He got left at the gas station. We didnt notice until about a half hour down the road. We got stopped by the police on our way back to get him. They had him. My brother was consoled, put back in the back with us and we were on the road again. I dont really recall my parents feelings at the time but I am sure they felt aweful! My brother didnt have any lasting effects from it. On occasion it gets brought up jokingly and still no one has admitted that they were the one that called his number!

Guess this kind of proves my point. No one could say what would have happened, had something serious happened to my brother. But throwing my parents in jail and taking 4 other kids away from their family unit I am not sure would have been fair either.

For the record, those family road trips, were some of the best days of my life!
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MissK 09:43 AM 04-04-2012
Wow - how sad!
I have front loaders so of course nothing will happen with the door open, but we have had older top loads where it will fill with water just won't spin if the lid is open.

Accidents like this are so scary, things that could happen to anybody...
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Live and Learn 09:48 AM 04-04-2012
You have a long haired son too?

My sons are all wearing their hair short NOW but when my oldest was a 5th grader he grew his hair out and donated it too locks of love. I loved his long surfer boy curls!!
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nannyde 09:52 AM 04-04-2012
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
You have a long haired son too?

My sons are all wearing their hair short NOW but when my oldest was a 5th grader he grew his hair out and donated it too locks of love. I loved his long surfer boy curls!!
Yes for as long as I could get by with it. He went to short hair in fourth grade. We donated his hair to locks of love too.
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