So first off, before I am ripped to shreds....I have my "regulars" pay up front before care is given in a week.... I took an acquaintances school agers for the summer, did not complete a contract for this as it is temporary... they are 4 days a week.... mom has primary custody; however, had to work late both thurs and friday due to a coworker having a baby so on drop off on Friday I was told dad will be picking up and paying.... pick up time came and gma picked up as dad called her and said he was stuck at work.... no payment... it's now saturday evening and no payment (mom said she had to get it from dad and would get it to me.) Anyways, I have had enough of people thinking this is "ok".... HOWEVER, I am stuck as to how to approach it... what should I say to mom (as it's not her fault) to actually get payment AND what should I require for the future? Do I require they pay 2 weeks (last week and this next week) before further care is given? I am extremely nervous...

I am frustrated as it is not free to care for children! I spent every dime I had to do a $500 store run on Thursday (anticipating their payment so I could still have money for family things this weekend.)

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Why oh why do some of us find asking for our money so difficult? They're the ones who should feel badly, yet we're the ones that dig our toes in the sand, hemming and hawing and sheepishly ask for OUR money. I do the same, although I have gotten better. (it's only taken me 30 years!)
I would write something up, have them sign it, you sign it, keep a copy for you and give them one. Include a late payment fee. And here comes the hardest part....enforce it.
Maybe you'll have to call them and tell them they need to bring payment when they drop off their child or else you won't be able to let her stay? I know it's not easy. But please don't do what I did for so long and become a doormat. Some parents will use you if you let them.

I simply have never understood why paying childcare isn't one of some family's priorities. Do they think we're in the business so we can pay to care for their child/ren? Do they get upset when they don't get their paycheck? I realize life does happen but you'd think they'd do what they could to make sure their child's carer got paid! Luckily, I don't have this problem now but I remember a few I had to speak up and say Hey, I need to get paid.

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I would be sending a text reminding them their payment is PAST DUE & they now owed a late fee & no care will be given until payment is received. No pay = no play

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What most upsets me is it's week 1!!

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I'd hand her a copy of your contract and policy handbook on Monday. I would explain that you realized this weekend that you hadn't given her a copy and that even though her kids will only be enrolled on a temporary basis, she will still need to read through the handbook and sign the contract. I would tell her that both need to be returned on Tuesday. Then I would tell her that while I understand things come up unexpectedly, tuition needs to be paid on time every week and that ordinarily, if payments aren't made on time, you attach late fees. Since she may not have been aware of this policy, I'd offer to waive the late fee this time. I would explain that regardless of who drops off or picks up, on-time payment is still expected. I'd also ask her to start paying for the week on Monday morning at drop off vs. Fridays.

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I had a friend who I was giving a HUGE discount for care for summer each year. The first year, she tried to tell me she didn't have any money at all and could I accept it a week later. Since she was a friend, I said "sure". The next week, it was another problem. I told her "You know, I waited a week already to help you out, and this is what I was afraid would happen once you got behind. No I can't accept it another week late, because each time i do it, it'll get harder to catch up. If you want to bring "E" you will have to pay me in advance like every1 else. My husband won't allow me to give you another week without payment"

She found a way to come with both weeks payments that afternoon. She was angry with me but she got over it because NO ONE, and I mean NOT A SINGLE other person would give her the deal I did. (And she sure did check!) I told her that if she ever went behind my back again to look for other care because of payment issues, she could forget me ever doing her any other favors ever again. I hate when people pull crap like this after I bend over backward for them and it made it worse that she was supposed to be my "friend".

I kept those kids 3 summers. Last summer she had a hard time paying too. Offered me housecleaning in exchange for last 2 weeks care, which I agreed to. Stupid, stupid stupid me, because do you think she gave me the housecleaning she promised? Nope. And she never picks up her phone anymore.
Never again will I do favors like this for "friends" or acquaintances. You only end up screwing yourself; so they are either my clients (temporary OR permanent) or they don't come to my care.

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Actually it IS mom's fault. Regardless of what her work situation was, SHE is responsible for making sure payments are made to her provider.

If she send someone else to pick up, then she better make sure that that person pays you. (It's Dad's fault too so I don't mean to imply this is a mother-only problem)

You need to stop looking it like that.....don't make excuses for the client (most of them have no issues coming up with their own... don't help them do it).

I think once you get over that hurdle, money issues aren't so hard to deal with or handle.

I am a very upfront person about this. I am not rude or bitchy. Just firm and direct. I did provide the services, you (client) pay for them. It isn't a hard concept.

I'd call this mother up (I don't care that it is Sunday) and I would say "Hi Jane! It's daycare provider. I just wanted to give you a call and let you know that I never did get paid on Friday. I wanted to give you a head's up that no services will be provided until payment in full is made. Normally my late fee is $10 per day but if you have payment in full for last week AND payment up front for the upcoming week, I will waive that fee. If not, I am afraid that I won't be able to continue caring for your children. Needing to get your pay check on time is something I am sure you understand. Thanks!"

Just keep it friendly but firm. Don't bargain and don't make exceptions. The child care profession will chew you up and spit you out if you don't figure out how to be firm from the get go.

Too many good providers are run out of business by parents who treat their caregivers like an "option" rather than a needed and valuable expense. Stop allow this person to treat you this way!

You and your services ARE valuable and important. If you don't feel that strongly about what you do and it's importance (including payment for it) why should the parent either? kwim?

Stand strong and be proud of what you do!

.... and what you do requires payment from the parent....

You CAN do this. Be polite, friendly and most of all FIRM.

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So, I was exchanging texts, like usual, with said mother yesterday... she informed me that she had been visiting sick gma in the hospital but she spoke with dad who informed her he was working an event through his employer until "late saturday" ... she told me she would get together with him and bring it to me today, Sunday and apologized for being tardy.. well NO text... NO money.... I am so beyond angry at this point... I feel like I need to send her a message that states tuition will be due for last week as well as the upcoming week on Tuesday, prior to any care being given. I have 5 children myself and understand things come up but honestly I am feeling like this is intentional.

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So.. I sent mom a message stating payment will be expected prior to first day of care each week... no reply as of yet but I sent it... first step done.... I said I understand you are not directly responsible; however, I need to require this to help cover expenses.

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Is her last week next week?

I like the working Black cat used, very straight to the point.

Dont let these parents give you a guilt trip...I am so over sob stories, that may sound cold, but we all have one.

So I guess this is a lesson learned? require contract no matter what, and stick with it

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Yep, and a bill is a bill is a bill. I would bet they don't call their mortgage company and tell them their husband needs to write out the check, but he was working late last night.

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I'm on board with everything else you said, but couldn't let the above go by without a what the....

I don't mean to offend, and I know some marriages work this way, but this is YOUR business, and YOU should make the rules and decisions.

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I cringe when I hear providers use their husband as the excuse. I know they think it may come off as "I'm really the understanding one, and it's my husband who is the heavy" but it just winds up coming off as childish.

How about, I'm providing a service and you need to pay for it?

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It is not her last week, in fact, last week was their first week of about 12! I of course got no reply so we shall see. Just makes me mad! Why folks feel the need to abuse the generosity of others is beyond me..... sure makes me wonder what happened to us as a people!

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I hate to say it, but being in this business you are going to see more taking advantage and looking out for número uno, than you ever imagined.

I have had so many DCF who I thought I was close with, would bend the rules for, and go above and beyond for - all the while thinking they would do the same for me. And in 99% of the cases, the minute something wasn't benefitting them, they were angry/upset/volatile. It blew me away, I assumed our relationship was mutual, and it was not. Sometimes I find myself trying to accommodate parents/children, and then realize if they were having to do even 1/4 of the accommodating I am or were a fraction as unhappy as I am with their child in care, they would be looking for care elsewhere.


It can be a really disheartening part of this business. But once you have been burned by a client you went above and beyond for, it makes you run things more and more like a business.

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Agree with the bolded 100%, sad but usually true!

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When is this family's next day of care. I would be sure to hold firm & not accept child without upfront payment. turn them away at the door if necessary.

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Next day of care is supposed to be tomorrow.... I have yet to hear a peep from mom... not even an answer to my question if the kids are coming. They are my earliest drop off (about 45) min before my next family.... would be nice to know one way or the other so I can judge my day!

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