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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCB Being Brought Late Without Breakfast
lovemydaycare0912 11:53 AM 01-27-2016
Hello again,
Ive mentioned earlier my cut off time for breakfast is 830am. Any child coming in after this time, needs to have been fed breakfast at home.
Here's my dilemma. I have a dcb about 18 months whose parents are now split up. When it's dads time to drop dcb off, he usually comes after 830am. Now he knows breakfast is over at this time but proceeds to say dcb had a bottle, doesn't mention breakfast. Mind you dcb is not on bottle here at daycare but thats something else. I sent home a letter to both parents 1 week ago in case he "forgot.". Today, dad drops off dcb and tells my dh he had a bottle.
I don't know if I should tell mom or wait until I see dad to address it again. I hate that he constantly brings dcb here without being fed. If I speak to him and he continues to bring dcb without breakfast, what should my next step be?
Thanks for your help.
Ive mentioned earlier my cut off time for breakfast is 830am. Any child coming in after this time, needs to have been fed breakfast at home.
Here's my dilemma. I have a dcb about 18 months whose parents are now split up. When it's dads time to drop dcb off, he usually comes after 830am. Now he knows breakfast is over at this time but proceeds to say dcb had a bottle, doesn't mention breakfast. Mind you dcb is not on bottle here at daycare but thats something else. I sent home a letter to both parents 1 week ago in case he "forgot.". Today, dad drops off dcb and tells my dh he had a bottle.
I don't know if I should tell mom or wait until I see dad to address it again. I hate that he constantly brings dcb here without being fed. If I speak to him and he continues to bring dcb without breakfast, what should my next step be?
Thanks for your help.
Cat Herder 11:59 AM 01-27-2016
Please don't triangulate between parents, it will only hurt DCB down the road.
By bottle does he mean formula? If so that is a more complete meal than most.
Maybe give it a pass since it would be more a parenting choice of formula or yogurt, toast and eggs. KWIM?
Also, consider making your "breakfast ends" and "no drop-off after" times both 830. Solves all your problems permanently.
By bottle does he mean formula? If so that is a more complete meal than most.
Maybe give it a pass since it would be more a parenting choice of formula or yogurt, toast and eggs. KWIM?
Also, consider making your "breakfast ends" and "no drop-off after" times both 830. Solves all your problems permanently.
lovemydaycare0912 12:03 PM 01-27-2016
He just gives him milk. And sometimes too much where he ends up throwing up while he's here.
No drop offs after 830 wouldnt work for us but that is a good idea. Thanks.
No drop offs after 830 wouldnt work for us but that is a good idea. Thanks.
Cat Herder 12:12 PM 01-27-2016
Ok, just milk. 
I would schedule a conference assuming he simply does not understand that can be viewed as nutritional neglect and you are a mandated reporter. Never put that out there as a threat, use it so he understands WHY this issue is such a big deal and could get you in trouble. He probably never heard of food programs or meal counts.
Obviously we are worried about DCB. However, It is possible Dad thinks waiting until morning snack is no biggie, he does it himself most mornings trying to get to work on time and the kid barely eats anything he gives him, anyway...
After the conference, turn him away at the door if he shows up without feeding his son breakfast. He can come back after breakfast. The same thing you would do with Mom.
Rinse. Repeat.
Do not involve Mom at all, though. What happens on Dad's time is none of her business unless the child is in danger.
I would schedule a conference assuming he simply does not understand that can be viewed as nutritional neglect and you are a mandated reporter. Never put that out there as a threat, use it so he understands WHY this issue is such a big deal and could get you in trouble. He probably never heard of food programs or meal counts.
Obviously we are worried about DCB. However, It is possible Dad thinks waiting until morning snack is no biggie, he does it himself most mornings trying to get to work on time and the kid barely eats anything he gives him, anyway...
After the conference, turn him away at the door if he shows up without feeding his son breakfast. He can come back after breakfast. The same thing you would do with Mom.
Rinse. Repeat.Do not involve Mom at all, though. What happens on Dad's time is none of her business unless the child is in danger.
lovemydaycare0912 12:24 PM 01-27-2016
Thank you. I'll find out if he is deopping him off tomorrow and talk with him then. We dont even do morning snack. Dad knows next meal is lunch. I feel like he's just lazy but I will try to word as best as possible so it doesn't come off as rude. Thanks for your input.
Cat Herder 12:33 PM 01-27-2016
You are very welcome. 
Thank you for considering it.
Thank you for considering it.
Blackcat31 01:07 PM 01-27-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Do not involve Mom at all, though. What happens on Dad's time is none of her business unless the child is in danger.
Do not involve Mom at all, though. What happens on Dad's time is none of her business unless the child is in danger.
rosieteddy 08:35 AM 01-28-2016
In my care bottles ended at 12 months.I would write down some breakfast ideas for Dad.He may just be lost on what to feed.Make it easy Toast, half banana cup of milk.Pancake ,strawberries milk ect.I also would stress that the child needs to be there by 8;15 no later if not fed. You may have to send away or loosen the policy. I would send a letter home for everyone about the meal times and why its important to be there on time. I stopped feeding breakfast on arrival,for just this reason.I changed my program to all children arriving fed something at home.Then at 9:15 we had breakfast snack.I served enough for it to count as breakfast -grain, fruit and milk. Then we went out before lunch and everyone had energy to run around and also came in with an appetite for lunch.Good luck.
caligirl 08:57 AM 01-28-2016
I take the kids off the bottle at 12 months. If the parents don't want to, then that's their problem. I don't like it personally, but since it's their child, I just ignore it. They know that I don't give bottles after 1 yr.
The breakfast thing however, would irritate me. I've had that problem here years ago. I start early. The first one here is dropped off at 630 am. I serve breakfast between 7-7:30. I tell the parents right away when I sign them up. I tell them that they need to be here before 7:30 if they need breakfast here. I'm cleaning up at 7:30. If they aren't here by then, then they will be getting their snack at 9:30. Lunch is at noon. I've had parents come in at 8:00 apologizing for being late and that they hadn't had time to give them breakfast. I just say 'well, snack is at 9:30, so I'll be sure they get an extra portion then'. They figure it out REAL fast
The breakfast thing however, would irritate me. I've had that problem here years ago. I start early. The first one here is dropped off at 630 am. I serve breakfast between 7-7:30. I tell the parents right away when I sign them up. I tell them that they need to be here before 7:30 if they need breakfast here. I'm cleaning up at 7:30. If they aren't here by then, then they will be getting their snack at 9:30. Lunch is at noon. I've had parents come in at 8:00 apologizing for being late and that they hadn't had time to give them breakfast. I just say 'well, snack is at 9:30, so I'll be sure they get an extra portion then'. They figure it out REAL fast
mommyneedsadayoff 10:15 AM 01-28-2016
I will go out on a limb and say that dcd probably gets dck right out of bed, puts him in the car seat and hands him a bottle. He doesn't want to feed him real food or do anything beyond what is necessary to get him to your house. I would be having a serious talk with him or turning him away at the door. If he wants you to feed him, he needs to get his booty out of bed earlier and bring the kid before your meal cut off time.
Blackcat31 10:22 AM 01-28-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I will go out on a limb and say that dcd probably gets dck right out of bed, puts him in the car seat and hands him a bottle. He doesn't want to feed him real food or do anything beyond what is necessary to get him to your house. I would be having a serious talk with him or turning him away at the door. If he wants you to feed him, he needs to get his booty out of bed earlier and bring the kid before your meal cut off time.
I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad". I will go out on a limb and say that dcd probably gets dck right out of bed, puts him in the car seat and hands him a bottle. He doesn't want to feed him real food or do anything beyond what is necessary to get him to your house. I would be having a serious talk with him or turning him away at the door. If he wants you to feed him, he needs to get his booty out of bed earlier and bring the kid before your meal cut off time.
ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.
sharlan 11:31 AM 01-28-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".
ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.
Guilty as charged. NEVER AGAIN!I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".
ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.
mommyneedsadayoff 11:47 AM 01-28-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".
ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.
I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".
ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.
So true! I don't buy the whole "not sure what to feed him"! I imagine dad has eaten breakfast a few times in his life and honestly, if he is split from his wife/partner, one of the best things he can do is sit down and have a good breakfast with his child. Great time for bonding! My dh makes pancakes every sunday morning while I sleep in. I don't care for pancakes and frankly, I just want to sleep in! But my kids look forward to it and love helping him whip them up! It is their special time and I love that he takes the time to do it every week. Now, if I could only get him to clean a bathroom every once in awhile, we would be golden!
lovemydaycare0912 11:53 AM 01-28-2016
Oh no he definitely gets him and dcb out of bed, in carseat with a bottle and then to me. He wasn't married to mom, and there is no sympathy here for him.
I actually realized dcb's hours are changing bc of moms work schedule. I told her if hes here 830 or after he needs to eat breakfast at home. So Im waiting until Friday to see what drop off time she licka to go over it with mom and dad one last time before I turn them away.
I actually realized dcb's hours are changing bc of moms work schedule. I told her if hes here 830 or after he needs to eat breakfast at home. So Im waiting until Friday to see what drop off time she licka to go over it with mom and dad one last time before I turn them away.
lovemykidstoo 11:58 AM 01-28-2016
I have parents do this all the time and then you find out that the child has been up for quite some time, so why the heck don't they feed them? Drives me crazy too. I hear alot that they had the child at the table with a cup of milk or a bottle. If they're having something to drink, at least give them a bowl of cereal and a banana. If it's past breakfast, I simply say that it won't be long until morning snack and they act like they don't even hear it. My son was in daycare for almost 3 years and never once did I not feed him breakfast and he was at daycare by 7:30 every morning. Extremely lazy parenting.
Ariana 06:02 PM 01-28-2016
This wouldn't bother me unless the kid got cranky from being hungry. Kid wouldn't be fed until next meal time. Not my problem.
mommyneedsadayoff 06:26 PM 01-28-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
This wouldn't bother me unless the kid got cranky from being hungry. Kid wouldn't be fed until next meal time. Not my problem.
I get what you are saying, but I think it is wrong to not feed a kid till lunch. A belly full of milk just sounds yucky to me (enough for him to throw up sometimes) and he has to be lacking in energy and attitude if he doesn't get to eat an actual meal till 11 or later. This a parent problem, but it becomes mine when they choose not to feed their kid, so I am forced to put it back on them.This wouldn't bother me unless the kid got cranky from being hungry. Kid wouldn't be fed until next meal time. Not my problem.
Ariana 03:58 PM 01-29-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I get what you are saying, but I think it is wrong to not feed a kid till lunch. A belly full of milk just sounds yucky to me (enough for him to throw up sometimes) and he has to be lacking in energy and attitude if he doesn't get to eat an actual meal till 11 or later. This a parent problem, but it becomes mine when they choose not to feed their kid, so I am forced to put it back on them.
It IS wrong but what can you do about his choice not to feed his kid? I get what you are saying, but I think it is wrong to not feed a kid till lunch. A belly full of milk just sounds yucky to me (enough for him to throw up sometimes) and he has to be lacking in energy and attitude if he doesn't get to eat an actual meal till 11 or later. This a parent problem, but it becomes mine when they choose not to feed their kid, so I am forced to put it back on them.
She will either have to feed him outside of her typical meal time or demand he be fed before arriving which will be impossible to enforce. It is ultimately up to her what she chooses to do. I have a child who gets fed Goldfish crackers every day before coming for lunch. She doesn't eat her healthy lunch because dad wants her to be quiet in the car. Not much I can do about that!
mommyneedsadayoff 04:33 PM 01-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
It IS wrong but what can you do about his choice not to feed his kid?
She will either have to feed him outside of her typical meal time or demand he be fed before arriving which will be impossible to enforce. It is ultimately up to her what she chooses to do. I have a child who gets fed Goldfish crackers every day before coming for lunch. She doesn't eat her healthy lunch because dad wants her to be quiet in the car. Not much I can do about that!
I totally understand and my point is mainly that she shouldn't accept the kid into care if he has not been fed. That is the only thing we can do, unless we want to extend breakfast time or feed them outside the regular schedule.It IS wrong but what can you do about his choice not to feed his kid?
She will either have to feed him outside of her typical meal time or demand he be fed before arriving which will be impossible to enforce. It is ultimately up to her what she chooses to do. I have a child who gets fed Goldfish crackers every day before coming for lunch. She doesn't eat her healthy lunch because dad wants her to be quiet in the car. Not much I can do about that!
Blackcat31 05:03 PM 01-29-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I totally understand and my point is mainly that she shouldn't accept the kid into care if he has not been fed. That is the only thing we can do, unless we want to extend breakfast time or feed them outside the regular schedule.
This is similar to those posts about parents not sending outside gear and providers taking the kid out in whatever they came in, even if its cold. I totally understand and my point is mainly that she shouldn't accept the kid into care if he has not been fed. That is the only thing we can do, unless we want to extend breakfast time or feed them outside the regular schedule.
If they dont come with the right clothes its the parents responsibility........... until the provider accepts the child into HER care at which point it becomes HER responsibility.
lovemydaycare0912 06:32 PM 01-29-2016
Thank you so much for ALLLLLLLL of your feedback. Dcdad didnt drop off dcb rest of week and next week will be new hours so well see how that goes.
lovemykidstoo 08:01 PM 01-29-2016
LOL Had one of my dcd's come this morning at 9:10 with dcb and said he had not eaten breakfast yet. He normally gets here about 730, but dad lost his job, so he's off and now dcb is coming 1-2 days a week. So, baby was crying, so I said, well baby takes priority ad then it will be close to snacktime, so I'll get him something then. How do you let him sleep in 1 1/2 hrs past normal time and not fricken feed him? grrr
lovemydaycare0912 05:16 AM 01-30-2016
I dont get it. I think the only way theyll learn is if we say you have to go feed him breakfast before he can come in to daycare. Sorry, not sorry.
Blackcat31 06:50 AM 01-30-2016
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
LOL Had one of my dcd's come this morning at 9:10 with dcb and said he had not eaten breakfast yet. He normally gets here about 730, but dad lost his job, so he's off and now dcb is coming 1-2 days a week. So, baby was crying, so I said, well baby takes priority ad then it will be close to snacktime, so I'll get him something then. How do you let him sleep in 1 1/2 hrs past normal time and not fricken feed him? grrr
I would have seent dad back out to the car (or home) to feed him. I would not have accepted the baby into care until he was fed. If dad was off and not working, it shouldnt have been a big deal to him to remedy tne situation.LOL Had one of my dcd's come this morning at 9:10 with dcb and said he had not eaten breakfast yet. He normally gets here about 730, but dad lost his job, so he's off and now dcb is coming 1-2 days a week. So, baby was crying, so I said, well baby takes priority ad then it will be close to snacktime, so I'll get him something then. How do you let him sleep in 1 1/2 hrs past normal time and not fricken feed him? grrr
lovemykidstoo 07:22 AM 01-30-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would have seent dad back out to the car (or home) to feed him. I would not have accepted the baby into care until he was fed. If dad was off and not working, it shouldnt have been a big deal to him to remedy tne situation.
You're totally right. I should have. My post wasn't totally clear too. I was holding another baby when he came with his son. His son is almost 2. The baby I was holding (not his) was crying. That's why I said, that that baby takes first place in the feeding. This dad is on my list, but I'm trying to hang onto the relationship while he looks for a job because I really need the income. When he gets more secure and I know that they're not pulling due to that situation, we'll work on him.I would have seent dad back out to the car (or home) to feed him. I would not have accepted the baby into care until he was fed. If dad was off and not working, it shouldnt have been a big deal to him to remedy tne situation.
Blackcat31 08:37 AM 01-30-2016
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
You're totally right. I should have. My post wasn't totally clear too. I was holding another baby when he came with his son. His son is almost 2. The baby I was holding (not his) was crying. That's why I said, that that baby takes first place in the feeding. This dad is on my list, but I'm trying to hang onto the relationship while he looks for a job because I really need the income. When he gets more secure and I know that they're not pulling due to that situation, we'll work on him.
You're totally right. I should have. My post wasn't totally clear too. I was holding another baby when he came with his son. His son is almost 2. The baby I was holding (not his) was crying. That's why I said, that that baby takes first place in the feeding. This dad is on my list, but I'm trying to hang onto the relationship while he looks for a job because I really need the income. When he gets more secure and I know that they're not pulling due to that situation, we'll work on him.