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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Screamer Again....
Hunni Bee 06:28 PM 11-22-2011
So last week I posted about a 3-year-old who has scream-crying fits daily when she doesn't get her way. Today, she had one because she had been sitting over a plate of food for 30 minutes completely ignoring it, with reminders to eat it if she wanted it, and then when it was thrown away, she lost it.

Last Friday, she came in from Headstart (she always comes in the middle of nap) and asked could she paint. I said, no, but you can do x,y or z. Lost it. I told her she could stop the screaming or go to the Infant Room where screaming is allowed. She stopped, and asked after a few minutes could she lie down. Lights out for about an hour.

So I'm positive now that the problem is she only gets a quasi-nap at Headstart, then when she gets to me, she's tired and irritable.

The problem is, I'm thinking if I make her lie down when she gets to me at 2:15, and she for whatever reason doesn't want to, she's going to have a melt-down in the midst of my 12 other peacefully napping kiddos. I asked her yesterday and today did she want to lie down, and she refused.

Nothing grinds my gears like a ruined naptime. I'd really much rather deal with the screaming at 3:30 or 4.

But, really, the screaming at anytime has got to stop.

Please help
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SandeeAR 06:43 PM 11-22-2011
You aren't alone.........I have a 20 mo screamer. She has been a screamer, since 8 weeks. Got better for a few months. Then got drastically worse. Finally Mom told me what I expected, she was rocking her to sleep at night, had a paci and went to Mom and Dads bed when she woke up crying at night. I knew she still had a paci at home, she had not had one here for 4-5 months.

One very bad day, I sent Mom a text with her screaming to the top of her lungs. Mom opened at work. We texted for about 20 times. I think she got the point that I was at the end of my rope with her. I tell Mom, no matter what I do here, so long as she is getting rocked, has a paci and sleeping in your bed, she will never sleep here.

According to Mom, they stopped rocking and putting her in their bed. Things got ok for about 2 days, then the screaming again. (I'm pretty sure they have gone back to the old ways again).

Today, I decided, it was not my responsiblity to to break a 20 mo from the bad habits. Only to get her to sleep, so the other kids could rest.

I gave her back the paci at nap. Told her if she cried at ALL, I was coming and taking it away. I walked out, she cried for 2 min, I went in and took it away and told her, I said NO crying. Left her to cry for 5 min. Went back in and said last chance, you cry AT ALL, I take it and I won't come back. Gave it to her. She slept for 2 hours!!!

Told Mom at pick up what I did. Told her when you decide to take her off the paci, I'll think about it. If it doesn't bother you that she still has one, it isn't my problem. She said maybe at her 2nd bday, we will take it away.

I don't care if she has it here in the pack n play at nap until she is 4, so long as she is quiet. Breaking her is NOT my problem.
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beachgrl 10:57 PM 11-22-2011
I had quite a bit of screaming outnof one of my dck today and they can get louuuuddd, so much noise..whining...and screaming to get ones way, wow so enjoying the quiet right now
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DaycareMom 06:50 AM 11-23-2011
You got it girl! Breaking her bad habits should not fall on you! They are the parents and if they can't do it at home, then there is no reason to ruin your days.
Good job!
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MyAngels 09:19 AM 11-23-2011
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
So last week I posted about a 3-year-old who has scream-crying fits daily when she doesn't get her way. Today, she had one because she had been sitting over a plate of food for 30 minutes completely ignoring it, with reminders to eat it if she wanted it, and then when it was thrown away, she lost it.

Last Friday, she came in from Headstart (she always comes in the middle of nap) and asked could she paint. I said, no, but you can do x,y or z. Lost it. I told her she could stop the screaming or go to the Infant Room where screaming is allowed. She stopped, and asked after a few minutes could she lie down. Lights out for about an hour.

So I'm positive now that the problem is she only gets a quasi-nap at Headstart, then when she gets to me, she's tired and irritable.

The problem is, I'm thinking if I make her lie down when she gets to me at 2:15, and she for whatever reason doesn't want to, she's going to have a melt-down in the midst of my 12 other peacefully napping kiddos. I asked her yesterday and today did she want to lie down, and she refused.

Nothing grinds my gears like a ruined naptime. I'd really much rather deal with the screaming at 3:30 or 4.

But, really, the screaming at anytime has got to stop.

Please help
Is there any place that she can lie separately from the other kids so that her screaming doesn't disturb them?

I don't have a lot of tips for tantrum throwers. On the rare occasion that I've had someone throw one I just tell them to cut it out and they do.
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Heidi 11:27 AM 11-23-2011
2:15 is such a wierd arrival time, IMO. Our head starts here end earlier so that children can still have a decent nap. I would probably not take on a child that arrives 1/2 way through nap in the first place, but it is what it is, right?

Can you possibly change the whole groups nap time to earlier? Have them get up at 2:30ish? Then you only have to keep her quietly occupied for about 15 min, maybe help you get snack ready or read book on the couch?

As for the other screaming when not getting her way, your infant room idea was cute. I don't have that option, I've learned to walk away.
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Hunni Bee 01:32 PM 11-23-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
2:15 is such a wierd arrival time, IMO. Our head starts here end earlier so that children can still have a decent nap. I would probably not take on a child that arrives 1/2 way through nap in the first place, but it is what it is, right?

Can you possibly change the whole groups nap time to earlier? Have them get up at 2:30ish? Then you only have to keep her quietly occupied for about 15 min, maybe help you get snack ready or read book on the couch?

As for the other screaming when not getting her way, your infant room idea was cute. I don't have that option, I've learned to walk away.
Thats a good idea. But they to need longer naps in the winter for some reason...I've been meaning to bump naptime back to 12:30 anyway, because I have two 1:45 departures (that I hate ) and they're naps are broken daily. I hate doing it but I have no choice...I'm in a center and I have no control over that.

That will work for the other kids...I still need to figure what to do for her. Today she got out at 11:45, which allowed her to eat lunch and nap with us, and she was a peach.
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Tags:active ignore, nap - crying, screamer, tired kids
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