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daycarediva 11:31 AM 01-29-2014
due to behavior. 3 strikes and you go home for 24 hours policy.

Had a 3.5yo push, then smack another child for sitting next to him. (Strike 1. Notified Mom, TO.)

Then he was pushing during centers. (Strike 2. Notified Mom, separated.)

He kept trying to go back to centers, so I picked him up to move him. As I was talking to him at eye level, he told me to shut up, then punched me right in the nose. Hard enough for it to bleed some! (strike 3, you're OUT kid.)

Mom is giving me grief for leaving work. She signed a page DEVOTED to this policy for the safety of myself and others in care. She asked if I felt like I couldn't handle him. I said it's not that I can't handle him, it's that I won't.
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TwinKristi 11:42 AM 01-29-2014
Oh no! That's awful! I had a kid punch me in the nose at my old job in a high end fitness center daycare and I was like no way, you're out of here! They had already been on probation for naughty behavior! I actually told my supervisor if they didn't go, I would! They were banned for like 3mos and came back acting just as awful. Punching a teacher is NOT ok, even in preschool or elem. school! They would be expelled!
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KidGrind 11:45 AM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
due to behavior. 3 strikes and you go home for 24 hours policy.

Had a 3.5yo push, then smack another child for sitting next to him. (Strike 1. Notified Mom, TO.)

Then he was pushing during centers. (Strike 2. Notified Mom, separated.)

He kept trying to go back to centers, so I picked him up to move him. As I was talking to him at eye level, he told me to shut up, then punched me right in the nose. Hard enough for it to bleed some! (strike 3, you're OUT kid.)

Mom is giving me grief for leaving work. She signed a page DEVOTED to this policy for the safety of myself and others in care. She asked if I felt like I couldn't handle him. I said it's not that I can't handle him, it's that I won't.

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Shell 11:47 AM 01-29-2014
Wow! That is horrible behavior!
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Josiegirl 11:48 AM 01-29-2014
Oh wow! Good for you for calling mom though!!!

WTH is it with kids anyways? Were kids like that when we were that age? I have never seen so many sassy physical kids in all my life. It started maybe 6-10 years ago and doesn't seem to get any better. Are parents afraid to parent? Are they not allowed to parent? I just don't get it.
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Play Care 11:49 AM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
due to behavior. 3 strikes and you go home for 24 hours policy.

Had a 3.5yo push, then smack another child for sitting next to him. (Strike 1. Notified Mom, TO.)

Then he was pushing during centers. (Strike 2. Notified Mom, separated.)

He kept trying to go back to centers, so I picked him up to move him. As I was talking to him at eye level, he told me to shut up, then punched me right in the nose. Hard enough for it to bleed some! (strike 3, you're OUT kid.)

Mom is giving me grief for leaving work. She signed a page DEVOTED to this policy for the safety of myself and others in care. She asked if I felt like I couldn't handle him. I said it's not that I can't handle him, it's that I won't.
Wow! That always ticks me off - um, it's not my job to deal with behavior that is ABNORMAL. And yes, it IS ABNORMAL for children to think they can hit, punch or kick a teacher/adult. I'd be tempted to term immediately for mom's attitude.
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TwinKristi 11:53 AM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Wow! That always ticks me off - um, it's not my job to deal with behavior that is ABNORMAL. And yes, it IS ABNORMAL for children to think they can hit, punch or kick a teacher/adult. I'd be tempted to term immediately for mom's attitude.
Yeah, it's pretty insulting when mom acts like it's your fault that you can't deal with her abusive son!

I would really use this as a means to address his aggression and how she would expect you to handle it? I would also go over your policy again and also explain that this is NOT normal behavior!
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nannyde 12:08 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
due to behavior. 3 strikes and you go home for 24 hours policy.

Had a 3.5yo push, then smack another child for sitting next to him. (Strike 1. Notified Mom, TO.)

Then he was pushing during centers. (Strike 2. Notified Mom, separated.)

He kept trying to go back to centers, so I picked him up to move him. As I was talking to him at eye level, he told me to shut up, then punched me right in the nose. Hard enough for it to bleed some! (strike 3, you're OUT kid.)

Mom is giving me grief for leaving work. She signed a page DEVOTED to this policy for the safety of myself and others in care. She asked if I felt like I couldn't handle him. I said it's not that I can't handle him, it's that I won't.
Just tell her that you don't have any children or adults here willing to be hit, kicked, and pushed. Nothing personal. She needs to find him a setting where there are willing victims.
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daycarediva 12:10 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Just tell her that you don't have any children or adults here willing to be hit, kicked, and pushed. Nothing personal. She needs to find him a setting where there are willing victims.
Exactly. I did not sign up for that.

I am going to email her later (he can't come back tomorrow, either).


This is 1 of the 2 I want to term/replace. For obvious reasons.
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melilley 12:17 PM 01-29-2014
Oh no!
I can't believe he punched you! Mom's attitude would p me off!
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daycarediva 12:24 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
Oh no!
I can't believe he punched you! Mom's attitude would p me off!
I believe it. He hits his mother ALL THE TIME. They also find 99% of what he does HILARIOUS and just so CUTE. He was ripping up the mulch in my front garden beds and mom called him curious George, asked what he was digging for, etc GRRRRRR. He is a goodbye outside kid and has been for months. For that time, I am now watching to see what he does before he gets in the car. Kicking over/breaking solar lights, kicking flowers, pulling my plants, he pulled my small garden flag stake up and was carrying it to the car once. M O N S T E R.

When he is with me, it's ALMOST like another kid, but last week he was on vacation, was out sick m-t and today was.... well UGH!
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mema 12:44 PM 01-29-2014
Good for you! If parents want to be hit/kicked/slapped by their kids, whatever, but good grief no one else should have to put up with it. Good luck in school kid
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Blackcat31 01:13 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I said it's not that I can't handle him, it's that I won't.


What a shame that mom had that attitude.

Another child, I would love to follow through adulthood just to see the outcome.
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blandino 01:17 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


What a shame that mom had that attitude.

Truly what a shame ! This poor child is going to have such a disadvantage at life because of his mothers inept-ness. It really makes me so upset that these kids get slighted, because their parents are too unconcerned/busy/don't want to be bothered/ don't want to be the bad guy, to give their child the best shot at life. It is really pathetic. By all means allow your child to behave like this, and set them up for repeated failure and heart break, all because you don't want to be the bad guy in the short term. It is horribly selfish, and people ought to know it.

Thinking of renting a billboard
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Angelsj 01:25 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


What a shame that mom had that attitude.

Another child, I would love to follow through adulthood just to see the outcome.
You will. Just watch the crime news.
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daycarediva 07:10 PM 01-29-2014
I was just given a heads up by Facebook that dcm is shopping around for cheaper, at a brand new group in home daycare ( not yet licensed but openly advertising that they are running NOW). Quote: "will you do 7-6:30? What are rates? If it's cheaper I'm interested. The $200/m c----- daycare charges is way too much."

It's 750/m, the rest are Late payment/pickup fees/she works 8-4, 5 minutes away.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:59 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I was just given a heads up by Facebook that dcm is shopping around for cheaper, at a brand new group in home daycare ( not yet licensed but openly advertising that they are running NOW). Quote: "will you do 7-6:30? What are rates? If it's cheaper I'm interested. The $200/m c----- daycare charges is way too much."

It's 750/m, the rest are Late payment/pickup fees/she works 8-4, 5 minutes away.
And your kid is way too much so byebye.
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Laurel 02:51 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Just tell her that you don't have any children or adults here willing to be hit, kicked, and pushed. Nothing personal. She needs to find him a setting where there are willing victims.
Oh my gosh I love that comment. Would love to see mom's face if she was told in person.

Laurel
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MyAngels 07:15 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by blandino:
Truly what a shame ! This poor child is going to have such a disadvantage at life because of his mothers inept-ness. It really makes me so upset that these kids get slighted, because their parents are too unconcerned/busy/don't want to be bothered/ don't want to be the bad guy, to give their child the best shot at life. It is really pathetic. By all means allow your child to behave like this, and set them up for repeated failure and heart break, all because you don't want to be the bad guy in the short term. It is horribly selfish, and people ought to know it.

Thinking of renting a billboard


So true. I really worry about my granddaughter's generation. There will be so much attention needed for these hellions that the other children will suffer because the majority of resources will be diverted to just manage the plethora of "diagnoses" these kids have, when really the "diagnosis" for so many should be just bad parenting.
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nannyde 08:00 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Exactly. I did not sign up for that.

I am going to email her later (he can't come back tomorrow, either).


This is 1 of the 2 I want to term/replace. For obvious reasons.
I can't wait until the schools start booting these kids out the first week of Kindergarten for beating the crap out of the teachers. I feel SO sorry for Kindy teachers.

I have a friend that works as a pre-k teacher for a school system. She told me this year that she has been hit, kicked, spat on, hair pulled, chairs thrown at her.... all in the first six weeks. This is with three to five year olds. They aren't allowed to do ANYTHING but clear the room so the kid can trash it.


What needs to happen is the school districts need to be sued to oblivion when the teachers and other kids are hurt. They need to develop methods of getting those kids gone really quickly. Once the public knows that their kid won't get free school if he assaults the others THEN it will start trickling down to day care.
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Blackcat31 09:49 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I can't wait until the schools start booting these kids out the first week of Kindergarten for beating the crap out of the teachers. I feel SO sorry for Kindy teachers.

I have a friend that works as a pre-k teacher for a school system. She told me this year that she has been hit, kicked, spat on, hair pulled, chairs thrown at her.... all in the first six weeks. This is with three to five year olds. They aren't allowed to do ANYTHING but clear the room so the kid can trash it.


What needs to happen is the school districts need to be sued to oblivion when the teachers and other kids are hurt. They need to develop methods of getting those kids gone really quickly. Once the public knows that their kid won't get free school if he assaults the others THEN it will start trickling down to day care.
Yeah, remember a while back I had a 7 year old DCB who had gotten the police called on him at school for being "out of control" in Kindy classroom and the police couldn't locate his mother so they brought him to me.

The child was so out of control when the police dropped him off here, it took two officer's to carry him to my door. They asked me if I could handle him.

I got within inches of DCB's face and told him in no uncertain terms to "Knock it off right.now!" He did.

The police officer said "Well if the teacher was allowed to speak to him like that, then this wouldn't be happening."

I agreed.

I never.ever.ever. was physical with him, I didn't have to be.

I'd had him since birth but I was always VERY firm with him because he had NO control at home or school or anywhere else for that matter.

I have theories as to why he did well with me but those theories would be laughed out of "developmentally appropriate practices" now days...
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Lianne 10:30 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I can't wait until the schools start booting these kids out the first week of Kindergarten for beating the crap out of the teachers. I feel SO sorry for Kindy teachers.

I have a friend that works as a pre-k teacher for a school system. She told me this year that she has been hit, kicked, spat on, hair pulled, chairs thrown at her.... all in the first six weeks. This is with three to five year olds. They aren't allowed to do ANYTHING but clear the room so the kid can trash it.


What needs to happen is the school districts need to be sued to oblivion when the teachers and other kids are hurt. They need to develop methods of getting those kids gone really quickly. Once the public knows that their kid won't get free school if he assaults the others THEN it will start trickling down to day care.
They won't. They'll accept it because their hands will be tied somehow

Just before Christmas my friend's 7yr old was kicking kindergarteners at school. She was hoofing them over and over while they laid on the ground curled into the fetal position. There were 8-10 incidents within a 2-3 week period. Then, one day she kicked her (female) teacher in the crotch. Kicked her so hard the teacher needed 3 days off to recuperate. When I asked mom what the school was going to do, Mom shrugged and said "I don't know. Learn to stop bugging her when she's in a mood?" My mouth dropped and I haven't asked again. I don't want to know if she's still doing it but she's never been suspended or expelled. The kid's parents' parenting motto is "It's not worth the fight" They say that for everything. Nothing is ever worth the fight with their kid.
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TwinKristi 10:35 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I can't wait until the schools start booting these kids out the first week of Kindergarten for beating the crap out of the teachers. I feel SO sorry for Kindy teachers.

I have a friend that works as a pre-k teacher for a school system. She told me this year that she has been hit, kicked, spat on, hair pulled, chairs thrown at her.... all in the first six weeks. This is with three to five year olds. They aren't allowed to do ANYTHING but clear the room so the kid can trash it.


What needs to happen is the school districts need to be sued to oblivion when the teachers and other kids are hurt. They need to develop methods of getting those kids gone really quickly. Once the public knows that their kid won't get free school if he assaults the others THEN it will start trickling down to day care.
That's NOT the way it is here! Kids will be sent to the office and sent home for that! Violence is not tolerated at our school, especially against the teacher!
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daycarediva 10:47 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
And your kid is way too much so byebye.
Seriously!


He isn't here today, and I am FULLY expecting her walking papers to be turned in tomorrow. I may just hand them to her first if she gives me any grief. I already have them printed.
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TwinKristi 10:56 AM 01-30-2014
Luckily you have the protection of licensing that you BY LAW have to keep a safe environment for not only her child but the others as well. And maybe pose the question how she would feel if someone treated her child this way and you just allowed it to happen? Unfortunately it's better to lose one problematic child than all his victims and be known as a dangerous place. I know you know this, but don't feel bad at all!
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Angelsj 10:57 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by Lianne:
They won't. They'll accept it because their hands will be tied somehow

Just before Christmas my friend's 7yr old was kicking kindergarteners at school. She was hoofing them over and over while they laid on the ground curled into the fetal position. There were 8-10 incidents within a 2-3 week period. Then, one day she kicked her (female) teacher in the crotch. Kicked her so hard the teacher needed 3 days off to recuperate. When I asked mom what the school was going to do, Mom shrugged and said "I don't know. Learn to stop bugging her when she's in a mood?" My mouth dropped and I haven't asked again. I don't want to know if she's still doing it but she's never been suspended or expelled. The kid's parents' parenting motto is "It's not worth the fight" They say that for everything. Nothing is ever worth the fight with their kid.
As the parent of any of those kids who were getting hurt, why were they not creating a stink!!?? It is bad enough when the teachers don't see it. When they do it needs to be stopped!
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Angelsj 10:58 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

I have theories as to why he did well with me but those theories would be laughed out of "developmentally appropriate practices" now days...
Exactly!!
I just have to get through this last capstone class without telling the teacher what I REALLY think of their DAPs and all will be well.
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My3cents 11:36 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
Exactly!!
I just have to get through this last capstone class without telling the teacher what I REALLY think of their DAPs and all will be well.
The way I see it is you just said why didn't the parents do anything.......yet you are doing the same thing yourself. Just getting through-

No one is saying anything and that is why things are staying the same and not moving in another direction. People are afraid of being sued-

No common sense - Why not remove the child from the class to a cool down area instead of clearing the class and letting the child go ballistic. What is that teaching?

I think many people need to tell someone what they think of the DAP's- Your pushing everyone into one fit and one fit doesn't work for all different sizes, there are way, way too many variables and facets. It is like a push for people to be robots, not human beings. Most of us have good common sense lets roll with that as a number one requisite.

ugh!

That No one includes me at times just because of how society is- I wanted to clarify I am talking in general and not picking on you- I just think we need to take a stand at some point as providers of children who know children and what works and what doesn't and say enough is enough with all this fluff and bull-
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Angelsj 12:00 PM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by My3cents:
The way I see it is you just said why didn't the parents do anything.......yet you are doing the same thing yourself. Just getting through-

No one is saying anything and that is why things are staying the same and not moving in another direction. People are afraid of being sued-

No common sense - Why not remove the child from the class to a cool down area instead of clearing the class and letting the child go ballistic. What is that teaching?

I think many people need to tell someone what they think of the DAP's- Your pushing everyone into one fit and one fit doesn't work for all different sizes, there are way, way too many variables and facets. It is like a push for people to be robots, not human beings. Most of us have good common sense lets roll with that as a number one requisite.

ugh!

That No one includes me at times just because of how society is- I wanted to clarify I am talking in general and not picking on you- I just think we need to take a stand at some point as providers of children who know children and what works and what doesn't and say enough is enough with all this fluff and bull-
Oh, I tell them. To a degree. Instructors don't want your opinion...lol
Honestly, they aren't even interested in years of success. I know what they want, but do things my own way. Bonus track... I taught my kids how to do it, so hopefully my grandkids won't be these hellions either.
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Tags:discipline policy, parent - cant handle truth, violence in child care, violent child
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