Misbehaving Child I Care for...Help

[Brash123]

Hello, I have been watching a three and a half year old for over a year now. Her behavior has drastically changed in the past six months. I'm not even sure where to begin... When she gets mad at her mom, she rips the house apart. Everything from toilet paper and toothpaste all over the bathroom to taking all of her clothes out of her dressers. Then when her mom asks her to pick it up she refuses. I'm not sure how much mom pushes it though. She said that if she leaves the mess long enough she should eventually pick it up. But she doesn't, it just gets worse.

Some of her behaviors don't seem normal for her age. She will yell at her mom and just flat out not listen. She will just scream for something and I don't know what it is because she won't use her words. Then she gets really upset. I try and tell her to use her words but she just tries to hit me. Mom has never put her in time out before. I have when her behaviors results in one. And she listens and we talk it over after and we continue on.

Over a two week span on multiple days it took more than two hours for them to get out of the house. Once she even had to call grandpa to come get the child because she couldn't do it anymore. Mom is very stressed and has noticed a change but doesn't seem to want to change anything.

I have had enough of being treated like this but they can't afford to lose me as a sitter. How do I tell the mom that I can't take it anymore and that she needs to start doing something different? She has told me that other people/family members have tried to tell her stuff like that and she doesn't believe it.


Do you think these behaviors are normal for a 3 1/2 year old to be doing on a constant basis? Any advice would be helpful..There is much more but I didn't want to go on forever...

[Michael]

Welcome to the forum. We've placed some tags for you to use at the bottom left of this thread that may be helpful.

[MarinaVanessa]

Are you a nanny?
Or do you take care of the girl in your home?

It's very difficult to change behavior in the child's home without the support of the parent and without the parent making changes in their parenting.

It's easier to change challenging behavior in your own home when the parent is away and the child can learn that there are two different expectations between home and daycare but it is still a struggle and will take time if the parent is not on board at home.

[Brash123]

I am like a nanny. I watch her two-three days during the week then Saturday and/or Sunday in her home.

Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa

Are you a nanny?
Or do you take care of the girl in your home?

It's very difficult to change behavior in the child's home without the support of the parent and without the parent making changes in their parenting.

It's easier to change challenging behavior in your own home when the parent is away and the child can learn that there are two different expectations between home and daycare but it is still a struggle and will take time if the parent is not on board at home.