One of my DCM asked me today if she could take my son and daughter to her house to play with her kids today. usually I would be thrilled to have a quieter house, but i feel nervous about them being there. When her kids are here my son starts bouncing off the walls and sometimes act's like a royal PITA! My daughter, i always know that she is on her best behavior.
I am also worried that she may have a million nosey questions about our family and my son likes to tell tall tales!
One time he told my neighbour that i left him at home all by himself and she came over just petrafied. I was washing dishes.
Would you do the same with your DCP's?

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Depending on who it is. Mine have in the past. But not often.

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No, never. I keep it strictly professional.

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My kids are older now but when they were younger, I just chose to do like cheerfuldom and never blur the lines between family and business.

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Any ideas on how to decline the invites? I have always belived that you cant have a buddy buddy friendship with someone who cares for your kids. Always wanted to keep things professional too!

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I have learned to keep it professional. It backfires too easily.

It opens the door to "I had your kids over to play last weekend so can you invite mine this weekend?"

Then it becomes bartering for "free care" with trades of "playtime" at her house.

Eventually it gets to the point they feel they should not have to pay or follow the rules...after all, you are friends now and her kid is only there to play.

I know of which I speak...I have seen me go through this...

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lol...... yes I would not allow for my son to go over a DCK house. He gets invites all the time and i say thanks so much for the offer, but maybe another time. I am always busy and the parents know this. I also have a 15 year old and a 13year old that will watch my son for me if I have an errand to run.

I have never crossed the line with the DCP as I learned my lesson years ago with a different business that I had. my rhyme..
Business is business, pleasure is pleasure NEVER mix the two together...........repeat....lol

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If it were me in that same situation I would say something like

"Thanks so much for inviting DD and DS. I know that your kids and mine have a great time playing together and get along well, and I hope you won't take offense to this but I am going to decline. The reason for this is because if I start letting my kids go to some daycare kids' houses, they don't seem to understand that they can't go to everyone's house and you can just imagine how hard that would become. Please know that I really do appreciate the invite, maybe we could meet up at the park sometime during an upcoming weekend and give our kids some time together."

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this parent and I don't know how she would take that but try to tweak it to fit the relationship you have with her....kwim?
Like I said, I tried really hard to not blur things so that I wasn't having to explain why it was ok to go to some dck's houses and not to others so I just said they couldn't go to any. It made it so much easier.

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This is great advice and a great excuse.

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Well we are not best friends, I have been watching her kids since Jan. She lives down the street from us also. My son sneaks out to her house sometimes to play, even after they have been with me all day! Im glad they get along and want to be friends, but yes I feel uneasy about this and I will decline from now on. I guess they wont be going to a bday party for another DCB either.

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I would go to the bday party with them.

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I agree with those who don't mix business with pleasure.
I guess I would probably be honest and say just that... "Though I really appreciate the invite, we prefer not to mix business with pleasure and keep things strictly professional. It's nothing personal, just a long-standing rule we've always kept. I am sure you understand..."

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I keep it professional only as well. So no, mine would not. I don't attend DCK's birthday parties either but do get a little gift bag to give if I am actually invited to a party.

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So I'm the only one who has? Hmmm again I'm a purple duck, yesssssss! Lol

Here most of the time we form lifelong bonds with the families. We truly become family.

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No, my kids play with the DCK outside of hours! Especially when they were younger and had no other friends. Mine actually all went to school together also so when birthday invites where handed out mine kids were invited as well. How sad to tell a child that they are just business.

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Of course, mine are all grown up now, but yes, on occaision, they did go to the dck's homes when invited.

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My son is going to a DKBs house for a playdate on Monday. The mom is a teacher and has the summers off, so she asked if she could 'borrow' my son for a few hours so that her little one wont be bored.

My son has gone one other time and had a blast.
I also go to the bday parties if we are invited. The kids look at each other as friends and they spent so much time together, that they ARE friends

My son is 3 yrs old, so once he starts school I am sure that will change, but until then, I don't see a problem with it. BUT I will say, that totally depends on the family. Some of them, I can see taking advantage.

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I think it's different if you are with them. Then it doesn't become I watched your kids for free...etc. I'm going through this with my 2 dcb and their parents. I've had them for 2 years now, and we get invited to their bday parties, out to camp and she has mentioned a girls night drinking, LOL! We've gone a couple of times, with me or as a family event, and my husband and I have great chemistry with the parents. As for me letting my kids there by themselves, it won't happen. (unless a catastrophe hit and all of my family members, which are plentiful, were suddenly gone.) But I'm all up for adult only get togethers, or family events.

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i agree about the "i watched your kids for free" thing. my children aren't allowed to go to other people's houses. they've accepted that fact of their lives. i did make an exception 3 times for about 2 hours each time because i needed someone to pick up my daughter after school and keep her until i could make it home after a long commute. a neighbor who has grandchildren her age who she is raising (and is a former daycare provider) volunteered to help out. i insisted on paying her and DID pay her because i didn't want to feel obligated to "help her out." sure enough, last week she called and said her kids wanted to come over and play. it just so happened that she was on her way out "to the store" when she brought them over. this was about 2pm. at NINE pm i saw her car in the driveway and was shocked that she didn't stop to pick them up or even call. i told my husband that if we ever needed a babysitter again that i would just call her and say, "the kids want to come over and play." there was no professional relationship between us and i really think that she "forgot" the fact that she got MONEY to keep my kid and figured dumping hers off on me was me returning the "favor." i can't imagine how sticky things would get and the tit for tat that would take place if it was a professional/money relationship involving "play dates." the first time you tried to enforce a late fee it would be, "well, i "watched" your child for five hours for free!" or whatever the case may be. i'm still shocked over my neighbor. kids coming over to play means they can be sent home at the drop of a dime. babysitting means they have to stay at your house regardless. it's amazing that some people don't get that.

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