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Old 02-16-2015, 04:07 PM
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Default 3 Yr Old Boys and Butt Issues

I have 2 three year old boys that are obsessed with butts. They continuously want to touch each others butts, talk about each others butts and today both of them at the same time, leaned over and smelled a 4 yr old boys butt. I'm at my witts end. How do I stop this? I've talked to them, I've put them in time out, I"ve talked to parents and they do the same thing. HELP!
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Old 02-16-2015, 05:47 PM
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My best solution is to normalize it to the point that it's no longer funny. I've had kids who love to talk about poop all the time respond well to many many readings of "Everybody Poops." Oh--you talk about it, too? It's just something normal? Must not be so funny after all. The more taboo it is, the more interesting, you know?

My kids love the book "Chicken Cheeks," which has lots of different words for animal behinds (at the very least, you might get some more-interesting vocabulary!). And I just peeked on Amazon to see if there was something else for you and found "The Butt Book."
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Old 02-16-2015, 06:36 PM
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I noticed most little boys are obsessed with butts. One little boy at a co-op I student tought at once spanked me (this boy did have other behavioral issues). A 3 year old I used to watch thought butts were funny. Even one of my mom's friends always makes jokes about my mom's butt, which he calls 'her brisket' (we call him her gay husband).
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Old 02-16-2015, 06:39 PM
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I don't mind really the butt jokes, but it's crossing the line in some instances. The whole wanting to touch someone else's butt or putting his face down by someone's butt and smelling is not making a couple of parents happy
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Old 02-16-2015, 07:04 PM
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boys, and kids in general, and heck many adults even, find body/potty humor absolutely hilarious. it really is best handled with either calm ignoring, or a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude. If you need to rein it in for propriety (not in public, not in front of stuffy Great Aunt Betty, etc) then do so without much emotion behind it.

Sometimes my 3 year old will randomly walk up to me and say "Hello butt!" and I either ignore it and just respond normally "Hi buddy, what do you want?" or I'll play along and say "Hello toes!" or something else. Usually he starts changing the body parts but sometimes he sticks with butt so I keep changing the body parts to make him giggle.

If I'm in a really silly mood (but only with my own kids...) I'll start singing a song and substituting butt or poop for some of the words. Like the alphabet... "A B C D E F poop! H I J K L M N O poop! Q R poop! T U poop! W poop! Y and poop! Now I know my pooppooppoop! Next time won't you poop with me!" and boy does it bring on gales of giggles and great big bellly laughs!! It's fun.
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Old 02-16-2015, 07:17 PM
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What do you do though when a parent of a girl is getting ticked because boy who is obsessed with butts touches their daughters butt because he thinks it's funny?
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Old 02-16-2015, 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
What do you do though when a parent of a girl is getting ticked because boy who is obsessed with butts touches their daughters butt because he thinks it's funny?
I'm guessing she gives him a really satisfying reaction, and I'm guessing he gets a satisfying reaction from adults too.

It'll be hard, because impulse control isn't a thing 3s have, but you lay down the rules "You can talk about butts, sing about butts, read about butts, you can even draw butts if you want but you MAY. NOT. TOUCH. BUTTS. Butts are private and you MAY. NOT. touch someone else's butt." You remind him of the rule as often as you need to during the day, but especially first thing in the morning and after nap.

and you shadow him as you would a biter. he tries, you intervene and say as boredly-but-firmly as you can "NO. You don't touch butts." and when he persists (I know 3s....) you move his body away and try to get him doing something else and if you have to address a third time in a fairly short period, then a short break away from things may be appropriate.
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Old 02-16-2015, 11:15 PM
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It is just a boy thing. I had a boy in my class who loved butts lol. He wrote on his thanksgiving project "Im thankful for my butt". Honestly I dont make a big deal out of it as long as you dont talk about butts during meals or if a friend asks you to stop and they dont. Its just a phase. Its quite funny to see them develop their sense of humor
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Old 02-17-2015, 05:06 AM
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Most of mine went through that phase too lol. I send them to the bathroom every time I hear a "potty" word. Oh? You said bottom (butt)? You must need to use the restroom! They get sick of that pretty fast.
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Old 02-17-2015, 07:10 AM
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Most of mine went through that phase too lol. I send them to the bathroom every time I hear a "potty" word. Oh? You said bottom (butt)? You must need to use the restroom! They get sick of that pretty fast.


I allow the children to use as much potty language as they want - in the bathroom.

As for butt smelling, I'd explain why animals do that, then talk about the ways people get to know each other instead of butt smelling.

My 8 yr old is still obsessed with butts - gotta love boys!
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Old 02-17-2015, 09:02 AM
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I allow the children to use as much potty language as they want - in the bathroom.

As for butt smelling, I'd explain why animals do that, then talk about the ways people get to know each other instead of butt smelling.

My 8 yr old is still obsessed with butts - gotta love boys!
....I was thinking something along the same line.
Was wondering if the two boys were talking about how dogs smell butts, or if the 4yr old smelt funny at his butt, (that sounds so funny).
We all know kids have no filter, especially boys that are developing their humor with butts and their penis.
My 6yr son is all about this talk, but we make it a normal conversation, so it takes the shock factor to get attention out of it. My Biology teacher dcp's discussed EVERYTHING openly about the human body with their children, and it had the same effect.
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Old 02-17-2015, 10:36 AM
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my own child is obsessed with this at the moment, I find it gross, but it's just a phase.

I would ignore it and try not to give it too much attention.

I always say kids are going to act out, might as well be at home. If I find them doing something that I feel is not suitable for DC, I will just say, lets save that for home and move on. I let the parents deal with that.'
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Old 02-17-2015, 10:42 AM
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It's not just boys. My girls think just saying butt is the funniest thing ever.
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Old 02-17-2015, 11:53 AM
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OP stated that another parent of a little girl is upset about the constant talk and touching of her bottom. This would concern me as the provider, as it opens the door for liability issues.

I would start having whole group discussions on what is and is not appropriate every day at circle time with the children. No BUTT touching or talk, period. It doesn't really matter what we consider "normal" or "just curiosity" when a parent is upset about their daughter's butt being touched and what they are trying to teach her about what is okay for another person to touch on her body.

ETA: OP, I would discuss with all of the parents the concerns and ask that they support me in discouraging this type of behavior by not allowing it at home and by talking to their children at home about what is and isn't appropriate. I'd also provide the concerned parents with written info on what you are doing to stop the behavior.
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Old 02-17-2015, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Starburst View Post
I noticed most little boys are obsessed with butts. One little boy at a co-op I student tought at once spanked me (this boy did have other behavioral issues). A 3 year old I used to watch thought butt were funny. Even one of my mom's friends always makes jokes about my mom's butt, which he calls 'her brisket' (we call him her gay husband).
Ever older boy that I have enrolled would love to talk about butts and poop. I think that it is allowed at home or someone is laughing at him. I once had two brothers who called each other butt face and brown donuts hole. Mom thought it was soooo funny! needless to say, I did NOT enroll them.
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Old 02-17-2015, 02:40 PM
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Ever older boy that I have enrolled would love to talk about butts and poop. I think that it is allowed at home or someone is laughing at him. I once had two brothers who called each other butt face and brown donuts hole. Mom thought it was soooo funny! needless to say, I did NOT enroll them.
Yeah, there has to be a certain point where you let them know there are boundaries to butt jokes. I guess in that boy (3) I used to watch's family they call butts 'dudaloids' (I'm not sure how to spell it, it's another language). And I guess he thought it was funny to call people that but when he did that to me I told him thas not something you call people and that if he's going to go to preschool soon he won make any friends if he calls people that and they find out what it means; and that it might even get kicked out of the program (he's excited about the idea of going to school and making friends). Of course his family still lets him joke like that and he's often spoiled ('miracle baby', they were older parents) so he continued doing it, though last I heard his mom decided to wait another year before preschool (mostly because it's a small town and none of the centers there are 100% nut free).

To OP: it may be best to teach him (and all the kids) about personal space and boundaries. Maybe an activity where they make shields and whenever another child is invading their 'bubble' they say put it up and say "I need space" or something. May also need to talk to the boy's parents about them teaching him about good touch/bad touch (since when you get older touching someone's but can be considered sexual harassment) if you are not comfortable talking about it.
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Old 11-15-2015, 05:51 PM
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I allow the children to use as much potty language as they want - in the bathroom.

As for butt smelling, I'd explain why animals do that, then talk about the ways people get to know each other instead of butt smelling.

My 8 yr old is still obsessed with butts - gotta love boys!
Let them smell butts when a child has cut loose with some really smelly diarrhea and they can see how wonderful it is. Again, these little ones seem to be only just above animals and in some ways less trainable. It's been a long time since I was that age but I no memory of butts, penises or any of this...
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Old 11-16-2015, 06:29 AM
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Went through this with my daughter (It's not just boys!!) and apparently my husband did this as a kid. must be genetic

What worked for me was talking to her about her butt and her private parts. I got a book and we talked about all the different parts of her body and boys bodies and I really talked about it and talked about it. Then I asked her to ask any questions she had. I also explained what poop is and how it comes out yadda yadda yadda. I basically killed the curiosity with information!

They are definitely doing this out of curiosity and also to get reactions. If you treat it as a "learning opportunity" each and every time this comes up they might drop it. I also used to send kids to the bathroom when they'd talk about poop or butts. I would say something like "well you must need to go to the bathroom since you are talking about bathroom things". That helped too. Depends on the child.
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Old 11-16-2015, 07:35 AM
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OP stated that another parent of a little girl is upset about the constant talk and touching of her bottom. This would concern me as the provider, as it opens the door for liability issues.

I would start having whole group discussions on what is and is not appropriate every day at circle time with the children. No BUTT touching or talk, period. It doesn't really matter what we consider "normal" or "just curiosity" when a parent is upset about their daughter's butt being touched and what they are trying to teach her about what is okay for another person to touch on her body.

ETA: OP, I would discuss with all of the parents the concerns and ask that they support me in discouraging this type of behavior by not allowing it at home and by talking to their children at home about what is and isn't appropriate. I'd also provide the concerned parents with written info on what you are doing to stop the behavior.


I have one who is like this. It is especially rampant on Mondays. I remind him that we don't talk like that at my house. Period. Sounds like these two need a firm reminder followed by the stink eye and possibly some separation from each other if possible. This type of 'humour' is often funnier with an audience so I would take that possibility away.

I would also be talking to the parents involved.

I would also be encouraging the children who are bothered by ANY behaviour to use their words to ask their friends to stop and then remind friends that we respect each others words and stop when we are asked.
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Old 11-16-2015, 08:13 AM
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I have one who is like this. It is especially rampant on Mondays. I remind him that we don't talk like that at my house. Period. Sounds like these two need a firm reminder followed by the stink eye and possibly some separation from each other if possible. This type of 'humour' is often funnier with an audience so I would take that possibility away.

I would also be talking to the parents involved.

I would also be encouraging the children who are bothered by ANY behaviour to use their words to ask their friends to stop and then remind friends that we respect each others words and stop when we are asked.


I'll admit I'm not one who thinks "farts are funny" so take it FWIW. There is a world of difference IMO between a child who uses "poop" for the punchline of every joke and using your hands on other kids. The child was physically touching other children inappropriately. And that is not okay. Ever. As a parent I can see why the parent was annoyed as this was way beyond the usual poo jokes. It was crossing the line.
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