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mac60 03:25 AM 01-19-2011
The last 3 or 4 months have been tough here. From disruptive schedules due to kids going to "real preschool" interferring with my own program, to holding spots for a family for a year only to have them go to part time after 5 months, to screaming babies, to wiping snot on 2 kids for the past several months, to changing blown out diapers for over 5 months, from cleaning puke off my carpet 5 times in the last 6 months and always from the same 2 kids from the same family.....I could go on, I am getting so fed up.

I try to have a preschool program with my 3 preschoolers, but 2 of the 3 go to "real preschool", and the 3rd kid is gone every Wednesday, and it is a real struggle to do what I want to for my prescool activities. I am just ready to quit it, I don't get paid any extra for it anyways.

Snot....I have a now 1 1/2 yr old. He has had snot for over a year...yep...and bad. In December he had tubes in his ears, tonsils and abnoids taken out. I thought for sure he would get better. Nope. Not at all. And he whines and whines and whines...all day all the time. I am not talking a runny nose, but wads of snot that continually are coming down all day every day, and the parents NEVER bring a box of kleenex for him.

Poop....I have a just turned 1 yr old....was on the canned formula/mix with can of water type. For over 6 months, she would have massive poops about 2 to 3 times per day while here and poop out her clothes every time. Well the mom kept saying it was from "teething", NOT! Then, at 11 months, started switching her to milk. OMG, I am pretty sure she is lactose intolerant...or some allergic reaction to milk and the formula she was on. She poops 2 or 3 times a day here, and her bottom is so fire engine red complete with welts on it everyday and she screams every time I change her. About 4 weeks ago, shortly after them switching her to milk, she pooped in the pack in play and it was up her back, in her hair, on hands, all over the pack in play, mesh, etc. Was an absolute horrible horrible mess. I of coarse gave her a bath, had a heck of a time cleaning the pack in play, and told mom that I thought maybe she was having a hard time handling the milk. I have continued to mention to mom the relation of bad poop sore butt to milk. They still continue to give her milk. If they bring me a bottle of milk, I just dump it out. I will no longer give her milk at my house. It does not agree with her for whatever reason. When I don't give her milk, she has normal poops, and by the end of the day, after cremeing her bottom 3 or 4 times throughout the day, her bottom will be much better than when she arrived. Next morning, same sore bottom. I don't know why they are so blind to the correlation of milk/sore bottom/bad poops.Just doesn't make sense they don't get it. All I do know is I am done cleaning those kinds of massive poops and I have proven that it is the formula/milk.

I have had a family for 8 years, they had another baby that is 6 mo old. I saved them a spot their whole pregnancy plus the 3 months mom took off, only for them to now tell me they are going to 3 days per week. I am so flipping pissed. I saved them the spot, turned down other clients during this 11 mo time, and this is what I get. I am so sick of getting burnt in this business. You bend over backwards and do for these families, and this is what I get. Yep, I have cared for the older child 3 different times while mom went vacationing....4 days/then 5 days/then another 4 day trips. And never once did she offer me $5 for doing it....and yes I have learned my lesson. NO MORE.

My biggest problem is.....I am always afraid of pissing them off if I speak up. But why do I think it is ok for parents to disrespect my home, abuse my policies, etc, well, I don't think it is ok, I am just a weiny and don't speak up because of what "might" happen. GRR. And school is cancelled for day 2 today. yuck.
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momofboys 03:47 AM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
The last 3 or 4 months have been tough here. From disruptive schedules due to kids going to "real preschool" interferring with my own program, to holding spots for a family for a year only to have them go to part time after 5 months, to screaming babies, to wiping snot on 2 kids for the past several months, to changing blown out diapers for over 5 months, from cleaning puke off my carpet 5 times in the last 6 months and always from the same 2 kids from the same family.....I could go on, I am getting so fed up.

I try to have a preschool program with my 3 preschoolers, but 2 of the 3 go to "real preschool", and the 3rd kid is gone every Wednesday, and it is a real struggle to do what I want to for my prescool activities. I am just ready to quit it, I don't get paid any extra for it anyways.

Snot....I have a now 1 1/2 yr old. He has had snot for over a year...yep...and bad. In December he had tubes in his ears, tonsils and abnoids taken out. I thought for sure he would get better. Nope. Not at all. And he whines and whines and whines...all day all the time. I am not talking a runny nose, but wads of snot that continually are coming down all day every day, and the parents NEVER bring a box of kleenex for him.

Poop....I have a just turned 1 yr old....was on the canned formula/mix with can of water type. For over 6 months, she would have massive poops about 2 to 3 times per day while here and poop out her clothes every time. Well the mom kept saying it was from "teething", NOT! Then, at 11 months, started switching her to milk. OMG, I am pretty sure she is lactose intolerant...or some allergic reaction to milk and the formula she was on. She poops 2 or 3 times a day here, and her bottom is so fire engine red complete with welts on it everyday and she screams every time I change her. About 4 weeks ago, shortly after them switching her to milk, she pooped in the pack in play and it was up her back, in her hair, on hands, all over the pack in play, mesh, etc. Was an absolute horrible horrible mess. I of coarse gave her a bath, had a heck of a time cleaning the pack in play, and told mom that I thought maybe she was having a hard time handling the milk. I have continued to mention to mom the relation of bad poop sore butt to milk. They still continue to give her milk. If they bring me a bottle of milk, I just dump it out. I will no longer give her milk at my house. It does not agree with her for whatever reason. When I don't give her milk, she has normal poops, and by the end of the day, after cremeing her bottom 3 or 4 times throughout the day, her bottom will be much better than when she arrived. Next morning, same sore bottom. I don't know why they are so blind to the correlation of milk/sore bottom/bad poops.Just doesn't make sense they don't get it. All I do know is I am done cleaning those kinds of massive poops and I have proven that it is the formula/milk.

I have had a family for 8 years, they had another baby that is 6 mo old. I saved them a spot their whole pregnancy plus the 3 months mom took off, only for them to now tell me they are going to 3 days per week. I am so flipping pissed. I saved them the spot, turned down other clients during this 11 mo time, and this is what I get. I am so sick of getting burnt in this business. You bend over backwards and do for these families, and this is what I get. Yep, I have cared for the older child 3 different times while mom went vacationing....4 days/then 5 days/then another 4 day trips. And never once did she offer me $5 for doing it....and yes I have learned my lesson. NO MORE.

My biggest problem is.....I am always afraid of pissing them off if I speak up. But why do I think it is ok for parents to disrespect my home, abuse my policies, etc, well, I don't think it is ok, I am just a weiny and don't speak up because of what "might" happen. GRR. And school is cancelled for day 2 today. yuck.

Just one clarification. . . you provided FREE care for the mom to go on vacation?!?! Did I read/understand that correctly!? Youa re much too kind!
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mac60 03:59 AM 01-19-2011
Go ahead and smack me...... Yes. Seriously, I thought she would of offered me something....I am a fool and a sucker at times.
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 04:02 AM 01-19-2011
I understand your frustrations....some days I want to give this all up....really, I daydream to just coming home to MY kids ONLY. Then I think about my 5 and 7 year old being in daycare if I worked outside of the home and I just don't want that. It's so hard, I wish we could make it on one income sometimes, but that's not going to happen.

I have a hard time speaking up too, yet it gets you burnt in the end. I have much more of a backbone now than I used to, but in this business you have to be firm with some parents.
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momofboys 04:07 AM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
Go ahead and smack me...... Yes. Seriously, I thought she would of offered me something....I am a fool and a sucker at times.
Wow, MArie you are a saint & you deserve much better. That mom was a jerk to not pay you something, offer you a gift card or SOMETHING to show her appreciation. That is so rotten I feel awful for you. I think you need to sit down & take it easy today with a nice cup of coffee or hot chocolate & do something nice for YOU! Then you need to really form a plan of action as to how you are going to TAKE CHARGE of your business & set some of these parents straight.
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SilverSabre25 05:03 AM 01-19-2011
That girl who can't tolerate the milk--you NEED to tell the parents that she's allergic. Does she have eczema or anything? That's not okay for her to keep having something that so clearly makes her so sick! Her little tummy probably hurts horribly, too! I'd be half tempted to threaten to call CPS if they don't start giving her something else! Soy, almond, hemp, coconut...there are LOTS of options and she needs one!!
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momofsix 05:13 AM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
The last 3 or 4 months have been tough here. From disruptive schedules due to kids going to "real preschool" interferring with my own program, to holding spots for a family for a year only to have them go to part time after 5 months, to screaming babies, to wiping snot on 2 kids for the past several months, to changing blown out diapers for over 5 months, from cleaning puke off my carpet 5 times in the last 6 months and always from the same 2 kids from the same family.....I could go on, I am getting so fed up.

I try to have a preschool program with my 3 preschoolers, but 2 of the 3 go to "real preschool", and the 3rd kid is gone every Wednesday, and it is a real struggle to do what I want to for my prescool activities. I am just ready to quit it, I don't get paid any extra for it anyways.

Snot....I have a now 1 1/2 yr old. He has had snot for over a year...yep...and bad. In December he had tubes in his ears, tonsils and abnoids taken out. I thought for sure he would get better. Nope. Not at all. And he whines and whines and whines...all day all the time. I am not talking a runny nose, but wads of snot that continually are coming down all day every day, and the parents NEVER bring a box of kleenex for him.

Poop....I have a just turned 1 yr old....was on the canned formula/mix with can of water type. For over 6 months, she would have massive poops about 2 to 3 times per day while here and poop out her clothes every time. Well the mom kept saying it was from "teething", NOT! Then, at 11 months, started switching her to milk. OMG, I am pretty sure she is lactose intolerant...or some allergic reaction to milk and the formula she was on. She poops 2 or 3 times a day here, and her bottom is so fire engine red complete with welts on it everyday and she screams every time I change her. About 4 weeks ago, shortly after them switching her to milk, she pooped in the pack in play and it was up her back, in her hair, on hands, all over the pack in play, mesh, etc. Was an absolute horrible horrible mess. I of coarse gave her a bath, had a heck of a time cleaning the pack in play, and told mom that I thought maybe she was having a hard time handling the milk. I have continued to mention to mom the relation of bad poop sore butt to milk. They still continue to give her milk. If they bring me a bottle of milk, I just dump it out. I will no longer give her milk at my house. It does not agree with her for whatever reason. When I don't give her milk, she has normal poops, and by the end of the day, after cremeing her bottom 3 or 4 times throughout the day, her bottom will be much better than when she arrived. Next morning, same sore bottom. I don't know why they are so blind to the correlation of milk/sore bottom/bad poops.Just doesn't make sense they don't get it. All I do know is I am done cleaning those kinds of massive poops and I have proven that it is the formula/milk.

I have had a family for 8 years, they had another baby that is 6 mo old. I saved them a spot their whole pregnancy plus the 3 months mom took off, only for them to now tell me they are going to 3 days per week. I am so flipping pissed. I saved them the spot, turned down other clients during this 11 mo time, and this is what I get. I am so sick of getting burnt in this business. You bend over backwards and do for these families, and this is what I get. Yep, I have cared for the older child 3 different times while mom went vacationing....4 days/then 5 days/then another 4 day trips. And never once did she offer me $5 for doing it....and yes I have learned my lesson. NO MORE.

My biggest problem is.....I am always afraid of pissing them off if I speak up. But why do I think it is ok for parents to disrespect my home, abuse my policies, etc, well, I don't think it is ok, I am just a weiny and don't speak up because of what "might" happen. GRR. And school is cancelled for day 2 today. yuck.
UGH! No words of wisdom from me, but you do need to start doing what it takes to take care of YOU...whatever that might be! Hugs going yo9ur way!
PS that's very easy for me to SAY, but like you I'm afraid too
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mac60 05:18 AM 01-19-2011
I have mentioned more than a couple times to the mom about the correlation of milk/bad poop/sore butt, to no avail.
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SandeeAR 05:39 AM 01-19-2011
I think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, I would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.
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misol 05:54 AM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
I think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, I would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.
I think this sounds like a great and fair idea
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melskids 05:54 AM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
I think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, I would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.
yes!!!! agree!!!

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
That girl who can't tolerate the milk--you NEED to tell the parents that she's allergic. Does she have eczema or anything? That's not okay for her to keep having something that so clearly makes her so sick! Her little tummy probably hurts horribly, too! I'd be half tempted to threaten to call CPS if they don't start giving her something else! Soy, almond, hemp, coconut...there are LOTS of options and she needs one!!
and yes to that too!!!
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missnikki 06:07 AM 01-19-2011
SandeeAR hit it on the nose. They took the first step in trying to disrespect your program, and the ball is in your court. Go ahead and get what you deserve from it. They must have expected you to let it slide.

About the milk, I would just tell them that starting next week, milk will no longer be served to her. You will return to them any milk brought in. You will provide an alternative and apply the cost to the bill if they do not provide it. You know there is a direct correlation between her suffering and her milk intake, and yo are not going to let it continue. (End on a positive note) She's just such a joy when she isn't bothered by a terrible rash.
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Blackcat31 09:36 AM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by sandeear:
i think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, i would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.
like!!!!!!
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lvt77 10:04 AM 01-19-2011
I used to be exactly like you…Always wanted to please everyone else and was afraid to speak up. It took me getting really sick from all of the stress that I ended up in the hospital. After that happened, everything turned around. It was sad that it took me ending up in the hospital to realize that I was letting everyone walk all over me.
After getting taken advantage of so many times, I realized that it was my fault that all of the matters blew out of control. It was my husband who made me realize how much these families needed me, just as I needed them. That no amount of stress and drama was worth it, no matter how much one was willing to pay.
I had a parent hand book written and signed by all the parents, but was not even enforcing it? After my release from the hospital, I had to revise my handbook and tell parents I meant business. I had to put my foot down. It sounds like you might need to do the same.
In the end, this is your business, and if people don’t like your rules or policies, then you really don’t want them there anyways. There are always people out there that are going to appreciate you and respect you for all that you are and all that you do……. DON’T sell yourself short EVER!
You give the best; you only deserve the best in return….
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Michelle 10:05 AM 01-19-2011
I had the same thing happen with the milk /very bad smelling,runny, poop issue
It's kinda sad but some parents don't want to buy the lactaid or similar alternative because its more expensive .
I just buy it for the child in my care and send it home with them on Fri.

maybe you can do this and say" I know this milk is expensive but I hate to see her suffer , so I am willing to let you have this milk for the weekend " maybe they will get embarrassed and start buying it for her? I don't know , but it's worth a shot.

I once tried to get a parent of an autistic child to try that special no milk-no white flour diet and she laughed in my face.
So, I don't know... It's a good thing that little girl is in your loving care, she is lucky she has you because you care about her skin and her health.
Let us know hoe it goes,
hugs
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mac60 11:55 AM 01-19-2011
Do they make any kind of powered soymilk, or nonmilk product that I could go buy and try? She eats table food and drinks water well, so I am not worried she is not getting nutrition from milk.
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Michelle 12:58 PM 01-19-2011
I am not sure about powder, but try a small carton of lactaid.
I have a dcb that is lactose intolerant and the mom did good for about 4 years buying the lactaid then just suddenly decided he was not anymore and now he has been pooping in his pants at school everyday .
He says the kids tease him and I keep telling her to go back to the lactaid but she won't . So I get to clean up a big 8 year old boy when he gets to my house.

Believe me I feel the same way you do, we have a dirty job, nobody appreciates what we do and I get walked over ( but I allow it).
so hang in there 2 more days til Friday.

Also be careful with sour cream , icecream, etc.. Trader Joes is really good for having hard to find lac. free food and they might have powder milk
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katie 04:01 PM 01-19-2011
Respecting you makes ALL the difference. One family of my does, the other two don't Termed one last night. Going to term the other one soon. I don't want to run myself into the ground. People will take anything they can get from you. Term them. Someone else will come. It's not worth it!
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momma2girls 04:03 PM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by katie:
Respecting you makes ALL the difference. One family of my does, the other two don't Termed one last night. Going to term the other one soon. I don't want to run myself into the ground. People will take anything they can get from you. Term them. Someone else will come. It's not worth it!
I agree, discuss the matter with them, and if it doesn't get any better, or worse, terminate. It definately isn't worth it!!
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kendallina 04:56 PM 01-19-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
Do they make any kind of powered soymilk, or nonmilk product that I could go buy and try? She eats table food and drinks water well, so I am not worried she is not getting nutrition from milk.
I'm coming in a little late in the conversation...but, the possibility exists that she has either an intolerance to milk protein or is lactose intolerant. Those are two different things.

My daughter is allergic to milk protein, so the lactose-free products don't help her at all. The options that exist that don't contain milk protein are rice milk, almond milk, soy milk. I personally avoid soy milk because it has some natural chemicals in it that act like hormones and I'm don't believe it's safe. My daughter drinks almond milk, which doesn't have the same nutrients as cow's milk, but it's all she can tolerate and then I also give her a multivitamin/mineral.

That's an awful situation to be put in the middle of. This poor little girl is in pain and the mother isn't doing anything! Ugh, so frustrating...
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mac60 01:19 PM 01-20-2011
I asked the mom tonight if she thought maybe there was some correlation between the 1 yr olds bad poop/sore bottom, since when they switched her to milk is when the sore bottom started. She has always had bad bad blow out poops. She said hmm, but it just started.....ahhh, no it didn't. She has had bad poops for months and months...hence the forumula, and now they switched to milk, the bad poops are even worse and now comes with a massive sore butt. Mom says has dr appointment at end of month so will ask then. She also said.....She drinks lots and lots of milk.

It is frustrating to me, I have this 1 yr old 9 1/2 + hours per day, from anywhere from 6:45am to 4:45 to 5pm. I have her during 2 of her 3 meals of the day. I have her 75% of her waking hours Mon thru Fri......mom says she goes to bed at 8pm....So, go figure, I gave her no milk today the 9 1/2 hours I had her, she still had 2 massive poops, pooped out 1 outfit, and her bottom is fire engine red. She came in drinking a milk bottle to which I took away. What to do now, since I have now 2 times suggested to the mom that milk is the problem. Also, she does not nap well at all either, and this all started when the milk came into her diet.
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mac60 02:32 PM 01-20-2011
oops duplicate
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momma2girls 04:14 PM 01-20-2011
I once had a 2 yr. old boy that had the worse diarrhea ever!! I asked the Mom to please take him to the DR. She says the Dr. said it was teething!! I have never seen teething diapers that smelled like this and runny all over like this about 2-3 times per day!! It was so gross!!! I literally could smell it upstairs thru the ducts going into the laundry room, from a bedroom that he was in downstairs!! I opened the basement door and I could about pass out!! I asked her if he was drinking alot of juice. She said that and Koolaid!! OMG!! Koolaid at age 2!!! So I told her to stop all juice and Koolaid. She said she did, and it got a little bit better, down to once a day. I was so mad, when I helped her with both of her children out to her van one day, and the little boy grabbed his sippee cup in there, with red koolaid in it!!!! I told her if she wasn't going to stop the juice, koolaid like I had suggested, I was not going to be able to provide care for her any longer. He continued to have this day after day. So I laid it out on the line with her. She said I can't help he screams for juice all the time!!! So I said I will not be providing care for you any longer!! You should have seen the pack and play after he was done pooping in it!! Poop was all over it, we even tried to place a sheet and tie up the edges, he would always get it off. He played in it as well. I literally almost had to give him a baby wipe bath two- three times a day. YUCK!!!! I spent hrs. cleaning up the pack and play every week!! I was so mad!!
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lvt77 04:17 PM 01-20-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I once had a 2 yr. old boy that had the worse diarrhea ever!! I asked the Mom to please take him to the DR. She says the Dr. said it was teething!! I have never seen teething diapers that smelled like this and runny all over like this about 2-3 times per day!! It was so gross!!! I literally could smell it upstairs thru the ducts going into the laundry room, from a bedroom that he was in downstairs!! I opened the basement door and I could about pass out!! I asked her if he was drinking alot of juice. She said that and Koolaid!! OMG!! Koolaid at age 2!!! So I told her to stop all juice and Koolaid. She said she did, and it got a little bit better, down to once a day. I was so mad, when I helped her with both of her children out to her van one day, and the little boy grabbed his sippee cup in there, with red koolaid in it!!!! I told her if she wasn't going to stop the juice, koolaid like I had suggested, I was not going to be able to provide care for her any longer. He continued to have this day after day. So I laid it out on the line with her. She said I can't help he screams for juice all the time!!! So I said I will not be providing care for you any longer!! You should have seen the pack and play after he was done pooping in it!! Poop was all over it, we even tried to place a sheet and tie up the edges, he would always get it off. He played in it as well. I literally almost had to give him a baby wipe bath two- three times a day. YUCK!!!! I spent hrs. cleaning up the pack and play every week!! I was so mad!!
wow you are super nice and patient.... After two diapers full of diarrhea at my DC your outta here....
I bet you are glad that is over with...I felt sick just reading it....sorry you had to go through that...Or anyone for that matter...
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momma2girls 04:18 PM 01-20-2011
I went thru with this for about a month, until finally I said no more!!
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lvt77 04:21 PM 01-20-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I went thru with this for about a month, until finally I said no more!!
So there is no law against spanking the parents...lol I say we spank the parents instead....jk...
but trust me there were parents in the past that I wish I could have knocked some sense into..... Who gives a baby a bottle full of Kool-Aid?
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momma2girls 05:19 AM 01-21-2011
Originally Posted by lvt77:
So there is no law against spanking the parents...lol I say we spank the parents instead....jk...
but trust me there were parents in the past that I wish I could have knocked some sense into..... Who gives a baby a bottle full of Kool-Aid?
I know, I think back and shake my head!! There were so many parents that sucked!!!!!!!!!!!! Over the many yrs. of providing great care, I have always said "you meet all kinds!"
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lvt77 09:39 AM 01-21-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I know, I think back and shake my head!! There were so many parents that sucked!!!!!!!!!!!! Over the many yrs. of providing great care, I have always said "you meet all kinds!"
its a package deal cant have one with out the other....lol
I love all of my parents now, really are on board with everything. It took time to learn to sift through the sand to find the good ones that fit right....
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momma2girls 01:00 PM 01-21-2011
Originally Posted by lvt77:
its a package deal cant have one with out the other....lol
I love all of my parents now, really are on board with everything. It took time to learn to sift through the sand to find the good ones that fit right....
I totally agree!!
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cillybean83 08:52 PM 01-21-2011
my son is severely lactose intolerant, he has blowouts and projectile vomits if he's given milk. He drinks soy milk, rice milk, and almond milk and has had normal poops ever since! He gets a dropper of poly vi sol in his bottle every morning (i know my 13 month old shouldn't have a bottle, but he does, i'm bad!), he can handle small amounts of cheese so he eats 1/2 of a grilled cheese sandwich a couple days a week, and he can handle yogurt in small doses so he has 2-3 ounces of yogurt for breakfast 2-3 times per week. It's a PAIN to have a lactose intolerant kid but to ignore it and continue giving your child something that hurts their body and gives them horrid rashes is, in my opinion, a form of abuse. Try giving the lil one some soymilk and see how she does, and if she responds well get a shelf stable box of it (or rice milk, or almond, i know different people have different preferances), give it to mom when she hands you her morning milk bottle and say "try this at home, just to test and see if her poop issue clears up" and see what she says!
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