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Parents and Guardians Forum>Need Advice
Qpmomma 05:48 PM 09-13-2012
As I said in another thread, my 2 year old's daycare is closing next week b/c of lack of kids. It is a small church.
I interviewed a home daycare and another church daycare. The other churches in my area won't take my child b/c she isn't potty trained.
I LOVED the home daycare. The house was clean and organized. The teacher and her entire family are very sweet and likable. My 2 year old didn't want to leave! You could really tell she loves kids. My only problem is my daughter would be the only kid for a while until she picked up more kids. I know that some child has to be the first one, lol.
My problem with the church daycare: when I walked in the floors were not swept. I also did a search for their citations and they've had citations for cleanliness. That doesn't sit well with me. Also, they are on the state food program. According to the state I cannot bring any food for my child. I have this fear she won't like a meal they will serve and she will starve the entire day. However, they have 8 2 year olds (2 teachers in that class) and they offer a preschool.
My husband really wants her going to the church daycare. I, on the other hand, want her to go the home daycare at least until she's potty trained, then we can switch her to a better daycare/preschool.
I need thouhts and advice. My husband thinks I am over reacting about the church. He said I am "too picky." Am I? How common are violations for cleanliness?
Some of the things they got cited for: the changing table was soiled and had holes in it, the exhaust fan in the kitchen was covered with dust, here were raw egg shells next to the apples in the kitchen (why???), cleaning chemicals in the infant room, thumb tacks in the infant room, and others.
I really don't know. Are those enough to make you think twice? Or am I "too picky"?
I interviewed a home daycare and another church daycare. The other churches in my area won't take my child b/c she isn't potty trained.
I LOVED the home daycare. The house was clean and organized. The teacher and her entire family are very sweet and likable. My 2 year old didn't want to leave! You could really tell she loves kids. My only problem is my daughter would be the only kid for a while until she picked up more kids. I know that some child has to be the first one, lol.
My problem with the church daycare: when I walked in the floors were not swept. I also did a search for their citations and they've had citations for cleanliness. That doesn't sit well with me. Also, they are on the state food program. According to the state I cannot bring any food for my child. I have this fear she won't like a meal they will serve and she will starve the entire day. However, they have 8 2 year olds (2 teachers in that class) and they offer a preschool.
My husband really wants her going to the church daycare. I, on the other hand, want her to go the home daycare at least until she's potty trained, then we can switch her to a better daycare/preschool.
I need thouhts and advice. My husband thinks I am over reacting about the church. He said I am "too picky." Am I? How common are violations for cleanliness?
Some of the things they got cited for: the changing table was soiled and had holes in it, the exhaust fan in the kitchen was covered with dust, here were raw egg shells next to the apples in the kitchen (why???), cleaning chemicals in the infant room, thumb tacks in the infant room, and others.
I really don't know. Are those enough to make you think twice? Or am I "too picky"?
kathiemarie 06:02 PM 09-13-2012
Go with your gut feeling. It sounds like the home daycare would be fine but please don't go in with the thought "when she is potty trained then we can switch her to a better daycare/preschool." Your DC provider and your daughter will form a bond so please if you choose the home daycare go in with an open mind. You might want to keep looking until you find what you and your husband want.
Qpmomma 06:16 PM 09-13-2012
I didn't mean to say the home daycare isn't great. I am trying to keep an open mind. We really want her in a classroom setting at some point. That could be a year from now, it could be 2 years from now. After next Friday I will have no place for my child to go. In my area there aren't that many options. I have one center that is waaaaaay to expensive. I have church day cares. Most of them need her to be potty trained, or she would go to one of the other ones. That leaves me with the home daycare and the church that I mentioned.
daycare 06:28 PM 09-13-2012
Me personally, I would find one place and stay put. The last thing you want to do is get your child settled in and then have to get uprooted again.
As for the violations, I have been in business and yes i have NEVER have one violation. While the violations do seem minor, they also sound like someone is very careless or lazy. I would not put my child in a dirty daycare/preschool anything. Do you know how many germs are in a daycare/preschool?
Part of the provider/schools job is to provide a clean and healthy environment. To me there is nothing healthy about a dirty house or school.
I always say go with your gut.
As for the violations, I have been in business and yes i have NEVER have one violation. While the violations do seem minor, they also sound like someone is very careless or lazy. I would not put my child in a dirty daycare/preschool anything. Do you know how many germs are in a daycare/preschool?
Part of the provider/schools job is to provide a clean and healthy environment. To me there is nothing healthy about a dirty house or school.
I always say go with your gut.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 06:34 PM 09-13-2012
Why do you want your little one in a classroom setting? Just curious. I am a home childcare provider. I have had MANY kidlets transition from my house to kindergarten just fine. (I have kidlets in college now that were at my house)
I believe that little ones should be in a home enviroment for as long as possible when they are little. I love the progressive ages as apposed to the single age classrooms. Kids learn from the older ones and learn to care for the younger ones. It is awesome to see them together. My kids are still close to the friends they had at my house at school.
I love that when they are having a rough day I can love and snuggle on them. We can change what we were going to do to fit their needs. They have me loving them day in and out, not a variety of people.
My dd was in daycare centers when she was little because I was afraid to leave her with someone. I really didn't know the licensing or have any friends that had their kids with someone. I wish she would have been with someone.
Our kids grow up way to quick. Let your little one be little and relaxed. She will soon enough be in a classroom... and before you know it away at college. (my dd is in her jr yr at college)
I love all of my kids. My day centers around their needs and I know that when they leave my house they will be ready to tackle what is next.
(If you want to see some of the things we do at my house and I think it is pretty normal for home providers feel free to peek at my FB page www.facebook.com/MrsSteinelsHouse)
Do your homework on the home provider - ask for references etc. But, if you think your dd would do well there, she probably would.
I believe that little ones should be in a home enviroment for as long as possible when they are little. I love the progressive ages as apposed to the single age classrooms. Kids learn from the older ones and learn to care for the younger ones. It is awesome to see them together. My kids are still close to the friends they had at my house at school.
I love that when they are having a rough day I can love and snuggle on them. We can change what we were going to do to fit their needs. They have me loving them day in and out, not a variety of people.
My dd was in daycare centers when she was little because I was afraid to leave her with someone. I really didn't know the licensing or have any friends that had their kids with someone. I wish she would have been with someone.
Our kids grow up way to quick. Let your little one be little and relaxed. She will soon enough be in a classroom... and before you know it away at college. (my dd is in her jr yr at college)
I love all of my kids. My day centers around their needs and I know that when they leave my house they will be ready to tackle what is next.
(If you want to see some of the things we do at my house and I think it is pretty normal for home providers feel free to peek at my FB page www.facebook.com/MrsSteinelsHouse)
Do your homework on the home provider - ask for references etc. But, if you think your dd would do well there, she probably would.
lovemykidstoo 07:03 PM 09-13-2012
I don't think that you can ever be "too picky" when it comes to finding the person that is going to care for your child. I'm not sure the church daycare would be a good fit. If you have a feeling about it and it's not clean and has those particular violations, I'm not sure I would go there either. I'm with Mrs. Steinel's House though. Why are so many people fixated on preschool? I think that many daycares, mine included, teach the children what they need to do to enter kindergarten. You ask the kindergarten teacher what they really need to know and you will hear them say that it's not about knowing their ABC's. It's about learning how to follow directions, respect each other, being able to be self-sufficient, social skills etc. We do all of those things in a classroom center. I think that preschool is more for children that are not in daycares. Follow your heart!!
Qpmomma 07:09 PM 09-13-2012
We want her to play with other kids, be respectful and socialize. She's an only child and she may be an only child all her life. When she gets to kindergarten I don't want her to be that kid that doesn't know what to do. I want a well behaved kid. I want her used to following directions and listening to the teacher. I have major social anxiety and I don't want her turning out like me.
lovemykidstoo 07:33 PM 09-13-2012
Everything you just explained can be accomplished with a nice family daycare. They don't need 25 kids in a room to learn how to be respectiful, socialize, learn how to follow directions etc. I bring up all of the daycare kiddies to do all of those things and I'm not a preschool. I would say that about 90% of my daycare kids are only children. I think that preschool seriously is over rated. Even the kids that I have and have had in my daycare that have also done preschool say they haven't done anything different than what I've done. I still say it's great for kids that are with SAHM's and don't have the interaction with children and don't go to daycare.
Sunchimes 07:53 PM 09-13-2012
I am a home day care. I have a sibling set right now, a 25 mo old and a 7 month old. My 2 year old has been with me since she was 6 months old. Right now, she can say most of the alphabet, knows left and right, many colors and shapes, and she can count to 15. Why? Because we talk and sing and dance and play, and that's how a toddler learns. She spends the day as a member of our family, not a child in a group setting. She gets plenty of interaction with kids from her cousins and we have play dates with former kids who have left but still stay in touch.
I honestly think home day cares are under estimated. Kids are going to spend the rest of their lives regimented. Give them 4 or 5 years at home-either their own or one like mine--to be kids, free of regimentation.
As long as you are happy with the home and take your role seriously by being observant when you pick up and drop off, she will be happy in a home center, even if she is the only one for awhile, IMO.
I honestly think home day cares are under estimated. Kids are going to spend the rest of their lives regimented. Give them 4 or 5 years at home-either their own or one like mine--to be kids, free of regimentation.
As long as you are happy with the home and take your role seriously by being observant when you pick up and drop off, she will be happy in a home center, even if she is the only one for awhile, IMO.
cheerfuldom 09:42 PM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Everything you just explained can be accomplished with a nice family daycare. They don't need 25 kids in a room to learn how to be respectiful, socialize, learn how to follow directions etc. I bring up all of the daycare kiddies to do all of those things and I'm not a preschool. I would say that about 90% of my daycare kids are only children. I think that preschool seriously is over rated. Even the kids that I have and have had in my daycare that have also done preschool say they haven't done anything different than what I've done. I still say it's great for kids that are with SAHM's and don't have the interaction with children and don't go to daycare.
agree strongly with the bolded! In fact, I think that young kids like your daughter learn BETTER in a small group instead of an overcrowded, understaffed group. More is not always better. Are you sure that at the church daycare there are two teachers in the room for the full day? are you sure that the ratio of 8 kids to 2 teachers is what the ratio will be the whole time your kids are there? They may be down on enrollment right now and actually may grow to 12 or 16 kids, who knows? its an important question to ask. Does the home provider offer a structured day or any educational activities (even though it would be only your daughter for now)? Does the provider have sufficient experience or training even though she is just getting started at this location?Everything you just explained can be accomplished with a nice family daycare. They don't need 25 kids in a room to learn how to be respectiful, socialize, learn how to follow directions etc. I bring up all of the daycare kiddies to do all of those things and I'm not a preschool. I would say that about 90% of my daycare kids are only children. I think that preschool seriously is over rated. Even the kids that I have and have had in my daycare that have also done preschool say they haven't done anything different than what I've done. I still say it's great for kids that are with SAHM's and don't have the interaction with children and don't go to daycare.
Qpmomma 06:21 AM 09-14-2012
I think we found someone we both will like. She was recomended by our director. She's a licenced in home daycare and preschool. We are interviewing on Monday. I am going to look her up and check references. She sounds like she has a good program. I'm actually excited to meet her! If we do like her, I will keep my daughter there until kindergarten.
I've been thinking about what you all have said. Thank you for your imput. I also talked with my director and teachers and they all said she would do better in a small enviroment. I really hope it works out.
I've been thinking about what you all have said. Thank you for your imput. I also talked with my director and teachers and they all said she would do better in a small enviroment. I really hope it works out.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 09:29 AM 09-14-2012
Originally Posted by Qpmomma:
I think we found someone we both will like. She was recomended by our director. She's a licenced in home daycare and preschool. We are interviewing on Monday. I am going to look her up and check references. She sounds like she has a good program. I'm actually excited to meet her! If we do like her, I will keep my daughter there until kindergarten.
I've been thinking about what you all have said. Thank you for your imput. I also talked with my director and teachers and they all said she would do better in a small enviroment. I really hope it works out.
Praying you find the right person! I know how difficult this is. I have been there done that! Now, because she is an only and I know this is difficult I will say this one little bit of "warning". If she cries at drop off that doesn't mean anything is wrong, it means she loves you and it is hard to leave you. If she loves and kisses on the provider and "ignores" you. That is ok too she is telling you, ok mom, I've got this. And seriously, pray that your provider and your child do bond. I know that is hard but, for your dd to have that loving nuturing care provider is important. Don't feel slighted. You're her mom and she will always love you. Oh and don't bribe her to want you. Don't bribe with treats etc to get into the car. She will love you without all of that. The more matter of a fact you make it the better off you are. Take Care and let us know how it goes!!!I think we found someone we both will like. She was recomended by our director. She's a licenced in home daycare and preschool. We are interviewing on Monday. I am going to look her up and check references. She sounds like she has a good program. I'm actually excited to meet her! If we do like her, I will keep my daughter there until kindergarten.
I've been thinking about what you all have said. Thank you for your imput. I also talked with my director and teachers and they all said she would do better in a small enviroment. I really hope it works out.
Qpmomma 10:05 AM 09-14-2012
Thank you!
I would like to think I am a reasonable mom. One problem I was having at the other dayare was I was bringing in veggies, FRESH fruit (not canned), grilled chicken, ect. (food wasn't provided) and other moms were bringing in cupcakes, pancakes LOADED with syrup, donuts, CANDY BARS, ect for thier kids and they were having a hard time feeding my kid her healthy stuff b/c she wanted what the other kids had. Needless to say, I don't bribe her with sweets.
This home daycare provides all the food. I hope it's healthy!
Normally she does really well with me leaving her now. When she was 1.5 she tried to guilt me once or twice. But I just hug her, tell her I will be back soon, and run like hell out of there! lol Her teacher told me once I was out the door, she didn't even notice I was gone, lol. Now I am lucky if I get a hug! lol But I like it that she loves going there that much. I hope her next provider will be the same way. I work 9 hours a day and I feel guilty enough leaving her. I helps knowing she's having fun and really loves where she's at.
I would like to think I am a reasonable mom. One problem I was having at the other dayare was I was bringing in veggies, FRESH fruit (not canned), grilled chicken, ect. (food wasn't provided) and other moms were bringing in cupcakes, pancakes LOADED with syrup, donuts, CANDY BARS, ect for thier kids and they were having a hard time feeding my kid her healthy stuff b/c she wanted what the other kids had. Needless to say, I don't bribe her with sweets.
This home daycare provides all the food. I hope it's healthy!Normally she does really well with me leaving her now. When she was 1.5 she tried to guilt me once or twice. But I just hug her, tell her I will be back soon, and run like hell out of there! lol Her teacher told me once I was out the door, she didn't even notice I was gone, lol. Now I am lucky if I get a hug! lol But I like it that she loves going there that much. I hope her next provider will be the same way. I work 9 hours a day and I feel guilty enough leaving her. I helps knowing she's having fun and really loves where she's at.
daycare 10:09 AM 09-14-2012
Originally Posted by Qpmomma:
Thank you!
I would like to think I am a reasonable mom. One problem I was having at the other dayare was I was bringing in veggies, FRESH fruit (not canned), grilled chicken, ect. (food wasn't provided) and other moms were bringing in cupcakes, pancakes LOADED with syrup, donuts, CANDY BARS, ect for thier kids and they were having a hard time feeding my kid her healthy stuff b/c she wanted what the other kids had. Needless to say, I don't bribe her with sweets. This home daycare provides all the food. I hope it's healthy!
Normally she does really well with me leaving her now. When she was 1.5 she tried to guilt me once or twice. But I just hug her, tell her I will be back soon, and run like hell out of there! lol Her teacher told me once I was out the door, she didn't even notice I was gone, lol. Now I am lucky if I get a hug! lol But I like it that she loves going there that much. I hope her next provider will be the same way. I work 9 hours a day and I feel guilty enough leaving her. I helps knowing she's having fun and really loves where she's at.
you sound like a saint......... please come to my DC. I only serve healthy food. I wish I had parents that think like you do.Thank you!
I would like to think I am a reasonable mom. One problem I was having at the other dayare was I was bringing in veggies, FRESH fruit (not canned), grilled chicken, ect. (food wasn't provided) and other moms were bringing in cupcakes, pancakes LOADED with syrup, donuts, CANDY BARS, ect for thier kids and they were having a hard time feeding my kid her healthy stuff b/c she wanted what the other kids had. Needless to say, I don't bribe her with sweets.
This home daycare provides all the food. I hope it's healthy!Normally she does really well with me leaving her now. When she was 1.5 she tried to guilt me once or twice. But I just hug her, tell her I will be back soon, and run like hell out of there! lol Her teacher told me once I was out the door, she didn't even notice I was gone, lol. Now I am lucky if I get a hug! lol But I like it that she loves going there that much. I hope her next provider will be the same way. I work 9 hours a day and I feel guilty enough leaving her. I helps knowing she's having fun and really loves where she's at.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 04:31 PM 09-14-2012
Yes, I would take you also I have just had a couple of moms lately that have shocked me with what they do to get their kids into the car!
I am sure you will find the provider that is right for you both! Let us know!
I have just had a couple of moms lately that have shocked me with what they do to get their kids into the car!I am sure you will find the provider that is right for you both! Let us know!
Qpmomma 08:05 AM 09-15-2012
Our appointment is Monday night, so I will let you all know how it goes. 
Unfortunatly, mother's common sense has gone out the window. There is one mom at my daughter's DC that I cannot stand. Her son has been here for 2 years and she has never let him adjust to daycare in that time! She will tell him "if you have a bad day tell your teacher and I will come and get you, ok?"
I asked the teacher the other day if she has ever called his mom when he told her to and she said no, lol. Good for her! This mom also brings McDonald's pancakes every morning for her son. EVERY morning! So while my child is eating yogurt and fresh fruit, she sees he's eating junk food. One morning he was eating a freaking CUPCAKE!!!! FOR BREAKFAST!!! I asked the teacher if he was eating a cupcake and she said "his mom said it was a muffin." Her tone told me she knew it was a cupcake. I talked with the assistant director and she said she wished they were on the food program for that exact reason. Unfortunatly, the church board voted against it. Yup, people who don't even have kids, voted against having a food program. These same people voted to close the daycare. 
I want my kid to be a well adjusted member of society. I want her to be fine with me not there. She is very well adjusted. She's polite, doesn't hit, doesn't bite, and is very outgoing and talkative. I feel like I am doing something right. Why parents want to take the easy way out and not the best way is mind boggling to me. I want a healthy kid, physically and emotionally. This is why I loved her daycare so much. I really feel like her teachers helped me raise her for 2 years. That's what I am looking for in another provider. I want someone who will help me raise her. Someone who shares my values. After reading a lot of the posts on the forum by home daycare providers I feel like I can now find that with a smaller enviroment.
The funny thing is a while back I was going to quit my job to start a home daycare. I ended up not doing it because I loved my child's daycare so much and because my husband didn't think it was the right move for our family. I now wish I would have taken that leap.
Unfortunatly, mother's common sense has gone out the window. There is one mom at my daughter's DC that I cannot stand. Her son has been here for 2 years and she has never let him adjust to daycare in that time! She will tell him "if you have a bad day tell your teacher and I will come and get you, ok?"
I asked the teacher the other day if she has ever called his mom when he told her to and she said no, lol. Good for her! This mom also brings McDonald's pancakes every morning for her son. EVERY morning! So while my child is eating yogurt and fresh fruit, she sees he's eating junk food. One morning he was eating a freaking CUPCAKE!!!! FOR BREAKFAST!!! I asked the teacher if he was eating a cupcake and she said "his mom said it was a muffin." Her tone told me she knew it was a cupcake. I talked with the assistant director and she said she wished they were on the food program for that exact reason. Unfortunatly, the church board voted against it. Yup, people who don't even have kids, voted against having a food program. These same people voted to close the daycare. I want my kid to be a well adjusted member of society. I want her to be fine with me not there. She is very well adjusted. She's polite, doesn't hit, doesn't bite, and is very outgoing and talkative. I feel like I am doing something right. Why parents want to take the easy way out and not the best way is mind boggling to me. I want a healthy kid, physically and emotionally. This is why I loved her daycare so much. I really feel like her teachers helped me raise her for 2 years. That's what I am looking for in another provider. I want someone who will help me raise her. Someone who shares my values. After reading a lot of the posts on the forum by home daycare providers I feel like I can now find that with a smaller enviroment.
The funny thing is a while back I was going to quit my job to start a home daycare. I ended up not doing it because I loved my child's daycare so much and because my husband didn't think it was the right move for our family. I now wish I would have taken that leap.
MizzCheryl 06:40 PM 09-15-2012
[quote=Qpmomma;262325]
My husband really wants her going to the church daycare. I, on the other hand, want her to go the home daycare at least until she's potty trained, then we can switch her to a better daycare/preschool.
QUOTE]
Just because it is a center it is definatly not better. It is just different. Home child care has many advantages and is great in it's own way. Your daughter would have time to bond with her provider as she picks up more clients.
Don't mean to seem aerogant but I have been told My home daycare was the best in town.
If you are just gonna leave the kid there long enough to get potty trained that would be unfair to the provider and your child.
My husband really wants her going to the church daycare. I, on the other hand, want her to go the home daycare at least until she's potty trained, then we can switch her to a better daycare/preschool.
QUOTE]
Just because it is a center it is definatly not better. It is just different. Home child care has many advantages and is great in it's own way. Your daughter would have time to bond with her provider as she picks up more clients.
Don't mean to seem aerogant but I have been told My home daycare was the best in town.
If you are just gonna leave the kid there long enough to get potty trained that would be unfair to the provider and your child.
lovemykidstoo 07:33 PM 09-15-2012
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
I am a home day care. I have a sibling set right now, a 25 mo old and a 7 month old. My 2 year old has been with me since she was 6 months old. Right now, she can say most of the alphabet, knows left and right, many colors and shapes, and she can count to 15. Why? Because we talk and sing and dance and play, and that's how a toddler learns. She spends the day as a member of our family, not a child in a group setting. She gets plenty of interaction with kids from her cousins and we have play dates with former kids who have left but still stay in touch.
I honestly think home day cares are under estimated. Kids are going to spend the rest of their lives regimented. Give them 4 or 5 years at home-either their own or one like mine--to be kids, free of regimentation.
As long as you are happy with the home and take your role seriously by being observant when you pick up and drop off, she will be happy in a home center, even if she is the only one for awhile, IMO.
Amen!!!! I think that in-home daycares are underestimated also. My DCK's all learn those things too. We dont' have to be labeled a preschool to do that. I think it's important for the kids to be in a loving setting that resembles a home. Let them get the nurturing they need while their little.I am a home day care. I have a sibling set right now, a 25 mo old and a 7 month old. My 2 year old has been with me since she was 6 months old. Right now, she can say most of the alphabet, knows left and right, many colors and shapes, and she can count to 15. Why? Because we talk and sing and dance and play, and that's how a toddler learns. She spends the day as a member of our family, not a child in a group setting. She gets plenty of interaction with kids from her cousins and we have play dates with former kids who have left but still stay in touch.
I honestly think home day cares are under estimated. Kids are going to spend the rest of their lives regimented. Give them 4 or 5 years at home-either their own or one like mine--to be kids, free of regimentation.
As long as you are happy with the home and take your role seriously by being observant when you pick up and drop off, she will be happy in a home center, even if she is the only one for awhile, IMO.