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MomBoss 05:08 AM 04-27-2018
Do you allow laces? Dcp brought child who is 2 with new shoes for summer, he says "unfortunately you have to tie them"
I know that wasnt their only option, so why would they think i want to tie and untie their childs shoes every time! Im trying to teach independence. How do I go about explaining nicely that she needs to come in shoes that she can put on and off herself that dont require you to tie? Its too time consuming if I had all 7 kids that needed their shoes tied.
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Snowmom 05:51 AM 04-27-2018
There are some providers who prefer tie shoes and some who prefer velcro.

I prefer velcro or shoes they can manage themselves. If they CAN tie shoes themselves, I will allow it.

If you don't have a written policy to point them to, then I would say: "Jane, the shoes Joey has for outdoor play won't work here. I need safe, sturdy shoes that are easy for the children to manage themselves. Self help skills are a necessity for group care and it gives them the confidence to try new skills. Thanks for understanding."
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Blackcat31 06:19 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
Do you allow laces? Dcp brought child who is 2 with new shoes for summer, he says "unfortunately you have to tie them"
I know that wasnt their only option, so why would they think i want to tie and untie their childs shoes every time! Im trying to teach independence. How do I go about explaining nicely that she needs to come in shoes that she can put on and off herself that dont require you to tie? Its too time consuming if I had all 7 kids that needed their shoes tied.
I am one of those providers that Snowmom mentioned.

I require shoes with laces and do not allow shoes that just slip on or those with Velcro, open toes or Crocs.

Well fitting athletic shoes that tie. ONLY.

I have an "assembly line" type process that is used to get ready to go outside both in the winter and summer months.

Tying shoes for 10+ children takes only a few minutes.

Several of my 3 yr olds and all my 4 yr olds can tie their own shoes.

I have yet to have a child head off to kindergarten without being able to tie their own shoes.




More threads about shoes
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=shoes
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rosieteddy 06:21 AM 04-27-2018
Obviously he new they were the wrong choice.Iwould instate a new policy effective immediately. Iwould say you have one week to purchase Velcro shoes.Even a less expensive pair would be fine.Not fair when you care for so many.
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lovemykidstoo 06:23 AM 04-27-2018
For 2 year olds I prefer velcro. That way they can start at least learning how to do that for themselves. I do tie shoes at about 4. Too many times I've had kids come with tie shoes and the parents double knot them so tight so they don't come undone that I cant' get them untied. Frustrating.
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MomBoss 07:35 AM 04-27-2018
All the children i have (7) are 3 and under. So it already takes awhile to get ready for outside since most dont know how to put on their own shoes or jacket. It would just make my life easier if i wasnt spending so much time getting them ready for outside.
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Blackcat31 07:39 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
All the children i have (7) are 3 and under. So it already takes awhile to get ready for outside since most dont know how to put on their own shoes or jacket. It would just make my life easier if i wasnt spending so much time getting them ready for outside.
For some provider's it's about making their life easier.

For some providers it's about teaching the kids/long term outcomes and goals.

Neither is right or wrong. It's what works for you.
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MomBoss 07:43 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
For some provider's it's about making their life easier.

For some providers it's about teaching the kids/long term outcomes and goals.

Neither is right or wrong. It's what works for you.
Lol i guess im also speaking in terms of being 9 months pregnant and having a hard time bending/moving as im in so much pain! When we still had snow i dreaded getting them ready for outside. Nobody can put their own suits/boots/jackets on and i was just about dead by the time we got outside.
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lovemykidstoo 07:46 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
All the children i have (7) are 3 and under. So it already takes awhile to get ready for outside since most dont know how to put on their own shoes or jacket. It would just make my life easier if i wasnt spending so much time getting them ready for outside.
Not that this is an expert opinion, but I found this on parents.com. I say do what works for you. Are the parents teaching them how to tie shoes at home also? Because, imo, like toilet training, it has to be consistent.
This refers to the development of fine motor skills.
https://www.parents.com/advice/big-k...heir-own-shoes
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lovemykidstoo 07:48 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
Lol i guess im also speaking in terms of being 9 months pregnant and having a hard time bending/moving as im in so much pain! When we still had snow i dreaded getting them ready for outside. Nobody can put their own suits/boots/jackets on and i was just about dead by the time we got outside.
Oh shoot, being 9 months pregnant on top of it? You poor thing!
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MomBoss 08:01 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Oh shoot, being 9 months pregnant on top of it? You poor thing!
I regret working til my due date. I didnt think it would be this hard or that i would be carrying so low with a huge baby. They are predicting 9lbs.
If the child is ready to learn how to tie shoes, its one thing, but a newly 2 yr old who barely knows how to put their shoes on is not ready to learn how to tie. I also have a group of parents that dont teach their kids self help and do everything for them.
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Blackcat31 08:02 AM 04-27-2018
Parents who avoid teaching children how to tie shoelaces are hindering their development according to this:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/educatio...velopment.html

Awesome site by the shoe lace guy!
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/

Like anything and everything now days, kids seem to master skills at a much later age than previous generations.

Riding a bike, dressing/undressing, toilet use, tying shoes, writing, reading, using utensils/open cups etc.... everything seems to be taught later and later and skills we, ourselves knew prior to Kindergarten, are now acceptable to be left to the wayside and introduced somewhere in the early public school years verses at home.


@MomBoss....being pregnant though, especially this far along......gives you a pass for alot of things!
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Miss A 08:12 AM 04-27-2018
In my current group the only child that had tie shoes is the 12 month old. She can not put her own shoes on and I always have to help her, so it is no big deal to have to tie her shoes as I put them on.

My others though and between 18mo and 2yr. We are really working on self help and independence here, and having shoes that they can put on and do up themselves is important. Once they figure out that they are able to slip their feet into those shoes and do up the Velcro it is so exciting. They clap and cheer for one another, and I have found that once they master putting their own shoes on, they are wanting to try putting their own coats on, or to zip them themselves. One mastered skill is definitely needed as a solid base to build on within my group.
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lovemykidstoo 08:27 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
I regret working til my due date. I didnt think it would be this hard or that i would be carrying so low with a huge baby. They are predicting 9lbs.
If the child is ready to learn how to tie shoes, its one thing, but a newly 2 yr old who barely knows how to put their shoes on is not ready to learn how to tie. I also have a group of parents that dont teach their kids self help and do everything for them.
Exactly! I refuse to do things like that unless a parent is doing it too. It is self-defeating to teach them something like that if at home the parent doesn't even allow them to put their own shoes on let alone tie them. I view it the same as toilet training. I do not toilet train unless they're doing it at home too.
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lovemykidstoo 08:28 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by Miss A:
In my current group the only child that had tie shoes is the 12 month old. She can not put her own shoes on and I always have to help her, so it is no big deal to have to tie her shoes as I put them on.

My others though and between 18mo and 2yr. We are really working on self help and independence here, and having shoes that they can put on and do up themselves is important. Once they figure out that they are able to slip their feet into those shoes and do up the Velcro it is so exciting. They clap and cheer for one another, and I have found that once they master putting their own shoes on, they are wanting to try putting their own coats on, or to zip them themselves. One mastered skill is definitely needed as a solid base to build on within my group.
That is how I do it too. It's worked well for 17 years.
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lovemykidstoo 08:34 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Parents who avoid teaching children how to tie shoelaces are hindering their development according to this:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/educatio...velopment.html

Awesome site by the shoe lace guy!
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/

Like anything and everything now days, kids seem to master skills at a much later age than previous generations.

Riding a bike, dressing/undressing, toilet use, tying shoes, writing, reading, using utensils/open cups etc.... everything seems to be taught later and later and skills we, ourselves knew prior to Kindergarten, are now acceptable to be left to the wayside and introduced somewhere in the early public school years verses at home.


@MomBoss....being pregnant though, especially this far along......gives you a pass for alot of things!
Good sites. I agree, like the article says, "A report published in 2013 showed that few children had managed to learn the skill before the age of six, with many still having difficulty until the age of nine or ten when they started getting interested in sport." That is a bit much for parents/providers not to teach tieing by that age. The article I referred to was 2 to 3 yr olds. My dck's learn it here at 4. Before that I don't.

I love the first link with the different tieing methods! My older kids would love to try some of those!! Looks fun! Thanks for the link!
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lovemykidstoo 08:35 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
I regret working til my due date. I didnt think it would be this hard or that i would be carrying so low with a huge baby. They are predicting 9lbs.
If the child is ready to learn how to tie shoes, its one thing, but a newly 2 yr old who barely knows how to put their shoes on is not ready to learn how to tie. I also have a group of parents that dont teach their kids self help and do everything for them.
Wishing you the best of luck on your delivery!!! YOu'll have to post pics of the new baby!
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lovemykidstoo 08:37 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am one of those providers that Snowmom mentioned.

I require shoes with laces and do not allow shoes that just slip on or those with Velcro, open toes or Crocs.

Well fitting athletic shoes that tie. ONLY.

I have an "assembly line" type process that is used to get ready to go outside both in the winter and summer months.

Tying shoes for 10+ children takes only a few minutes.

Several of my 3 yr olds and all my 4 yr olds can tie their own shoes.

I have yet to have a child head off to kindergarten without being able to tie their own shoes.




More threads about shoes
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=shoes
Same here. They all learn it before I send them off too. Fun to see how excited they are and how grown up they feel!
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Blackcat31 08:43 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Good sites. I agree, like the article says, "A report published in 2013 showed that few children had managed to learn the skill before the age of six, with many still having difficulty until the age of nine or ten when they started getting interested in sport."
Yes, I was surprised to read that info...My belief is more aligned with the paragraph following that info:

"The findings represented a major shift in social habits. Just thirty years ago, being able to tie shoelaces was regarded as a skill to be learnt by the age of four"

Someone else mentioned parents working with and supporting their kids and I have to agree that is a huge part of it so while teaching kids to tie their shoes by age 4 works for me in my program I can see how it wouldn't be conducive for others if they don't have parents that believe the same.

I think independent skills in general have really taken a back seat with parents now days and things we, ourselves were taught and taught our own kids are vastly different than kids now days.

I remember walking to and from school (about 6 blocks) in Kindergarten and never once felt afraid or unsure... as I knew my neighborhood well. Now there are a few 3rd graders I know that wouldn't have a clue where their house is being only a block or two away....
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Baby Beluga 08:59 AM 04-27-2018
I do not allow tie shoes until the child can independtly tie them. And the parents must teach this skill. I have this rule for a couple of reasons.

I do not allow shoes indoors, so the children put their shoes on/off frequently throughout the day. I don't want to tie 8 little shoes multiple times a day

I encourage independence in my littles. And giving a child who is far from capable of tying their own shoe one with laces leads to a lot of frustration and tears. Especially since many of my children the past couple of years have been behind what I would consider normal in self help skills.

Side note, I have one boy, 5, who is way behind emotionally and self help wise. Mom brought him in high top tennis shoes that zipped AND laces up. They were so hard to get on. Even for me. This poor kid didn't stand a chance. I kept them off and let dad put them on upon arrival. He tried for a good 5 minutes, couldn't do it and then said the shoes were terrible.
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tenderhearts 09:04 AM 04-27-2018
It depends for me, I don't mind any type of shoes as long as the child is able to put them on and take them off by themselves. However, if it's a child that doesn't know how yet then I prefer tie shoes as flip flops or other types when they fall off which is constant then I always have to put them on..
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lovemykidstoo 09:21 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Yes, I was surprised to read that info...My belief is more aligned with the paragraph following that info:

"The findings represented a major shift in social habits. Just thirty years ago, being able to tie shoelaces was regarded as a skill to be learnt by the age of four"

Someone else mentioned parents working with and supporting their kids and I have to agree that is a huge part of it so while teaching kids to tie their shoes by age 4 works for me in my program I can see how it wouldn't be conducive for others if they don't have parents that believe the same.

I think independent skills in general have really taken a back seat with parents now days and things we, ourselves were taught and taught our own kids are vastly different than kids now days.

I remember walking to and from school (about 6 blocks) in Kindergarten and never once felt afraid or unsure... as I knew my neighborhood well. Now there are a few 3rd graders I know that wouldn't have a clue where their house is being only a block or two away....
Most likely because there was no other choice in shoes that people adapted, but I most certainly agree with you that kids today are just not learning so many skills. I have 6 kids a day from 8 months on up to 4. It drives me out of my mind when every single one of them come in my door and either just walk in without taking their stuff off or standing there with their feet in the air while mom/dad takes their stuff off them. I always say the same thing, "you know how to do that, you do it every day when we go out". Why do parents feel the need to strip them down when the kids know how to do it? Drives me nuts! I still have one that when mom puts him in the car( 4 years old) sticks a pacifier in his mouth. UGH!!! So yes, I do like to start with tieing at 4, but I know that this group the parents will not be on board, so will I still do it? hmmmmm probably for the child's sake, but it will drive me nuts
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happymom 09:47 AM 04-27-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

Several of my 3 yr olds and all my 4 yr olds can tie their own shoes.

I have yet to have a child head off to kindergarten without being able to tie their own shoes.




More threads about shoes
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=shoes
WHERE ARE YOU IN MY LIFE BLACKCAT!?

I assessed my son's kindergarten class for shoe tying skills a few weeks ago (these are kids who just finished 3rd quarter of kindergarten) and SIX out of 22 kids could tie their shoes.
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MomBoss 01:54 PM 04-27-2018
Annnnnnnd weve been outside for 30min and already had to retie them 3 times. Double knotted even
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alyssahenderson 02:42 AM 04-30-2018
Try to talk to the parents about this issue, and discuss them your rules. I bet they will understand your side.
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MissAnn 11:02 AM 04-30-2018
I teach shoe tying after Christmas to kids heading for kindergarten. They can bring tie shoes then.
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KSDC 12:47 PM 05-02-2018
I have in my handbook that children should be in velcro or slip on shoes until they are old enough to learn how to tie them themselves. This age is totally dependent on the child's fine motor skills and the willingness of the parents to work on the skill. It usually happens spring/summer before they go off to kindergarten.

I got tired of tying/retying shoes for 2 years olds!
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Cat Herder 02:12 PM 05-02-2018
We were taught it is an age 5 skill. To push it at 3-4 is "not DAP". It can cost points. Tying dolls and boxes, however, are just dandy.

I don't allow tie shoes. I am cool with that because I do many other things that most don't do, instead.

"• Age 3: Child can hold pencil with first two fingers and thumb (digital pronate grasp). Can copy a circle, imitate a cross, trace a square and scribble on paper. He or she can snip paper and cut a straight line using scissors. The development of a dominant hand is established and child will use non-dominant hand to stabilize paper. Can perform palm-to-finger translation with small objects. Can build a 9 block tower, catch a ball using both hands and can string ½ inch beads. Child may be able to untie a bow, unbutton buttons, and snap and unsnap basic clothing fasteners.

• Age 4: Can demonstrate a tripod grasp with writing utensils. Can copy a cross and imitate a square and X. He or she can color pictures, but will most likely have difficulty staying within the lines. Can build a 6-cube pyramid from imitation and complete a puzzle of 3-5 pieces. Can stack 10 cubes and thread ¼ inch beads. He or she can use scissors to cut out simple shapes, staying on the lines. The child can manage buttons completely, zip most zippers and manage belt buckles or shoes. He or she should be able to dress themselves with minimal supervision. Can recognize right shoe from left.

• Age 5: Preferred hand use is more consistent. Can sew through holes on a lacing card. Is able to cut out a circle. He or she should be able to copy a square or triangle and trace other complex shapes. He or she will begin to color pictures neatly staying in the lines. Can trace letters of the alphabet and begin to copy first name. Can build a 6 cube step and complete a12-15 piece puzzle. Can dress without supervision. He or she begins to tie shoes. Uses a knife for spreading during meal time.

• Age 6: Handwriting should be appropriate for grade. Can cut out complex shapes using scissors. Holds and manipulates paper during cutting. Begins to copy letters of the alphabet. "
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