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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Anyone Know Anything About Night Terrors?
permanentvacation 02:26 PM 12-20-2011
One of my daycare kids has had night terrors almost nightly for about a year! The parents have occassionally mentioned her having a night terror to me and I thought she just had one on those occassions when they told me about them. But they just told me a couple of days ago that she actually has been having them constantly - almost nightly for about a year! She's almost 4 years old now, so she's been having them since she was about 3. I have had her in my care since she was about 1 1/2 years old. I just mentioned to the dad that she has ALWAYS played that someone was getting 'taken' ( kidnapped) - but she doesn't know that word so she'll say something like "oh no! somone has taken my baby, (or child) and I can't find him/her!" She also plays that someone is seriously hurt - you can tell just by her expressions that she's playing that they're seriously hurt - not just a 'boo-boo or a scraped knee - she's more like "Oh no! my baby got hurt! call the hospital! She'll get really dramatic and say to her 'baby' something like, " It will be alright baby, just hold on, we'll get you to the doctor!" then something like, 'Oh no! We can't find the doctor - he's lost!" This type of dramatic someone is seriously hurt or being 'taken' type of play is how she plays almost ALL the time! I have to constantly tell her to play something nice and fun. I tell her that being taken isn't a nice thing to have happen and she needs to play nice things like - act like the little people are getting in the car to go to the zoo, or the mall. I am CONSTANTLY trying to get her to stop playing scary things. I don't know exactly when she started playing like this - just ever since I can remember! I have no clue what prompted her to begin playing like this. But since her parents just told me a couple of days ago that she has been having night terrors almost nightly, I have been researching night terrors and trying to help figure out how to help her stop having them. Today it occured to me that she has been playing scary concepts for about a year or so and that this type of play might lead to scary dreams - night terrors.
So, does anyone know anything about night terrors - what causes them and how to make them stop are my main concerns here. On some websites, it says stress and being overly tired can cause them. Anyone know anything else and have any advise on how to make them stop?
Even though the websites say being tired might make them come on, I have thought about keeping her up from nap in hopes that she would be so tired at night that she would fall into a good deep sleep at night and not be in the lighter sleep mode when dreams happen. Since she doesn't sleep well at night, she's exhausted here every day. Often she falls asleep in the morning and then sleeps in a dead sleep at naptime and is the first to fall asleep and then I have to wake her up from a deep sleep every day to get her up from nap. So I started thinking today that if I keep her up all day, maybe she will fall into a good deep sleep at night and be so tired that she will actually sleep through the night. I don't know. But now that I know this happens constantly, I really feel bad for her - and the parents!
They most likely need to take her to a councelor or professional along those lines, but I don't know that they will do that. So, I'm trying to help the parents figure things out on our own.
So, does anyone know anything about night terrors - what causes them and how to make them stop are my main concerns here. On some websites, it says stress and being overly tired can cause them. Anyone know anything else and have any advise on how to make them stop?
Even though the websites say being tired might make them come on, I have thought about keeping her up from nap in hopes that she would be so tired at night that she would fall into a good deep sleep at night and not be in the lighter sleep mode when dreams happen. Since she doesn't sleep well at night, she's exhausted here every day. Often she falls asleep in the morning and then sleeps in a dead sleep at naptime and is the first to fall asleep and then I have to wake her up from a deep sleep every day to get her up from nap. So I started thinking today that if I keep her up all day, maybe she will fall into a good deep sleep at night and be so tired that she will actually sleep through the night. I don't know. But now that I know this happens constantly, I really feel bad for her - and the parents!
They most likely need to take her to a councelor or professional along those lines, but I don't know that they will do that. So, I'm trying to help the parents figure things out on our own.
SilverSabre25 02:34 PM 12-20-2011
Well for one, if it's not bothering the other kids, I would let her work out those scary themes. Get down and play with her. Steer the story (if you can) so that it all works out okay in the end. "Oh, no, let's find the baby! Oh there she is, she's looking at the elephants! You scared us baby!"
Usually, children have no idea that they had a night terror. Often they come on when a child is overtired or getting over being sick. Generally the child is screaming and crying and can't be reasoned with and won't communicate during the terror. Then they come out of it and go back to sleep as if nothing happened (and really, they weren't actually awake to begin with).
During a night terror the best thing a parent can do for the child is to lay beside them and just *be there*--nothing you do or say will make any difference. The child is usually impossible to wake up. It's hard, it is so, so, SO hard to listen to your baby in such terror and sadness and be unable to help. Can you tell that I've had some experience with these?
Having them nightly seems unusual and I would wonder if they were truly night terrors, or if they are nightmares. If they are nightmares and the child is waking up, then I would be wanting to know where she's getting these scary ideas (because she might be playing out the scary things she's dreaming)--does someone tell her scary stories? Does she watch prime time TV with her parents? Has she or someone she knew been badly injured at some point?
Them calling and talking with a child psychologist may not be a bad thing.
Usually, children have no idea that they had a night terror. Often they come on when a child is overtired or getting over being sick. Generally the child is screaming and crying and can't be reasoned with and won't communicate during the terror. Then they come out of it and go back to sleep as if nothing happened (and really, they weren't actually awake to begin with).
During a night terror the best thing a parent can do for the child is to lay beside them and just *be there*--nothing you do or say will make any difference. The child is usually impossible to wake up. It's hard, it is so, so, SO hard to listen to your baby in such terror and sadness and be unable to help. Can you tell that I've had some experience with these?
Having them nightly seems unusual and I would wonder if they were truly night terrors, or if they are nightmares. If they are nightmares and the child is waking up, then I would be wanting to know where she's getting these scary ideas (because she might be playing out the scary things she's dreaming)--does someone tell her scary stories? Does she watch prime time TV with her parents? Has she or someone she knew been badly injured at some point?
Them calling and talking with a child psychologist may not be a bad thing.
Country Kids 02:35 PM 12-20-2011
My biggest, biggest question would be why wouldn't she have them when she sleeps at your house?? Seems like with her playing like that and then sleeping at your house she would have the night terrors there also. Might be something else to look into. Do you not have them while napping or just a night sleep thing?
permanentvacation 02:50 PM 12-20-2011
She does take naps here - often enough she falls asleep in the morning - when it's play time and/or educational time - because she doesn't sleep well at night. And every day, she is the BEST sleeper for afternoon naptime. She has - maybe 3-5 times if that many times - over the past aproximately 2 1/2 years that she's been here cried/fussed in her sleep. I have always just told her to hush and go to sleep. She simply immediately stopped fussing and went back to sleep.
It hadn't occured to me that if she has night terrors or nightmares so often at home, why doesn't she have them here? My first thought about this when I read your post was that she only sleeps a short time here, but it would seem that since she does get into a really good sleep - I honstly have to work at waking her up most of the time- it would make sense that she should at least on occassion have nightmares/night terrors here. But she never has.
It hadn't occured to me that if she has night terrors or nightmares so often at home, why doesn't she have them here? My first thought about this when I read your post was that she only sleeps a short time here, but it would seem that since she does get into a really good sleep - I honstly have to work at waking her up most of the time- it would make sense that she should at least on occassion have nightmares/night terrors here. But she never has.
permanentvacation 02:53 PM 12-20-2011
She has also stayed the night here a few nights - I'm licensed for 24/7 care and they have had me watch her overnight a few times for them to go out on late night dates. She didn't have any problems sleeping any of those nights either.
But I know she does not get enough sleep at home. Because she's exhausted almost every morning here and sleeps HARD every afternoon at naptime.
But I know she does not get enough sleep at home. Because she's exhausted almost every morning here and sleeps HARD every afternoon at naptime.
kidkair 03:08 PM 12-20-2011
One thing that must be clarified is that nightmares and night terrors are two completely different things. Nightmares are bad dreams and occur during REM/natural dream time. Nightmares can be brought on by things she's been exposed to even briefly such as bad news or stress of parents. Night terrors however occur during stage 4 sleep which is the deepest sleep you get. This is also when sleep walking occurs and it is near impossible to wake someone. Night terrors is something kids usually out grow on their own just like sleep walking. Fussing in her sleep and responding to your voice indicates that it's probably nightmares she's suffering from because the brain is able to respond to outside stimuli in REM but not in stage 4 sleep.
Since she's had them for about a year it may take outside help to figure out the starting point. Maybe she got lost at a store while out with her parents or saw a kid being dragged out the door having a tantrum by dad while mom continued shopping. She probably didn't understand what she saw and most likely couldn't get mom/dad to explain it to her at the time. I'd play with her and help the scenes become more explained and have good endings. I'd guess she's not having them at your house because whatever she saw didn't happen with you. That and during naps we generally have shorter REM/dreams than we do after a few hours of sleep.
Since she's had them for about a year it may take outside help to figure out the starting point. Maybe she got lost at a store while out with her parents or saw a kid being dragged out the door having a tantrum by dad while mom continued shopping. She probably didn't understand what she saw and most likely couldn't get mom/dad to explain it to her at the time. I'd play with her and help the scenes become more explained and have good endings. I'd guess she's not having them at your house because whatever she saw didn't happen with you. That and during naps we generally have shorter REM/dreams than we do after a few hours of sleep.
Michael 03:10 PM 12-20-2011
A similar thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33457
Oneluckymom 05:06 PM 12-20-2011
My own son had them from 2-4. He just had to wake on his own and I would just "be there" like someone else mentioned earlier. Not much more than that you can really do except make sure they are safe and cannot injure themselves.
He would eventually come out of it and go back to sleep. I was always tired however
He would eventually come out of it and go back to sleep. I was always tired however
permanentvacation 05:19 PM 12-20-2011
Is it normal to have night terrors or nightmares nightly or are they usually sporatic?
permanentvacation 05:23 PM 12-20-2011
I just talked more with her mom and it sounds like the little girl is having a nightmare in her room then going to mom's bed to sleep and having a night terror there.
Mom said that early morning between 3 and 5 am, the little girl comes into the parents room on her own and asks to sleep in their room. Mom believes that she is awake at that time from a bad dream. Then about 1 1/2 to 2 hours later the little girl screams in her sleep, kicks all around, but won't wake up or respond to her parents trying to wake her up and telling her to calm down and that she's alright.
Mom said that she never has any type of bad dream when she takes a nap at home during the day. She only has these dreams at night.
Mom said that early morning between 3 and 5 am, the little girl comes into the parents room on her own and asks to sleep in their room. Mom believes that she is awake at that time from a bad dream. Then about 1 1/2 to 2 hours later the little girl screams in her sleep, kicks all around, but won't wake up or respond to her parents trying to wake her up and telling her to calm down and that she's alright.
Mom said that she never has any type of bad dream when she takes a nap at home during the day. She only has these dreams at night.
Oneluckymom 05:37 PM 12-20-2011
Yes, they can happen often or be sporadic. It makes sense she would have the night terrors later since she is probably more comfortable and able to go into a deeper sleep in her parents room.
My sons night terrors also would occur at the early morning hours. She will most likely just have to out grow them, but she can consult with a professional for more advice.
My sons night terrors also would occur at the early morning hours. She will most likely just have to out grow them, but she can consult with a professional for more advice.
permanentvacation 06:22 PM 12-20-2011
Thank you all for helping me with this. I have been doing more researching on the internet and mom and I are going to try a few things. I have already decided that because of my daycare kids ages, and interest in learning, I am going to extend the learning time during daycare. That will take away a bit of the free play time - which is when the little girl plays negatively so she won't have as long of time to play in that manner. Of course they need free play time, so they will have it, it will just be a bit shorter. When she is playing, if she starts the negative play, I will try different tactics to try to figure out why she does it. One way will be to ask her who she thinks took her child, what happened to hurt the person who she says is hurt, etc. Which will lead to other questions and interaction and possibly figure out where she's getting these thoughts from.
Mom is going to monitor her daughter to make sure that she is not actually watching/hearing mom's drama/action type television shows after she thinks the little girl is in bed. Mom is going to try to find out if there's a certain time the little girl wakes up with the nightmares and then start waking the girl up about 15 minutes before she typically has them. If she can do this, according to a few websites, after a couple of weeks, she should be able to break the cycle of the nightmares. Mom is going to pay more attention to the girl's play at home and see if and how often she is playing negatively at home and try to get her to not play that way.
So, maybe we can figure things out and help her not have these bad dreams so often.
Then again, a couple of websites said that they can be genetic and mom said that 2 of her either nieces or cousins - I forget which she said- have night terrors almost nightly. However, she doesn't keep in touch with those family members, so she doesn't know if or when they grew out of it. So, maybe it's just a genetic thing for her family.
Who knows, but at least we are going to try to get her from having these bad dreams.
Thanks everyone.
Mom is going to monitor her daughter to make sure that she is not actually watching/hearing mom's drama/action type television shows after she thinks the little girl is in bed. Mom is going to try to find out if there's a certain time the little girl wakes up with the nightmares and then start waking the girl up about 15 minutes before she typically has them. If she can do this, according to a few websites, after a couple of weeks, she should be able to break the cycle of the nightmares. Mom is going to pay more attention to the girl's play at home and see if and how often she is playing negatively at home and try to get her to not play that way.
So, maybe we can figure things out and help her not have these bad dreams so often.
Then again, a couple of websites said that they can be genetic and mom said that 2 of her either nieces or cousins - I forget which she said- have night terrors almost nightly. However, she doesn't keep in touch with those family members, so she doesn't know if or when they grew out of it. So, maybe it's just a genetic thing for her family.
Who knows, but at least we are going to try to get her from having these bad dreams.
Thanks everyone.
sharlan 08:55 PM 12-20-2011
A gf's son used to have night terrors. I believe he was 9 or 10 when he outgrew them. He would kick and scream for about 30 mins or so before calming down. He would never remember the episode in the morning. Dad would get him up, take him to the bathroom, get him a drink, and then lay back down with him until he calmed. I remember that Dad even got a black eye one night from the child's thrashing.