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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is He Delayed? How To I Inspire Progress?
littlemissmuffet 07:46 AM 01-09-2012
Hi ladies, I need some advice.

I have a 16 month old DCK who in my opinion is very delayed. He started with me at 10 months. At this time he was not sitting up, not crawling, couldn’t roll over from his tummy to his back, was not eating on his own and basically just sat in one spot until I moved him to another spot. Within a few weeks I taught him to sit up on his own and within a month I had him self-feeding with his hands.

This boy is now 16 months, as I said. He still doesn’t know how to crawl. About a month ago he started to bum-scoot and this is his only form of mobility. That’s fine, and a HUGE improvement from the complete lack of progress in every other area. He can barely pull himself up on to furniture and he cannot stand on his own. When I try walking with him or getting him to stand he will usually scream and just crumple up and fall on his bum. He babbles but has shown no signs of using simple words. He cannot hold a crayon. He has also recently stopped feeding himself again and wants to be spoon-fed.

He didn’t start getting teeth in until 12 months and was still being given jarred baby food at home.

I know that mom and dad are still spoon feeding at home, dad has readily admitted to this. Mom has a tendency to be dishonest about this boy’s progress at home, which is obvious when I’m talking to dad and simply being with this child 8+ hours per day.

I mentioned to mom in the past that I want to see him preogressing more in certain areas, and she started crying. I don’t want to offend her further, but quite honestly I have seen almost NO progress in this child’s gross motor skills and in general. I have never met a 16 month old who was seemingly so far behind.

Mom also thinks it's amazing when this boy eats a whole chicken finger for supper or 3 tablespoons of yogurt! He is 16 months. I know the majority of foods he is given at home are not healthy or nutritious - but thinking eating such a small amount of food each meal is normal is outrageous! He eats well here (ex. 1/2 slice toast w/ pb, 1/4 yogurt, 1/4 berries and 1/4 veggie and ham ommlette for breakfast, etc).

This mom doesn't seem to know where her child "should" be in his physical or mental growth. Her and dad both seem like very lazy parents and just chalk up the boy's lack of progress to his own laziness...

He is generally a good child, but it’s difficult when he is so far behind all the other children… he screams and cries during craft time, he screams and cries during outdoor time, he scream and cries during nap time (used to be a great sleeper, but about 2 months ago became very hit and miss with naps). He doesn’t participate in anything and he’s seemingly not willing to learn.

Any advice would be appreciated
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bunnyslippers 07:55 AM 01-09-2012
Does he have any verbal communication yet? Will he use sign language? Does he let his wants/needs be known through pointing or gesturing?

His motor skills do sound delayed. If he is held most of the time at home, it could lead to delays in motor development.

If he has not made progress by 18 months, I would suggest a recommendation of an early intervention evaluation. 18 months is typically when those services are recommended if development seems delayed.
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littlemissmuffet 08:59 AM 01-09-2012
Thanks for the reply, bunny.

I considered sign language, however, he does not communicate his wants and needs in any way. He just cries... he only points when his picture is being taken, he points at the camera. When he was not yet bum scooting, he would cry when he couldn't reach a toy... he wouldn't point to it though and let you know that's the particular item he wanted.

He continues to not show any signs of communcating in ANY way.

He is carried everywhere at home, but most of my babies are. They learn quickly that I don't carry and I encourage and give plenty of oppurtunities to teach walking... this child is diffrent though, he will not even try.

I think just before his 18 month birthday I will sit down and have a meeting with mom and dad if these bbehaviours (or lackthereof persist). I am at a complete loss.
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countrymom 09:09 AM 01-09-2012
by that age he should be walking, I think its time to find a sheet that has the milestones this child should be at and present it to the parents. No one wants to hear that something is wrong, but if something is, dont you think you would want to fix it when they are young.
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Ariana 09:11 AM 01-09-2012
I could be completely wrong here but they're obviously not taking him to a DR. I think a ped would be very concerned at this point wouldn't they? I also have a feeling like he's stuck in a playpen at home all day or something. Since he made progress while with you it means he CAN learn it just needs to be consistant.

I would find out what interventions are available in your area and have the pamphlets ready to go when you meet wit mom and dad. Perhaps give them a stipulation that you want them to see a professional before you go further with this boys care. I have no issues taking care of children with special needs but only if the parents are getting the help the child needs and are not in denial about it.
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cheerfuldom 09:42 AM 01-09-2012
I would wait it out till 18 months and insist on some form of communication that shows he was taken. You can get written permission to talk to his doctor directly regarding what you are seeing at daycare. I know some providers just don't say anything unless there is obvious abuse but I am not like that. At a certain point, you have to speak up and if the parents get mad, oh well. I had this same situation with an 18 month old that was still not standing unassisted. Her mom finally got her evaluated and she is progressing slowly with the help of therapists. Her mom was going to do nothing but thankfully, with some prodding, has gotten her daughter help and did not leave over this.
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SilverSabre25 09:45 AM 01-09-2012
This might help you...www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/child-developmental-checklist.html and his parents.

here's another one...this one is nice because you might be able to show parents just HOW delayed he is. http://thechp.syr.edu/Developmental_checklist.pdf
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littlemissmuffet 10:19 AM 01-09-2012
Thanks, ladies.

countrymom, I have known littles who weren't walking at this age, but progressing in other areas and on target with their other milestones... in this case, however, I feel this boy is delayed in ALL areas.

I have spoken to mom and dad about this prior - the last time was a serious conversation stating my concerns and mom started crying. She is the kind of mom who just kind of shrugs everything off... "oh, well some kid don't walk until 18 months". Always excuses. I don't know if she's in denial or just clueless.
I think having a meeting with both mom and dad (dad seems to be more honest, less in denial) it will help. If I just spoke with mom, I don't think she would accept what I was telling her or bring him to a ped to get a physicians opinion.


Ariana, they're ped seems to be living in the dark ages. He didn't want them giving him meat (even pureed) until after 12 months. When I asked, the answer was "because he doesn't have teeth"... you don't need teeth for puree.
Also, I think mom lies when asked the milestone questions...she lies to me, so I wouldn't be suprised she'd lie to the doc.

I really don't think he's in a playpen all day. I just am certain that the parents do not at all encourage mobility. It was at 13 months when he still was just sitting like a lump wherever you placed him that she decided she'd stop bringing him toys and make him go get them!!!!! He still didn't start bum-scooting until recently though.

I will have some information available to the parents when we have our meeting, thanks!


cheerfuldom, I am going to wait until just before 18 months. At that point he'll have been here for half a year and have had plenty of time to start meeting his developmental milestones.
I am also one of those providers who speak up, for the sake of the child. It's just that I have said things in the past and mom's only showed upset like I was picking on her boy, even after explaining that I only want what's best for child. I think she is in denial - and that doesn't help because she won't do anything to correct the situation if she won't even admit to it. Like I said, I think having dad present will help.

I am glad you were able to help you 18 mo dcg


Silver, thanks a bunch. I have those saved in my faves already to print and send home in a file after our meeting.

I am nervous about this whole thing, but I need to do right by this kid... I just hope his parents will too!

Thanks for the support, ladies!
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countrymom 10:57 AM 01-09-2012
I will guarentee it, that he was one of those kids that was always shoved to bed, or sat in a bouncy seat all day and there would be no intereaction with this child. I know people like this, my back up lady has a child (my sisters, bil child) she was like this, she is now 3 and all she does is walk around like in outer space, but my sis says that no one ever pays attention to her, they never talk with her, its a sad home situation. Do they care, nope! the other 3 children are all slow too, so its no big surprise that the last child is slow too. some parents just don't realize the harm they can do their children.
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Heidi 11:09 AM 01-09-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
This might help you...www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/child-developmental-checklist.html and his parents.

here's another one...this one is nice because you might be able to show parents just HOW delayed he is. http://thechp.syr.edu/Developmental_checklist.pdf
Thanks so much for sharing the developmental checklist! I have been looking for a good one for the children's portfolios!
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kidkair 11:27 AM 01-09-2012
I had a kid who was delayed in moving, not as bad as yours but behind. I rolled up a towel and had her rest on that during play time. It helped her gain the muscles needed to get up on her hands and knees. It also let her see more than just tummy time did so it encouraged her to move a bit more. I had her on the towel or across my leg for a few hours a day for about a week before she started getting up on her hands and knees and it took a few weeks before she really started crawling. I also used the same technique with a child who had Downs Syndrome. I would defiantly make sure that you are getting him to reach the next check point on those lists because skipping steps can cause problems later on.
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