Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Anyone Have Experience With Preemies
morgan24 07:33 AM 11-13-2013
I have a 15 month old who was born 6 weeks early. He still has a bottle at home and refuses a sippy cup. I don't use a bottle here and offer him a sippy cup that he won't drink out of, so I give him drinks out of a regular cup which he is fine with. DCM doesn't want him off the bottle because she says he's a preemie and needs it. Her doctor told her he needed to be off it too. I told her right up front that I didn't agree and don't give him a bottle. I think she gives him a bottle because she doesn't want to listen to him scream and that is what he does. When I am feeding the baby sometimes he screams when he notices the bottle. Do you think that it's mean that I won't give him a bottle. Plus he drinks 8 ozs on the way here and 8 on the way home and 8 before he goes to bed. I think that is a lot of milk.
Reply
CedarCreek 07:35 AM 11-13-2013
If the dr told her he needs to get off of it, that's what I would go with too.

Has she considered that since he was a preemie he might need some therapies? He might be able to get him some help if he is having oral aversions.
Reply
morgan24 08:04 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
If the dr told her he needs to get off of it, that's what I would go with too.

Has she considered that since he was a preemie he might need some therapies? He might be able to get him some help if he is having oral aversions.
I think your right about the oral aversions. The roof of his mouth is almost u shaped and I don't think that he gets anything out of a sippy cup and he gets frustrated and throws it, that's why I give him milk in a regular cup and he drinks okay. I'll suggest for her to bring it up to the doctor. I think she uses the bottle whenever he cries.
Reply
cara041083 08:25 AM 11-13-2013
Don't feel bad. I don't allow bottles here eaither. They have a cup on the drink table in a sippy cup! If he gets thirsty, he will drink it or its nothing at all.Same with food, if they get hungry enough they will eat it. I had a kid that was 14 month at the time, and mom gave him so many bottles a day that he would't even eat food. It got to a point where when he got here it went in the fridge, and didn't come back out again until mom picked him up because I was done dealing with it. The kids is now over 2 and STILL on a bottle at home. Some parents are just lazy and don't want to deal with it.
I promise that after a few days, as long as its constant, he will get used to it at your house. But I'm the provider that is loving, and caring, but I don't bend for any child. Not even my own so my approach may be harsh but it works for me. Good luck
Reply
Willow 08:29 AM 11-13-2013
Being born at 34 weeks isn't really all that premature considering that 36 weeks is considered early but term.

By 15 months of age his abilities based on his "corrected age" should have more than caught up with the rest of his peers.

If his doctor says there is no reason for a bottle then there really isn't, and moms behavior is based either on her own lack of initiative or her own desire to coddle him.

You are correct that that much milk is not only unnecessary, but could very well be detrimental to his overall health.

I'd print of literature detailing how much milk is approprite at his age (1/2C at breakfast lunch and dinner) as well as make it clear that she needs to get on board with consistently using a cup if thats what you plan to do there. Be kind, but firm that you will not participate in any practice that is detrimental to his health or development.
Reply
Willow 08:34 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by morgan24:
I think your right about the oral aversions. The roof of his mouth is almost u shaped and I don't think that he gets anything out of a sippy cup and he gets frustrated and throws it, that's why I give him milk in a regular cup and he drinks okay. I'll suggest for her to bring it up to the doctor. I think she uses the bottle whenever he cries.
The shape of the roof of his mouth is fine. If he can suck from a bottle he can suck from a sippy. It would make no sense for him to have ability with one and not the other.

He has obviously learned that when he pitches the sippy he gets attention either by someone fetching him a bottle or sitting beside him with a regular cup.

If he's learned to manipulate beyond the point of turning things around check into getting him a "Reflow" cup. It taoers flow like a sippy but acts as a cup.

I would absolutely require he drink on his own in any event. Thats just ridiculous that you have to aid him through each and every sip.....
Reply
littlemissmuffet 08:46 AM 11-13-2013
Being born 6 weeks early isn't really considered premature... anything after 37 weeks is pretty much considered full term. The kiddos that would come at 33-37 weeks into the NICU, unless they were born with brain bleeds or other severe medical issues were usually released within a week.

My daughter was born almost 15 weeks early. She was on special preemie formula until 8 1/2 months and now at 10 months is on solids and regular formula. She drinks water from a sippy/regular cup on occasion, and we plan to start weaning her off her formula between 12-15 months. If she was full term, we'd have it done for sure by 12 months, but because at 12 months she will really only technically be 9 months we want to ensure she's still getting the nutrition she needs for growth and brain development. Keep in mind she was born at 2lbs 4oz and dropped down to 1lb 5oz during her first few weeks of life - we almost lost her. Now, she's about 20lbs. We work very close with a preemie nutritionist.

My daughter was VERY sick for her first three months of life and we were told to at the very least expect severe delays for the first few years. She's 10 months now - sitting up, crawling, pulling herself to standing position, beginning to walk around furniture, saying "dada" for her dad, drinking from a cup, stacks large lego blocks, etc. She's a bright little girl and we don't anticipate any delays...
We don't treat her like a preemie though - we treat her like an individual and encourage her to be independent... unfortunately a lot of preemie parents keep their kids in a bubble and use the child's prematurity as an excuse, and perhaps this is what's happening here.

What was this child's weight at birth?
Reply
CedarCreek 08:59 AM 11-13-2013
Oh, I did not catch that he was a 34 weeker. That doesn't mean he cant have oral aversions but it makes it a lot less likely.

My own DS was 33 weeks and he transitioned fine.

My oldest was A 23 Weeker and he did have problems. But, the difference between 23 and 34 weeks is huge.
Reply
Cradle2crayons 09:03 AM 11-13-2013
Willow is spot on.

At his age he should be more than corrected to the norm.

I would NOT give him a bottle, and I would recommend to mom to do the same to make adjustment easier.

If she would stick with it, in a week, he'd be fine.

You have every right to do what you know (and he dr said) is correct and put the issue back on mom.
Reply
morgan24 09:31 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
The shape of the roof of his mouth is fine. If he can suck from a bottle he can suck from a sippy. It would make no sense for him to have ability with one and not the other.

He has obviously learned that when he pitches the sippy he gets attention either by someone fetching him a bottle or sitting beside him with a regular cup.

If he's learned to manipulate beyond the point of turning things around check into getting him a "Reflow" cup. It taoers flow like a sippy but acts as a cup.

I would absolutely require he drink on his own in any event. Thats just ridiculous that you have to aid him through each and every sip.....
I think that dcm is lazy, she claims she is trying to get him off it. I provide the older sippy cup that doesn't have a plug in it, after he throws it twice I just take it and give him a couple of drinks out of the cup when he's done eating. I am far to busy to sit next to him giving him drinks. When he is here he drinks maybe 4
ozs of milk or water. dcm always says that he's a preemie that's why he won't
use a sippy cup, with never having had a preemie before I thought maybe I am being to hard core about it. I move all of the to sippy cups at a year and a regular cup around 18 months. Thanks everyone I feel better about it.
Reply
Willow 09:55 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by morgan24:
I think that dcm is lazy, she claims she is trying to get him off it. I provide the older sippy cup that doesn't have a plug in it, after he throws it twice I just take it and give him a couple of drinks out of the cup when he's done eating. I am far to busy to sit next to him giving him drinks. When he is here he drinks maybe 4
ozs of milk or water. dcm always says that he's a preemie that's why he won't
use a sippy cup, with never having had a preemie before I thought maybe I am being to hard core about it. I move all of the to sippy cups at a year and a regular cup around 18 months. Thanks everyone I feel better about it.
Be consistent about your expectation, if he throws it once take it and thats the end of it...no getting it back, no alternative of you then giving him another option with a regular cup. He can wait until the next meal or snack to have another drink if he chooses to pitch what he has access to.

Call her on the fact that using a sippy is absolutely no different than using a bottle, and that his birth has nothing to do with his abilities now (emphasize that even his doctor has expressed that).

I would point blank tell her that you will not partake in holding him back. Thats not you being hard on her, that's you doing your job by advocating for his best interests!
Reply
craftymissbeth 10:04 AM 11-13-2013
My son was born at 34 weeks. I know all babies are different, but other than spending 2 weeks in the NICU and SCU he was beyond caught up as far as size goes by the time he was 3 months old. As far as any physiological he does have some behavioral issues, but those are directly related to my parenting techniques in the earlier years.

All that to say that mom needs to step up and let her child grow.
Reply
cheerfuldom 10:51 AM 11-13-2013
I would insist mom leave any bottles in her car. Do not bring to your day or try to sneak into daycare. You will be doing cups only, per her doctor's orders and you will not offer a bottle at all during daycare hours. Now he wont ever see a bottle at your house and get upset.
Reply
MotherNature 12:12 PM 11-13-2013
Preemies & preterm babies can & usually do lag behind, but I think 15 mos not taking a sippy is a bit odd as well, but not super weird. The kid's adjusted age could be around 13 mos, which I don't think is weird to still be transitioning to a sippy cup at all. The markers for full-term pregnancy were recently (last month) declared to be between 39-40.5 weeks. Anything before 37 weeks is now considered an early birth. My son was born at 35 weeks & has yet to catch up weight & height wise. At age 3, he's the size of a one year old, but we've many tests down to discover the cause & he's under the care of a geneticist, an endo, and our naturalist MD. Aside from being slightly lagged in gross motor, he's ahead of the game on everything else for both his actual & adjusted age. Maybe mom's lazy, but I'd work witht he parents to try & figure out what's going on. Since the kid takes a regular cup fine, maybe he's just having a hard time mastering the straw suck motion or confused by the spout.
Reply
dingledine 12:40 PM 11-13-2013
My daughter came 4 weeks early, and I watch a girl that came 6 weeks early. We all transitioned them normally to cups when it was time.
Reply
littlemissmuffet 07:52 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by MotherNature:
Preemies & preterm babies can & usually do lag behind, but I think 15 mos not taking a sippy is a bit odd as well, but not super weird. The kid's adjusted age could be around 13 mos, which I don't think is weird to still be transitioning to a sippy cup at all. The markers for full-term pregnancy were recently (last month) declared to be between 39-40.5 weeks. Anything before 37 weeks is now considered an early birth. My son was born at 35 weeks & has yet to catch up weight & height wise. At age 3, he's the size of a one year old, but we've many tests down to discover the cause & he's under the care of a geneticist, an endo, and our naturalist MD. Aside from being slightly lagged in gross motor, he's ahead of the game on everything else for both his actual & adjusted age. Maybe mom's lazy, but I'd work witht he parents to try & figure out what's going on. Since the kid takes a regular cup fine, maybe he's just having a hard time mastering the straw suck motion or confused by the spout.
Though this is true, the primary reason for the change was to deter the increase of unnecessary elective c-sections that patients are requesting and doctors are approving. I know of many medical professionals who specialize in pre-term birth who very much disagree with this change.

The OP didn't mention any delays or growth issues - so I feel like this mom is just using the child's prematurity as an excuse. The child can drink from a cup - he's obviously not delayed. You could be right that he may be confused by the sippy cup spout - but again, that has nothing to do with prematurity.

OP, the topic of how much milk a toddler needs is completely dependent on the child and the doctor. Many peds will tell a mother of a healthy full-term child that a child over 12 months doesn't need more than 8oz of milk a day as long as they are eating solids regularily; some will say 16oz is necessary, others still will recommend 24oz or more. So though, I know that 24oz of milk seems too much (and in my opinion absolutely is if this child is eating solids and other dairy products) the mom may have been recommended this particular amount by the child's doc or nutritionist.

I still believe the mother is either being lazy and using the child's prematurity as an excuse for not training the child on a sippy - but to be honest, many of my 12 month old children who start here are still on bottles at home and sometimes are still given bottles up until age 2!! I personally don't care what the parents do at home, but I don't allow bottles here at all, so I train the child to use a sippy here. They will usually refuse them the first two days but learn very quickly that if they don't take it they simply go without - and do learn to take it (never had a kid not). Don't offer him bottles, and unless you're ready to let him have a cup unsupervised stop offering that as well. Only offer a sippy and see what happens over the next few days (make sure he's eating plenty of foods that contain liquid in the meantime).
Reply
childcaremom 05:54 AM 11-14-2013
Op, does this mom want her child on the bottle for the sucking, or for the nutrition? If it's for the nutrition, he is still able to get it from a cup as easily as he can from the bottle. I would just gently point out that he will drink from a cup for you so that is what you are going to do while he is in your care.

Unless it's the cup you have an issue with and want him on a sippy? I know even with some of my dcks (who are all full term), some dcks find certain cups easier than others to drink from so I have a variety to try with them.

My daughter was a prem and I know that she had some issues with certain bottles but we were able to resolve those with a therapist.

Good luck!
Reply
morgan24 06:20 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
Op, does this mom want her child on the bottle for the sucking, or for the nutrition? If it's for the nutrition, he is still able to get it from a cup as easily as he can from the bottle. I would just gently point out that he will drink from a cup for you so that is what you are going to do while he is in your care.

Unless it's the cup you have an issue with and want him on a sippy? I know even with some of my dcks (who are all full term), some dcks find certain cups easier than others to drink from so I have a variety to try with them.

My daughter was a prem and I know that she had some issues with certain bottles but we were able to resolve those with a therapist.

Good luck!
He doesn't need it for nutrition, he eats a good breakfast and lunch for me and he likes everything. I think he hates the sippy cup here because they use a bottle at home. Yesterday I gave him the sippy cup and when he threw it on the floor I just took it. He did take a few drinks of it so I know he can drink for one, just doesn't like it. I give him a few drinks out of a cup when he is done eating. I stopped the bottle when he was 13 months which was close to his due date. I know she uses the bottle as a pacifer, any time he cries at home he gets a bottle.

I take everyone off the bottle at one, dcps all know that when they start. I don't care what they do at home. Now that I have gotten so much information about preemies I'm seeing that DCM uses the preemie excuse for everything, that's why he can't use the sippy cup, that's why he doesn't walk yet, that's why he doesn't sleep all night.
Reply
Tags:preemie
Reply Up