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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Teaching Kids To Respect Stuff But To Realize Stuff Is Just Stuff
Josiegirl 10:07 AM 08-19-2015
Couple weeks ago I put a spare twin bed in the playroom, with a pretty canopy draping over it, making a nice quiet reading corner out of it. Dcb came out to tell me he had accidentally ripped the canopy off the ceiling. He is a very physical rough kid but I didn't get angry. I just took a look at it, put it away(he also tore down a slat it was screwed into)and said I'd deal with it later.
The dcks all just looked at me and said 'wow, we thought you'd be really mad.' I simply said 'we always need to be respectful and careful of other people's things but it's just stuff.'
Maybe I'm mellowing out in my old age, see this as a good way to rid myself of stuff, or have come to realize what's important in life, as opposed to stuff.
The dcks all just looked at me and said 'wow, we thought you'd be really mad.' I simply said 'we always need to be respectful and careful of other people's things but it's just stuff.'
Maybe I'm mellowing out in my old age, see this as a good way to rid myself of stuff, or have come to realize what's important in life, as opposed to stuff.
daycarediva 10:14 AM 08-19-2015
Stuff isn't important, but respect of other peoples things is. I would have been upset, for sure. Dcb would not be allowed back on it after it was fixed and put back up if that happened here.
Blackcat31 10:25 AM 08-19-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Stuff isn't important, but respect of other peoples things is. I would have been upset, for sure. Dcb would not be allowed back on it after it was fixed and put back up if that happened here.
Stuff isn't important, but respect of other peoples things is. I would have been upset, for sure. Dcb would not be allowed back on it after it was fixed and put back up if that happened here.
I would have been mad. Mad because the DCB was not respectful and broke something that would not have been broke had he not been rough or played in a way that IS nice and respectful.
I would have clarified to the children that I can replace items and may not be upset about the fact that something is ruined but that does not mean I don't have a right to be upset about HOW it got ruined.
BIG difference and a VERY important lesson.
Unregistered 10:38 AM 08-19-2015
Was it an accident? Things do break by accident sometimes. If it was then no I would not have been mad. Actually, happy that he admitted that he did do this.
childcaremom 11:08 AM 08-19-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Was it an accident? Things do break by accident sometimes. If it was then no I would not have been mad. Actually, happy that he admitted that he did do this.
Was it an accident? Things do break by accident sometimes. If it was then no I would not have been mad. Actually, happy that he admitted that he did do this.
I think it shows that a level of trust that he told you that it did happen and took responsibility for it. I would still be upset that it happened and have consequences for it.
If it was due to rough play and not following rules, it would be fixed and he would not use it.
If it was an accident, I would thank him for telling me and get him to help fix it.
littletots 11:13 AM 08-19-2015
Oh, dear. I had dcm will "no big deal" attitude. It was crazy to hear her tell of her older kids hanging on garage door and ripped it off track. younger one pouring milk down air vent, running push car into the front grill of her fancy suv. I had her dcs in care 15m and was so glad when they moved.
Blackcat31 11:25 AM 08-19-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Was it an accident? Things do break by accident sometimes. If it was then no I would not have been mad. Actually, happy that he admitted that he did do this.
OP said "a nice quiet reading corner out of it" so I am wondering what a child could have been doing while reading quietly that would cause the canopy and the slate it was screwed into to break accidentally? Was it an accident? Things do break by accident sometimes. If it was then no I would not have been mad. Actually, happy that he admitted that he did do this.
I am not trying to be rude, I am genuinely curious as my perspective is different and I personally would not have approached this situation from an accident viewpoint.
Heidi 11:38 AM 08-19-2015
Originally Posted by littletots:
Oh, dear. I had dcm will "no big deal" attitude. It was crazy to hear her tell of her older kids hanging on garage door and ripped it off track. younger one pouring milk down air vent, running push car into the front grill of her fancy suv. I had her dcs in care 15m and was so glad when they moved.
One of my Bf's has a "what can I do about it?" attitude.Oh, dear. I had dcm will "no big deal" attitude. It was crazy to hear her tell of her older kids hanging on garage door and ripped it off track. younger one pouring milk down air vent, running push car into the front grill of her fancy suv. I had her dcs in care 15m and was so glad when they moved.
She wants nice things, and struggles financially, but she's never taught her children (who I adore, btw.) to take care of things. The house is a shambles, with stuff spilled on the sofa, blinds and curtains hanging half off, and a path through the mess. I LOVE my friend, but I know it's a problem. She's not a hoarder; just somewhat overwhelmed. It started early on when she had 3 kids in 4 years, but they're 14-17 now, and it's no better.
Needless to say, as much as we adore her and her children, not a lot of her friends want to spend a lot of time at her house.
We've all tried helping her clean it up "once and for all", but it just never stayed, so we just meet elsewhere when we get together.No, stuff isn't REALLY important, but I do think it's important to learn that you should care for what you have; even if you don't have a lot. It's part of appreciating your blessings, IMO.
Accidents do happen, but so does recklessness. I'd have talked it through with DCB. No, I'm not mad, and I'm glad you told me, but I am disappointed that you broke my canopy. I really liked it and was glad to share it with all of you so you have a cozy reading nook. Then, I'd ask him to do something to help me fix it. Glue it, repair it, sew it, or whatever. It may not be perfect, but he'd learn to at least try to make things right.
midaycare 11:50 AM 08-19-2015
I would have been mad but happy he told me. So I would have been mappy?
My own DS was playing with my iPad (which I approved) and he dropped it. It has an extremely sturdy case. Except he dropped it just right on a vent and the screen cracked. He told my mom and didn't tell me. Said he was scared. I don't know why. I was mad he didn't tell me, but fine with the crack. Accidents happen. Stuff is stuff. It can be replaced or not. But overall, stuff is not important.
But the dcb not respecting a toy. Eeks.
My own DS was playing with my iPad (which I approved) and he dropped it. It has an extremely sturdy case. Except he dropped it just right on a vent and the screen cracked. He told my mom and didn't tell me. Said he was scared. I don't know why. I was mad he didn't tell me, but fine with the crack. Accidents happen. Stuff is stuff. It can be replaced or not. But overall, stuff is not important.
But the dcb not respecting a toy. Eeks.
Unregistered 12:32 PM 08-19-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
OP said "a nice quiet reading corner out of it" so I am wondering what a child could have been doing while reading quietly that would cause the canopy and the slate it was screwed into to break accidentally?
I am not trying to be rude, I am genuinely curious as my perspective is different and I personally would not have approached this situation from an accident viewpoint.
OP said "a nice quiet reading corner out of it" so I am wondering what a child could have been doing while reading quietly that would cause the canopy and the slate it was screwed into to break accidentally?
I am not trying to be rude, I am genuinely curious as my perspective is different and I personally would not have approached this situation from an accident viewpoint.
She said the canopy was draping over it. In my mind the child could have easily sat down on one of the drapes that was taunt and 40 lbs of child could have pulled it right down. pr child could have gotten up and tripped over the drape and pulled it down. Things happen.
Blackcat31 12:35 PM 08-19-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
She said the canopy was draping over it. In my mind the child could have easily sat down on one of the drapes that was taunt and 40 lbs of child could have pulled it right down. pr child could have gotten up and tripped over the drape and pulled it down. Things happen.
She said the canopy was draping over it. In my mind the child could have easily sat down on one of the drapes that was taunt and 40 lbs of child could have pulled it right down. pr child could have gotten up and tripped over the drape and pulled it down. Things happen.
I agree, things definitely can happen. I've just never had an experience like that, thus the curiosity. I too have a reading nook with sheer drapes/canopy (and mine is only attached with long strips of Velcro) and I've never had anyone, including my toddlers who aren't always as graceful....lol!..... rip it down.
Thank you for responding
Josiegirl 04:21 PM 08-19-2015
I suspect greatly it was not just a matter of sitting on it incorrectly. I suspect he and another SA dck were horsing around, and he jumped on it. I have always stressed respect to these kids, respect others, respect yourself, and respect things.
But today, it just didn't seem to matter. I've been in a bummed mood all day for one of my sweetest dcfs ever, and stuff does not matter.
But today, it just didn't seem to matter. I've been in a bummed mood all day for one of my sweetest dcfs ever, and stuff does not matter.
Play Care 04:46 AM 08-20-2015
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I suspect greatly it was not just a matter of sitting on it incorrectly. I suspect he and another SA dck were horsing around, and he jumped on it. I have always stressed respect to these kids, respect others, respect yourself, and respect things.
But today, it just didn't seem to matter. I've been in a bummed mood all day for one of my sweetest dcfs ever, and stuff does not matter.
While I get what you're saying, I would be irritated. I suspect greatly it was not just a matter of sitting on it incorrectly. I suspect he and another SA dck were horsing around, and he jumped on it. I have always stressed respect to these kids, respect others, respect yourself, and respect things.
But today, it just didn't seem to matter. I've been in a bummed mood all day for one of my sweetest dcfs ever, and stuff does not matter.
I see all these wonderful set ups on Pinterest (and from some of you!
) and I would LOVE to recreate that in my space. But I can't.
My group (all boys) is pretty rough. And while I spend most of my day trying to teach awareness, it's not happening. I simply can't afford to throw money away. Most of the toys I have out are toddler toys, because of the breakage factor.
Hunni Bee 08:32 PM 08-20-2015
I teach my kids very early on that if we want nice things, we have to keep them nice. And that I am not willing to replace things that were lost/broken/destroyed because of wrong choices or carelessness.
I am right on top of them for a few weeks about it and sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much...
...then I started realizing that we had the same playdough in March that we started the year with in September because they wouldn't dream of leaving the lids off or mixing up the colors. That crayons would be used down to nubs before they would get broken. And if anything got broken, it was brought right to me and we'd figure out how to fix it together.
But I've also realized that SA's are a TON more careless and disregard the value of things than 5-and-under's. The SA's at my program are literally down to iPads, Legos and playground balls because those are the only things they can't or aren't willing to destroy or steal.
I am right on top of them for a few weeks about it and sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much...
...then I started realizing that we had the same playdough in March that we started the year with in September because they wouldn't dream of leaving the lids off or mixing up the colors. That crayons would be used down to nubs before they would get broken. And if anything got broken, it was brought right to me and we'd figure out how to fix it together.
But I've also realized that SA's are a TON more careless and disregard the value of things than 5-and-under's. The SA's at my program are literally down to iPads, Legos and playground balls because those are the only things they can't or aren't willing to destroy or steal.