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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Advice on Cancelling an Interview
NotInKansas 10:27 AM 01-16-2019
I have one spot open and the little cousin of one of my enrolled kids is scheduled to interview tomorrow. But I'm having reservations. I have a 1 yo, 2 twos (one of these is the cousin), and 2 that are 3 1/2 yo. The 3 1/2s are both turning four soon and will leave this summer to start Pre-K, and one of them has Global Developmental Delay with speech delays, functioning at least a year behind and requiring more attention than your average 3 1/2 year old.

The interviewee is also almost four, but the parents are thinking of foregoing Pre-K to keep him here next year.

After talking to P's mom (who is the cousin of this potential kid), I'm not very excited about him. She says he's EXTREMELY whiny, spoiled, and the parents think he hung the Moon and can do no wrong.

So, given that he'll be the only 4 year old here after summer (with everyone else being 2 or under), and given the discouraging information from P's mom, I'm thinking I really don't want this child here. Is that awful or logical?

After reading through some of the threads here, I can see that you guys usually advise to keep it short and sweet without many details as to your reasoning, but with already having a long-term, established relationship with P's mom, I feel like I can't just say "sorry, not taking him". I feel like I need to offer some sort of explanation, especially considering that I DO intend to fill the spot, but with a younger child closer to my group's ages.

So how can I gently tell her I won't be accepting him because of the future age gap with the kids and because I really feel like I will over-extend myself if I did take him?
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finsup 10:41 AM 01-16-2019
I would just say "dcm, I was going over next year's group and realizing I'm going to have a very young group. My curriculum is going to be taught to this level. Unfortunately that also means I will not be accepting children older then x age and will need to cancel our interview as dcb is already close to 4. Thank you for understanding and I'm sorry for any inconvenience. (then if you have/know of any) Here are a few other options for childcare that have openings for kiddos age.
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Ariana 11:16 AM 01-16-2019
Hi DCM,
Although we scheduled an interview I believe I was a bit hasty in my decision to possibly enroll your child. I looked over my numbers and curriculum plans for next year and unfortunately I do not think DCB will be a good fit. I apologize for my oversight and I hope you understand my dilemms. I really do not want to bite off more than I can chew with the differing ages.
I appreciate your understanding,
NotInKansas
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Blackcat31 11:17 AM 01-16-2019
How or what you say to decline the child is up to you, but are you really willing to pass based on what another parent says? Related or not.

Personally, I would use my two week trial period to see if the child is different for you than described by P's mom.

Ask any of my DCM's what their child is like and 9 out of 10 of them will describe a child I've never had in care....

Kids are always different for others and depending on the environment, a hard or difficult child can be a easy going or a dream child for others

If at any time during the trial period you decide that the child is not a good fit for you or your program, you can term with that as a reason then.

Just a suggestion...
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jenboo 12:03 PM 01-16-2019
Ive had cousins enrolled before. Cousin 1 enrolled first. Then I set up a tour with cousin 2.
Mom of cousin 1 told mine all about cousin 2s issues and problems. I still interviewed and enrolled. I never had a single problem or saw any of the issues mentioned.

I wouldn't trust another person's comments
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NotInKansas 01:35 PM 01-16-2019
You guys are correct about P's mom likely being biased, but that still doesn't change the big age gap that I'll have, so I think I'll still go with cancelling. Thank you all for your suggestions!
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NotInKansas 01:51 PM 01-16-2019
This is what I went with:
I've been looking over my numbers and I think I may have jumped the gun in setting up an interview with you guys. 🙄 My age group will all be 2 and under after May, which means my curriculum will be geared toward that age group. With that in mind, I don't think it's wise of me to enroll your son here because he would be so much older than everyone else, and that wouldn't serve his best interests. I'm sorry... I should've thought of this sooner. I hope this doesn't cause any inconvenience. If you are looking for a home daycare environment, I know of another licensed home that may have kids more his age. I'd be happy to get that info for you.
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knoxmomof2 12:22 PM 01-17-2019
I agree with your decision for 2 reasons. First, being much older than the other kids. Although it is nice to have an older child that has better self help skills (and can lend a hand occasionally.. Lol), the age gap makes it no fun for anyone. I find my 4 year olds get bored, then all kinds of lovely new behavioral issues come up (tattling, bossiness, anticipating what toy a younger child is going for and jumping up to grab it first, etc..)

Also, maybe it's just me because I only keep under 5, but 4 year olds are hard to transition in and behavioral issues are harder to curb at that age. It's just not worth it for only 1 year. I won't take a new child over 3. I've done it twice and regretted it both times.
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Rockgirl 03:06 PM 01-17-2019
Originally Posted by NotInKansas:
This is what I went with:
I've been looking over my numbers and I think I may have jumped the gun in setting up an interview with you guys. 🙄 My age group will all be 2 and under after May, which means my curriculum will be geared toward that age group. With that in mind, I don't think it's wise of me to enroll your son here because he would be so much older than everyone else, and that wouldn't serve his best interests. I'm sorry... I should've thought of this sooner. I hope this doesn't cause any inconvenience. If you are looking for a home daycare environment, I know of another licensed home that may have kids more his age. I'd be happy to get that info for you.
Sounds perfect. Did they respond?
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