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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Long Does It Take For A 14 Mo. Old To Transition To A New Center?
Mariehouse 07:10 AM 09-29-2011
I started caring for a 14 month old little girl 2 weeks ago. She just cries and cries until I pick her up! She's only interested in toys & activities for a min...or less, and then starts crying again. She cries thru naptime unless she's sleeping in my arms! She is soooo clingy! I care for 2 others children (both are 3 years old) at the same time & I feel they are starting to be affected by all this. I'm guessing the 14 mo old is constantly held at home, and thats what she's used to. I cant even go to the bathroom without her wanting to be right in there with me & wants me to pick her up! I got a migraine during one of her crying bouts on her third day, and have had constant headaches since! Things dont usually stress me out very easy...I'm thinking I need to term her. I feel bad for the little girl, as well as the other children I care for. I have been updating the girl's parents on how the days are going, and her father stated their previous daycare (a larger center) said she would cry and just want to be held there too! Things cant continue like this! Any suggestions? What should I give parents for suggestions if I do terminate? obviously her future provider will need to hold her all day... Please help!!
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nannyde 09:02 AM 09-29-2011
It sounds like she needs her own adult. I would just tell the parents that she needs an adult just for her. Since you have other children, your home isn't good for her.

At her age she should be bopping around your house and not paying attention to what you are doing. She isn't able to do that so they need to find her care where she can have what she wants or stay home with her so they can give her what she wants.
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mismatchedsocks 09:10 AM 09-29-2011
If she is used to being held all the time, it will take a while to "wean" her of this and let her know you will not pick her up all the time when she cries. I have had a few kids this age like this, I suggest a few things.

First, stop picking her up JUST to stop her from crying. Go play with the other kids, if she is by you do not put her in your lap, just NEXT to you. Also you can sit with your foot near her...or your hand on her back during story time. Slowly try to move back further and further each time when she gets into playing.

She is young enough to "train" and learn what will happen at your house. If she sees you pick her up when she cries too long then she will continue. Be firm and consistant. As far as the sleeping, is she on cot or play pen? I would wrap her up tight, then touch her back, put on some white noise and leave the room. Let her CIO for a while. She will learn, she is young enough.

BUT...

DO not just pick her up or hold her until she sleeps just to get quiet. If this doesnt help or is not something you can do I would terminate to keep your sanity. This is why I like babies starting out at birth here, much easier! Good luck!
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Mariehouse 09:15 AM 09-29-2011
Thank you for your response Nannyde! I think what you said is a great idea. I think thats what I need to tell the parents that a solo provider would be best for their little girl. Now I need to get the backbone I need to be able to write out a termination letter and inform parents that things arent working out.
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Mariehouse 09:55 AM 09-29-2011
Thank you for your suggestions Amber! I have not picked this child up just because she wants to be held...and I will NOT give into her crying just because that is what she wants. I did give her a little extra attention on her first day, but only enough for her to know that I was there. At naptimes since day 1, I get the other children settled for their naps and then I inform the little girl that its naptime, take her to different bedroom which is at the other end of my home. I give her a little kiss on her head and lay her down in the pack and play (she starts screaming at this time of course), I talk to her softly and tell her again its naptime while gently brushing her forehead, and then I close the door slightly and sit in the livingroom, which is located in the middle of my home...and try to ignore the screams (doesnt work of course). I never take her out of the pack n play earlier than 30 minutes later (except when she had a dirty #2 diaper). I even kept her in there while she screamed for 40 minutes! At that time I take her out of the pack and play and try to play with her. She'll play on the floor while I'm sitting on the floor near her, for a minute or so, but then the crying starts again because she jyust wants to be held! I am going to try and write up a term letter right now, because I cant take her whining anymore!
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