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CeriBear 06:41 AM 04-07-2019
How do you handle it? I’m not talking about words like poopy or poopy head or even butt. I’m talking about a child who says things like s**t, a**hole, and even the f word in front of me and the other children. I have tried taking this child aside and talking to him about using kind words and how these words are not appropriate.
springv 07:53 AM 04-07-2019
Have a chat with mom. Wonder if he has heard someone say those and think it's normal or if an older sibling has said that
racemom 01:46 PM 04-07-2019
I usually act shocked and say in a stern voice, We do not talk like that!
Blackcat31 03:31 PM 04-07-2019
How old?
Have you discussed with parent(s)?
If so, what is their reaction?
Have you discussed with parent(s)?
If so, what is their reaction?
CeriBear 04:47 PM 04-07-2019
He’s 4. I’ve talked to his parents and they are aware of the problem. He does the same thing at home and he is being disciplined for using these words. This child has an 8yo sibling who is likely picking up these words from the playground at school and is telling them to his brother.
Blackcat31 06:33 AM 04-08-2019
Originally Posted by CeridwenLynne:
He’s 4. I’ve talked to his parents and they are aware of the problem. He does the same thing at home and he is being disciplined for using these words. This child has an 8yo sibling who is likely picking up these words from the playground at school and is telling them to his brother.
Apparently the punishment doesn't fit the crime as he is repeatedly using profanity so the parents need to take a different approach. He’s 4. I’ve talked to his parents and they are aware of the problem. He does the same thing at home and he is being disciplined for using these words. This child has an 8yo sibling who is likely picking up these words from the playground at school and is telling them to his brother.
As for where he got it, the parents excuse of him having an older brother, the playground at school etc...is a cop out and just an easy way to blame someone else.
If the parents had a strict rule (and enforced it) about use of profanity this wouldn't be an issue. Kids see and hear things that aren't acceptable every day.....it doesn't automatically mean they're off the hook for copying the behavior or participating....kwim?
My kids growing up, heard all kinds of words that I would be embarrassed to type but both my kids knew from the get go that those words and type of language were unacceptable and if I had ever heard them use them, they'd be in big trouble.
A child willing to use this type of language somewhere else (where kids are usually better for others vs parents) tells me alot about the parents consequence for this behavior.
.....and repeated?!?! Yeah, the first time he uses a cuss word in care today I'd send him home immediately.
The next time I'd send him home and have a suspension period (such as remainder of the week) and the third time, I'd terminate services.
Profanity in that context (a 4 yr old) and the fact that it's repeated would be a deal breaker for me.
If other kids pick up on this, it's going to be a tough thing to manage......
I would start "forcing" the parents to fix it by giving the issue to them.
Meeko 06:44 AM 04-08-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Apparently the punishment doesn't fit the crime as he is repeatedly using profanity so the parents need to take a different approach.
As for where he got it, the parents excuse of him having an older brother, the playground at school etc...is a cop out and just an easy way to blame someone else.
If the parents had a strict rule (and enforced it) about use of profanity this wouldn't be an issue. Kids see and hear things that aren't acceptable every day.....it doesn't automatically mean they're off the hook for copying the behavior or participating....kwim?
My kids growing up, heard all kinds of words that I would be embarrassed to type but both my kids knew from the get go that those words and type of language were unacceptable and if I had ever heard them use them, they'd be in big trouble.
A child willing to use this type of language somewhere else (where kids are usually better for others vs parents) tells me alot about the parents consequence for this behavior.
.....and repeated?!?! Yeah, the first time he uses a cuss word in care today I'd send him home immediately.
The next time I'd send him home and have a suspension period (such as remainder of the week) and the third time, I'd terminate services.
Profanity in that context (a 4 yr old) and the fact that it's repeated would be a deal breaker for me.
If other kids pick up on this, it's going to be a tough thing to manage......
I would start "forcing" the parents to fix it by giving the issue to them.
This...a thousand times over. The parents have just made excuses. Make them deal with it.Apparently the punishment doesn't fit the crime as he is repeatedly using profanity so the parents need to take a different approach.
As for where he got it, the parents excuse of him having an older brother, the playground at school etc...is a cop out and just an easy way to blame someone else.
If the parents had a strict rule (and enforced it) about use of profanity this wouldn't be an issue. Kids see and hear things that aren't acceptable every day.....it doesn't automatically mean they're off the hook for copying the behavior or participating....kwim?
My kids growing up, heard all kinds of words that I would be embarrassed to type but both my kids knew from the get go that those words and type of language were unacceptable and if I had ever heard them use them, they'd be in big trouble.
A child willing to use this type of language somewhere else (where kids are usually better for others vs parents) tells me alot about the parents consequence for this behavior.
.....and repeated?!?! Yeah, the first time he uses a cuss word in care today I'd send him home immediately.
The next time I'd send him home and have a suspension period (such as remainder of the week) and the third time, I'd terminate services.
Profanity in that context (a 4 yr old) and the fact that it's repeated would be a deal breaker for me.
If other kids pick up on this, it's going to be a tough thing to manage......
I would start "forcing" the parents to fix it by giving the issue to them.
Mom2Two 11:42 AM 04-08-2019
I would be surprised if the brother was just "telling" the younger child the words. If the little is using them like cuss words, he's HEARD them used as cuss words. Kids don't repeat every incomprehensible word they hear said around them--he's repeating how he's heard it used.
The parents need to deal with this. The older brother is going to get in trouble for using them at school sooner or later.
The parents need to deal with this. The older brother is going to get in trouble for using them at school sooner or later.
littlefriends 12:02 PM 04-08-2019
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
I would be surprised if the brother was just "telling" the younger child the words. If the little is using them like cuss words, he's HEARD them used as cuss words. Kids don't repeat every incomprehensible word they hear said around them--he's repeating how he's heard it used.
The parents need to deal with this. The older brother is going to get in trouble for using them at school sooner or later.
This is what I was thinking too. He’s heard them used if he’s now using them the “right” way. Eek. It’s hard to get them to stop-definitely put it back on the parents!! Making them go out of their way to leave work and have to pick him up is a perfect solution!!I would be surprised if the brother was just "telling" the younger child the words. If the little is using them like cuss words, he's HEARD them used as cuss words. Kids don't repeat every incomprehensible word they hear said around them--he's repeating how he's heard it used.
The parents need to deal with this. The older brother is going to get in trouble for using them at school sooner or later.
AmyKidsCo 12:50 PM 04-08-2019
It's hard because you don't want to give it too much attention (don't water your weeds) but you don't want it to continue either.
I have the same situation with a 2 yr old who uses G*d D*mmit regularly. When I brought it up to Mom I discovered where the child learned it.
I don't react when the child says it because this is the kind of child who will do it more if I did. So far no-one else has noticed or picked it up.
With a 4 yr old I'd have a conversation about what words are appropriate at my house and which aren't. I may also play up the "you're a big kid and have to help me teach the little kids"
angle too. Some kids like that feeling.
I have the same situation with a 2 yr old who uses G*d D*mmit regularly. When I brought it up to Mom I discovered where the child learned it.
I don't react when the child says it because this is the kind of child who will do it more if I did. So far no-one else has noticed or picked it up. With a 4 yr old I'd have a conversation about what words are appropriate at my house and which aren't. I may also play up the "you're a big kid and have to help me teach the little kids"
angle too. Some kids like that feeling.
CeriBear 04:00 AM 04-09-2019
Thanks for the advice everyone. I’m going to have another chat with mom and dad.
It’s not that he uses them in the right context all the time. It’s mostly just when he’s playing and wants to show off by saying words he knows are not appropriate. He will be in the block area and suddenly come out with s**t or d**n or even f**k.
I’ve noticed a pattern to his behavior. He is more aggressive and uses these words when his father is out of town for his job. Dad is more of a disciplinarian than mom.
Yesterday was actually a good day. No cuss words.
It’s not that he uses them in the right context all the time. It’s mostly just when he’s playing and wants to show off by saying words he knows are not appropriate. He will be in the block area and suddenly come out with s**t or d**n or even f**k.
I’ve noticed a pattern to his behavior. He is more aggressive and uses these words when his father is out of town for his job. Dad is more of a disciplinarian than mom.
Yesterday was actually a good day. No cuss words.
CeriBear 08:10 AM 04-20-2019
I had another chat with mom and dad and explained the seriousness of the situation. They agreed that we have to nip this behavior in the bud as it had become an issue at home as well. If he uses these words at home he is going to lose a priveledge (such as playing on the iPad or going to play basketball with daddy) as well as be spanked or sent to his room. If he uses these words at school I am to let them know and he will be disciplined for this as well. My discipline for using curse words will be having to sit at a table by himself for a certain time. He knows that if he can’t talk nice he can’t play with his friends.
This child has been doing very good the past couple of weeks. Once he slipped and said the “s” word but he realized he did wrong and said sorry Ms. Ceri. Of course saying sorry didn’t excuse it and he had to go sit by himself. Mom says he has been doing much better at home too. When he goes through the day without saying curse words he is getting a reward. If he slips up and says them he misses fun things like the iPad or going to a pizza party on Saturday.
This child has been doing very good the past couple of weeks. Once he slipped and said the “s” word but he realized he did wrong and said sorry Ms. Ceri. Of course saying sorry didn’t excuse it and he had to go sit by himself. Mom says he has been doing much better at home too. When he goes through the day without saying curse words he is getting a reward. If he slips up and says them he misses fun things like the iPad or going to a pizza party on Saturday.