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Old 11-06-2011, 10:33 PM
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Default Disturbing Behaviors From New Kids At Mealtimes - Advice Please!

Sorry in advance for the length of this......

I just started a pair of siblings two weeks ago - a girl who is 13 months old and a boy is 2yrs old. For the month of November they only come Thursday & Friday, then they'll come W,TH,F starting in December. They are with Grandma during the days they aren't here.

So far they are pretty good children. Great nappers, great at drop-off and pick-up, play well with the other children and they always seem happy.

The main issue is something that I think is very distrubing. I need caffeine to get through the day - my drug of choice is Coca Cola I keep 2-liters of it in the daycare fridge for myself and for my assistant and we'll have a cup of it a few times a day. We don't outwardly show the children what we are drinking - we keep it in dark cups and we tell the children we are having water. They never see the 2-liter bottles and the fridge blocks the view from the counter on where we pour. Well.....first day of new kids and I take out a 2-liter. I open it up and the the familiar sound of 'pssssss' echos in the kitchen during a quiet lull during lunch. Both new kids go nuts - the 2yo boy is bouncing in his seat, pumping his fists in the air and he'll say "Yay!", over and over and over. The 13mo girl is dancing around in her seat and smiling like crazy. My assistant and I were confused the first day at their spontanious excitement, but it ended after a short while so we let it go.

Next day, I again, open up the 2-liter to pour me a cup and once again, the two kids burst into a very happy dance in their seats. The other children are bewildered - probably thinking they missed something funny and they are just staring at the two new kids. With everyone paying attention to the two kids, I decide to experiment and I hold the 2-liter in my hands to show the two new kids who are the only ones looking in my direction. Annnnnd what do you know? They get even MORE excited! I quickly hide the bottle and both children go into massive fits at the table. I had to dismiss the boy to reading area and the girl was sent to the baby zone until the rest of the kids were done eating.

Does this mean they drink soda at home?! Or with Grandma?! I cannot even fathom the thought of a 13mo and a 2yo drinking soda!

It gets better.......

My sister brings my assistant and I lunch on Friday's. My assistant usually gets fast food, McDonald's or Burger King, ect. I usually get vegetable stir-fry from my local favorite diner. We eat during naptime when the children are sleeping so they never see us eating this food. Well, my assistant usually throws the lunch trash before the kids wake up, but she was busy cleaning up after a child who had an accident on their mat and who was very upset about it and it didn't get thrown. We had some room in the trash can, so we decided we could wait until after snack's trash was thrown. The kids start finishing and they are dismissed from the table to throw trash. We then hear the 2yo new boy, let out an excited hollar. He's at the trashcan, holding up the empty McDonald's bag from my assistance's lunch, and he's calling his sister, "Susie, Susie, look, look!", waving the bag back and forth and dancing around. This is the face my assistant and I made ------->

I make the boy throw the trash away and send him on his merry way to go play. He, instead, throws a nice long fit asking for "his" nuggets. His sister, who had seen the bag her brother was waving around, is crying and using the sign "eat" over and over and over.

The tantrums ended after 1 hour, just 10 minutes before Dad picked-up. I wanted to get advice on what I should say to the parents, IF I should say anything to the parents, and how to deal with the behavior the kids show when they hear or see soda or fast food McDonald's bags before I went forward.

Any advice is appreciated. I have never experienced this in my years doing daycare and I run a vegetarian daycare, so this is very, very disturbing for me to see

TIA!
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  #2  
Old 11-07-2011, 02:58 AM
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Here is a similar thread from: http://daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35218
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Old 11-07-2011, 04:55 AM
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Do your best to feed them healthy there. It's possible that Granny has been giving them the forbidden goodies and that's why they are with you now.
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Old 11-07-2011, 05:55 AM
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I would use the empty Coke liters and fill them up with water. Open them up in front of the kids and offer them the water out of it.

I would get some Mickeys bags and put some green vegetables in them. Open them up and offer them that.

They just need to see at your house that what is treats everywhere else is not treats at your house.
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Old 11-07-2011, 05:59 AM
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I would just ignore it. Just be consistent at your daycare, and they will fall in line with your expectations for their behavior. It has only been two weeks. I takes longer than that for them to understand what your is yours, not theirs.

As a parent, I really try to keep thing reasonably healthy, but some things like McD's is completely out of my control and I would be super pissed if a daycare provider was all judgy implications over my kids behavior in response to soda or a McD's bag.

FWIW, this is my background story: My own little ones (20mo foster son & 15mo ds) are very, very familiar with McDs, and the 20mo would likely asks for his burger, possible tantrum over a McDs bag with nothing for him. Our situation is stupid visitations that apparently can ONLY happen at McD's (I HATE McD's!!!)....that are 2-3 hours long, 2-3 times a month. Since birth. Double uggh.

So, yeah....my babies have had McD's as some of is first real foods. And orange soda & sprite. Ugh. YEah, I COULD be the big meanie and not them not to eat from 11:30-2pm, and watch his other 4 siblings eat their Happy Meals. It totally isn't worth drama over a cheeseburger & fries, 2-3 times a month.
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Old 11-07-2011, 06:04 AM
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I would ignore it, too. It really is possible that they drink soda at home and eat out every night for dinner. Whether they do or don't, it's not your place to judge NOR in this case is it your place to offer up parenting advice.
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Old 11-07-2011, 06:12 AM
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I would ignore it, too. It really is possible that they drink soda at home and eat out every night for dinner. Whether they do or don't, it's not your place to judge NOR in this case is it your place to offer up parenting advice.
I agree with this.
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Old 11-07-2011, 07:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I would use the empty Coke liters and fill them up with water. Open them up in front of the kids and offer them the water out of it.

I would get some Mickeys bags and put some green vegetables in them. Open them up and offer them that.

They just need to see at your house that what is treats everywhere else is not treats at your house.
those are GREAT ideas!!!
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Old 11-07-2011, 07:33 AM
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I like NannyD's suggestion. But don't be surprised if they throw a fit if it's not nuggets or soda. I am sure if you do this a few times, they won't get so excited!
The only way I would mention it is if one of the rules you have is if they are required to be vegetarian at home as well. Otherwise it really doesn't make a difference. I'm sure the parents know how excited they get over these treats and find it cute.
If it bothers you that much, send out generic news letter on the downfalls and problems with soda and fast food and why it is a good idea for kids to eat healthy.
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Old 11-07-2011, 07:34 AM
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you can't control what goes on at home, only what happens when they are in your care.

i would ignore it, and not say anything to the parents. you aren't going to change their minds.

i would make extra sure that none of those items are in plain view of the kiddos...ever. (just for your own peice of mind that they aren't tantruming all the time)

and turn the faucet on and cough as you open your soda. works every time. LOL I'm a soda-holic too.
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Old 11-07-2011, 07:51 AM
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I had a little one aske me one time when I opened up a Pepsi ask if I was drinking a beer!
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:00 AM
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I'm not shocked at all. I know a lot of kids that eat a lot of fast food. One mom at my church was feeding her 3 month old cake at a church event. Big spoonfuls that she was shoveling in his month, now that was shocking!
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:53 AM
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It is very possible that these children eat this every night, and unless they are having direct problems from eating the food I'd leave it alone. My 18 month son gets excited every time he see's anyone drinking soda in the house. We pick up a 12 pack every time we have compan(about 4 times a year). He has had little sips and goes nuts when he sees it. My just turned 3 year old thinks Mc Donalds is the greatest treat around. He has been there on a few occations and asks when ever he see's the the sign and if he saw an empty happy meal box he would probable ask for a hamberger. They may get excited because it is on a rare occation that they get to have these thing. I don't see anything wrong with going a handful of times in a year and it really isn't buisness if they go once a week.
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I would use the empty Coke liters and fill them up with water. Open them up in front of the kids and offer them the water out of it.

I would get some Mickeys bags and put some green vegetables in them. Open them up and offer them that.

They just need to see at your house that what is treats everywhere else is not treats at your house.
This totall works! I had a batch of kids a few years back that were awful eaters. We were having sweet potato fries one day and I had asked one of my dcm's (who worked at McD's) to bring me a few paper bags that they served small french fries in. I put the sweet potato fries in tbe packages and after a month of the kids refusing to eat them because they "don't liiiiike them", they gobbled them down. We have done it with cups, and hamburger wrappers too. Even got small pizza boxes once from Pizza Hut. Kids are weird like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
I'm not shocked at all. I know a lot of kids that eat a lot of fast food. One mom at my church was feeding her 3 month old cake at a church event. Big spoonfuls that she was shoveling in his month, now that was shocking!
I have a dcm who has a 12 month old. She is insistent that the child eat only rice cereal and steamed fresh veggies while here.....as she tells me stories about how she is feeding her taco's from Taco John's and scrambled eggs with Tobasco for breakfast.....
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Old 11-07-2011, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I would use the empty Coke liters and fill them up with water. Open them up in front of the kids and offer them the water out of it.

I would get some Mickeys bags and put some green vegetables in them. Open them up and offer them that.

They just need to see at your house that what is treats everywhere else is not treats at your house.
I saw a study once where children were divided into 2 groups. One group was given carrots in a plain wrapper, the other group was given carrots out of a McD's bag, wrapped in McD's wrapper. Yep, you guessed it, the McD wrapped carrots were more popular. Sad, huh?
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Old 11-07-2011, 10:51 AM
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My dog even whines and scratches out the window when he sees those arches, mcd's is like herion lol
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Old 11-07-2011, 12:08 PM
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Great suggestions by everyone!
Here are mine....
You can take two empty 2 liter bottles and save them go to local educational store and buy a tornado tube and turn the bottles into a tornado!!!! Fun and educational. Oh tornado tubes are like 3-5 dollars.
How about having veggie chckn nugget and sweet potato fries day yummmm! Put those in the Mcdonalds bags as well.
It does take at least a month for children to adjust to a different environment.
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Old 11-07-2011, 12:47 PM
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I would just make sure the children dont see the items you feel are inappropriate for them. I mean,.... If its not good for them, don't let them see that you have it. It's not good for you either. Either hide it better or eliminate it. IMO the chz should never see you modeling behavior you don't allow.
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Old 11-07-2011, 01:42 PM
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Thanks for the responses everyone!

Nannyde, I'll try the empty 2-liter filled with water when the children come on Thursday. I'll also see if I can get my sister to get some empty McDonald's bags. I'll feel like a contradiction - a vegetarian walking in McDonalds There's a good chance I'll be struck with lightening.

Melskids - I used to cough real loud when I opened up the bottle, but the children never asked about the sounds so I stopped doing it. Guess I'll have to start that up again with the new kids!

To the other posters who basically told me to mind my own business....... when the children start throwing fits for long periods of time because they see soda or a McDonald's bag in MY daycare, it is MY business. The youngest is 13mo and her reaction to soda? Completely insane. Does 13mo not mean anything these days? She's just barely out of being an "infant". I do not find it okay for a 13mo old to go bananas when she sees me drinking soda. I'm an adult - I'm allowed to decide what I want to drink and I'm sorry, but a toddler doesn't get a choice at MY daycare. I advertise heavily on my vegetarian menu and maybe that's why the parents decided to go with me - to balance out the fast food they're getting at home or with Grandma (which is what I'm leaning towards - Mom mentioned how spoiled the children are by Grandma).

I don't normally care what happens at home - I run my daycare a certain way and the children adapt beautifully. They know the difference from home and daycare but I find the idea of two toddlers drinking soda completely sad. I'm now more grateful they are in my care, I can pump a lot of healthy food into their little bodies which is how they should be eating anyhow.
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Old 11-07-2011, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queenbee View Post
Thanks for the responses everyone!

Nannyde, I'll try the empty 2-liter filled with water when the children come on Thursday. I'll also see if I can get my sister to get some empty McDonald's bags. I'll feel like a contradiction - a vegetarian walking in McDonalds There's a good chance I'll be struck with lightening.

Melskids - I used to cough real loud when I opened up the bottle, but the children never asked about the sounds so I stopped doing it. Guess I'll have to start that up again with the new kids!

To the other posters who basically told me to mind my own business....... when the children start throwing fits for long periods of time because they see soda or a McDonald's bag in MY daycare, it is MY business. The youngest is 13mo and her reaction to soda? Completely insane. Does 13mo not mean anything these days? She's just barely out of being an "infant". I do not find it okay for a 13mo old to go bananas when she sees me drinking soda. I'm an adult - I'm allowed to decide what I want to drink and I'm sorry, but a toddler doesn't get a choice at MY daycare. I advertise heavily on my vegetarian menu and maybe that's why the parents decided to go with me - to balance out the fast food they're getting at home or with Grandma (which is what I'm leaning towards - Mom mentioned how spoiled the children are by Grandma).

I don't normally care what happens at home - I run my daycare a certain way and the children adapt beautifully. They know the difference from home and daycare but I find the idea of two toddlers drinking soda completely sad. I'm now more grateful they are in my care, I can pump a lot of healthy food into their little bodies which is how they should be eating anyhow.

I agree with you. Acually I was coming to post that, "why should we have to hide food around the kids" they are kids and we decide what they should eat, they shouldn't decide what we should eat, right!
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Old 11-07-2011, 05:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I would use the empty Coke liters and fill them up with water. Open them up in front of the kids and offer them the water out of it.

I would get some Mickeys bags and put some green vegetables in them. Open them up and offer them that.

They just need to see at your house that what is treats everywhere else is not treats at your house.
That Nan.....ever the tricky one! I love it!
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Old 11-07-2011, 09:10 PM
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Default Focus on the problem the fit not the food

I would not adress the food or soda directly, just the fit throwing. If you decied to talk to the parents try and keep the conversation docussed on the enaporaite fit throwing behavior and down play the reason the fit started.

Maybe start the conversation by saying so today Sally threw a fit for an hour and go on to desribe the fit throwing behavior in as much detail as possible, only mention the reason for the fit if asked.

Oh I like Nan ideal as well
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Old 11-08-2011, 09:33 AM
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gotta love what kids learn at home. I have a girl who says she wishes I had chocolate because thats what mom gives her everytime she goes to the bathroom in the potty, shes 3. Needless to say I can't get her to go here so she just messes in her pullup. I just tell her we don't give treats here for doing something big girls should do. This might even be going on at dads too because he said she is going really well for him.
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