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  #1  
Old 10-20-2011, 02:50 PM
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sahm2three sahm2three is offline
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Default Just Drafted The Letter Of All Letters For The Daycare Parents

I am so stressed out, and tired of picking up all the slack here, while they drop the ball at home, so I am laying it all out there for them. Things have to change or I will start weeding out kids and families! I have an entire new set of kids on my waiting list, so no problem filling spots. I know many of you would say that it is too personal, but you know what, they want me to care for their children, they are going to see things from my side and how it is affecting me as a person. Here is the letter:

Dear Daycare families,

This summer, I passed out income sheets for the food program, and I am told that not everyone handed theirs in. When they aren't handed in, I do not receive as much as I would if they were turned in. I strive to serve very healthy, unprocessed foods. If I am going to continue to do this, I have to have each of you fill your paperwork out and send it in. If I have to give you a stamp, I will. Or I will have to start asking that each family bring their own food. (Which would cause a whole other problem because this kid would want that kids food and etc). I can't find out who didn't turn theirs in because it is confidential, so if you think your sheet may be one that may not have been turned in, please ask for another form and get it in asap.

We have had many behavioral issues at daycare lately, and we have spent far too much non-daycare hours brainstorming on what we can do to improve things. It has become a great source of stress, and we have spent far too much time being upset because after hours about it all. These are things that we have observed that must change or we will no longer be able to continue care:

Parents MUST run the show. You are the parent, you must take charge of your child when you come to pick them up. Pick up time is chaotic, so we cannot allow children to run around the house. When you come to pick up your child, promptly put their shoes and coats on and enforce the rules of the house which are:

1. No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

There is far too much running around the house being allowed, and we would rather not have to continue to discipline your child when you are here. The kids need to know that even though changing of the authority figure is happening, the rules do not change. I see far too much hitting of the parent being allowed, yelling and running around my house being allowed by the parents. We still have other children to care for, and some possibly sleeping, so when you come to retrieve your children, we would appreciate it if you made it as smooth as possible. Also, when our “child is sleeping” sign is up, please be respectful when you come to the door and enforce the quiet during nap/rest time rule with your child.

We have done away with the prize box. Kids were becoming ungrateful for the little gifts they were receiving. Plus their behaviors take a nose dive when parents arrive, which is also prompting the above paragraph. Makes us sad, because it felt good to reward good days.

We have noticed that many of the kids seem to be way over tired when they come to daycare. Either they were up thru the night watching tv, or went to bed too late or up too early. We have a schedule we follow here. Each child can't have their own schedule when in a daycare. We have to think about the daycare as a whole. As much as we would like to hold and snuggle an over tired child all day long, we just can't. Please do what you can to ensure that your child is getting a good nights sleep each night, and napping consistantly on the weekend when they are not in care so that it isn't such a chore to keep them on a good schedule here. Right now naps are a disaster here. We try to separate the good sleepers from the not so good sleepers. But most days we spend our “break” running from room to room trying to keep kids quiet so the others can sleep. Over ten hours a day with very little break becomes exhausting, so enforcing good naps at home may make the difference here. Getting a break in our 10 hour day makes for much happier providers.

Respect. Even toddlers can learn respect. We don't allow hitting of any kind here, whether it be towards another child, a pet, and certainly not towards an adult. If you are experiencing rough playing and hitting in your home, whether it be in fun, or frustration from your child, we are asking you to do your part to put an end to it at home, as we are doing our part here. Kids are going to test the limits, but they have to be made to know, that hitting is NOT ok. This is a phrase we use each time a child hits or hurts another child. “X, you just hit Y, and that is NOT ok. You hurt your friend. Time out for hitting.” After the time out, we explain in kid language, short phrases, why they cannot hurt other people. We also say the phrase, “We use our big kid words, no hitting.” Each and every time. Consistency is key. A normal part of being a toddler is pushing limits, but if we stay on the same page, and stay consistent, we can influence the children in a positive way.

We have lots of littles in care. We know how much you all cherish your time with your kiddos in the evenings, and want to do lots of snuggling and holding. We can't fault anyone for that. We feel for all of you working parents, and feel very grateful that you all have chosen us to care for your precious children. That being said, we have a few little ones who absolutely cannot be put down. This causes lots of stress here, not only on us, but on the other kiddos who have to listen to the constant crying. We just can't physically hold them all the time. It wouldn't be good for them either. They all need to learn to explore, play with and manipulate toys, and play with others. Encourage independent play at home as much as possible.

Although this letter may seem harsh, it comes only from a place of love for all the children in our care. We know that it takes a village to raise a child, and know that much of this must start at home for us to be able to carry it through here. We are trying to do whatever we can to ensure that your child's day is full of fun and learning!

Thank you,

Miss X and Miss Y

What do you think. I am sure many will say too preachy, but I feel like I have to spell it out for them all. We have issues with each and every family and child, and the issues are all in this letter, so everyone is getting one. I am ready for the firestorm, or children being pulled.
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  #2  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:01 PM
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I think you should wait until next Friday to send it.

I'd recommend reading it again, first, though.
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  #3  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:04 PM
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And provide all parents with a new food program application to fill out along with your letter.
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  #4  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:06 PM
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Just a suggestion, but...

rather than tell them that they will have to bring their own food, tell them that you are going to raise rates in order to make up the difference.

My other suggestion would be to listen to Cat...
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  #5  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:08 PM
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I actually LOVE it! Of course I've been very stressed so I'm definitely seeing it from your point. All my parents are on board with me when it comes to behaviors but I'm ready to ask each of the moms if they would come one at a time to see the behaviors I'm talking about and see what we can do to fix it.
I have actually asked the parents to have their children have playdates with other children so parents could see what the children are doing.

It was commented when one did that of "Lord bless you for what you do all day!"

If you lose some go forward with new ones. Parents will figure it out when it happens over and over again no matter what daycare they go to.

Last edited by Country Kids; 10-20-2011 at 03:13 PM. Reason: spelling
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  #6  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:09 PM
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I would NOT send that..
Sounds like you have lost complete control of your daycare and now are wanting the parents to take fault and action.

Of course you need a back bone, but I think you need some change. Like start the nannyde bye bye outside program, and putting an end to things as they happen.

Trust me I've done my share of trying to get parents to see things my way, but they are only going to care about what works for them abs their child at home. As they see it, what happens at your house is your problem.
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  #7  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:16 PM
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I would never send a note like that home to parents.


These long letters won't make any difference in behavior at all guaranteed.

I would put on my big girl panties and speak face to face with each family about each families specific issue.
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  #8  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:19 PM
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I don't see it as the providers losing control-but the kids going totally wild when the parents arrive. I actually had it happen today. Child was sitting quietly and when mom showed up went running through my house!!!! Mom kept talking to the child but child did it like twice then I intervened. What I'm starting to notice are parents are afraid to discipline children and especially in front of other people. Seriously I'm not going to report you unless it turns into abuse! Get firm with the child, let them know you are serious, and take control!
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  #9  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I would NOT send that..
Sounds like you have lost complete control of your daycare and now are wanting the parents to take fault and action.

Of course you need a back bone, but I think you need some change. Like start the nannyde bye bye outside program, and putting an end to things as they happen.

Trust me I've done my share of trying to get parents to see things my way, but they are only going to care about what works for them abs their child at home. As they see it, what happens at your house is your problem.
I have to agree, you have lost control. Hand the letter out next week. I don't like the fact that you mention that parents need to run the show, when acually its you who should run the show. I know this sounds mean, but you need to stand up and take charge of your business.
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  #10  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:27 PM
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Hi. I don't have time to read the responses, so maybe someone said this. I find it easier to have them ALL ready to go at pickup time. I go so far as to put their belongings by the door. (backpack, diaper bag, toy, whatever). I have their shoes & coats on. They are ready to just walk out the door when Mom arrives. Anyway, just my two cents.
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  #11  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KBCsMommy View Post
And provide all parents with a new food program application to fill out along with your letter.
And an adressed stamped envelope and have the form dated the first day of enrollment. Date the form for the parent just do not sign it. I had to start doing that Because the child is not enrolled untill the date on the parents form.
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  #12  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:36 PM
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I would talk to parents at pick up and then hand them the letter saying here is a letter sumerizing what we just talked about.
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  #13  
Old 10-20-2011, 03:45 PM
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I would send individual letters to each family addressing only those things that they need to change. A mass letter is going to have some families feeling like this only applies to others. Rewrite for professionalism (I agree with daycare)
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  #14  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:01 PM
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Oh friend, please don't send this letter. Instead, ask for help. Ask here on the forum about how to get some of these things done. Deal with one issue at a time, so that you can deal with it.

Never admit to a parent - especially in writing - that you are at your wit's end. If you send out this letter, and next week a child gets hurt, even if you were not at fault, you've set yourself up to be reported, because you could no longer handle the stress, and CPS will find you at fault.

As mentioned, you are still in control when the parents are at your home. Have a talk with the children, let them know what you expect, and then with calm voices, enforce the new rules. I have a little guy that acts out occasionally when his mom comes, the next day we go back to square one: put on your shoes and wait in this chair till she gets here. Then he does well for a time.

As for the food program, just say to each parent individually: The food program tells me that some parents have not yet turned in their form. Do you need a new form? Did you mail yours? I'd be happy to provide a stamp. That's so much more pro-active.

Replacing the families is not the answer. Making changes in your program is.
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  #15  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrymom View Post
I have to agree, you have lost control. Hand the letter out next week. I don't like the fact that you mention that parents need to run the show, when acually its you who should run the show. I know this sounds mean, but you need to stand up and take charge of your business.
I DO run the show. But I also have 10 other kids here that need my care, and when the parent shows up, THEY should take responsibility for THEIR child.
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  #16  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I am so stressed out, and tired of picking up all the slack here, while they drop the ball at home, so I am laying it all out there for them. Things have to change or I will start weeding out kids and families! I have an entire new set of kids on my waiting list, so no problem filling spots. I know many of you would say that it is too personal, but you know what, they want me to care for their children, they are going to see things from my side and how it is affecting me as a person. Here is the letter:

Dear Daycare families,

This summer, I passed out income sheets for the food program, and I am told that not everyone handed theirs in. When they aren't handed in, I do not receive as much as I would if they were turned in. I strive to serve very healthy, unprocessed foods. If I am going to continue to do this, I have to have each of you fill your paperwork out and send it in. If I have to give you a stamp, I will. Or I will have to start asking that each family bring their own food. (Which would cause a whole other problem because this kid would want that kids food and etc). I can't find out who didn't turn theirs in because it is confidential, so if you think your sheet may be one that may not have been turned in, please ask for another form and get it in asap.

We have had many behavioral issues at daycare lately, and we have spent far too much non-daycare hours brainstorming on what we can do to improve things. It has become a great source of stress, and we have spent far too much time being upset because after hours about it all. These are things that we have observed that must change or we will no longer be able to continue care:

Parents MUST run the show. You are the parent, you must take charge of your child when you come to pick them up. Pick up time is chaotic, so we cannot allow children to run around the house. When you come to pick up your child, promptly put their shoes and coats on and enforce the rules of the house which are:

1. No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

There is far too much running around the house being allowed, and we would rather not have to continue to discipline your child when you are here. The kids need to know that even though changing of the authority figure is happening, the rules do not change. I see far too much hitting of the parent being allowed, yelling and running around my house being allowed by the parents. We still have other children to care for, and some possibly sleeping, so when you come to retrieve your children, we would appreciate it if you made it as smooth as possible. Also, when our “child is sleeping” sign is up, please be respectful when you come to the door and enforce the quiet during nap/rest time rule with your child.

We have done away with the prize box. Kids were becoming ungrateful for the little gifts they were receiving. Plus their behaviors take a nose dive when parents arrive, which is also prompting the above paragraph. Makes us sad, because it felt good to reward good days.

We have noticed that many of the kids seem to be way over tired when they come to daycare. Either they were up thru the night watching tv, or went to bed too late or up too early. We have a schedule we follow here. Each child can't have their own schedule when in a daycare. We have to think about the daycare as a whole. As much as we would like to hold and snuggle an over tired child all day long, we just can't. Please do what you can to ensure that your child is getting a good nights sleep each night, and napping consistantly on the weekend when they are not in care so that it isn't such a chore to keep them on a good schedule here. Right now naps are a disaster here. We try to separate the good sleepers from the not so good sleepers. But most days we spend our “break” running from room to room trying to keep kids quiet so the others can sleep. Over ten hours a day with very little break becomes exhausting, so enforcing good naps at home may make the difference here. Getting a break in our 10 hour day makes for much happier providers.

Respect. Even toddlers can learn respect. We don't allow hitting of any kind here, whether it be towards another child, a pet, and certainly not towards an adult. If you are experiencing rough playing and hitting in your home, whether it be in fun, or frustration from your child, we are asking you to do your part to put an end to it at home, as we are doing our part here. Kids are going to test the limits, but they have to be made to know, that hitting is NOT ok. This is a phrase we use each time a child hits or hurts another child. “X, you just hit Y, and that is NOT ok. You hurt your friend. Time out for hitting.” After the time out, we explain in kid language, short phrases, why they cannot hurt other people. We also say the phrase, “We use our big kid words, no hitting.” Each and every time. Consistency is key. A normal part of being a toddler is pushing limits, but if we stay on the same page, and stay consistent, we can influence the children in a positive way.

We have lots of littles in care. We know how much you all cherish your time with your kiddos in the evenings, and want to do lots of snuggling and holding. We can't fault anyone for that. We feel for all of you working parents, and feel very grateful that you all have chosen us to care for your precious children. That being said, we have a few little ones who absolutely cannot be put down. This causes lots of stress here, not only on us, but on the other kiddos who have to listen to the constant crying. We just can't physically hold them all the time. It wouldn't be good for them either. They all need to learn to explore, play with and manipulate toys, and play with others. Encourage independent play at home as much as possible.

Although this letter may seem harsh, it comes only from a place of love for all the children in our care. We know that it takes a village to raise a child, and know that much of this must start at home for us to be able to carry it through here. We are trying to do whatever we can to ensure that your child's day is full of fun and learning!

Thank you,

Miss X and Miss Y

What do you think. I am sure many will say too preachy, but I feel like I have to spell it out for them all. We have issues with each and every family and child, and the issues are all in this letter, so everyone is getting one. I am ready for the firestorm, or children being pulled.
I'd revise it to this:

Dear Families:

I have been informed that some of you did not turn in your food program paperwork. Without families completing the food program paperwork, they provide me with less money to provide your child with wholesome, nutritious and unprocessed meals. Attached is another form, if you did not previously submit your form, please send this in using the postage paid envelope promptly. Anyone failing to submit the paperwork may be subject to a rate increase to cover the costs.

Pick up and drop off times can be very chaotic. Starting next Monday we will be using the "Buh-bye Birdie" (I just made that up) system. Buh-bye Birdie means your child will have his coat and shoes put on 5 minutes before pick up time. Upon arrival of the parents, your child will be escorted out the door. We are spending far too much time chasing children and continuously monitor them while parents want to chat. You are welcome to a conference but it must be done after hours. If you are wanting to know how his day went, please ask us to provide a daily sheet.

To make arrivals and departures easier, we will no longer be permitting anyone to come or go during nap/rest time. (1pm - 3pm) If your child needs to be picked up during these times, please notify us ahead of time and be respectful that other children are resting during this time and it needs to remain quiet. This brings us to a new policy that we are instilling. All children must nap or rest during nap/rest time. If your child doesn't nap, he/she will be required to lay down for 1 hour and rest. We do not offer quiet play during this time.

I'd leave it at that. Parents don't need to know whether the prize box is something you've continued with or not. They also don't need to be told how to parent their child at night.

The way your letter sounds is that you want the parents to do all of these things and that these kids are out of control. However, your letter comes off as though you don't have any control either.

I definitely would revise and not send the original.
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  #17  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:06 PM
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well sometimes replacing a family IS the answer but in this case, the OP has said that EVERY family is having similar issues so at that point, it really is up to the provider to see their part in the dynamics of the situation. Perhaps a good start would be to list out exactly what you want to see changed and have comments from the other providers on this board. I have gotten some very simple but effective advice and have been able to solve a few issues without even mentioning a thing to the parents.
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  #18  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:09 PM
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I agree with everyone, this letter sounds like a letter you would have posted on the bulletin board for your employees to read so that things run more smoothly.
Parents will never change the way they do things at home to make your job easier. They really think these things are your issues.

I think to help with nap time just don't allow any drop offs after 9 a.m.
Definitely do the bye bye routine at closing.
Then as far as hitting, they will catch on. Your post reminded me of a kid I just recently had. He was punching his mom in the stomach when she picked him up and she just laughed and said, "That don't hurt". This explained a lot.
I have seen dads/older siblings play this way with their kids and that's why they do it usually.

I am right there with you, I wish I could send a letter to parents like this but it does sound like complaints and too general for everyone.
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  #19  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
I'd revise it to this:

Dear Families:

I have been informed that some of you did not turn in your food program paperwork. Without families completing the food program paperwork, they provide me with less money to provide your child with wholesome, nutritious and unprocessed meals. Attached is another form, if you did not previously submit your form, please send this in using the postage paid envelope promptly. Anyone failing to submit the paperwork may be subject to a rate increase to cover the costs.

Pick up and drop off times can be very chaotic. Starting next Monday we will be using the "Buh-bye Birdie" (I just made that up) system. Buh-bye Birdie means your child will have his coat and shoes put on 5 minutes before pick up time. Upon arrival of the parents, your child will be escorted out the door. We are spending far too much time chasing children and continuously monitor them while parents want to chat. You are welcome to a conference but it must be done after hours. If you are wanting to know how his day went, please ask us to provide a daily sheet.

To make arrivals and departures easier, we will no longer be permitting anyone to come or go during nap/rest time. (1pm - 3pm) If your child needs to be picked up during these times, please notify us ahead of time and be respectful that other children are resting during this time and it needs to remain quiet. This brings us to a new policy that we are instilling. All children must nap or rest during nap/rest time. If your child doesn't nap, he/she will be required to lay down for 1 hour and rest. We do not offer quiet play during this time.

I'd leave it at that. Parents don't need to know whether the prize box is something you've continued with or not. They also don't need to be told how to parent their child at night.

The way your letter sounds is that you want the parents to do all of these things and that these kids are out of control. However, your letter comes off as though you don't have any control either.

I definitely would revise and not send the original.
Great letter!

I do remember recently reading somewhere that it is not OK to raise rates for that specific reason, or to raise them to completely cover the cost of food when you are on the food program.

Rates can be raised, but she can get in trouble for using that reason in order to do it.

I can't find exactly what it says, but I'll look for it.
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyce View Post
Hi. I don't have time to read the responses, so maybe someone said this. I find it easier to have them ALL ready to go at pickup time. I go so far as to put their belongings by the door. (backpack, diaper bag, toy, whatever). I have their shoes & coats on. They are ready to just walk out the door when Mom arrives. Anyway, just my two cents.
I too have started doing this. I found the parents actually appreciated it. They are tired from work and just want to get going most of the time. My new families will want to chat a little, but the rest are just ready to go.
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  #21  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grandmom View Post
Oh friend, please don't send this letter. Instead, ask for help. Ask here on the forum about how to get some of these things done. Deal with one issue at a time, so that you can deal with it.

Never admit to a parent - especially in writing - that you are at your wit's end. If you send out this letter, and next week a child gets hurt, even if you were not at fault, you've set yourself up to be reported, because you could no longer handle the stress, and CPS will find you at fault.

As mentioned, you are still in control when the parents are at your home. Have a talk with the children, let them know what you expect, and then with calm voices, enforce the new rules. I have a little guy that acts out occasionally when his mom comes, the next day we go back to square one: put on your shoes and wait in this chair till she gets here. Then he does well for a time.

As for the food program, just say to each parent individually: The food program tells me that some parents have not yet turned in their form. Do you need a new form? Did you mail yours? I'd be happy to provide a stamp. That's so much more pro-active.

Replacing the families is not the answer. Making changes in your program is.
There is no way I can change the way things are here without the parents making changes. Parenting has gone down the pooper I have decided, and they all want to just do what is easy for THEM. They don't want to do the hard work involved in raising a good upstanding citizen. I have had parents tell me that their child didn't sleep well and at 5 AM heard them yell "Show's over!" because they have a movie looped to run all night long! Then I have parents who allow their child to hit them while they are helping get shoes on. I can only say so many times, "No X, we don't hit!" Or "don't hit your mom. That isn't ok." I have done time outs with parents here, and they don't get it. I feel like I absolutely have to spell it out! I may leave a few things out, but I do feel like it needs to be said. They come to me complaining that their child is tired in the evenings. Yeah, well they are SOOOOOOO over tired that they won't sleep here either.

None of these things are going to be a surprise to the parents. I have talked to each of them face to face. It goes in one ear and out the other. At least with a letter, they have a written warning and if they get a term letter a week later, they won't be surprised and I can say, I gave you a letter telling you what I expected.

I wish I could do more. I really do. I worry myself SICK over all of this. I am done being the only one worrying about it and doing the hard work!

I get where everyone is coming from. But I HAVE to do/say something!!!!
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:34 PM
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Yes this is correct, while on the food program we can't use the reason for increased rates is because of food cost. The food program does an annual review of the cost of food and will increase rates when and if needed.

You can use any other excuse.
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:35 PM
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I too have started doing this. I found the parents actually appreciated it. They are tired from work and just want to get going most of the time. My new families will want to chat a little, but the rest are just ready to go.
No one shows up at the same time. I don't want to have to sit by the door for 20 mins with a child waiting for their parents.
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:38 PM
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No one shows up at the same time. I don't want to have to sit by the door for 20 mins with a child waiting for their parents.
Do you work on contracted hours?
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:46 PM
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Do you work on contracted hours?
Yes. And no one shows up on time. Ever.
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  #26  
Old 10-20-2011, 04:53 PM
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So start with that right there.
You need to enforce your late policy. If you don't have one get one now. Smack it down right now. Effective tomorrow morning.
Then when you have this under control you will know what tome each child needs to be ready to go.

You have a helper? Have them in charge of getting the kids ready to go and have that person wait with them. Read a book or draw a picture while waiting.

You just need to take the control back.
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Old 10-20-2011, 05:00 PM
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I'd revise it to this:

Dear Families:

I have been informed that some of you did not turn in your food program paperwork. Without families completing the food program paperwork, they provide me with less money to provide your child with wholesome, nutritious and unprocessed meals. Attached is another form, if you did not previously submit your form, please send this in using the postage paid envelope promptly. Anyone failing to submit the paperwork may be subject to a rate increase to cover the costs.

Pick up and drop off times can be very chaotic. Starting next Monday we will be using the "Buh-bye Birdie" (I just made that up) system. Buh-bye Birdie means your child will have his coat and shoes put on 5 minutes before pick up time. Upon arrival of the parents, your child will be escorted out the door. We are spending far too much time chasing children and continuously monitor them while parents want to chat. You are welcome to a conference but it must be done after hours. If you are wanting to know how his day went, please ask us to provide a daily sheet.

To make arrivals and departures easier, we will no longer be permitting anyone to come or go during nap/rest time. (1pm - 3pm) If your child needs to be picked up during these times, please notify us ahead of time and be respectful that other children are resting during this time and it needs to remain quiet. This brings us to a new policy that we are instilling. All children must nap or rest during nap/rest time. If your child doesn't nap, he/she will be required to lay down for 1 hour and rest. We do not offer quiet play during this time.

I'd leave it at that. Parents don't need to know whether the prize box is something you've continued with or not. They also don't need to be told how to parent their child at night.

The way your letter sounds is that you want the parents to do all of these things and that these kids are out of control. However, your letter comes off as though you don't have any control either.

I definitely would revise and not send the original.
I like this one better.. I understand where you are coming from, but the letter is just too all over the place and really sounds like you are frustrated. Is this letter meant to be a 1st warning for all the families? It came accross as more of a general complaint and very defensive (which is going to get you nowhere by the way). If you have a waiting list, start using it.

The parent that let their kids stay up until 5am shouldve received a phone call to come pick up their child since they were unable to participate in the day.

If everyone is coming in late all the time, I would actually start by sending out a 'reminders' letter (what their contracted times are, what the late fees are, acceptable and unacceptable behavior etc.) and then start enforcing your rules.

<<HUGS>> things will get better, just take a deep breath
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  #28  
Old 10-20-2011, 05:03 PM
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Even though you havn't lost control of your DC this letter may give the parents the idea that you have. If the kids are acting up when parents arrive then insist that ALL of the children sit down and behave. If it means asking the adult that just walked in to step back outside so be it. The DC kids are testing the authorative figure and if the parents don't take charge then that means that you have to draw the line and I'm talking about drawing the line with the parents also.

If I saw a DC child hitting his parent and the parent said nothing you better believe that I deffinetely would. "Little Timmy!" look him square in the eyes "We do not hit. Gentle touches. No hit." (i have mostly 2 yo's) then a stern look at the parent "We do not allow hitting here. You cannot allow your child to hit you here especially not in front of the other children. It is inapropriate behavior that needs to be addressed, not ignored". You need to make it clear to the parent that THEY must take control.

As for the food program problem I would have them all FILL OUT THE SHEET IN YOUR DAYCARE. Then YOU mail it in.

As for the letter, I think it's way to long and way too detailed. If you shorten it and state only succinct facts the point will be better made.
If I were to write a letter about these issues I would have written it like this (everything else I would handle one-on-one with each individual parent):

Dear Daycare families,

There have been several reoccurring issues that have come to my attention that need to be rectified which I will cover in this notice.

In the summer new food program forms needed to be filled out and returned by the daycare families. Not everyone turned one in to the food program and therefore I will not be reimbursed for meals for those families. Because of this all families must fill out another form here at daycare by [date] which I will personally mail to the food program. Any families that do not fill out a form by the designated date will have a fee of [amount] added to their weekly daycare rate to cover the difference of that loss.

Secondly I would like to address that there have been issues with daycare children not following the rules while their parents are present. I would like to remind everyone of the daycare rules and recommend that you remind your children of these rules if you see any of these issues arise when you drop-off or pick-up your child.

1. No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

These rules are in place to maintain order and the safety of all children in the daycare. If I observe any behavior that does not follow our guidelines then [daycare providers] will intervene and remind both you and your child of the rules. Hitting another child in daycare or an adult (even a parent) will not be tolerated.

We have noticed that some children arrive unrested and are overly tired. Unfortunately because we always have other children in our care we are unable to provide specialized individual care for them. We recommend that all children get the required 10-13 hours of sleep at night that pediatricians recommend. Children that do not get enough sleep during the night may become highly irritable and may need to be picked up early from daycare.

We would also like to remind all families that when our “child is sleeping” sign is up, you must be respectful of the resting children and enforce the quiet during nap/rest time rule with your child.

If you have any questions or concerns do not hesitate to contact us.

Thank you,

Miss X and Miss Y
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  #29  
Old 10-20-2011, 05:04 PM
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No one shows up at the same time. I don't want to have to sit by the door for 20 mins with a child waiting for their parents.
None of my parents show up at the same time either. But I know approximately when they will be here and I plan for it. I get their things ready by the door, get their shoes on and all the parents have to do is grab and go. When they come, I call the child put on their jacket and say bye bye little Johnny.
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Old 10-21-2011, 10:26 AM
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I would NOT send that..
Sounds like you have lost complete control of your daycare and now are wanting the parents to take fault and action.

Of course you need a back bone, but I think you need some change. Like start the nannyde bye bye outside program, and putting an end to things as they happen.

Trust me I've done my share of trying to get parents to see things my way, but they are only going to care about what works for them abs their child at home. As they see it, what happens at your house is your problem.
Im afraid I have to agree. Number one most parents wont read it. If there are really this many issues then set up conferences with each parent and adress them in private. Make notes on the things you talk about with each parent.
Maybe try having there shoes on and ready to leave, hold them by the hand and escort them to the front door and hand them off to the parent.
Raisng your rates may be a better idea than having each parent bring there lunch. Let us know how it goes. If you do loose kids I hope you can replace them soon.
Debbie
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  #31  
Old 10-21-2011, 11:24 AM
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I would not give that to the parents. You have stated a problem with almost every aspect of a typical daycare day. Which shows me that you have no control over the children, and are not able to get the required paperwork completed by your adult clients. Basically, like someone mentioned already, sounds like you have no control over your business at all.

I do, however understand that you probably have been trying in a nice way for a while to get the children and parents to do what you need them to do and by now are fed up and ready to explode. So you made a list of EVERYTHING that they are doing wrong.

I'm a little confused with your food program form. Maybe it is different for each state. But in my state, Maryland, EVERY child that attends my daycare MUST be enrolled in the program. So I have them fill out the enrollment form the moment they hire me and I turn that into the food program.

When a parent tells me they want to hire me, I make them sit right here with me and fill out the contract, pay for their 1st week, and fill out the food program enrollment form. So, from now on, you might want to make the parents fill out all the required forms that they can at your home and give it to you immediately as soon as they tell you they want to hire you.

As far as your letter, my opinion is that you break your list up to one or two things at a time to give to the parents every couple of weeks/maybe once a month. Your current letter has way too many problems that need to be fixed at the same time. So, if your main concerns are the food program paperwork and them being wild at pick up time, maybe just address those two issues at this time. But I'd keep it kind of short, not too wordy. Something like; Some parents haven't turned their food program forms in yet. I am unable to claim your child on the program until they receive your form. I am sending home a second form to everyone. If you haven't returned yours, please fill this one out and return it to me by this Friday so I can mail it for you. If I do not receive a form from you by Friday, I will have to raise your weekly rate to include the amount that I would be receiving from the food program.

You might want to wait til Monday to tell them that since you didn't receive their form Friday, you will have to raise their rate to include the food program amount.


And for the running around, something like; The children have been a bit overexcited when parents come for pick-up time. So, instead of having free play until parents arrive, we are going to start cleaning up 20 minutes before the end of the day and watch an educational television show while waiting for the parents.

I would give each parent a new food program form to fill out in case they lost theirs.

Honestly, I would just verbally tell my parents that I'm going to have them clean up and watch tv before pick up time. I wouldn't even write that in a letter to them.

I also noticed that you have the parents put the kids shoes and coats on. Maybe you can have the children's shoes on for them before the parents arrive. I assume that you have them all keep their shoes off all day to keep your daycare room cleaner. But, if it is causing trouble at pick up time, and making the parents have to be there longer, you might want to put their shoes on for them. Instead of letting them play at pick up time, you could put their shoes on them then let them watch an educational tv show while waiting for parents. Then the kids that are not being picked up might stay interested in the show and stay seated instead of running around the house. Or, it sounds like there are two of you running the daycare, maybe one of you can keep the other children occupied with a game/activity while the other one of you helps the parent at the door by getting their child's shoes on and staying right with them to keep their child from running around. You could have the children sit at a table with manipulatives such as a puzzle, stringing beads, sorting bears, a handfull of blocks, etc. while waiting for the parents.
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  #32  
Old 10-21-2011, 12:19 PM
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I would send it home with the pick up rules/problems part and food program part but that would be it (Leave the rest out). I'd also include a new form and stamped envelope for each parent.

I just send out my pick up problem letter a few days ago (I had posted it here) and yesterday all three families were out my door in 5 minutes. It was great. Normally it would be 15-20minutes.
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  #33  
Old 10-21-2011, 12:37 PM
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I am so stressed out, and tired of picking up all the slack here, while they drop the ball at home, so I am laying it all out there for them. Things have to change or I will start weeding out kids and families! I have an entire new set of kids on my waiting list, so no problem filling spots. I know many of you would say that it is too personal, but you know what, they want me to care for their children, they are going to see things from my side and how it is affecting me as a person. Here is the letter:

You need to figure out these issues.......don't send that letter. They don't need to see things from your side. They don't care about your personal issues. They care that you love, and keep their child safe while they can't. I think you need to have a sit down with your helper and decide who is going to do what and when.

Food program, have them fill it out in front of you, then you send them all in.
Clean up before leaving......20 minutes is a good time, and don't expect it to stay that way but don't expect them to trash it either. Teach and redirect to slow down activities

Have them ready to go, you have an idea of who is being picked up when. Five minutes before........great for your helper to do.

Personal issues address with the parent over a telephone conversation. Don't blame, just try to resolve. I don't like that so and so is hitting when its time to go, what can we do to resolve this issue?

When the child is with parent........its their time. What they do and how they do it is not your concern. Just have consistency in your time. kids thrive on it....they don't want to sleep, they don't........but it is quiet time. Face it sometimes we don't get breaks as providers, not the parents issue.

Give yourself a break.....no need to burn out when you seem to have a true love for what you do. Just think of days like those as little hick up moments and reward yourself with Closing time and the fact that you make a difference even if it's small in the kids lives. New kids will only bring on a new set of problems..........deal with what you have......but you deal with it and alter your program to work. Good Luck. I feel for you, we have all had days like your having, or weeks or months.....etc....

Last edited by Michael; 10-21-2011 at 12:59 PM.
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  #34  
Old 10-21-2011, 01:00 PM
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I would not give that to the parents. You have stated a problem with almost every aspect of a typical daycare day. Which shows me that you have no control over the children, and are not able to get the required paperwork completed by your adult clients. Basically, like someone mentioned already, sounds like you have no control over your business at all.

I do, however understand that you probably have been trying in a nice way for a while to get the children and parents to do what you need them to do and by now are fed up and ready to explode. So you made a list of EVERYTHING that they are doing wrong.

I'm a little confused with your food program form. Maybe it is different for each state. But in my state, Maryland, EVERY child that attends my daycare MUST be enrolled in the program. So I have them fill out the enrollment form the moment they hire me and I turn that into the food program.

When a parent tells me they want to hire me, I make them sit right here with me and fill out the contract, pay for their 1st week, and fill out the food program enrollment form. So, from now on, you might want to make the parents fill out all the required forms that they can at your home and give it to you immediately as soon as they tell you they want to hire you.

As far as your letter, my opinion is that you break your list up to one or two things at a time to give to the parents every couple of weeks/maybe once a month. Your current letter has way too many problems that need to be fixed at the same time. So, if your main concerns are the food program paperwork and them being wild at pick up time, maybe just address those two issues at this time. But I'd keep it kind of short, not too wordy. Something like; Some parents haven't turned their food program forms in yet. I am unable to claim your child on the program until they receive your form. I am sending home a second form to everyone. If you haven't returned yours, please fill this one out and return it to me by this Friday so I can mail it for you. If I do not receive a form from you by Friday, I will have to raise your weekly rate to include the amount that I would be receiving from the food program.

You might want to wait til Monday to tell them that since you didn't receive their form Friday, you will have to raise their rate to include the food program amount.


And for the running around, something like; The children have been a bit overexcited when parents come for pick-up time. So, instead of having free play until parents arrive, we are going to start cleaning up 20 minutes before the end of the day and watch an educational television show while waiting for the parents.

I would give each parent a new food program form to fill out in case they lost theirs.

Honestly, I would just verbally tell my parents that I'm going to have them clean up and watch tv before pick up time. I wouldn't even write that in a letter to them.

I also noticed that you have the parents put the kids shoes and coats on. Maybe you can have the children's shoes on for them before the parents arrive. I assume that you have them all keep their shoes off all day to keep your daycare room cleaner. But, if it is causing trouble at pick up time, and making the parents have to be there longer, you might want to put their shoes on for them. Instead of letting them play at pick up time, you could put their shoes on them then let them watch an educational tv show while waiting for parents. Then the kids that are not being picked up might stay interested in the show and stay seated instead of running around the house. Or, it sounds like there are two of you running the daycare, maybe one of you can keep the other children occupied with a game/activity while the other one of you helps the parent at the door by getting their child's shoes on and staying right with them to keep their child from running around. You could have the children sit at a table with manipulatives such as a puzzle, stringing beads, sorting bears, a handfull of blocks, etc. while waiting for the parents.
I am going to finish the rest of your post, but wanted to reply to a part of it quickly before I forget. They are all enrolled, but the part that wasn't turned in is the income sheet to see if they would qualify for the higher reimbursement. Which most of them did qualify, but when the new paperwork for the year came in, only 2 of the families sent it in, and they weren't my low income families. So I have at least 4 other families who would be qualified for the low income and I would be reimbursed MUCh better, it would over double what i am getting back. THAT is why I was upset about that part.
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Old 10-21-2011, 01:11 PM
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While I agree with the points that you make in your letter, you need to read it again and rewrite it and take some of the emotional charge out of it. Also, you'll need to make it shorter if you want it to be read by the parents.

I think that you'll get better results that way.
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Old 10-21-2011, 01:40 PM
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No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

I am just wondering, about the running upstairs, are they gated or is your daycare in a basement. At the pick up time I only leave so many toys out, and the last hour of the day kids shoes are on and they are ready. During nap time I separate them because they will keep each other up. The worst one goes in a pnp or separate room.

I don't know your setup, but maybe you can do some changes. I agree parenting has gone out the window, its terrible what we see.
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  #37  
Old 10-21-2011, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

I am just wondering, about the running upstairs, are they gated or is your daycare in a basement. At the pick up time I only leave so many toys out, and the last hour of the day kids shoes are on and they are ready. During nap time I separate them because they will keep each other up. The worst one goes in a pnp or separate room.

I don't know your setup, but maybe you can do some changes. I agree parenting has gone out the window, its terrible what we see.
A lot of my upstairs when the toddler/baby area is is hardwood. The kids don't wear shoes in the house, so they were constantly rounding the corners in the loop from my living room (which is carpeted), to my entry way, kitchen, and dining room (which are all hardwood). Someone ALWAYS biffed it running around the corner, so I made the No Running rule. I have them all gated into the living room area (which is huge) and don't allow them out unless we bring them out. But my screamers HATE the gates. Even though their area is huge, they hate being gated in. They FREAK. If I had them gated in the other side they would want back in the living room. A nightmare I tell you!

My basement is where the big kids can play (4 and up. I have video monitors set up so I can see everything. But I don't have any that old right now, so it only gets used by my own kids).
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  #38  
Old 10-21-2011, 08:54 PM
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Oh my!

Dear Parents,

I need a vacation so I'm off to visit Mickey. See you in 2 weeks!


Honey, you need a break.

Sorry you are dealing with all of this. It sounds like a nightmare.

I would sit on that letter a few days and really think hard about sending it. Perhaps prioritize the most important things and strive for 1-3 that are on your list.

They will Never read the whole thing I can almost guarantee it. It's too much all at once.

Sigh.. not sure what else to say.
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  #39  
Old 10-21-2011, 10:30 PM
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I am going to finish the rest of your post, but wanted to reply to a part of it quickly before I forget. They are all enrolled, but the part that wasn't turned in is the income sheet to see if they would qualify for the higher reimbursement. Which most of them did qualify, but when the new paperwork for the year came in, only 2 of the families sent it in, and they weren't my low income families. So I have at least 4 other families who would be qualified for the low income and I would be reimbursed MUCh better, it would over double what i am getting back. THAT is why I was upset about that part.
I wonder in this situation if you could give them the paperwork to fill out along with an envelope addressed to your food program sponsor, but have them return the sealed envelope to you to mail so that you know they filled them out but can't see their information?

I confess I don't know much about that aspect as I've never done it - just throwing ideas out there .
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Old 10-22-2011, 06:03 AM
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I am going to finish the rest of your post, but wanted to reply to a part of it quickly before I forget. They are all enrolled, but the part that wasn't turned in is the income sheet to see if they would qualify for the higher reimbursement. Which most of them did qualify, but when the new paperwork for the year came in, only 2 of the families sent it in, and they weren't my low income families. So I have at least 4 other families who would be qualified for the low income and I would be reimbursed MUCh better, it would over double what i am getting back. THAT is why I was upset about that part.
Ok, I see now. Still have them fill it out and put in a envelope right in front of you. This way you know they have done it. Explain I have a dead line and so could you please take a minute to fill this out before you leave today. Or- hand them the paperwork and ask that it come back at pick up or they will have to fill it out at pick up. No excuses.

With that said.........be ready to handle the battles of the kids acting up while the parent is there. Take something out for them to do those last few minutes. A movie that will attract them, play dough....that you will clean up when they leave, anything that will keep them occupied while the parent is there and fills out your form. Expect this.......and use your helper to the fullest here.

Worth a try...
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  #41  
Old 10-22-2011, 09:05 AM
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Parents won't read it...or if they do they will turn every problem around on what YOU'RE doing wrong. Believe me, I've dealt with hundreds of families over the years and when their parenting skills are being criticized they turn the blame on something else. I've found that it works best to tell the parents "these are the problems I am having here and here are the things I AM TRYING TO DO to change them", a lot of times the parents will jump on board because they want to work as a team with you. If they feel like you are shaking your finger at them they will rebuttle (not sure if I spelled that right :P).
I was once on the other side of this when I put my DD in gymnastics. The teacher was a college student with no authority in her voice or her plans. When the kids just wanted to run around and play she had a meeting with the parents telling US that we don't discipline our children enough and that is why they act up in class. Needless to say my husband and I rolled our eyes and pulled her out. Sent her to another more experienced instructor and she did great..
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  #42  
Old 11-17-2011, 07:02 PM
emays
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Default I love this letter!!!!

I know this was a old post, but this letter just made my DAY!!! It say's everything that I want to say to my Families!

God Bless You....
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  #43  
Old 11-18-2011, 08:31 AM
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wahmof3 wahmof3 is offline
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Default great advice

You know what I love about this forum---- THE GREAT ADVICE!!

Everyone has some great advice here & I think if the OP reads all of these posts & puts it all together the OP will be very successful in taking back control even without a letter!

Even though I have often felt the same way as the OP, I wouldn't send the letter. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't find a solution! The food program forms do need to be addressed- I do like handing them a new form with a stamped envelope.

I had a great deal of chaos not too long ago & I sent out my monthly newsletter with a copy of my revised PHB. I did lose a family because of it, but it was a family that I had been really struggling with anyway. I kept it very, very professional. Since I took control back- I feel so much better-- a lot less stress!!!!

Good-luck, nobody said daycare would be easy, funny thing is- its usually not the kids its the parents lol.
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  #44  
Old 11-18-2011, 08:59 AM
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sahm2three sahm2three is offline
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Originally Posted by emays View Post
I know this was a old post, but this letter just made my DAY!!! It say's everything that I want to say to my Families!

God Bless You....
Thank you! I NEEDED to write the letter, even though I didn't actually send it out. It helped me get my feelings on paper. Then I could LOOK at the problems and formulate some solutions. I am trying to tackle them one at a time, with our without help from the parents! Thanks again!
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  #45  
Old 11-18-2011, 09:04 AM
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Abigail Abigail is offline
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I know this is a few weeks old and I just read it. What did you end up doing? If I read this earlier I would say Don't Send It! It probably felt GREAT to write it down and get it all out though!!!

Here is a simple solution:
A. Make a bulleted list of all the things that bother you.
B. Create a post and we'll break it down one-by-one.
C. Discuss 1-2 topics per week with a priority.

I'm on the food program, but it's my first year so I'm making everyone fill it out while they fill out the standard paperwork. Whenever I need to renew all the paperwork, once again, they will be sitting in my home doing it for 5 minutes and I will mail it in. It's my responsibility so I will make sure I am covered. Also, did you receive a letter from your food program? If it's appropriate, I would make a copy to show the parents and ask that everyone again fill out the form while in your home unless you're sure they did it. Never let things that affect you directly go home. Have you been to everyone's homes? LOL, it's best to be kept under your supervision.

HUGS, hope you're feeling better. I also agree, if you feel like you're putting up with a lot and want to "weed out" parents, you should do a general review of your rates if you haven't raised them in awhile see if you should. You could in January, or just add to your contract that you require a supplies fee due every January of $XX per child for the year. This is better than raising rates around holidays.
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  #46  
Old 11-18-2011, 09:38 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I DO run the show. But I also have 10 other kids here that need my care, and when the parent shows up, THEY should take responsibility for THEIR child.
They won't.

They are showing you they won't.

They will never choose you or the other kids over themselves.

Their line of thinking is:

Parent first
Their own child second
You

You must choose YOU first.

If you send that letter you will have a couple of cloudy days where you see the parents making the gestures towards complying with you. Once they realize they are on the loosing end of that and their kid doesn't like it then they will believe that the rules you put forward will be great for the other kids in your care but an exception MUST be made for them first and their child second.

Within a week you will be right where you are today.
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  #47  
Old 11-18-2011, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
They won't.

They are showing you they won't.

They will never choose you or the other kids over themselves.

Their line of thinking is:

Parent first
Their own child second
You

You must choose YOU first.

If you send that letter you will have a couple of cloudy days where you see the parents making the gestures towards complying with you. Once they realize they are on the loosing end of that and their kid doesn't like it then they will believe that the rules you put forward will be great for the other kids in your care but an exception MUST be made for them first and their child second.

Within a week you will be right where you are today.
Nannyde is right!

They will do whatever they want when at their own home. You can not tell a parent how to parent their child.

You should definitely talk to them, but nothing in writing unless it's your phb or contract.

Maybe you need to get rid of some families and lighten your load?

Let us know what you decide and how the parents react.
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  #48  
Old 11-18-2011, 01:04 PM
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caring4kidsinSD caring4kidsinSD is offline
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Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care View Post
Oh my!

Dear Parents,

I need a vacation so I'm off to visit Mickey. See you in 2 weeks!


.
Don't we all I'm all for that idea!!
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