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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Dark Side of Early Childhood Education
Unregistered 11:36 AM 01-26-2020
After this job I will not be coming back to this field. I am curently an assistant teacher and the amount of mild abuse i've witnessed in bad and good centers is terrible. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of the lack of patience and kindness teachers are showing. I'm done. I'm tired of no one sticking up for the kids and people just ignoring it. I'm tired of being the only one to report it I'm done. I'm tired of directors ignoring shit because this is a business and they don't wanna give the center a bad name. I'm done.

I try to google things like this but nothing pops up . Why is no one talking about the dark side of this profession? More often than not people ignore the abuse and neglect because they're too scared to report or the director doesn't wanna give the place a bad name. Or they don't believe the new girl over a teacher who's been with them for 20 years. Idk. I'm sick of it. I will never send my child to school under the age of 5. **** this shit. it's so hard to find good teachers and I seem to always get placed in the rooms with the bad eggs.
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Ariana 02:10 PM 01-26-2020
Anyone who has ever worked with children in centre based care would never send their kid to centre based care. I have worked in many centres and there was only one centre where the teachers were amazing and treated the kids with respect and love.

Low wages and burn out are realities of ECEís today and no one cares! Why? Because people need to work and the people writing the news articles about this kind of stuff are parents with kids in daycare that do not want to face the truth.
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CenterTeacher20 03:15 PM 01-26-2020
I direct a center and love it. Our kids area amazing and I dont think I could ever do childcare anywhere else. That being said, I run a very small center that is one large room separated into 3 rooms- 30 child max and we only have 22 total with three teachers (myself-director and infant teacher, our toddler teacher, and our preschool teacher who is also the owner) ... so it is probably a lot closer to home care than center care. I guess I think maybe we are an exception....
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CenterTeacher20 03:16 PM 01-26-2020
Sorry for some reason I dont know how to quote reply- my last response was responding to Ariana about sending kids to center based care.
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Blackcat31 04:44 PM 01-26-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
After this job I will not be coming back to this field. I am curently an assistant teacher and the amount of mild abuse i've witnessed in bad and good centers is terrible. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of the lack of patience and kindness teachers are showing. I'm done. I'm tired of no one sticking up for the kids and people just ignoring it. I'm tired of being the only one to report it I'm done. I'm tired of directors ignoring shit because this is a business and they don't wanna give the center a bad name. I'm done.

I try to google things like this but nothing pops up . Why is no one talking about the dark side of this profession? More often than not people ignore the abuse and neglect because they're too scared to report or the director doesn't wanna give the place a bad name. Or they don't believe the new girl over a teacher who's been with them for 20 years. Idk. I'm sick of it. I will never send my child to school under the age of 5. **** this shit. it's so hard to find good teachers and I seem to always get placed in the rooms with the bad eggs.
Thereís a whole site similar to this

http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/

Iíve seen others but this one is the most popular
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rosieteddy 06:59 PM 01-26-2020
There is good and bad everywhere.I worked at a center and ran my own family child care almost 30 yrs.Some teachers are better than others ,some days are better than others.Each parent needs to find good care or work on staying home.Reality is each person can make a difference in a childs life.I hope that I gave the 60 plus children a loving space to grow . It may not be the job for you do what you think you should do.
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Josiegirl 02:47 AM 01-27-2020
It's so sad to hear you say these things. I keep thinking there has to be good places out there, more than we think there are. Child care is such a 'fine line' type of business; what some see as 'mild abuse' others may see as tough love. I mean, there is definitely a line where you just cannot allow certain things to happen, you just can't. And then there's emotional abuse but that, I believe, even has a finer line with it.
I've never gone into centers and for that matter can't remember checking out daycares either. But dcms(mostly) who had jobs involving dc visits, would repeatedly tell me there were only a couple in town they'd trust, 1 being me. And I know when I closed, my dcps who were searching for care would come back and tell me all the things they didn't like about places they had visited. One of my dcms ended up opening her own dc and she had the same thing happen; people would come to her and say she was the only 1 they'd trust. I guess that's why she filled up so fast.

Our state, according to the newspaper, needs about 78% more dcs to fulfill the state's dc needs.

I can see both sides to this story. Providers are overworked, disrespected, exhausted, underpaid, and expected to be all-do all as fill-ins for the parents. It's exhausting work. Burn-out is high. And instead of being there to support providers, states are only making them jump through more hoops. I always thought there was no way I could ever be a teacher because of everything that was expected of them, plus all the different demands/needs/wants of everybody involved with their profession. But I now see childcare as the same, with high expectations coming from every corner of the profession. It's not a 40 hr.(and even 50 hr.) a week job.
Saying all of that doesn't excuse bad behavior towards children. BUT when you don't have the support, the trust, the needed breaks, the compassion and understanding of peers/bosses, etc., I can see how easy it is to do. You read about parents' exhaustion dealing with a child for a couple of hours. Multiple that by 6(or MORE) for 10 hrs. a day(or MORE!) and what have you got? An explosive situation.
My former food program sponsor ran her own dc for many years, then she went to work for a smaller center, tried speaking up to the director and her co-workers due to a lot of issues(complained to the state a lot), got nowhere at all. She lasted a couple months and that's when she took the food program job.

It's really sad. The state has been no help by taking away the support of its' providers(they literally called some of it hand-holding) and adding reg upon reg for legal ones to follow.
I also don't understand why preschools(in school situations) require 3-4 yos to attend full days. I guess it's all about state funding and money. I saw a former dcm last week and she said the school recommended her dd begin FT preschool in Sept. when she'll be just barely 4. This child will be totally lost within the system. I sooo wanted to tell her she doesn't have to enroll her! They won't do PT preschool. When my own kids were little, preschool was perfect, they'd go 2-3 mornings a week for a couple hours each; there were 2 teachers in a church. Now??? And we wonder why so many children are in need of special services and have so many emotional problems.

JMO everybody so please don't jump on me. But it makes me incredibly sad the way our little ones are being shoved out of bonding relationships into large chaotic groups of others where they cannot possibly be loved and cared for as much as they need.
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Cat Herder 03:40 AM 01-27-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
There’s a whole site similar to this

http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/

I’ve seen others but this one is the most popular
I literally logged in to post this site.

We can learn a lot from it. As someone who used to investigate in-house issues, it isn't uncommon.
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Ariana 04:54 AM 01-27-2020
Originally Posted by Jociheart:
Sorry for some reason I dont know how to quote reply- my last response was responding to Ariana about sending kids to center based care.
Yes there are always good centres and good teachers. I was lucky enough to work in one for a few years and the kids and parents had no idea how lucky they were!! I had to report abuse in one centre during my field placement and had to stand up to a bunch of teachers in another centre. Even centres where out and out abuse wasnít going on there were sarcastic comments, ignoring, talking about a child negatively in front of them etc.
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Snowmom 06:39 AM 01-27-2020
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
It's so sad to hear you say these things. I keep thinking there has to be good places out there, more than we think there are. Child care is such a 'fine line' type of business; what some see as 'mild abuse' others may see as tough love. I mean, there is definitely a line where you just cannot allow certain things to happen, you just can't. And then there's emotional abuse but that, I believe, even has a finer line with it.
I've never gone into centers and for that matter can't remember checking out daycares either. But dcms(mostly) who had jobs involving dc visits, would repeatedly tell me there were only a couple in town they'd trust, 1 being me. And I know when I closed, my dcps who were searching for care would come back and tell me all the things they didn't like about places they had visited. One of my dcms ended up opening her own dc and she had the same thing happen; people would come to her and say she was the only 1 they'd trust. I guess that's why she filled up so fast.

Our state, according to the newspaper, needs about 78% more dcs to fulfill the state's dc needs.

I can see both sides to this story. Providers are overworked, disrespected, exhausted, underpaid, and expected to be all-do all as fill-ins for the parents. It's exhausting work. Burn-out is high. And instead of being there to support providers, states are only making them jump through more hoops. I always thought there was no way I could ever be a teacher because of everything that was expected of them, plus all the different demands/needs/wants of everybody involved with their profession. But I now see childcare as the same, with high expectations coming from every corner of the profession. It's not a 40 hr.(and even 50 hr.) a week job.
Saying all of that doesn't excuse bad behavior towards children. BUT when you don't have the support, the trust, the needed breaks, the compassion and understanding of peers/bosses, etc., I can see how easy it is to do. You read about parents' exhaustion dealing with a child for a couple of hours. Multiple that by 6(or MORE) for 10 hrs. a day(or MORE!) and what have you got? An explosive situation.
My former food program sponsor ran her own dc for many years, then she went to work for a smaller center, tried speaking up to the director and her co-workers due to a lot of issues(complained to the state a lot), got nowhere at all. She lasted a couple months and that's when she took the food program job.

It's really sad. The state has been no help by taking away the support of its' providers(they literally called some of it hand-holding) and adding reg upon reg for legal ones to follow.
I also don't understand why preschools(in school situations) require 3-4 yos to attend full days. I guess it's all about state funding and money. I saw a former dcm last week and she said the school recommended her dd begin FT preschool in Sept. when she'll be just barely 4. This child will be totally lost within the system. I sooo wanted to tell her she doesn't have to enroll her! They won't do PT preschool. When my own kids were little, preschool was perfect, they'd go 2-3 mornings a week for a couple hours each; there were 2 teachers in a church. Now??? And we wonder why so many children are in need of special services and have so many emotional problems.

JMO everybody so please don't jump on me. But it makes me incredibly sad the way our little ones are being shoved out of bonding relationships into large chaotic groups of others where they cannot possibly be loved and cared for as much as they need.

Every word is true in my eyes!

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Unregistered 09:12 AM 01-27-2020
This is SO TRUE, every word. I quit two places for this reason. Most just ignore this type abuse too I agree. Definitely the too-frequent emotional abuse is ignored.

One place I had to go over the director's head and let parents know what was going on with a new hire who was incredibly inappropriate. Obviously that didnt go over well. One of my coworkers had similar concerns about this hire and we spoke about it but she backed out in the end, and tried to rug sweep all the concerns like it would all be ok because we all work together. Which is such bs, we all know we are sometimes alone with the kids depending on ratios etc. It was so unfortunate because she was the one person I think the director MIGHT have listened to. (They were good friends.)

The other place was in an home and the director was so harsh with the kids. She would frequently make kids cry and berate them over totally developmentally appropriate things lie a two year old slow at putting on his jacket, or the rare potty accident. It was so awful. The parents adored her because she had been in it forever and had a strong personality that demanded respect, but her heart for kids was so small.
This is why I hope wouldnt ever have to put my own kids in any daycare.
I think people are cowards , plus, we are not afforded any respect or very minimal respect so know our words carry little weight. Patents also quite often do NOT want to hear anything negative. It's a shoot the messenger type situation.
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Msdunny 10:48 AM 01-27-2020
When I was in college getting my child psychology degree (YEARS ago) I worked in a daycare part-time, thinking it would be a bonus to the degree I was seeking. Instead, what I saw there convinced me I would do everything in my power to never have to send my own children to a daycare center. It was really bad, and I didn't stay long.

The upside to this is that, in order to stay hime with my kids, I started offering in-home childcare. So, for at least a few kids, I know they are being loved and genuinely cared for while their parents have to be at work. I still cringe when I pass that old center, though. The director/owner's daughter eventually took over and I can only hope it is a better place.
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racemom 04:48 PM 01-27-2020
Like anything else, there are good and bad centers. I am lucky to work in a good center, we work on social and emotional needs of the children all the time. But not all teachers are good at working with children. The reason why directors don't fire someone who is not a great teacher, is lack of available staff. Sometimes, sadly it comes down to having a bad teacher as opposed to no teacher.

I think the biggest reason it is hard to hire staff is low wages and little or no benefits, when you can get a job with no responsibility with starting pay equivalent and some benefits it is not easy to attract people to daycare.

Working 8 to 10 hours a day with infants or toddlers is draining, and then having to attend training and meetings nights or weekends on top of it makes for a lot of commitment and little financial reward. The joy of seeing them grow and learn is worth it to me, but I have a husband that can financially support us and his job offers health, dental and retirement.
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Unregistered 04:57 PM 01-27-2020
Originally Posted by Jociheart:
I direct a center and love it. Our kids area amazing and I dont think I could ever do childcare anywhere else. That being said, I run a very small center that is one large room separated into 3 rooms- 30 child max and we only have 22 total with three teachers (myself-director and infant teacher, our toddler teacher, and our preschool teacher who is also the owner) ... so it is probably a lot closer to home care than center care. I guess I think maybe we are an exception....
I agree with this! I also worked at a smaller center. 4 class rooms, two infant teachers, 2 toddler teachers, 2 twos teachers, and a preschool teacher plus a wonderful director. Everyone worked together and got along. The kids had rotten days, but the teachers would work together to solve any issues. licence for 50, usually had about 50. In fact, the director just bought the center in Aug. I loved it so much, Im going back!
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Ariana 05:24 AM 01-28-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I agree with this! I also worked at a smaller center. 4 class rooms, two infant teachers, 2 toddler teachers, 2 twos teachers, and a preschool teacher plus a wonderful director. Everyone worked together and got along. The kids had rotten days, but the teachers would work together to solve any issues. licence for 50, usually had about 50. In fact, the director just bought the center in Aug. I loved it so much, Im going back!
In my opinion a good director makes a good centre. In every terrible centre I have been in, the director was terrible. Like any workplace they have the power to make or break moral and team spirit.
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Cat Herder 06:01 AM 01-28-2020
Originally Posted by Ariana:
In my opinion a good director makes a good centre. In every terrible centre I have been in, the director was terrible. Like any workplace they have the power to make or break moral and team spirit.
Completely agree. Some seem to revert back to their "mean girls" routine from junior high and stay there for their entire lives. It is a workplace full of mostly women and sadly many seem to enjoy tearing each other down instead of building each other up. Human nature, I suppose. Setting a great example for women's equal pay and equal respect issues.
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Ariana 07:22 AM 01-28-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Completely agree. Some seem to revert back to their "mean girls" routine from junior high and stay there for their entire lives. It is a workplace full of mostly women and sadly many seem to enjoy tearing each other down instead of building each other up. Human nature, I suppose. Setting a great example for women's equal pay and equal respect issues.
YES! So glad to be out of that toxic environment.
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flying_babyb 05:07 PM 01-28-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Completely agree. Some seem to revert back to their "mean girls" routine from junior high and stay there for their entire lives. It is a workplace full of mostly women and sadly many seem to enjoy tearing each other down instead of building each other up. Human nature, I suppose. Setting a great example for women's equal pay and equal respect issues.
THIS is the director at the center I work at. She expects 1 year olds to stay 4 kids in an area and the teachers to keep them there. She also expects us to feed 4 kids at a time, "its not devlopmentally approprate for the kids to eat at the same time. infants and toddlers are on there own scedual>." so everyday we have 4 kids eating and 4 screaming at the top of there lungs cause there hungry.
she constantally yells. As soon as we see her porshe pull up, the teachers all start announcing Code red has arrived.
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Cat Herder 06:30 AM 01-29-2020
Originally Posted by flying_babyb:
As soon as we see her porshe pull up, the teachers all start announcing Code red has arrived.
I had one of those, too back in the day. She drove a new Eddie Bauer Bronco (aging myself, here) and loved to ride everyone's...... while she painted her nails, doused herself in her bath and body works peach spray and left mid-day three days a week to go tanning. She looked like an Oompa-Loompa and a California Raisin had a kid dressed like Fran Drescher in "The Nanny" but constantly told us how frumpy and mousy we looked in our required khakis and matching butter-yellow blouses. Ah, the good old days.
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Snowmom 06:45 AM 01-29-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I had one of those, too back in the day. She drove a new Eddie Bauer Bronco (aging myself, here) and loved to ride everyone's...... while she painted her nails, doused herself in her bath and body works peach spray and left mid-day three days a week to go tanning. She looked like an Oompa-Loompa and a California Raisin had a kid dressed like Fran Drescher in "The Nanny" but constantly told us how frumpy and mousy we looked in our required khakis and matching butter-yellow blouses. Ah, the good old days.

OMG, the visual I'm getting is stunning.
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Cat Herder 06:51 AM 01-29-2020
Originally Posted by Snowmom:

OMG, the visual I'm getting is stunning.
I still can't tolerate the smell of peach cobbler to this day.
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flying_babyb 05:10 PM 01-29-2020
Originally Posted by Snowmom:

OMG, the visual I'm getting is stunning.
ours wears slutty tight tops (shes a BIG gal) with designer jackets and shoes. Then we ask for supplies (soy milk, diapers, changing paper) and were told we have to wait till easter seals approves it, cause she aint paying. We also waited 4 months for her to repair the BULLET holes in the window cause it was too expensive.
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Unregistered 12:58 AM 01-30-2020
I totally agree with a lot of these post. Childcare center is very demanding and very stressful with teachers that are under paid and over worked. This field is a lot to deal with- I think more training and people that have the love for children should be the ones that work with children. The field is not for everyone. But I have experience some of the same things that was stated earlier in a post - u go to the boss but you still get no results. It is sad. I run a family Childcare in my home - each day bring along something different. But I have a deep love for children and more time than often - it still becomes stressful.
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Unregistered 06:19 AM 01-30-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I totally agree with a lot of these post. Childcare center is very demanding and very stressful with teachers that are under paid and over worked. This field is a lot to deal with- I think more training and people that have the love for children should be the ones that work with children. The field is not for everyone. But I have experience some of the same things that was stated earlier in a post - u go to the boss but you still get no results. It is sad. I run a family Childcare in my home - each day bring along something different. But I have a deep love for children and more time than often - it still becomes stressful.

Wow, so glad I have recently retired from doing daycare for 37 yrs! I had done daycare in my home for 37 yrs and only took on 2 children at a time so that I could really give them the love & care that they deserved and needed at the toddler age. It is a very stressful job where your underpaid and much of the time dont feel appreciated. I don't think I could have worked in a center for that exact reason of the directors being like that,that's not right for the employee and the kids.
What has happened in this society that there is such a lack of respect for employees and children. Children are our future and we need to show them at even the young age that they matter and are shown thru their daycare yrs respect and how to act when they are adults.
Centers need to be run better and hire directors that really put the kids and employees first.
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Tags:center - bad environment, daycare - experience
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