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Parents and Guardians Forum>Fired For Reporting Abuse To Director
Unregistered 03:24 PM 04-13-2011
My daughter reported that staff member were having children beat up other children and watching. My daughter had words with the staff member. She left the room and tried to get director 4 times. When coming back to room it was happening again . Both times different children said staff member told him to do it to one child. Multiple staff member watched but they were young and afraiid of one staff member who is a bully. My daughter finally able to get director to listen. Director says kids lie. My daughter said She came back in room and staff watching. That was on a Friday. Monday back to work finds out staff member not fired. She tells her co workers what happened. That afternoon I go in with my daughter to talk to Director. The director say that she knows mother of staf member that she wouldn't lie and do that. I said after 2 1/2 years nd numerous letters saying what a great job She was doing your saying that about her. I told her She was quitting because She wold not be be some where where She could beheld liable. I gave 30 days notice . But we rescended it my daughter felt she needed to be there to protect kids.

So on Tuesday at work She was harassed Called out Wednesday throwing up so upset over situation. Director went out and told staff daughter lied to her about situation. We found out on facebook the staff have been talking about video taping babies they are tripping and passing ard. When called Director today Director says since Shes quitting no need to come back I said We rescinded that was She firing her and She said yes.
I am so angry I want to have words with all staff that have harassed my daughter and a few choice words with director. My daughter said She has never seen me so angry.
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missnikki 04:22 PM 04-13-2011
"I am so angry I want to have words with all staff that have harassed my daughter and a few choice words with director. "

If your daughter is old enough to hold a job, she is old enough to pick her own fights. Please stay out of the battle ring, and help her by listening and giving advice.

Trust me, your choice words might not help. Trust me.
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Crystal 04:22 PM 04-13-2011
Seriously? YOU went in and quit FOR your daughter? First of all, you should have not gone there....it was your daughter's job, not yours. Secondly, I have never heard of anyone RESCINDING their QUIT, so I am not surprised the Director said not to come back.

If all else is true, call licensing and report the abuse, but say good bye to the job.
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youretooloud 08:53 PM 04-13-2011
Are you sure they are doing that to the kids? What kind of center is this?

I'm slightly ignorant to these things, but I'd have a hard time believing the whole story... only because I can't imagine adults bullying kids. I hope that if this is true, these adults are brought to justice. I would be sick to my stomach watching that.

If your daughter is employed there. (or anywhere) I think she's old enough to step in for the kids being bullied. Maybe she needs more training, or some role playing... but, she should step in at the time it's happening.. not just go down to the director, but actually put a stop to the bullying.
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jen 06:34 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Seriously? YOU went in and quit FOR your daughter? First of all, you should have not gone there....it was your daughter's job, not yours. Secondly, I have never heard of anyone RESCINDING their QUIT, so I am not surprised the Director said not to come back.
I think its important to recognize that we have no idea what cultural perspective this poster is reacting from. Yes, in American culture, stepping in for a young adult child would be considered "wrong." Not so much in other cultures that are more collectivist than individualist.

I'm surprised Crystal, given your education, that you don't have a wider cultural perspective.

OP...I don't know much about your background, so I will refrain from making judgements. I am sure that you had your daughters and the children's best interests at heart.

Your daughter did the right thing by approaching the Director. When that failed, the more appropriate next step would have been to contact licensing or Children's Services.
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Crystal 10:17 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
I think its important to recognize that we have no idea what cultural perspective this poster is reacting from. Yes, in American culture, stepping in for a young adult child would be considered "wrong." Not so much in other cultures that are more collectivist than individualist.

I'm surprised Crystal, given your education, that you don't have a wider cultural perspective.

OP...I don't know much about your background, so I will refrain from making judgements. I am sure that you had your daughters and the children's best interests at heart.

Your daughter did the right thing by approaching the Director. When that failed, the more appropriate next step would have been to contact licensing or Children's Services.
REALLY?????

I have plenty of "cultural perspective" BUT, cultural or not it is never appropriate for a parent to go to their child's place of employment and speak for them.....unless she's 15 and simply cannot do it for herself.

But, whatever Jen, you seem to take issue with anything and everything I post so I'll just take your comments with a grain of salt. It is funny though, that you called ME out on it but Miss Nikki, who said basically the same thing in different words wasn't "reprimanded" by you..................
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jen 10:26 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
REALLY?????

I have plenty of "cultural perspective" BUT, cultural or not it is never appropriate for a parent to go to their child's place of employment and speak for them.....unless she's 15 and simply cannot do it for herself.

But, whatever Jen, you seem to take issue with anything and everything I post so I'll just take your comments with a grain of salt.
Personally, I thought you were a bit harsh with the OP. It isn't that I take issue with everything you say, it is that I take issue with the way in which you say them. You don't need to be so disrespectful, not to me and not to the poster, who very clearly was merely concerned about the children at her daughters center and her daughters liability.

You do bring up a good point however. We have NO idea how old this person is...she might be not much more than a child herself. A question you could have asked before your "Seriously? YOU went in and quit FOR your daughter?"

As for the cultural perspective, I can think of several cultures where a parent would have a strong, dominent influence over an adolescent or young adult.

In the end, many peole have commented to you on the way you come across in many of your posts. What you choose to do with that, is very clearly up to you.

Oh, I don't think Miss Nikki was condescending or rude about it. I gave essentially the same advice, it's just that we weren't rude.

For the record...in my previous corporate life I was in HR. One of the employees quit and as the HR person, I posted the job. He came back a day or two later and said he didn't want to quit after all. I said too bad, so sad. Guess what? The guy was able to get unemployment because he rescinded his quit...threw me for a loop.
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Unregistered 10:46 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Are you sure they are doing that to the kids? What kind of center is this?

I'm slightly ignorant to these things, but I'd have a hard time believing the whole story... only because I can't imagine adults bullying kids. I hope that if this is true, these adults are brought to justice. I would be sick to my stomach watching that.

If your daughter is employed there. (or anywhere) I think she's old enough to step in for the kids being bullied. Maybe she needs more training, or some role playing... but, she should step in at the time it's happening.. not just go down to the director, but actually put a stop to the bullying.

I'm going to try to generalize my post as much as possible to protect my privacy. To me, it's not hard to believe anymore. I've witnessed some bad stuff over the years. The teachers watched child on child without intervening. The parents were straight out lied to about what happened. In the abuse cases (teacher verus child), I witnessed teachers dangling babies by their arms to pick them up rather than under their arms as is required, physically man handling children, yelling at and name calling the kids in their class, treating certain kids differently than other kids, etc. I figured it was a bad daycare and went somewhere else - what can you say when the same types of things happened at several daycares inside a high end, upper class suburb? I did the good deed and reported this stuff to management and got nowhere. Report them to the state? And then get blacklisted?! This forum has repeatedly said that daycares usually know who reported them and that they report it to the other daycares in town, which is essentially blacklisting. And when I was the only other adult witness, it's my word against theirs and of course the management isn't going to stand up for me.
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Crystal 11:41 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm going to try to generalize my post as much as possible to protect my privacy. To me, it's not hard to believe anymore. I've witnessed some bad stuff over the years. The teachers watched child on child without intervening. The parents were straight out lied to about what happened. In the abuse cases (teacher verus child), I witnessed teachers dangling babies by their arms to pick them up rather than under their arms as is required, physically man handling children, yelling at and name calling the kids in their class, treating certain kids differently than other kids, etc. I figured it was a bad daycare and went somewhere else - what can you say when the same types of things happened at several daycares inside a high end, upper class suburb? I did the good deed and reported this stuff to management and got nowhere. Report them to the state? And then get blacklisted?! This forum has repeatedly said that daycares usually know who reported them and that they report it to the other daycares in town, which is essentially blacklisting. And when I was the only other adult witness, it's my word against theirs and of course the management isn't going to stand up for me.
Curious, are you the original poster?

Regarding reporting them to the state, as a child care provider you are a mandated reporter. You have a legal and ethical obligation to report the abuse you witnessed to the state.....I understand the fear of being "blacklisted" but it is irrelevant. If you fail to report the abuse and (God forbid) something happens to one of the children, you could be held criminally responsible.

All of the things you mentioned in your post are abuse and MUST be reported to the proper authorities. Very scary that it is happening in the first place, even more scary that someone who witnesses it is doing nothing to stop it.
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jen 11:49 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Curious, are you the original poster?

Regarding reporting them to the state, as a child care provider you are a mandated reporter. You have a legal and ethical obligation to report the abuse you witnessed to the state.....I understand the fear of being "blacklisted" but it is irrelevant. If you fail to report the abuse and (God forbid) something happens to one of the children, you could be held criminally responsible.

All of the things you mentioned in your post are abuse and MUST be reported to the proper authorities. Very scary that it is happening in the first place, even more scary that someone who witnesses it is doing nothing to stop it.
I don't think that it is the original poster, the writing style is completely different.
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Crystal 12:10 PM 04-14-2011
I didn't think so either Jen....but wonder if it is actually the daughter of the OP?
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unregistered 01:44 PM 04-14-2011
The reason I went in with her was she was afraid the director can be verbally abusive herself. So I originally went in on my daughters own time so she coud talk to her. We have since reported it to the state. But it is worse then we thought my daughter called recent ex workers and they said alot more. There are now 3 people complaining. Plus We have posts off facebook that back up some stories. Im hoping state works fast. The if factor is gone it is now the when factor on when a child will be hurt seriously. I had to take off work today to drive my daughter to meet with inspector plus 30.00 gas and 6.00 parking for a five minute meeting in a bad neighborhood. My daughter has not witness much because they knew she would not allow this kind of behaviour. The other 2 left the job because they couldn't stand it. She only witnessed the fight incident but heard alot more and read on facebook some.

I'm just hoping He talks to kids soon. But He acted like my daughter was lieing because He talked to director already after my daughter phone call. My daughter offered to take a lie detector test. I have emailed copies of facebook in jpeg orm to him because He said I couldn't get on AOL in his office to get email plus I also had wrong email given to me by the office.
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missnikki 01:50 PM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm going to try to generalize my post as much as possible to protect my privacy. To me, it's not hard to believe anymore. I've witnessed some bad stuff over the years. The teachers watched child on child without intervening. The parents were straight out lied to about what happened. In the abuse cases (teacher verus child), I witnessed teachers dangling babies by their arms to pick them up rather than under their arms as is required, physically man handling children, yelling at and name calling the kids in their class, treating certain kids differently than other kids, etc. I figured it was a bad daycare and went somewhere else - what can you say when the same types of things happened at several daycares inside a high end, upper class suburb? I did the good deed and reported this stuff to management and got nowhere. Report them to the state? And then get blacklisted?! This forum has repeatedly said that daycares usually know who reported them and that they report it to the other daycares in town, which is essentially blacklisting. And when I was the only other adult witness, it's my word against theirs and of course the management isn't going to stand up for me.
Record and report. After a history of injury that has been documented, red flags will waive and your word may become a little more credible once a pattern is identified. They need to know about it to investigate it, though. Don't let a fear of losing your job allow you to stand by and watch these poor kids get treated like that.
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Unregistered 02:15 PM 04-14-2011
Also, I originally went in as a witness. The daycare was my kids family. They celebrated every birthday with dinner out gave each other gifts. My daughterhad no knowledge cuz She hung with older people and worked in am normally with a wonderful staff. The staff in the am is all working mothers and older women. They treat the kids as their own. The younger staff did this when the older women were not there. Also, the director never leaves her office. She is very over weight. But they put her on Friday with young staff in the pm 1 daya week. She actually started crying when she saw a group of kids at another day care. She said she will miss the kids They are her second family. I also raised my daughter differently then other kids. Not allowed to date till 16 and only boys I know or can check on. She doesn't drink or take drugs. Parties had to be supervised. She is an american. But I learned from her brother what not to do. Shes teased alot about the fact that She is going to be a 40 year old virgin. She ison her 2nd year college We even go to school together Im a full time student and work. Her father is disabled and almost died . He is still sick. She had to do internet learning for 2 months of High School Sophmore year because only 1 DR, could save his life and We had to relocate him to be close to hospital. I had to work so she took care of hm for 4 months. So her maturity level is higher than most kids. She hangs with a great crowd. I cant say they dont all drink but they are very responsible adults. She wont date a guy unless Hes working or in School. He has to have a future. We went from haaving money to none very quickly. This job was important to her
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Former Teacher 04:35 PM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Also, I originally went in as a witness. The daycare was my kids family. They celebrated every birthday with dinner out gave each other gifts. My daughterhad no knowledge cuz She hung with older people and worked in am normally with a wonderful staff. The staff in the am is all working mothers and older women. They treat the kids as their own. The younger staff did this when the older women were not there. Also, the director never leaves her office. She is very over weight. But they put her on Friday with young staff in the pm 1 daya week. She actually started crying when she saw a group of kids at another day care. She said she will miss the kids They are her second family. I also raised my daughter differently then other kids. Not allowed to date till 16 and only boys I know or can check on. She doesn't drink or take drugs. Parties had to be supervised. She is an american. But I learned from her brother what not to do. Shes teased alot about the fact that She is going to be a 40 year old virgin. She ison her 2nd year college We even go to school together Im a full time student and work. Her father is disabled and almost died . He is still sick. She had to do internet learning for 2 months of High School Sophmore year because only 1 DR, could save his life and We had to relocate him to be close to hospital. I had to work so she took care of hm for 4 months. So her maturity level is higher than most kids. She hangs with a great crowd. I cant say they dont all drink but they are very responsible adults. She wont date a guy unless Hes working or in School. He has to have a future. We went from haaving money to none very quickly. This job was important to her
Now this VERY post is the EXACT reason why I do not respond to unregisted.
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marniewon 05:55 PM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
Now this VERY post is the EXACT reason why I do not respond to unregisted.
Former Teacher, I'm not sure what the OP said to make you not want to respond to her. People bashed her for going in with her dd to quit/report so she was explaining about her daughter. Unless I'm missing something....?
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Former Teacher 05:59 PM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by marniewon:
Former Teacher, I'm not sure what the OP said to make you not want to respond to her. People bashed her for going in with her dd to quit/report so she was explaining about her daughter. Unless I'm missing something....?
Just by looking at the latest post I am turned off by many things. Poor grammer, poor language, etc.

IMO its just someone who has nothing better to do than to try and stir up the pot.
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momofsix 06:03 PM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
Just by looking at the latest post I am turned off by many things. Poor grammer, poor language, etc.

IMO its just someone who has nothing better to do than to try and stir up the pot.
Possibly english is a second language?
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jen 07:33 PM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Possibly english is a second language?
That was my thought as well.
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marniewon 10:16 AM 04-15-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
She is an american.
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Possibly english is a second language?
Yes, that would be my guess also, since she made a point of saying her daughter is an American. It could also explain why she felt she needed to accompany her dd to quit her job.
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youretooloud 01:38 PM 04-15-2011
Originally Posted by marniewon:
Yes, that would be my guess also, since she made a point of saying her daughter is an American. It could also explain why she felt she needed to accompany her dd to quit her job.
Yes.. it's funny, because I didn't think anything of the mom going in to the center to help her quit.

I'm more upset by the mob mentality in the daycare center. I've seen bad daycare centers, and I've seen bad teachers, but I've never seen the director stick up for the teacher instead of her students. It's always been "one bad apple in a barrel", never the whole barrel.

Adult bullies, helping kids bully is just very sickening to me.
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tsmith67 09:08 AM 07-19-2012
What happens if you get fired for reporting that the directors best friend whom is also a teacher is the abuser?
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Tags:abuse, fired
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