DCB Exposing Himself

[Play Care]

Today my 4.5 yo dcb walked in on a DCG in the bathroom. He ran out laughing and announcing to the others that "I saw Sally's bare BUTT!" I immediately addressed him and told him to stop. I turned to ask Sally if she needed assistance - in that second DCB pulled down his pants and exposed his penis to the other children (perhaps to show them what he meant by butt?!) I immediately had him take a seat (honestly more to give myself a second) I've always had a rule that "clothes stay on at Mrs. K's house" and he is very well aware of that rule. I also insist that children who need to undress/ change do so in the bathroom. Again, he knows the rule. As he was sitting he was telling me he was never coming back here, going to tell his mom, etc. had I not been so upset I probably would have called mom I immediately. As it is, I'm planning to email her to let her know so I have written documentation to add to my notes.

Perhaps I've been sheltered, but in ten years I've never had a child purposely expose themselves. The child is almost 5 and going to K in the fall. He does know better.

[daycarediva]

I have had a kid pull his pants down and pee on my deck. Apparently that was allowed at home. Never just to show it off though. EEK.

I would definitely have a chat with Mom so she can speak to him. Clothes stay on, private parts are private, etc.

[mountainside13]

Originally Posted by Play Care

Today my 4.5 yo dcb walked in on a DCG in the bathroom. He ran out laughing and announcing to the others that "I saw Sally's bare BUTT!" I immediately addressed him and told him to stop. I turned to ask Sally if she needed assistance - in that second DCB pulled down his pants and exposed his penis to the other children (perhaps to show them what he meant by butt?!) I immediately had him take a seat (honestly more to give myself a second) I've always had a rule that "clothes stay on at Mrs. K's house" and he is very well aware of that rule. I also insist that children who need to undress/ change do so in the bathroom. Again, he knows the rule. As he was sitting he was telling me he was never coming back here, going to tell his mom, etc. had I not been so upset I probably would have called mom I immediately. As it is, I'm planning to email her to let her know so I have written documentation to add to my notes.

Perhaps I've been sheltered, but in ten years I've never had a child purposely expose themselves. The child is almost 5 and going to K in the fall. He does know better.

I have never had that happen before with an older child. Seems a little old to be doing that.

[taylorw1210]

I have had a 4 yr. old dcb do this a couple months ago. A quick correction, and a talk with mom (who was appalled and handled it immediately) was the only reaction necessary and he hasn't done it since. Having 3 boys of my own, I recall a few times where they thought it was "funny" to expose themselves to their brothers. After they realize it's not ok the behavior stopped immediately.

[SquirrellyMama]

Originally Posted by taylorw1210

I have had a 4 yr. old dcb do this a couple months ago. A quick correction, and a talk with mom (who was appalled and handled it immediately) was the only reaction necessary and he hasn't done it since. Having 3 boys of my own, I recall a few times where they thought it was "funny" to expose themselves to their brothers. After they realize it's not ok the behavior stopped immediately.

[craftymissbeth]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

...and something I am trying to take to heart: once is exploration (what will happen?), twice is experimentation (will it happen again?), three times is a pattern and needs addressed

SilverSabre said on another post that she's trying to follow this ^ guideline. I think maybe this thinking applies to OP's situation as well. A 4 year old will most definitely test the waters and do things without thinking.

I would talk to dcm about it and let her know what happened. I'm curious about whether anyone would talk to the other children's parents, though.

[Play Care]

Originally Posted by mountainside13

I have never had that happen before with an older child. Seems a little old to be doing that.

That's just it - if it were a child a year or so younger, I might not be as appalled. This is a child who is almost 5, knows the rules about clothing at my house, etc. This isn't a case where the child didn't realize he shouldn't be exposing himself.

[Play Care]

Originally Posted by craftymissbeth

SilverSabre said on another post that she's trying to follow this ^ guideline. I think maybe this thinking applies to OP's situation as well. A 4 year old will most definitely test the waters and do things without thinking.

I would talk to dcm about it and let her know what happened. I'm curious about whether anyone would talk to the other children's parents, though.

I'm also wondering, because he did it in front of another almost 5 yo girl. She *will* tell her mom.

[Angelsj]

Personally, I just see it as a child who got too excited and did something inappropriate. I would have had him sit and settle himself (call it time out or whatever.)
Then, I would have told him, "Bud, I think you just got excited, but what you did was absolutely not acceptable. You need to apologize to Susie for barging into the bathroom and for what you said. And you need to apologize to the other kiddos for showing them parts of you that are to be private."
Once he apologized, I would give him a quick hug and tell him, "I am sure that will not happen again. You may go play (or whatever goes next here.)"

[Play Care]

Originally Posted by Angelsj

Personally, I just see it as a child who got too excited and did something inappropriate. I would have had him sit and settle himself (call it time out or whatever.)
Then, I would have told him, "Bud, I think you just got excited, but what you did was absolutely not acceptable. You need to apologize to Susie for barging into the bathroom and for what you said. And you need to apologize to the other kiddos for showing them parts of you that are to be private."
Once he apologized, I would give him a quick hug and tell him, "I am sure that will not happen again. You may go play (or whatever goes next here.)"

I think part of the reason I'm upset is that this is a child who is always pushing past the limit. Yes, I think he got carried away. Probably with any other child, I would have handled this the exact same way as you would.

[Angelsj]

Originally Posted by Play Care

I think part of the reason I'm upset is that this is a child who is always pushing past the limit. Yes, I think he got carried away. Probably with any other child, I would have handled this the exact same way as you would.

Oh, I hear you. 4.5 to 7 yo boys typically drive me batty. Always pushing the limits on everything..and so much energy. Girls that age kinda make me crazy too, but boys just seem to have more than I can give. I usually will not take them in that age range, unless it is only part time.