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  #1  
Old 05-07-2012, 04:08 PM
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I don't know what it is with posters lately but for the past month or so, I've noticed that either there is less and less traffic or people just go past my posts.

I thought I had some friends on here and could ask for advice but lately, I notice that either people don't respond or and the ones that do usually don't "get" what I'm even seeking advice for.

I put a lot of thought into my posts and they are real life things that have come up. I come to the board for help and most of the time I get more attitude than I do help.

Is it really that hard to be nice and offer advice or ask questions before coming up with an answer that isn't relevant?!
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:13 PM
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..........

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Old 05-07-2012, 04:17 PM
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I have been on message boards for the past 13 years.... there is ALWAYS a lull in traffic in the spring and summer. I think its just that time of year.

Sorry you don't feel people are responding to your posts though. I totally understand those times, I'm on some boards where I feel almost invisible.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:18 PM
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aww don't leave yet, i guess we all have our ups and downs and something what we think isn't what it sounds like when we pen it. this forum is pretty cool to what i have seen till now. if nothing else its a really cool venting place, i found out its nice to just write without judging what the other person might be thinking. stay stick around a little longer my friend tomorrow is a new day.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
I don't know what it is with posters lately but for the past month or so, I've noticed that either there is less and less traffic or people just go past my posts.

I thought I had some friends on here and could ask for advice but lately, I notice that either people don't respond or and the ones that do usually don't "get" what I'm even seeking advice for.

I put a lot of thought into my posts and they are real life things that have come up. I come to the board for help and most of the time I get more attitude than I do help.

Is it really that hard to be nice and offer advice or ask questions before coming up with an answer that isn't relevant?!
I felt that way for a while. I even started posting as unregistered for a little while because it seemed that people would respond. I post mostly on this forum with questions, and I am looking for real advice.

Hopefully it will pass. Please stay and keep posting. I find your posts helpful.
  #6  
Old 05-07-2012, 04:23 PM
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I'm sorry you feel like that. I think that there is less traffic right now, it happens. I have felt like leaving the board a few times and I find that taking a few days of break helps immensely...I kind of distance myself from whatever the problem was.

I think people possibly have been a bit...shall we say..."snippier" than usual, but I think it's the time of year more than anything.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:31 PM
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I've been on here for almost a year and yes I too have noticed a slow in the traffic. I look at posts daily and if I happen to come across a topic that I feel I can really offer advice on or have had experience with myself I comment. If not i move on.

Sorry you feel that way. But honestly it is slow hope you stick around
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:32 PM
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Thanks everyone. I've been busier than usual with lots of changes in attendance so I'm not on everyday like I used to be although I always go back and offer advise to others where I think it might be beneficial. I'm lucky to be on twice a week anymore. I used to post something I needed help with and it was nothing to have several people come on and offer advice, people telling me to "hang in there" because they'd been through it too, etc. I'm not getting that anymore.

I seriously started to wonder if people would notice whether I wasn't on anymore.

Thanks Hunni Bee! Glad I can be of help to you on occasion!
  #9  
Old 05-07-2012, 04:37 PM
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I think that the board is just very slow right now because of springtime hitting and more people being outside.

Honestly, I've been thinking of taking a break from alot of tech/electronics just to give my brain/body a rest. I'm ready to simplify and this is one way to start.

Also, I think there isn't alot of "DRAMA" on here anymore so it seems slow. There's nothing to get members rilled up and its actually a much calmer atmosphere.

The chat was even slow today and thats usually a hopping place during naptime!

I wrote a post yesterday and it has 125 views but not one reply. It was just a Mothers Day idea but no one responded back anything to it. Hurt feelings, no but really wondering what all 125 views thought of the idea.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
Thanks everyone. I've been busier than usual with lots of changes in attendance so I'm not on everyday like I used to be although I always go back and offer advise to others where I think it might be beneficial. I'm lucky to be on twice a week anymore. I used to post something I needed help with and it was nothing to have several people come on and offer advice, people telling me to "hang in there" because they'd been through it too, etc. I'm not getting that anymore.

I seriously started to wonder if people would notice whether I wasn't on anymore.

Thanks Hunni Bee! Glad I can be of help to you on occasion!
So if your not on here that much (once or twice a week) and others are the same that would explain alot of why there isn't alot of action. I probably wouldn't jump on people for not responding if even your not on here that much. That just doesn't seem like a fair statement. It's like saying I'm not on here but when I post people should be posting back to me.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Country Kids View Post
So if your not on here that much (once or twice a week) and others are the same that would explain alot of why there isn't alot of action. I probably wouldn't jump on people for not responding if even your not on here that much. That just doesn't seem like a fair statement. It's like saying I'm not on here but when I post people should be posting back to me.
Even when I'm not on, I still go back and read/post on threads.

I am on daily but don't post but once/twice a week. Sometimes much farther between times.
  #12  
Old 05-07-2012, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
Even when I'm not on, I still go back and read/post on threads.

I am on daily but don't post but once/twice a week. Sometimes much farther between times.
I must admit the last month I have been swamped and I am just not getting things done here as I would like. I usually make sure all threads are answered in the past but not this time. The forum also goes through periods of hot and cold and It usually gets a little slower as we get near summer. And I think the chat room is also tkaing some posts away from the forum. In the past many would have a conversation on the forum, now they can do it in the chat room.
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Old 05-08-2012, 05:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
I don't know what it is with posters lately but for the past month or so, I've noticed that either there is less and less traffic or people just go past my posts.

I thought I had some friends on here and could ask for advice but lately, I notice that either people don't respond or and the ones that do usually don't "get" what I'm even seeking advice for.

I put a lot of thought into my posts and they are real life things that have come up. I come to the board for help and most of the time I get more attitude than I do help.

Is it really that hard to be nice and offer advice or ask questions before coming up with an answer that isn't relevant?!
I'm feelin' ya too.
  #14  
Old 05-08-2012, 05:56 AM
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I know personally I've not been on the computer but maybe 15 min a week lately. Maybe it's the same reason for others?
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Old 05-08-2012, 06:12 AM
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I am on several message boards and it is very typical this time of year for them to slow down. People get busy with end of the school year activities, kids sports, and just are getting outside more often. If you hang in there, the tide will change again.
  #16  
Old 05-08-2012, 06:13 AM
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I've been feeling that way lately too which has made me just not post much. Hopefully it's just that it's spring/summer and it's slow.
  #17  
Old 05-08-2012, 06:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
I don't know what it is with posters lately but for the past month or so, I've noticed that either there is less and less traffic or people just go past my posts.

I thought I had some friends on here and could ask for advice but lately, I notice that either people don't respond or and the ones that do usually don't "get" what I'm even seeking advice for.

I put a lot of thought into my posts and they are real life things that have come up. I come to the board for help and most of the time I get more attitude than I do help.

Is it really that hard to be nice and offer advice or ask questions before coming up with an answer that isn't relevant?!
What I try to do is post a few starters when it is dull- try to get the conversations rolling a bit. This is my outlet and I check it off and on all day, mostly at nap time. I forget about the chat room. I like the forum because I can stop and think, maybe stop and come back if I need to and think out my answers before responding (at least I try) Maybe someone could put up the hot topics of the day that are conversation in the chat room if you think that is taking away from the forum. I know everyone can't find time to spend in the chat room but see that some people are missing the interactions. Just a thought-

I respond to what interest me or what I feel I can be a help to someone else- I don't purposely single someone out. Sorry you have felt this way. My advice is not to take it personally and try starting up some new post. Another thing is if someone already wrote what I would have, I often don't bother to put it out there again. I figured it has been said. I might chime in that I agree with so and so.

Happy Tuesday everyone-
  #18  
Old 05-08-2012, 06:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
I don't know what it is with posters lately but for the past month or so, I've noticed that either there is less and less traffic or people just go past my posts.

I thought I had some friends on here and could ask for advice but lately, I notice that either people don't respond or and the ones that do usually don't "get" what I'm even seeking advice for.

I put a lot of thought into my posts and they are real life things that have come up. I come to the board for help and most of the time I get more attitude than I do help.

Is it really that hard to be nice and offer advice or ask questions before coming up with an answer that isn't relevant?!
I sat on this for a while as I didn't want to post based on my immediate reaction but I have to say that now that I go back and actually do a bit of back reading, I am kind of offended by this whole post.

I tend to stay away from commenting when someone is simply venting as the venting posts by members simply seem to be a way to let off steam and require no advice or ideas to be added. However, when I answer your posts looking for advice I am either not "getting it" as you put it or not always responded back to or heck, even thanked for my attempted efforts to offer advice/support.

I am NOT saying that this is ALWAYS the case (for me) but to many members in general. I dont always see you going back and either trying to explain or further expand on what you mean so others CAN "get it" or thanking members for trying to help and offer advice. I guess I just feel like by saying that posters here aren't "getting it" is kind of insulting. I mean we all come from different walks of life and run vastly different programs and businesses so if the general population to which you are posting to isn't "getting it", it may have more to do with how "it" is being worded or presented....kwim?

I also feel that as members of this forum, we have an obligation to thank or atleast acknowledge people for trying to be helpful and supportive in offering advice....even when the advice isn't what we want to do. After all the advice given here is free so a little gratefulness goes a long ways.

I also went back and read all your threads and I don't see where no one is responding to you. Most of your threads have replies/comments in the double digits with the exception of a few venting or simple statement threads where there were only 5 or 6 responses, so I guess I am not seeing how you are feeling like no one is responding to you. As a matter of fact I did notice that the one person who almost always responds to you is someone you kind of went off on as she was apparently not "getting it" which I think is kind of a not so nice thing to do since she was only trying to help you out.

I also want to point out that you average 4.5 posts per day. We have far more posts/threads than that made everyday here and there is no way that you could possibly respond or offer advice to others with only having an average of 4.5 posts per day so this feeling of not being responded to goes both ways. Are you responding to others and offering advice to them on a regular basis? I don't mean posting how you do things or simply commenting but actually offering them advice or support for their situation? I mean, you kind of can't complain about people not supporting/advising you if you arent supporting/advising them.

Anyways, I am NOT trying to offend you or start a debate or argument but what I am trying to say to you and others who feel similar is that there are 100's of different personalities and styles on this forum and if I feel like people aren't listening or supporting me, I look at what I can do differently or what I am be doing wrong. I can't change others but I can definitely change myself.

If I am looking for advice here, than I need to give it. If I am looking for support, I better be willing to be supportive and if I am looking for friendship then I have to be friendly.....and that I DO get and that is how I personally see it.

Kind of like the saying "you get out of life what you put into it."
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Old 05-08-2012, 07:12 AM
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I come on everyday but don't always post because I don't have the time but love reading posts
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Old 05-08-2012, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I sat on this for a while as I didn't want to post based on my immediate reaction but I have to say that now that I go back and actually do a bit of back reading, I am kind of offended by this whole post.

I tend to stay away from commenting when someone is simply venting as the venting posts by members simply seem to be a way to let off steam and require no advice or ideas to be added. However, when I answer your posts looking for advice I am either not "getting it" as you put it or not always responded back to or heck, even thanked for my attempted efforts to offer advice/support.

I am NOT saying that this is ALWAYS the case (for me) but to many members in general. I dont always see you going back and either trying to explain or further expand on what you mean so others CAN "get it" or thanking members for trying to help and offer advice. I guess I just feel like by saying that posters here aren't "getting it" is kind of insulting. I mean we all come from different walks of life and run vastly different programs and businesses so if the general population to which you are posting to isn't "getting it", it may have more to do with how "it" is being worded or presented....kwim?

I also feel that as members of this forum, we have an obligation to thank or atleast acknowledge people for trying to be helpful and supportive in offering advice....even when the advice isn't what we want to do. After all the advice given here is free so a little gratefulness goes a long ways.

I also went back and read all your threads and I don't see where no one is responding to you. Most of your threads have replies/comments in the double digits with the exception of a few venting or simple statement threads where there were only 5 or 6 responses, so I guess I am not seeing how you are feeling like no one is responding to you. As a matter of fact I did notice that the one person who almost always responds to you is someone you kind of went off on as she was apparently not "getting it" which I think is kind of a not so nice thing to do since she was only trying to help you out.

I also want to point out that you average 4.5 posts per day. We have far more posts/threads than that made everyday here and there is no way that you could possibly respond or offer advice to others with only having an average of 4.5 posts per day so this feeling of not being responded to goes both ways. Are you responding to others and offering advice to them on a regular basis? I don't mean posting how you do things or simply commenting but actually offering them advice or support for their situation? I mean, you kind of can't complain about people not supporting/advising you if you arent supporting/advising them.

Anyways, I am NOT trying to offend you or start a debate or argument but what I am trying to say to you and others who feel similar is that there are 100's of different personalities and styles on this forum and if I feel like people aren't listening or supporting me, I look at what I can do differently or what I am be doing wrong. I can't change others but I can definitely change myself.

If I am looking for advice here, than I need to give it. If I am looking for support, I better be willing to be supportive and if I am looking for friendship then I have to be friendly.....and that I DO get and that is how I personally see it.

Kind of like the saying "you get out of life what you put into it."
Wowie!!! Talk about confrontational and pretty hateful! And you say you sat on this for awhile before responding?! I'd really love to know what you wanted to say because you pretty much said it all.

First and foremost, I'd like to point out in this thread alone...POST #8, where I go THANKING everyone and even went out to thank someone personally. So you aren't given personal recognition. Big deal. I've been on this board for over a year. I don't sit around waiting for thanks, gratitude or personal recognition and I don't think anyone else does either. Is this the new etiquette?! And this is an OBLIGATION?!

4.5 posts per day, huh?! Wow...that's equivalent to 31.5 posts per week. That's 15 posts in 2 days. I'd have to say that's pretty dang good! I'll take the merit even though you are wanting to demerit me.

I think I'm much more valuable than you are giving me credit for here. I've gone out of my way and offered ADVICE and SUGGESTIONS and not ALWAYS how I do things. If I don't have advice, I simply don't post and I get that others don't either and maybe that's why I'm not seeing the traffic or responses to posts.

The reason this thread was even started was because of the lack of responses to my previous thread asking for advice about cutting back hours and approaching a family about a schedule change.

Maybe there aren't enough people that have had the opportunity to cut back hours and don't have much to say in terms of the situation but it certainly wasn't a vent. It is a real life problem I am contemplating.

AND...if you review the thread, the last post states to the person you say I "went off", you will notice that I stated maybe she misinterpreted what I was trying to get through and to read the previous post.

I'd like to say more, but perhaps I should just bite my tongue?!
  #21  
Old 05-08-2012, 08:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I sat on this for a while as I didn't want to post based on my immediate reaction but I have to say that now that I go back and actually do a bit of back reading, I am kind of offended by this whole post.

I tend to stay away from commenting when someone is simply venting as the venting posts by members simply seem to be a way to let off steam and require no advice or ideas to be added. However, when I answer your posts looking for advice I am either not "getting it" as you put it or not always responded back to or heck, even thanked for my attempted efforts to offer advice/support.

I am NOT saying that this is ALWAYS the case (for me) but to many members in general. I dont always see you going back and either trying to explain or further expand on what you mean so others CAN "get it" or thanking members for trying to help and offer advice. I guess I just feel like by saying that posters here aren't "getting it" is kind of insulting. I mean we all come from different walks of life and run vastly different programs and businesses so if the general population to which you are posting to isn't "getting it", it may have more to do with how "it" is being worded or presented....kwim?

I also feel that as members of this forum, we have an obligation to thank or atleast acknowledge people for trying to be helpful and supportive in offering advice....even when the advice isn't what we want to do. After all the advice given here is free so a little gratefulness goes a long ways.

I also went back and read all your threads and I don't see where no one is responding to you. Most of your threads have replies/comments in the double digits with the exception of a few venting or simple statement threads where there were only 5 or 6 responses, so I guess I am not seeing how you are feeling like no one is responding to you. As a matter of fact I did notice that the one person who almost always responds to you is someone you kind of went off on as she was apparently not "getting it" which I think is kind of a not so nice thing to do since she was only trying to help you out.

I also want to point out that you average 4.5 posts per day. We have far more posts/threads than that made everyday here and there is no way that you could possibly respond or offer advice to others with only having an average of 4.5 posts per day so this feeling of not being responded to goes both ways. Are you responding to others and offering advice to them on a regular basis? I don't mean posting how you do things or simply commenting but actually offering them advice or support for their situation? I mean, you kind of can't complain about people not supporting/advising you if you arent supporting/advising them.

Anyways, I am NOT trying to offend you or start a debate or argument but what I am trying to say to you and others who feel similar is that there are 100's of different personalities and styles on this forum and if I feel like people aren't listening or supporting me, I look at what I can do differently or what I am be doing wrong. I can't change others but I can definitely change myself.

If I am looking for advice here, than I need to give it. If I am looking for support, I better be willing to be supportive and if I am looking for friendship then I have to be friendly.....and that I DO get and that is how I personally see it.

Kind of like the saying "you get out of life what you put into it."
Thank you for this post. I hesitate to post on any of the OPs threads because exactly what you described is what happened to me.....I have posted numerous times on her threads yet from my point of view, was recently harshly treated because I "didnt get it". I tried my best but apparently that was not good enough. Yes we all get snippy at times or read things in a way that was not intended but if a person feels that NO ONE understands them on the forum and there are many active users here....perhaps it is that persons issue to change, not everyone else's.
  #22  
Old 05-08-2012, 09:02 AM
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Thank you for this post. I hesitate to post on any of the OPs threads because exactly what you described is what happened to me.....I have posted numerous times on her threads yet from my point of view, was recently harshly treated because I "didnt get it". I tried my best but apparently that was not good enough. Yes we all get snippy at times or read things in a way that was not intended but if a person feels that NO ONE understands them on the forum and there are many active users here....perhaps it is that persons issue to change, not everyone else's.
I'm just curious but if you are discussing yesterdays thread, I always appreciate when you come on and offer your opinion or advice. Your suggestions yesterday weren't relevant to the particular situation. I'm not certain if you read it too quickly, misinterpreted it or if it wasn't outlined or described very well but the advice you did offer wasn't relevant to the situation. Again, I'm not sure if it was my error for not spelling it out well enough or otherwise.
  #23  
Old 05-08-2012, 09:14 AM
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Wowie!!! Talk about confrontational and pretty hateful! And you say you sat on this for awhile before responding?! I'd really love to know what you wanted to say because you pretty much said it all.

Like I said in my post, this is how I personally see it. I wasn't trying to make YOU feel badly but you started a thread complaining about how you feel no one responds to you....how am I suppose to respond to that? I am sorry if you are offended but I am simply responding..which is what you asked for.

First and foremost, I'd like to point out in this thread alone...POST #8, where I go THANKING everyone and even went out to thank someone personally. So you aren't given personal recognition. Big deal. I've been on this board for over a year. I don't sit around waiting for thanks, gratitude or personal recognition and I don't think anyone else does either. Is this the new etiquette?! And this is an OBLIGATION?!

I didn't say you never thank anyone but I just can't see how you can complain that no one responds to you when clearly they do. If you aren't sitting around waiting for gratitude, thanks and personal recognition, what IS it you are wanting? Advice? Because like I said, there is one person who is continually responding to you and you bit her head off for not "getting it". So please, clarify, what would you like posters to say in their responses to you? I WAS offering advice. I said that we owe it to others to support and advise them as much as we want support and advice from others
....and yes, I think being a member of this board does have obligations.


4.5 posts per day, huh?! Wow...that's equivalent to 31.5 posts per week. That's 15 posts in 2 days. I'd have to say that's pretty dang good! I'll take the merit even though you are wanting to demerit me.

I didn't pull that number out of a hat. It is the number of average posts per day YOUR profile says you have. I have zero intentions of demeriting you...I simply re-posted what YOUR profile says so please don't kill the messenger.

I also have no interest in demeriting you....I simply think there are two sides
to everything and you shouldnt be able to post complaining without some fallout from people who dont feel the same way as you being able to respond.

I don't know maybe I once again am not "getting it" and have no idea what your original intent was at all.


I think I'm much more valuable than you are giving me credit for here. I've gone out of my way and offered ADVICE and SUGGESTIONS and not ALWAYS how I do things. If I don't have advice, I simply don't post and I get that others don't either and maybe that's why I'm not seeing the traffic or responses to posts. Why is that an ok thing for you but it isn't ok for others? I had no advice to give you on the thread about the DCM going on maternity leave so I didn't respond and I assume that is why others may not have responded as well.

The reason this thread was even started was because of the lack of responses to my previous thread asking for advice about cutting back hours and approaching a family about a schedule change.

Maybe there aren't enough people that have had the opportunity to cut back hours and don't have much to say in terms of the situation but it certainly wasn't a vent. It is a real life problem I am contemplating.
We are ALL experiencing real life problems and everything posted on here IS real life for someone...it gives no more merrit to your situation than to others.
AND...if you review the thread, the last post states to the person you say I "went off", you will notice that I stated maybe she misinterpreted what I was trying to get through and to read the previous post.

I did read that you went back and replied again to her but all you said was she apparently didnt "get it" and that you may have come across wrong....you never once apologized for coming across so harshly to her. (Which she obviously feels by her own words in this thread here.)

I'd like to say more, but perhaps I should just bite my tongue?!
I answered in bold above as well.

As I said, my response was how I personally see things. It has no meaness or hatred directed AT you, I was simply offering you a response and advice on how YOU do have the power to change things if you want to but you can't change others.

I am sorry if you are offended. The only words that offended me are where you said that you think some people don't "get it" and I think that came across as kind of rude.

Also, FWIW~ I am NOT asking for personal recognition or thanks.....I guess I just read your words as if YOU apparently are or you wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place.

I am sorry if you don't agree with how I feel about it but I answered you in regards to your original post and I guess we are two VERY different people so I will leave it at that and move along. I was trying to offer a different perspective since we all see things in so many different ways.

I apologize if I offended you in any way. Hoping you feel more responded to and supported from now on.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 05-09-2012 at 09:32 AM.
  #24  
Old 05-08-2012, 09:19 AM
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I personally don't have a lot of time to read every thread and post on the forum much less reposnd to everything therefore I have to sort of pick and choose what I do read and respond to. I personally first hit the "New Posts" link in the upper menu and then check to see if there are any new responses to a thread that I commented to and read those first. Then I scan all of the remaining thread titles for something that looks interesting to me. An interesting title catches my attention.

Once I read the thread and if I feel that it's something that I feel isn't simply a vent, hasn't been covered numerously before, something that I can quickly respond to or if it's something that resonated with me somehow then I'll respond. If I feel that my answer would take too long to type up or would need more thought then I go on to the next thread. If I felt that I couldn't contribute in any way then I simply wouldn't respond.

Once I went through the threads and I still had time to go back to some of the other threads that I didn't get to respond to then I'd go back but the reality is that I know that I won't be able to reply to every thread so I stick to those that are interesting to me that I could respond to without having to take time to look up further info.

I also tend to avoid threads where I see that people putting others down for voicing their opinions and personal way of doing things especially when they start a thread and ask for advice or opinions. I also tend to avoid threads (or at least be extremely cautious) where the poster generally and frequently seems like a "Debbie Downer". In no way related to this particular thread or poster.

Before I start a new thread I search previous threads by using a Tag search to see if my issue has been discussed before and read those posts first. If my particular need isn't met there then I start a new thread. When I post a new thread I try to be as specific as possible in what I am looking for when I ask for advice. I try to give as much information as possible so that readers get the general idea and so that I have the best chance of getting my answer.

BTW I just want to make it clear that I am in no way referencing the OP threads or posts and that this is just a generalization of what it is that I look for and avoid in a thread.
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Old 05-08-2012, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
As I said, my response was how I personally see things. It has no meaness or hatred directed AT you, I was simply offering you a response and advice on how YOU do have the power to change things if you want to but you can't change others.

I am sorry if you are offended. The only words that offended me are where you said that you think some people don't "get it" and I think that came across as kind of rude.

Also, FWIW~ I am NOT asking for personal recognition or thanks.....I guess I just read your words as if YOU apparently are or you wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place.

I am sorry if you don't agree with how I feel about it but I answered you in regards to your original post and I guess we are two VERY different people so I will leave it at that and move along. I was trying to offer a different perspective since we all see things in so many different ways.

I apologize if I offended you in any way. Hoping you feel more responded to and supported from now on.
I don't mean to come off as rude but the last several posts I've had where there are only 5 or 6 responses, how many of them offer any real advice. I get plenty that agree or been there done that or those that would love to know how things turn out but when advice is asked for, it seems to fall on deaf ears.

As for Cheerfuldom, she's been on the board for about as long as I have and usually offers pretty good suggestions or advice for handling specific situations. In this case however, the advice was off because it wasn't relevant to the post. Again, I'm not sure if it was misinterpreted or if I should have went into further detail trying to explain.

In the end, it is what it is. We are all real people looking for real life answers. I don't think we always are getting advice that is applicable to every situation. It's no different than the advice I provide. I don't look for instant gratification. I just put it out there. It's a take it or leave it type of deal. What may work for some may not work for others.
  #26  
Old 05-08-2012, 09:38 AM
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I must not get it either... I read your thread from yesterday, and wasn't cheerfuldom the first one to respond? Not only the first, but she offered real advice and you dismissed her and then "cyber" yelled at her! Lol

Honestly, if I read your thread and saw how you responded to cheerfuldom yesterday I probably wouldn't offer advice. To me your post sounded like you already knew what to do and just wanted validation...

I didn't read the rest of your posts because I honestly don't really care... This thread just seems a little narcissistic....

JUST MY OPINION!
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Old 05-08-2012, 09:42 AM
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I must not get it either... I read your thread from yesterday, and wasn't cheerfuldom the first one to respond? Not only the first, but she offered real advice and you dismissed her and then "cyber" yelled at her! Lol

Honestly, if I read your thread and saw how you responded to cheerfuldom yesterday I probably wouldn't offer advice. To me your post sounded like you already knew what to do and just wanted validation...

I didn't read the rest of your posts because I honestly don't really care... This thread just seems a little narcissistic....

JUST MY OPINION!
Had you have read the rest of the posts, you would have seen where the advice offered wasn't valid to the situation because it wasn't at all related to my vacation.
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Old 05-08-2012, 09:47 AM
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Had you have read the rest of the posts, you would have seen where the advice offered wasn't valid to the situation because it wasn't at all related to my vacation.
I did read the rest of the posts and in her first response she gave you great advice about your vacation and then you dismissed her and she responded accordingly.

Regardless, so sorry I didn't agree with you...

I think I see a pattern here
  #29  
Old 05-08-2012, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I tend to stay away from commenting when someone is simply venting as the venting posts by members simply seem to be a way to let off steam and require no advice or ideas to be added. However, when I answer your posts looking for advice I am either not "getting it" as you put it or not always responded back to or heck, even thanked for my attempted efforts to offer advice/support.
You're kinder than me. This thread read like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum because the poster wasn't getting the attention they wanted. I don't indulge adults who act like children. I deal with enough childish behaviour working with actual children. I've seen this poster respond to many threads and they always seem to be jumping on the person offering an opinion or advice. Who wants to help just to get jumped on for it. Heck, her response to you in this thread is a perfect example of that. You'd think that if you weren't getting what you want/need from a message board and nobody ever seemed to 'get you' or understand where you're coming from, that you might want to step back and examine yourself and your own behaviour before ostracizing yourself even more by freaking out on others.. But, that's just me...
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Old 05-08-2012, 10:22 AM
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I went back, found the post and put my 3 cents in. I just wanted to come back to this post and make my hopefully last comment.

My comment is....it would take a lot more then that last post for me to leave here. This is a great place to vent, get advice, help others, connect and I could go on......to leave over that seems silly to me. I am sorry your having a bad moment- If you really felt left out, I would have posted again, bolded it so it was seen. Need Advice, urgent to me, please help I seriously just think your having an off day and we all have those, pickles sometimes I have them more then once in a day. Good luck, hope you have a better outlook on all of this now-


Blackcat- EXcellent advice you gave as did others
  #31  
Old 05-08-2012, 10:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Soupyszoo View Post
I did read the rest of the posts and in her first response she gave you great advice about your vacation and then you dismissed her and she responded accordingly.

Regardless, so sorry I didn't agree with you...

I think I see a pattern here
The thread is not about my vacation. That is the point I'm trying to get across, therefore,the advice isn't relevant.
  #32  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:29 AM
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so I had to think what i was going to write so it didn't come off rude. I think you are acting selfish, I can't believe you would complain about, how people don't comment on your posts. Seriously, put your big girl pants on. Maybe some of us don't have any suggestions for you, did you ever think of that. I can't stand people who post threads like this, either you go or you stay, but why make a big production out of it.
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Old 05-08-2012, 11:30 AM
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and I've had plenty of posts where no one answers me, do I complain NO!!
  #34  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:31 AM
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so I had to think what i was going to write so it didn't come off rude. I think you are acting selfish, I can't believe you would complain about, how people don't comment on your posts. Seriously, put your big girl pants on. Maybe some of us don't have any suggestions for you, did you ever think of that. I can't stand people who post threads like this, either you go or you stay, but why make a big production out of it.
OH....I think I said that already but thank for reiterating.
  #35  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:33 AM
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The thread is not about my vacation. That is the point I'm trying to get across, therefore,the advice isn't relevant.
My advice to you then is not to add information into the description if it's not related to the information that you are seeking. If you were simply looking for information about one thing and added informaiton about other things to give people more understanding then I recommend starting with "Here's some background first" and then give the general information. Then "Here's my issue" and state your issue that you want advice or suggestions for and finish off by asking one clear question after you state your issue.

Maybe doing it like this will be more clear to people and more helpfull to you?

For the record I did read the post from yesterday and from my perception I was confused as to what the question was talking about. My perception is that the post talked about topic A in the beginning, then topic B, then topic C, then how you felt and then finished off with a general question about what people would do. Nowhere did I get the impression that Topic B was specifically being asked KWIM? I think that many people got that impression that the question was about the entire post in whole covering topics A,B and C. I think that's where the confusion is and why you didn't get the help to the question that you were focusing on.

And I think that if you aren't getting the answers to the question that you are focusing on then clarifying again what you want without sounding frustrated is going to get you better results and suggestions to the topic you wanted to focus on. People are here because they want to help or at least offer support. People often give examples from their own experiences and say they've been through it too because it's a way to show others that they are not alone in their predicament ... thus how they offer support. I hope that this is food for thought.
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  #36  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:37 AM
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My advice to you then is not to add information into the description if it's not related to the information that you are seeking. If you were simply looking for information about one thing and added informaiton about other things to give people more understanding then I recommend starting with

"Here's some background first" and then stating your issue that you are asking advice or suggestions for and then ask one clear question after you state your issue.

Maybe doing it like this will be more clear to people and more helpfull to you?

For the record I did read the post from yesterday and from my perception I was confused as to what the question was talking about. The post talked about topic A in the beginning, then topic B, thehn topic C and then how you felt and then at the end a general question was asked about what people would do. Nowhere did I get the impression that Topic B was specifically being asked KWIM? I think that many people got that impression like I did that the question was about the whole situation in whole covering topics A,B and C. I think that's where the confusion is and why you didn't get the help to the question that you were focusing on.

And I think that if you aren't getting the answers to the question that you are focusing on then clarifying again what you want without sounding frustrated is going to get you better results and the suggestions to the topic you wanted to focus on. People are here and want to help or at least offer support. People often give examples from their own experiences and say they've been through it too because it's a way to show others that they are not alone in their predicament ... thus how they offer support. I hope that this is food for thought.
Thank you for speaking up. I apologize for the misunderstanding and the way the post was written. I will take your advice and go about it another way next time.
  #37  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:50 AM
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I'm just a lurker and from what I see when ever I ger on here is YOU causing trouble.
Boo hoo,no one will talk to me.Grow up!
Not everyone hangs on your every word,waiting to reply.You wanted some responses well I guess you got what you asked for.
  #38  
Old 05-08-2012, 12:04 PM
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I'm just a lurker and from what I see when ever I ger on here is YOU causing trouble.
Boo hoo,no one will talk to me.Grow up!
Not everyone hangs on your every word,waiting to reply.You wanted some responses well I guess you got what you asked for.
Really?! Boo hoo. Maybe you should take your own advice and quit being a troll!!!
  #39  
Old 05-08-2012, 12:34 PM
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Is it really that hard to be nice...?
Pot calling the kettle black?
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Old 05-08-2012, 12:36 PM
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See this is what I mean.I feel this post has been turned into alot of "Drama" and now the posts are flying back and forth. It had been nice and quiet for awhile too.

Like MV was saying, maybe really clarify what your question is and go from there. In your other post from yesterday, I thought you were asking should I ask again for the schedule change or not? In the same post though you wrote alot about maternity leave, vacation and how it wouldn't effect anyone but the pregnant mom. I did get lost along the way because it sounded like this child wasn't going to be there much longer, but then coming over maternity leave time.

I know its going to be a loss of income for you to lose this child but have you advertised to another one. Are you looking to replace him. See I really wasn't sure what you were asking because of everything else you wrote.
  #41  
Old 05-08-2012, 12:38 PM
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Whenever we reply to a post asking for help or opinion, most of us offer replies from our own experience and lives. That may or may not help the original poster. But we tried and isn't that what counts? Even if we don't "get it"?

And not answering a post doesn't mean we are ignoring the poster. It simply means that maybe we don't feel we have the information needed.
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Old 05-08-2012, 12:56 PM
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See this is what I mean.I feel this post has been turned into alot of "Drama" and now the posts are flying back and forth. It had been nice and quiet for awhile too.

Like MV was saying, maybe really clarify what your question is and go from there. In your other post from yesterday, I thought you were asking should I ask again for the schedule change or not? In the same post though you wrote alot about maternity leave, vacation and how it wouldn't effect anyone but the pregnant mom. I did get lost along the way because it sounded like this child wasn't going to be there much longer, but then coming over maternity leave time.

I know its going to be a loss of income for you to lose this child but have you advertised to another one. Are you looking to replace him. See I really wasn't sure what you were asking because of everything else you wrote.
I reread it several times over and was able to see where it might be confusing to some given I did give a lot of information. Thank you for attempting to disect it and offer advice. I was able to get some valuable info from posters and did take their advice.
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Old 05-08-2012, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Meeko View Post
Whenever we reply to a post asking for help or opinion, most of us offer replies from our own experience and lives. That may or may not help the original poster. But we tried and isn't that what counts? Even if we don't "get it"?

And not answering a post doesn't mean we are ignoring the poster. It simply means that maybe we don't feel we have the information needed.
Thanks Meeko. I can see how there might not have been many to have encountered this type of situation.
  #44  
Old 05-08-2012, 01:21 PM
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Think about this "virtual place". It cost money, time and daily effort to make it useful. It is a platform to make of it what you will (within reason). I likewise am very busy but try to take the time to read the New Posts as MarinaVanessa suggested. I know most of the time I try to scan threads and offer some suggestions or TAGs that may be of help. I am sure most of the time I may not "get" where the thread is going. It took a couple years before others started to respond to my posts. I think I've made some friends here.

When I read how much the board has enhanced people's lives, businesses and daily grind, it makes it all worthwhile.

I think a lot of the advice here is helpful. How often do you get people that will take the time to give you a realistic view of what THEY see, be it critical at times. I would rather hear what people actually think then the fluff, PC and dribble that is usually offered in other settings. I think the internet make that possible. I do not see members here hiding behind their computers making hurtful comments. There is a lot of positive information in this thread. Use it.
  #45  
Old 05-08-2012, 01:31 PM
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  #46  
Old 05-08-2012, 01:39 PM
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I just wanted to say that the OP has privately reached out to apologize to me and try and smooth things over and I appreciated the effort. Lets just all move on from this thread. We are all busy ladies here and dont need the extra drama, right?
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