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Old 09-20-2012, 02:04 PM
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sahm2three sahm2three is offline
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Default JUST Turned 3 Year Old Decided He Was DONE With Naps

So, I am hoping it is just some weird thing in the air, and not going to be the new norm. I have a 3 year dcb who has decided today that he was NOT going to nap, or be quiet. And he KNEW there wasn't anything I could do about it. He had figured out that if he screamed and screamed, I would let him up to keep him from waking the other kids. I already moved him to an area away from the other kids, and put fans on, but he is LOUD. So, I got zero quiet time, and got him up. I don't know what to do. I told him he didn't have to sleep but he did have to be quiet, and he showed me I was dead wrong. I am having a talk with the mom tonight. We are going to paint when everyone is up, and he isn't going to get to. I have NOTHING else to teach him with. I have already tried talking to him, but he doesn't care. I know it's going to cause a fit, but I am going to allow the other kids to do their painting project and not allow him to. We all made sculptures with clay and let them dry and today was the day we were going to paint. I threatened him that if he did not lie down and be quiet during nap time that he would not be allowed to paint. He didn't seem to care. He is happy as a clam up playing now. I know I probably made a big mistake letting him up, but felt like I didn't have a choice. What would you do?!?! It has been a he11 of a week!
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:16 PM
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You poor thing! I would fire the whole lot of parents/kids and start over I think. You have a doozy of a bunch with your childcare.

Stick to your guns and don't let him paint. Show him your the boss and life will go on but he's got to listen.
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
So, I am hoping it is just some weird thing in the air, and not going to be the new norm. I have a 3 year dcb who has decided today that he was NOT going to nap, or be quiet. And he KNEW there wasn't anything I could do about it. He had figured out that if he screamed and screamed, I would let him up to keep him from waking the other kids. I already moved him to an area away from the other kids, and put fans on, but he is LOUD. So, I got zero quiet time, and got him up. I don't know what to do. I told him he didn't have to sleep but he did have to be quiet, and he showed me I was dead wrong. I am having a talk with the mom tonight. We are going to paint when everyone is up, and he isn't going to get to. I have NOTHING else to teach him with. I have already tried talking to him, but he doesn't care. I know it's going to cause a fit, but I am going to allow the other kids to do their painting project and not allow him to. We all made sculptures with clay and let them dry and today was the day we were going to paint. I threatened him that if he did not lie down and be quiet during nap time that he would not be allowed to paint. He didn't seem to care. He is happy as a clam up playing now. I know I probably made a big mistake letting him up, but felt like I didn't have a choice. What would you do?!?! It has been a he11 of a week!
I would have just listened to the screaming. I would have moved him as far away as possible and let him scream.

I would have told him you can be sad, you cannot scream inside my house and then walked away.

Sometimes when the kids try this on me, if the have a lovey or something I tell them if you don't lay down and try to nap I will have to keep your ________________. what would you like to do?? 9 times out of 10 I get my way.
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:19 PM
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You poor thing! I would fire the whole lot of parents/kids and start over I think. You have a doozy of a bunch with your childcare.

Stick to your guns and don't let him paint. Show him your the boss and life will go on but he's got to listen.
for some kids they wont care at all. I have one like this and my oldest son is like this. You could take everything away from him still today and he still wont care....
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:22 PM
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I think today is the day I would give a special treat (1 gummy bear or something like that) to every little girl and boy who was quiet during nap time.
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:23 PM
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I think today is the day I would give a special treat (1 gummy bear or something like that) to every little girl and boy who was quiet during nap time.
honestly I don;t think that will work... It would have to be immediate response for that child to be able to understand that by nap time tomorrow. I could be wrong, but children need to have their consequences and rewards surrendered immediately, or they will forget what it is for......

I can't stand that parent that say when we get home I am going to XYZ you.......... Most kids won't remember by the time they get home what they did or did not do in the first place.....
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:36 PM
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I do the blanket threat too. Most of my kids bring blankies from home. If they're loud in the nap area, I threaten to take it away and then do if they're not quiet. When they settle down and get quiet again, I will give it back. If they don't settle down, no blankie. It has gotten to where I just have to threaten with it and they quiet down. Unfortunately, you may have to listen to the screaming for a week before he gets the message, but he WILL get the message. If you let him up just one time, he'll have your number and just scream longer next time. You have to nip it immediately.
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:40 PM
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I do the blanket threat too. Most of my kids bring blankies from home. If they're loud in the nap area, I threaten to take it away and then do if they're not quiet. When they settle down and get quiet again, I will give it back. If they don't settle down, no blankie. It has gotten to where I just have to threaten with it and they quiet down. Unfortunately, you may have to listen to the screaming for a week before he gets the message, but he WILL get the message. If you let him up just one time, he'll have your number and just scream longer next time. You have to nip it immediately.
I agree with all that she said.

never negotiate with a child. if you do it once, they will expect it again......never open that can of worms.
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:55 PM
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honestly I don;t think that will work... It would have to be immediate response for that child to be able to understand that by nap time tomorrow. I could be wrong, but children need to have their consequences and rewards surrendered immediately, or they will forget what it is for......

I can't stand that parent that say when we get home I am going to XYZ you.......... Most kids won't remember by the time they get home what they did or did not do in the first place.....
I was not very clear. I apologize. I am on the west coast so when I posted it was still our nap time. What I should have said more clearly was that as soon as the kids got up from nap time I would give all of the quiet little ones a very small treat....like a gummy, or a yogurt raisin, or sticker or whatever works. When you come to the screamer say "maybe next time you will be quiet." and go about your day. I have found these unexpected rewards to be very helpful. Be prepared to treat tomorrow if he is quiet. Lots and lots of positive atention to the kiddos who are doing the correct behavior. This have worked well for me for years and years.

Also I would not have gotten him up early. I would have checked to make sure he was safe and kept him in bed the entire nap time. If you give a three year old an inch he'll take a mile.

Good luck op.
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Old 09-21-2012, 03:28 AM
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I just terminated a family and the screaming/crying at nap time (to wake everyone up ) was one of the reasons. Kids do outgrow naps, my own kids were done napping by 2 1/2 - 3 as they got their sleep in at night. But they were still expected to stay quietly in their rooms for an hour or so. I've had other kids who didn't nap play quietly on mats with special quiet time kits (and if they were not quiet the kits went away and they had to stay on the mat) so I know it can be done. I tell parents that quiet time is mandatory and that even if their child doesn't nap others do and need it. We need children to realize that they need to be considerate of others.
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Old 09-21-2012, 04:05 AM
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Quiet time is my time.

I work alone. I need this break. I need to regroup, clean, piddle, prep, paperwork, breath with out a child demanding from me. I am still working, but it is down time. All kids take a break and are quiet for this time. (Except a baby who would be on its own schedule)

Don't let him up. Let him work it out. Do a lot of Sssshhh it is quiet time- shooshing, and we need to let our friends sleep they are tired. Then say no more. Eye contact-none. Just continue about that this is what we do. If he gets off his cot, put him back on and walk away. Repeat and maybe use a one word no or a shoosh. I try to put this child down first, so they can get the wiggles out of the system and relax. I would say most three year olds still need a rest and he sounds like he was over tired and could not settle down.

Best of luck-
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Old 09-21-2012, 06:49 AM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
honestly I don;t think that will work... It would have to be immediate response for that child to be able to understand that by nap time tomorrow. I could be wrong, but children need to have their consequences and rewards surrendered immediately, or they will forget what it is for......

I can't stand that parent that say when we get home I am going to XYZ you.......... Most kids won't remember by the time they get home what they did or did not do in the first place.....
In SOME cases you are correct, however in this situation the child is 3 yrs old. He am betting he FULLY understands what is and isn't expected of him.

I often reward other kids AFTER the fact when someone else is not complying with the rules to show them that the others earned a reward by doing what was asked of them.

Also doing this helps kids built the necessary skils of learning to wait and not get instant gratification (or punishment in some cases.)

I think rewards/consequences need to be doled out instantly and immediately for really young kids who haven't yet begun to experience perspective thinking or don't yet understand what "waiting" means.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Live and Learn View Post
I think today is the day I would give a special treat (1 gummy bear or something like that) to every little girl and boy who was quiet during nap time.
I do this now and then when necessary and have to say I RARELY have napping issues. I think it really does work. Especially when you are trying to show one child who is being defiant that positive behavior or compliant behavior is what earns you the reward and/or attention not the negative or bad behaviors.
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Old 09-21-2012, 10:00 AM
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All children have quiet/nap time here. If they choose not to sleep, that is fine. They still have to lay quiet for naptime.
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Old 09-21-2012, 10:03 AM
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Nap time issues are a HUGE pain. I think only daycare providers "get it". Parents have no clue...but, boy do they get upset when we let them sleep longer during the day. "Now he'll never go to sleep tonight".

I let all the kids watch TV or movies during nap time. Some sleep, some just watch the movie. They only have to be quiet long enough for the movie, then they can get up.
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Old 09-21-2012, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by youretooloud View Post
Nap time issues are a HUGE pain. I think only daycare providers "get it". Parents have no clue...but, boy do they get upset when we let them sleep longer during the day. "Now he'll never go to sleep tonight".

I let all the kids watch TV or movies during nap time. Some sleep, some just watch the movie. They only have to be quiet long enough for the movie, then they can get up.
I am having this issue now. The three boys I started can only "rest" with the tv on. However the other kids who I've had in my care since infants actually will not nap with the tv on. I worked hard to instill good sleep habits and it stuck
In the past if I had older kids who had outgrown the nap, *if* they could be quiet on the mat during the week, I would give them a Friday movie - away from the nappers. I hate putting on the tv to reward kids who are not being considerate.
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