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  #1  
Old 10-04-2012, 06:16 PM
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Angry Should I Have Called The Police?

So, I found out from my daughter's teacher that a mom from her old daycare came in, said she was my friend and tried to take my daughter out of the daycare! I don't really know this woman! Luckily, my daughter's teacher told her she couldn't take her because she wasn't on the pick up list and I never said she was picking her up. The woman got really up set and seemed shocked and the teacher told her to leave.

I got this lady's phone number and called her and threatened her and told her if she showed up again the police will be called. She acted shocked and said she wanted to take her to lunch. I told her we are NOT friends, our kids are NOT friends and to stay away from my child.

My husband thought about calling the police and pulling our daughter out of daycare. Of course I told her nope, she will stay there. But I am afraid if I call the police they will go to the daycare and cause a big stir and upset everyone. Plus, I already confronted the lady. I feel that because I confronted her and got my point across the police don't need to get involved. I think people are too willing to call the cops in certain situations if they can handle it themselves.

What do you guys think, as mothers and daycare providers?
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Old 10-04-2012, 06:20 PM
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heck yes you need to call AND the daycare should have called you and then called the police when they found you did not send the lady.
WHY because she is going to try to do it with another child somewhere. Ony a wacko prson would do that. One that was trying to take a child. Call now they need to get this lady on their radar.
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Old 10-04-2012, 06:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qpmomma View Post
So, I found out from my daughter's teacher that a mom from her old daycare came in, said she was my friend and tried to take my daughter out of the daycare! I don't really know this woman! Luckily, my daughter's teacher told her she couldn't take her because she wasn't on the pick up list and I never said she was picking her up. The woman got really up set and seemed shocked and the teacher told her to leave.

I got this lady's phone number and called her and threatened her and told her if she showed up again the police will be called. She acted shocked and said she wanted to take her to lunch. I told her we are NOT friends, our kids are NOT friends and to stay away from my child.

My husband thought about calling the police and pulling our daughter out of daycare. Of course I told her nope, she will stay there. But I am afraid if I call the police they will go to the daycare and cause a big stir and upset everyone. Plus, I already confronted the lady. I feel that because I confronted her and got my point across the police don't need to get involved. I think people are too willing to call the cops in certain situations if they can handle it themselves.

What do you guys think, as mothers and daycare providers?
I would never risk my child's safety. Call the police. This woman sounds like a complete but job.
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Old 10-04-2012, 06:22 PM
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I am a bit conflicted on the facts of not knowing the history of this person. Was she a destructive force at the other daycare or just someone that was an acquaintance? Maybe she thought you were friends when you were not?

Still, trying to take a child out of her surroundings without asking the parent is concerning to say the least. I think you did the right thing by confronting this person and put her on notice.
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  #5  
Old 10-04-2012, 06:32 PM
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We dropped off our kids together at the old daycare. I was always polite to her but didn't really like her. She used to make comments like "your daughter and my son are really great friends". My daughter is 2. When I called her she said she thought that because we were "friends" and our kids were "friends" that I would be ok with her picking her up and taking her to lunch.

I did talk to the teacher. She said she's never had to deal with anything like this in 18 years. She said she didn't really know what to do other than escort her out the door and not let her take my child. I told her if ANYONE came that was not on our pickup list to call me ASAP. I don't know if I should, but I am letting the daycare provider off the hook on that one. Was it a mistake? Yes, but the important thing is she didn't let her take my child.
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Old 10-04-2012, 07:02 PM
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Your dcp is awesome and deserves your thanks for keeping your child safe. You should tell her how much you appreciate her. And include flowers.
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Old 10-04-2012, 07:50 PM
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Your dcp is awesome and deserves your thanks for keeping your child safe. You should tell her how much you appreciate her. And include flowers.
I agree!

.....and yes! I would call the cops.
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Old 10-04-2012, 07:57 PM
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The only think I wish she would have done was call when it happened. Other than that I think she handled it VERY well. I did thank her for not letting her go. Her vacation is next week and I am thinking about giving her some extra "spending money", lol
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Old 10-04-2012, 08:54 PM
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Does this lady's child go to the same daycare as your child now? maybe she was thinking she would take them both to lunch?

Either way you make plans with the parents first. What a dumba$$!
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  #10  
Old 10-05-2012, 05:41 AM
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I would call the police, maybe not to press charges but to at least file a complaint. Some people are clueless -- she may need a call from the police to fill her in on how unacceptable this is. On the other hand, she may be crazy or a serious threat to any other children and should be on the radar, so to speak.

Technically, it's attempted abduction. That's pretty serious.

Your daycare provider did an awesome job. If I were her, I'd be worried about the safety of other children, and after hearing from you (and realizing this wasn't just a miscommunication or mis-guided relative), I'd probably call the police too. I would be worried for the safety of the other children in my care. It only takes a second for a child to disappear.
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBug View Post
I would call the police, maybe not to press charges but to at least file a complaint. Some people are clueless -- she may need a call from the police to fill her in on how unacceptable this is. On the other hand, she may be crazy or a serious threat to any other children and should be on the radar, so to speak.

Technically, it's attempted abduction. That's pretty serious.

Your daycare provider did an awesome job. If I were her, I'd be worried about the safety of other children, and after hearing from you (and realizing this wasn't just a miscommunication or mis-guided relative), I'd probably call the police too. I would be worried for the safety of the other children in my care. It only takes a second for a child to disappear.
I agree with what the above poster said...I would call the police and file a compliant that way if they would get another call about another child she would have a red flag!! Thank God your provider done her job right...We never know when we will come across someone "crazy"
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBug View Post
I would call the police, maybe not to press charges but to at least file a complaint. Some people are clueless -- she may need a call from the police to fill her in on how unacceptable this is. On the other hand, she may be crazy or a serious threat to any other children and should be on the radar, so to speak.

Technically, it's attempted abduction. That's pretty serious.

Your daycare provider did an awesome job. If I were her, I'd be worried about the safety of other children, and after hearing from you (and realizing this wasn't just a miscommunication or mis-guided relative), I'd probably call the police too. I would be worried for the safety of the other children in my care. It only takes a second for a child to disappear.
remember the tori case.

basically the girl was at school and a lady came and got the girl. She was supposedly friends with the mother (I think the mom bought a dog from this women) well it ended tragically and they are in jail.
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  #13  
Old 10-05-2012, 07:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qpmomma View Post
So, I found out from my daughter's teacher that a mom from her old daycare came in, said she was my friend and tried to take my daughter out of the daycare! I don't really know this woman! Luckily, my daughter's teacher told her she couldn't take her because she wasn't on the pick up list and I never said she was picking her up. The woman got really up set and seemed shocked and the teacher told her to leave.

I got this lady's phone number and called her and threatened her and told her if she showed up again the police will be called. She acted shocked and said she wanted to take her to lunch. I told her we are NOT friends, our kids are NOT friends and to stay away from my child.

My husband thought about calling the police and pulling our daughter out of daycare. Of course I told her nope, she will stay there. But I am afraid if I call the police they will go to the daycare and cause a big stir and upset everyone. Plus, I already confronted the lady. I feel that because I confronted her and got my point across the police don't need to get involved. I think people are too willing to call the cops in certain situations if they can handle it themselves.

What do you guys think, as mothers and daycare providers?
I would still call the police. As a daycare provider and mom who has a child in preschool, if anyone tried to take my daughter from school I would freak out. Especially if I didnt know them. I allow family members, and my best friend to pick up my daughter and thats it. Thats so scary! I wonder if she has done that before?
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:17 AM
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I also would file a report so there is a documened history for this woman.

Your DD may not be the only kid she tries this with. The next childs teacher may not be as smart.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:17 AM
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While I believe she should have called you IMMEDIATELY following what happened, she absolutely did the right thing. Yes you should file a report with the police. This way God forbid something does happen to your child or someone else's its's on file.

OT: Once at my former center I had a father (parents were divorced) call me out of the blue saying that his sister would be picking up the boy. I said okay. Yet something told me something wasn't right. I hadn't talked to the father in MONTHS. So I immediately called the mother, just to tell her that Aunt Jane will be picking up A.

Good thing I called. Mom was extremely uncomfortable. She said it was alright if the father picked up the boy but she wasn't on good terms blah blah blah with the aunt at all and that she was 5 mins away and would be picking up the boy.

The father was FURIOUS with me. He came barging into the center demanding to speak with me in private. I refused. I didn't care if he made a scene (the children were outside but parents were coming in and out) but I wanted it done in public.

He demanded to know why I involved the mother etc. I explained to him that his sister was not on the list plus I hadn't seen nor heard from him in who knows how long. He wanted to see the list. Then he was REALLY furious because HE wasn't on the list. He was yelling at me saying he was that child's father and blah blah. I said to him ANY man can come into that door stating that they are a child's father...doesn't mean I am going to release the child. He eventually calmed down after we discussed things.

I talked to the mother the following day and I told her point blank that I will NEVER deal with him again. She and only those SHE authorizes may come into the center or I will call the police.

Long story short: I never saw the father again and the boy went to kindergarten. Then I got a talking to from the director ( I was the Assistant) that I overreacted. I don't think I did. My job was to protect those children. If I had a "mother's intuition" then by jolly I am going to go with it!
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:58 AM
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This doesn't make a lot of sense to me....

Any mother I know, who had someone they don't even consider a friend try to take her child without permission out of her daycare, would have called the police immediately AND pressed charges without hesitation. They'd also follow that up with a restraining order.

The fact that you didn't OP, instead choosing to talk to the person who would have creeped and scared the daylights out of most mothers, leads me to believe there is more to this than is being disclosed.


I cannot imagine thinking, well, they weren't successful so that's all that matters! I'll drop it now!

NO. FLIPPING. WAY.


How did she even know where your child's new daycare was at?

How did she know that she'd be there at that time?

What do you mean when you say you dropped off your kids together at the old daycare?



And last, I don't understand how you are questioning if letting your provider "off the hook" in this was the right thing to do but that's exactly what you're doing with the woman who tried to take your child - that's so backwards!!!
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:15 AM
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Wow Willow is right. If the lady was from the old daycare, how did she know where the new daycare is, and when your daughter would be there, especially if you arent friends. That is super scary- I would be on the phone with the police right now.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:19 AM
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so much effort is going into providers making emergency plans lately. Not just for fire and storm but abduction. The provider did nothing wrong but she could have done better. I am sure she is thinking that now after the fact. It would be a good time for the center to update the emergency policies. AND the information should be shared with all other centers and family childcares in the area so they can update their policies.

Emergency policies work best when you plan ahead and review them often.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:52 AM
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I woudnt even do that with my upper elementary school age friends of my daughter that I have known since they were babies without asking! just weird!
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:03 AM
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We both came in t the same time every morning and dropped off our kids at the same time. We would be polite and talk in passing. I guess I am the only mom who talks with other moms? But I wouldn't consider her a friend.

When the old daycare was closing us moms wanted to know if the other ones had found a good place. So I told another mom and a teacher that my daughter was going to the dayare our director recomended. We all had the info on this daycare. In fact, another family decided to go there too. So I think what happend is the teacher said what daycare we decided to go with.

I'm not quick to bring the athorities into a situation if I can handle it myself. Maybe it was how I was raised. I don't know. I will go ahead and call my local PD to see what they recomend. I do care for my child's saftey 100%. But I can't give you a reason why I don't feel the need to call the police. I just don't feel like it's the right thing to do at this point.

I do appriciate your advice though.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:08 AM
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Please call your local PD........this lady does not seem to understand what normal boundaries are (that is the least it could be called) and to me, it would be considered an attempted abduction. Either way, she needs to understand the full ramifications of what she could be charged with.

Too scary!!!
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qpmomma View Post
We both came in t the same time every morning and dropped off our kids at the same time. We would be polite and talk in passing. I guess I am the only mom who talks with other moms? But I wouldn't consider her a friend.

When the old daycare was closing us moms wanted to know if the other ones had found a good place. So I told another mom and a teacher that my daughter was going to the dayare our director recomended. We all had the info on this daycare. In fact, another family decided to go there too. So I think what happend is the teacher said what daycare we decided to go with.

I'm not quick to bring the athorities into a situation if I can handle it myself. Maybe it was how I was raised. I don't know. I will go ahead and call my local PD to see what they recomend. I do care for my child's saftey 100%. But I can't give you a reason why I don't feel the need to call the police. I just don't feel like it's the right thing to do at this point.

I do appriciate your advice though.
just because you said something to this woman does not mean that it is resolved. How horrible are you going to feel if this woman does take your child or someone elses child, knowing that you had the chance to do something about it??

Also, why would a teacher tell other parents your private information??
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:08 PM
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just because you said something to this woman does not mean that it is resolved. How horrible are you going to feel if this woman does take your child or someone elses child, knowing that you had the chance to do something about it??
Exactly.




Restraining order.

Like, yesterday.
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:18 PM
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I would totally have called the police! That is very scary that a woman you barely know would try to take your child from daycare. That sounds like an attempted abduction to me! Thank God the teacher did not release your daughter to her.
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Old 10-06-2012, 07:03 PM
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The daycare provider did the right thing. I'm not sure I'd call the police if she didn't go up to the kid and try to grab her, but rather asked to take her instead, and the dc provider said "no". If the parent went up to your child and said "Hey come with me let's go to lunch" then NO WAY is that acceptable and in THAT case I would have called the cops. But I have had requests from people I didn't really know to come p/u children and I just say "you're not on the list, I cannot release the child" and that's that. I've never called the police because they never actually tried to say grab or influence the child to come with them.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:53 AM
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That would be kidnapping wouldn't it?

I don't care WHY someone thought they could take my child. Whether it's for lunch or to hide them in their basement... I would still consider it kidnapping and call the police.

It doesn't matter how well intentioned someone can try to explain the lady could possibly, maybe, sorta have inteneded the kidnapping. It's still kidnapping. It's not normal. Call. Even late, call.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:59 AM
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Now that I've thought about it more, I think you should be even more suspicious.

It's not like she saw your kids playing and said "sure, I'll take her home for her mom... blah blah blah."

She sought out a completely different centre, she SOUGHT your child out. SHE WENT in to that center SPECIFICALLY for YOUR child. She looked for and found your child!!!! Then she LIED to try to get access to your child.

SHE SOUGHT YOUR CHILD OUT SPECIFICALL, THEN LIED TO TRY TO GAIN ACCESS TO HER.
What normal, rational well intentioned person would EVER do that. EVER?

Whether we can understand her motives or not, these are the actions of a predator. Whether she thinks of herself as a predator, no matter how it could have turned out. She's lying to you or herself, because only a predator would go that far out of their way to find and access a child.
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Old 10-14-2012, 04:22 PM
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^NM (((((((((FILLER)))))))))))))) Found it
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