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  #1  
Old 04-06-2013, 09:15 PM
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Default Thought on "Redshirting"

What are your thoughts on redshirting, and what is the age cutoff in your neck of the woods? For those of you who don't know what this is I've included a link, there is a lot of information on the web about this.

http://www.sonomafamilylife.com/shou...-child-cms-181
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:24 PM
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It really depends on the child. We sent my son when he turned 5 an we truly regret it. His birthday is in aug and if he turned five now he would not be able to go as they have changed the cut off date too July here we held my dd back and are so happy we did she has a sept birthday
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:55 PM
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I think if a child is socially/academically ready you are handicapping them by holding them back. There was on mom at a daycare I used to work at that wanted to hold her son back a year only because she realized he would be 17 when he graduated instead of 18, and everyone in her family I guess was 18 when they graduated from high school and apparently everyone in her family is successful (success is relative), so she thought he wouldn't be successful if he graduated at age 17 instead of 18 (that was seriously her only reasoning for holding him back ). Me and most of my friends graduated when we were 17 (most of our birthdays were during the summer or early fall- one girl barely turned 18 on graduation day {she was so mad that she had to do grad practice and parties all day instead of celebrating her 18th birthday lol}) and we thought it was cool that we were mostly a young class. One of my friends was 19 when she graduated because she failed kindergarten and her birthday was in the beginning of the year (she was probably the oldest graduate). There was one girl who took summer classes so she could skip a grade, go to grad night with our class, and graduate with our class at 16 (I think she was the youngest grad).

If you hold them back now when they are ready and they are supposed to graduate at 18 after that but need to repeat a grade or two later on they may not graduate until 19 or 20. I think if the child is ready you shouldn't take that option away from them- after all they are the ones who have to live with it. I think that is one of the good things about going to daycare (and preschool weather you agree with weather it helps you later academically or not) is that it will help a child with socialization with other kids their age. One mom I used to housekeep and babysit for, her oldest son (about 4 at the time but now almost 6) was very smart. He knew all the things a child his age should know, and maybe more, academically (she was a stay at home mom and taught him) and he could have just gone straight to kindergarten when he turned 5. But the mom admitted that she was afraid when he went to kindergarten that he would have social problems and that is the only reason why she enrolled him at a local preschool.
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:13 PM
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Our cut-off for Kindergarten is 5 yrs by Sept 1st and 6 yrs by Sept 1st for first grade. My son's birthday is September 11th and he is a very bright little boy. I knew he would be bored if we didn't get him into school so we sent him to a private school in a neighboring city. (The cut-off there is Oct. 1st) Getting him into school was so important to us that we would have moved in order to get him enrolled this past year but ended up sending him to the nearby Catholic school even though we are not religious.

I have a huge problem with schools not having some sort of "grace period" when it comes to admitting children who just miss the cut-off date. I believe there should be assessments done on children who are within a month or so of that date if the parents believe that their child is ready. If it turns out that a child isn't ready, no harm done. They get held back a year and although they may have made some friends, chances are they aren't totally emotionally bonded with them. What happens to the children that start later who are advanced learners? In my experience it takes too long to skip a grade and by that point they may have already lost interest in school. I was given the Gifted and Talented test just before I entered high school. When I was told I could skip right into my freshman year, I turned them down. There was NO WAY I wanted to leave the friends that I had been with since Kindergarten. In my case, I wasn't held back and I started school when I was 4 so I was already the youngest in my class. I'm guessing that may have been the reason for the school department brushing off my parents' concerns about me not being challenged enough as a child. ? I would have been much better off had I skipped a year earlier on because I did end up being quite bored when I got to high school. (I should have moved when I had the chance though. Hindsight is always 20/20.)

I think that holding a child back for a year is completely up to each parent, but I personally don't believe that children should be held back just to "be the best at sports" or to "be the biggest kid in the class" or "get their driver's license before their peers". These are all things that I was told when I worried about my son not being able to start kindergarten when he turned 5. Parents should make that decision based on their child's academic ability and social skills.

If you haven't guessed- this was a big issue for my family this past year.
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Old 04-07-2013, 01:47 AM
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We're overseas and the department of defense (American public school) is seriously overcrowded. There are no transferring school districts- you go to the school you are residentially zoned for. The age cut-off is beginning of September and there are no waivers to start kindergarten even if the birthday is one day later.

While I think it stinks, I can see why the schools here do that. The problem is that there are very limited preschool options here unless your child is developmentally delayed or you want to shell out $600 a month for 8 hours a week.

I think if a child isn't socially ready for kindergarten, I see no reason why they need to be rushed into kindergarten. Thankfully my boys qualify for the developmental preschool (speech delays) and they go to the NAEYC accredited childcare center I work at so they're getting the fundamentals ready. If they weren't getting these, I could totally see them maybe not being ready socially for kindergarten right when they turn 5.
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Old 04-07-2013, 05:39 AM
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The cut-off here is December 31st I think. So we have a little more leeway. We also have junior kindergarten for 4 year olds. So my daughter could start JK the month before she turns 4. It's not mandatory, you don't need to start until grade one (6).

I don't think wanting your child to be the best at sports us a good reason to keep them out, I'm surprised people would do that at such a young age.
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Maddy'sMommy View Post
The cut-off here is December 31st I think. So we have a little more leeway. We also have junior kindergarten for 4 year olds. So my daughter could start JK the month before she turns 4. It's not mandatory, you don't need to start until grade one (6).

I don't think wanting your child to be the best at sports us a good reason to keep them out, I'm surprised people would do that at such a young age.
your right. all my kids went to jk and liked to be other kids.

but you know what I hear the most--people don't want to send their kid because their birthdays fall in oct, nov or dec. so they would be the youngest in the class, now how dumb is that.
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:44 AM
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What are your thoughts on redshirting, and what is the age cutoff in your neck of the woods? For those of you who don't know what this is I've included a link, there is a lot of information on the web about this.

http://www.sonomafamilylife.com/shou...-child-cms-181
We were just talking about this at a party last night. Two of the parents have red shirted - not for sports but because their kids (both boys) had October birthdays and they felt the extra year would help their maturity. One of the parents had another child (also a boy) with a July birthday that they had sent "on time" and have regretted it ever since.

Kindergarten here is not centers and play and nap time, it's full day academics. Our cutoff is December 1 - and our schools start the Wednesday or Thursday after Labor Day in September. That means there could be four year olds in Kindergarten because they make the cut off Most people forget that children do not have to start school until 6. Honestly, I've never heard of a parent regretting NOT sending their child the first year they could, but I have heard of many who regretted sending them.

I admire parents who red shirt for the right reasons - to give their kids another year to grow, mature, just be a kid - rather than send them too early because they don't want to pay for full time day care.
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:52 AM
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My son has a July birthday and, in hindsight, should have been held back for kindergarten. He was neither academically nor socially ready, and we had a very hard time for the first couple of years of school. Our youngest will be an even younger 5, so we'll have a hard decision to make when it's his turn.

Every child is different, though, and I think parents should definitely consider their own child's strengths and weaknesses.

I was alarmed that one of the criteria mentioned in the article was whether or not a parent is "ready to let their child go". How selfish! Do parents actually hold back their developmentally ready children from starting kindergarten because they don't want to be without them yet?
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Old 04-07-2013, 07:12 AM
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From what I understood, there's a difference between holding a child back because they were truly not ready and "redshirting".

Kids who are "redshirted" are mostly boys, who are held back purposely, whether they were mature enough or not, so they would have a competitive edge over the other children who started at the traditional age. The parents want their kids to be bigger, better at sports and more advanced academically. If they weren't that way naturally, the parents see no problem with giving them an artificial boost.

I recommended all but one of my kids for regular kindergarten next year. Even the one with the September birthday. The only problem I see they may face is the overly academic-ness of kindergarten these days vs. the more play-based structure of Pre-K. But I dont see how another year of Pre-K will remedy that. The only child I'm advising against going to K still has multiple potty accidents, cannot remember simple directions long enough to carry them out, and is still inappropriately impulsive IMO.

From what I can tell, what many kindergarten teachers have run into as far as "not ready" is kids not being able to sit quietly for more than a couple minutes, not being used to doing things for themselves and not being able to manage toileting yet. Not so much being unable to handle the academic work.

I don't know. Sometimes its truly beneficial and others its just what you do to keep up with the fads.
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Old 04-07-2013, 07:20 AM
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I'm also not sure how that would work here, I'm pretty sure if you enrolled at 6 you would still be put in Grade 1, even if you didn't do kindergarten, because its not required.
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Old 04-07-2013, 07:21 AM
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I have a problem both with the term "red-shirting" and with the term "holding back" because I don't think they describe all of the reasons why a parent might choose to wait an extra year to send their child to kindergarten.

My son has a late summer birthday, and although he's nowhere near kindergarten age yet, I know that we will have a careful decision to make when it's time to enroll him.

We probably will wait to enroll him until he is 6, or I will home school him for kindergarten.

Here, kindergarten is a full day of desk work and test prep. Recess is only 20 minutes long. I have serious concerns about sending a very young 5 year old to that environment. As smart as any child may be, it is the rare 5 year old who can handle all of that and still come out excited and motivated about school.

I don't like "red-shirt" because I'm not trying to give my son a competitive edge. I don't like "holding back," because it carries a stigma, and I don't want him to hear he was "held back" and believe it was because he was unintelligent.

I just don't want to burn out a child so early in such an intense environment. I don't think the way K is done here is best for young kids. I'd rather see him in a play-based half-day kindergarten with a nice, long recess.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:32 AM
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We actually had to make this choice with our youngest. He started full-day kindy in CA and the cutoff was in December. His birthday is in October so he was 4 when he started. Because my husband is in the military we knew it was only a matter of time before we moved somewhere else where he would have not even been able to start school when he did and would be much younger than the other kids. We spent time talking with the kindy teacher our second child had. She did an assessment on him and really encouraged us to go ahead and start him at 4. Academically he already exceeded everything they would need to learn in kindy. Socially he is a bit young, but it is absolutely his personality rather than his age. He loves being the little boy clown and he honestly does not care when other people think he is even younger than he is. He is doomed to be short forever. He is always the shortest boy and usually only 1 or maybe 2 girls are shorter. At 5 when he started first grade he was reading on a 3rd grade level (and has just gone up) and was doing multiplication at home.

We aren't worried about his size. His dad was always the small kid and he is now a Marine who can take guys twice his size and 10 years younger any day of the week (and loves to show off by doing it). We aren't worried about him being socially younger since that is just his personality and being held back wouldn't have changed it.

We also had to consider this for our 2nd child who has a summer birthday and learning disabilities. The best advice I ever got from a teacher is that when worried academically for a child, it is better to start them on time which allows more options for repeating an early grade if necessary for academic reasons without impacting the child socially. We came very close to having her repeat 1st grade, but luckily with special ed, OT, speech, and other support from the school she is now doing very well in 3rd grade.

I say each situation and each child is unique and there is no black and white answer. I can't imagine ever holding back my child simply to gain a size advantage, however.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:32 AM
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I think it all depends on the rules for where you live - in my town a child is required to be 5 by August 1st to start Kindergarten. My son was not 5 until the 10th so we followed the rules. He was really ready academically so technically he could have gone (although it was agains the rules but if we had a choice he could have); however, I believe it helped him a ton socially by not being in K right after he turned 5. As a result he is now a straight A 5th grader who is in advanced Math (takes 6th grade math). Would it have happened if he entered K a year earlier? I don't know, possibly but "sitting" it out definitely didn't harm him!
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:42 AM
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I know someone that's been a Kindergarten teacher for 25+ years. She highly recommends it for boys. She has never seen a parent regret it.

My personal opinion is that at 5, a 6 month age difference can be huge as far as maturity levels. If you have a summer or early fall baby, you might consider holding him/her back until the next year.

It does totally depend on the child. Firsties tend to be less mature than 2nd and 3rd children.
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Old 04-07-2013, 09:14 AM
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I kept my kids out for a year. They wouldn't have done well being the youngest in the classroom.

The cutoff here is August 30th. "Five before September". One district has a "Five by December" and they have a high dropout rate, and a low success rate. The districts that have a Five by September rule have a better overall group.

The teachers are spending less time coddling the kids, and more time with kids who are ready to be there.
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Old 04-07-2013, 09:24 AM
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It's a very personal choice, depending on the child. Some are more than ready for Kindergarten and some are not ready at all.
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Old 04-07-2013, 10:07 AM
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The teachers are spending less time coddling the kids, and more time with kids who are ready to be there.
My child started at 4 but did not need to be coddled. He arrived at school excited every day and still does. His behavior has always been exemplary; his kindergarten teacher awarded him "super blue" for behavior above and beyond merely staying on green each day so often that she gave him a "super blue forever" award at the end of the year. He interacts well with his friends and has never once had an issue being away from me. He did announce that he was going to be sick on the day of the upcoming play but that is because he was given the primary speaking part since he is the best reader in the class. While he is hilarious among people he knows, he gets shy when strangers are looking at him.

I personally feel that it depends on the unique circumstances as it pertains to each individual child and family.
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Old 04-07-2013, 10:47 AM
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It's a very personal choice, depending on the child. Some are more than ready for Kindergarten and some are not ready at all.
This is what it all boils down to.

I was held back the year and was BORED AS HECK all through school. As a result I often did poorly because the work I was being asked to do was so beneath my abilities it was unreal, so I just rushed through it or didn't do it at all.

My son turned 5 August 9th and started kindy less than a month later. I was concerned about it but his k evaluators said he tested well above the requirements and like me would likely be incredibly bored if I held him back another year. Was tough because he is my "baby" but I see now it was the right decision based of his needs.

Anyone that sacrifices academic/social needs for athletic advantage is seriously hurting their child and has messed up priorities imho, but in the end it is their choice.
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Old 04-07-2013, 11:20 AM
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I agree with PPs that it's a personal choice based on the needs of a child, or at least it should be. I had a friend decided to wait a year (her DS's bday was just before the cut off) not because he wasn't ready but because she wasn't "ready for him to grow up yet"

Honestly I was a bit surprised to read that the rate of kids being "held back" or "redshirting" has increased in the last few years, it seems to me that more and more parents think kids need to be in schools or education programs earlier
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Old 04-07-2013, 12:13 PM
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I also find that interesting considering our District has just decided to make our Kindy full time instead of half day - after polling the incoming parents.

They think they are getting "free" - but just wait until the new tax bills come out.
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Old 04-07-2013, 12:44 PM
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I also find that interesting considering our District has just decided to make our Kindy full time instead of half day - after polling the incoming parents.

They think they are getting "free" - but just wait until the new tax bills come out.
We have free, full day pre-K and full day kindergarten, as well as subsidized day care and after school care ( starting at 6 weeks) for all school district employees. We also have the highest tax rates in our part of the state.
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Old 04-07-2013, 05:19 PM
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We have free, full day pre-K and full day kindergarten, as well as subsidized day care and after school care ( starting at 6 weeks) for all school district employees. We also have the highest tax rates in our part of the state.
Shall we compare $$ to $$? Must PM you! haha!
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Old 04-07-2013, 05:42 PM
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I also find that interesting considering our District has just decided to make our Kindy full time instead of half day - after polling the incoming parents.

They think they are getting "free" - but just wait until the new tax bills come out.
Our K is all-day (9-3) & I believe it is fairly common now to have all-day; we don't pay any fees as it is the only choice.
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:02 PM
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your right. all my kids went to jk and liked to be other kids.

but you know what I hear the most--people don't want to send their kid because their birthdays fall in oct, nov or dec. so they would be the youngest in the class, now how dumb is that.
IK right. By the time they hit high school they will probably be wishing the parents would have just sent them a year earlier (if that was an option) so they could finish school a year earlier- that's what I don't get about parents who wait when the child is ready. Plus in some community colleges (the town I used to live in did this) if you are under 18 you can take college credit classes for free (may still have to pay registration fee and for books & materials but not for units) even if they only graduate a semester before they turn 18 they can still get a full-time semester of school for free- better than having to pay $46 per unit.

Also the whole athletically ready thing some people are using to justify, it isn't a good excuse either because kids these days are going through puberty earlier- even boys who tend to be late bloomers. Almost all of the boys in my elementary school had mustaches before 6th grade.
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:26 PM
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It's a very personal choice, depending on the child. Some are more than ready for Kindergarten and some are not ready at all.
I agree. My sister's son's bday is Sept 20, which meant she had to campaign to get him accepted early. He is now a 7th grader and is exactly where he's supposed to be.

My own son is 3 weeks younger, a head shorter, and a completely different kid. He's just as bright, but....different. Much less mature socially. He's a 6th grader, and he's right were he should be.
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Old 04-07-2013, 10:57 PM
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I had to let my oldest (now 15,going on 16) start school when he was 5,going on 6. His BD is Sept 2ND,and the cut off is the 1ST. I had it already planned out before he was even school aged,that I would help him academically,early on just IN CASE he ever had any struggles,and to help prevent him from having too much of a hard time in school. I'm glad I did. He just seemed like the kind of toddler that gave me the feeling that he needed this extra help from early on. So him starting kindergarten at nearly 6, did not bother me. I used workbooks, life experiences, teaching him as much as I could (abc,counting,colors,how to write,etc..) ,as well as placing him in private pre-K and daycare well before he could start kindergarten. I feel my own involvement in combination with his daycare&private pre-K experience helped him greatly and made a huge difference . He became a sweet,well behaved boy who made straight A's until he reached fourth grade. He has maintained honor roll,to a few C's. But works VERY hard at school. He has to work longer&harder to get the good grades. If he were in a higher grade,he would probably be drowning in struggles. So he NEEDED that extra year.

Taught #2 as much as I could the early years,before pre-K. He was advanced in motor skills,and everything he did from infancy. (crawling at 5 months,walking by 1,using utensils by 1) He was only placed in pre-K outside my home,because I wanted to work from home,and also have time to teach my 3RD child during HER early years (she is two years younger).

I went on to continue teaching her all the way through kindergarten myself. Both my middle children (#2 & #3) now 7&9 have been tested for the gifted program at their elementary school. They are both popular in their grades/school with no issues making friends and are loved by their teachers.
Both of them had birthdays, within 2 months of cut off month, so were/are younger in each of their classes. They both are at an advantage. Not only naturally smart that i did my best with nurturing, but entered school young.

They both had teachers hoping to get them in their classrooms the following year,after school ended (these teachers told me so) . They are above average in both reading & math and was in the advanced math&reading classes when those classes were offered. She reads at a fourth grade level.
I think if the child is behind socially, to not move them up and also make sure you have ways of nurturing their need to learn at a higher level (if they are extra smart).
My two middle kids who excelled in everything early on, would probably be more challenged if they were both in higher grades right now. I think they would even do fine with kids 1-2 years older than them,since they do so well socially right now,are popular and make friends so easily. But They are not bored in school,and enjoy the grade level they are each in. And since they make honor roll/straight A's ,I will leave well alone ;-) I'm sure by high school they will be glad that it won't be too,too hard. Hopefully.

I agree that it can also be bad for the child if he/she is ready to learn at an earlier age. I had a 2 yr old in my home 4 years ago. By the time he was 3, between his parents&I, he knew all his letters,letter sounds,how to count to 20 by heart,and how to count to 100,looking at the numbers chart. He was already practicing to write letters on paper too,could cut,and color. He cried when my son got on the bus,because he wanted to go to school too. I felt bad for him,because he was not only super smart but his birthday was after the cut off,just like with my oldest. And he could have benefited from going to school EARLIER despite being younger,and not getting to start school until a year later. So I agree, some kids can still be advanced,even if they are a year younger.
I also don't agree all kids are one size fits all. Some can't excel in a regular school environment. Some do fine.
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Old 04-07-2013, 11:04 PM
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I think school/school teachers in the early years (pre-K/Kindergarten) are great for parents who don't have the skills themselves or capabilities (like working FT and don't have the time) to teach their child all the things a teacher thinks they should know. Like sitting still for story time,etc.. A mom is just as capable of teaching her child these things! That was my point above,when writing about how I taught my kids in those early years. My daughter never even went to kindergarten but when she went to first grade in a classroom setting her teacher said she was on target,if not above the other students,and above average. She was NOT lacking in these skills that some teachers assume kids will lack if the child doesn't attend pre-K or kindergarten.
Same for my son, my other middle child. Each child is different. Some will need more "school" and some will need less,and do fine from mom only type of teaching. You just have to be good at knowing the child and his abilities,including life skills,like sitting still,being patient,etc..
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Old 04-07-2013, 11:39 PM
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The cut off is sept 30th here. I don't know anyone who has held their child back from going to school except my cousin but that was in the early 90's. I don't see a reason why i would hold my kids back from starting school.
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:18 AM
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Academics aren't the problem - it's maturity level.
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:58 AM
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My oldest is Dec 20 (our cutoff is 4 by Dec 31) so he started school in September at 3 years 8 months. He had a hard time and kept saying to the teacher "why do I have to do this? I have paint at home, I have playdough at home etc.) He knew I was home with the daycare and little brother. We ended up picking him up at lunch so he only did half days. He still needed his nap and we had that luxury since I was home.

He is finishing his undergraduate degree right now at 21 and will be starting a Masters in September turning 22 in December.

My second son was a February baby who missed the cut-off by just over a month. He did a year of JK in a JK/SK class and went straight to first grade with the SK kids since he was more than ready.

He is in second year of university now at 19.

Our daughter was an August baby so she has always been the "right" age by the first day of school.

Other than our first son feeling a bit ripped off from mummy time we didn't have an issue with the kids being young at school.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by pandamom View Post
We're overseas and the department of defense (American public school) is seriously overcrowded. There are no transferring school districts- you go to the school you are residentially zoned for. The age cut-off is beginning of September and there are no waivers to start kindergarten even if the birthday is one day later.

While I think it stinks, I can see why the schools here do that. The problem is that there are very limited preschool options here unless your child is developmentally delayed or you want to shell out $600 a month for 8 hours a week.

I think if a child isn't socially ready for kindergarten, I see no reason why they need to be rushed into kindergarten. Thankfully my boys qualify for the developmental preschool (speech delays) and they go to the NAEYC accredited childcare center I work at so they're getting the fundamentals ready. If they weren't getting these, I could totally see them maybe not being ready socially for kindergarten right when they turn 5.

My niece was raised in Reilingen and went to the local German schools from K-10. She moved back here at 16 and entered college.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:45 AM
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I feel that it really depends on the child.

One of my former DCGs missed the Dec 1 cut-off by a week. She was more than ready, already reading and writing. The principal wouldn't budge even the K teachers said she was ready. Halfway through K, they called the mom in and said they wanted to move her to 1st as she was too far ahead of the rest of the class. (Mom is a 1st grade teacher and knew she was advanced, and still is in highschool.)

Boy down the street was held back, May bd. He started K this year. Two weeks in, the principal wanted him moved to 1st. Mom disagreed but did it. He has been struggling with behavioral issues all year. He was not really ready for 1st. He may end up repeating 1st.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:48 AM
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My son's b-day is Aug. 15th, and the cut off is Sept. 1st. I tossed and turned thinking about my decision. He went to preschool for 2 years, so he would have yet another year of preschool if we held him back and just didn't how that would help. Kindergarten is only 1/2 days for us. We did everything we could to get him both socially & academically ready. The preschool teachers said 'he's ready!', but I was on the fence deciding if he was ready socially. We put him in Kindergarten and he thrived - he's in 2nd grade now, his grades are excellent, and he's finding his way socially - teachers are happy with his participation. Sometimes I wish I held him back just so he could have more confidence in himself (most kids are taller, faster, stronger) and I think he may be more intimidated? I worry about bullying from other kids (been fine so far). However, this also makes him work a little harder to catch up.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:52 AM
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I am holding my DS back a year for MANY reasons and for him it is definitely the right thing to do. My DD is another story, we wanted to hold her back because her bday is the exact cutoff date. She is the youngest in her class and it shows...We were not able to hold her back because we lived in a different state with different rules, now that we have moved it is an option for DS. I do think DD will even out with her peers over the next couple of years but it's been a struggle and I wish we could have held her back.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:31 AM
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My dd has a late August birthday and I've never regretted starting her on time. She was ready academically. She is the youngest in her class, but you'd never know it. She will be 9 this summer and 5ft tall, I couldn't imagine how she would have towered over the other kids had we decided to wait, of course if she had needed the extra time we would have done so.

I do believe the only reason a child should be "held back" is for academic reasons, maturity and social skills will be learned over time.
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Old 04-08-2013, 11:40 AM
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My dd has a late August birthday and I've never regretted starting her on time. She was ready academically. She is the youngest in her class, but you'd never know it. She will be 9 this summer and 5ft tall, I couldn't imagine how she would have towered over the other kids had we decided to wait, of course if she had needed the extra time we would have done so.

I do believe the only reason a child should be "held back" is for academic reasons, maturity and social skills will be learned over time.
I think a child who lacks the maturity or social skills to navigate the classroom is at a severe disadvantage. Like it or not the teacher will be comparing this child to students who, in some cases, are nearly a year older then them. Add to that the strong potential for the child to be ostracized by peers because of it, and it makes for a tough year (or more).

Admittedly I am somewhat bias as in my neck of the woods parents can't wait to send kids to "free school" ready or not. K is all day here so a huge savings over day care.
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Old 04-09-2013, 10:10 PM
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It must to taken child by child.

I will say that my twins are in high school and they have a friend in their grade who is 364 days older than them. As in their birthday is June 17 1998 and his is June 18 1997. The mom is always bragging about what an athlete he is and is so proud that he is in the the Talented and Gifted program. I will be honest.....when my twins could outrun their friend (who was an entire year older) I was happy for them. When they get better grades than him I'm proud. It feels like he is cheating to me. This friend couldn't outrun the children that are in the grade that he should have been in and he wouldn't have been TAG if he had been placed in that class. Judging by the amount of bragging from the uber athletic competitive parents I suspect that having that competitive edge was a significant reason behind holding him back a year. I dont think they wanted their only son to be just average in his grade level. His birthday is 2 1/2 months away from the cut off date, I can hardly believe the school district allowed it.

I think the reason why it bugged me so much when they were younger is that they boy would boast about his athleticism and it made my boys who were in their PROPER grade level feel bad.
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Old 04-10-2013, 08:51 AM
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It must to taken child by child.

I will say that my twins are in high school and they have a friend in their grade who is 364 days older than them. As in their birthday is June 17 1998 and his is June 18 1997. The mom is always bragging about what an athlete he is and is so proud that he is in the the Talented and Gifted program. I will be honest.....when my twins could outrun their friend (who was an entire year older) I was happy for them. When they get better grades than him I'm proud. It feels like he is cheating to me. This friend couldn't outrun the children that are in the grade that he should have been in and he wouldn't have been TAG if he had been placed in that class. Judging by the amount of bragging from the uber athletic competitive parents I suspect that having that competitive edge was a significant reason behind holding him back a year. I dont think they wanted their only son to be just average in his grade level. His birthday is 2 1/2 months away from the cut off date, I can hardly believe the school district allowed it.

I think the reason why it bugged me so much when they were younger is that they boy would boast about his athleticism and it made my boys who were in their PROPER grade level feel bad.

There was a study a few years back that addressed this. IIRC, the gist was that in Kindergarten and First grades, the smartest child in the class was *usually* the oldest child in the class. By Third grade, the smartest child in the class was the smartest child in the class - meaning that the younger kids caught up to their older peers by that time.
In my area I have to say I think most parents are holding their child back for the right reasons - they believe the child will struggle academically or socially if they send them and it might cause the child to have serious issues with school that last. I've never heard any of the parents I know who have kept their child out a year say anything about sports, etc.
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Old 04-10-2013, 09:50 AM
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I really think it depends on the child. I have 2 July kids and one October. My oldest daughter is July and she was in private school when she entered kindergarten. She needed to be assessed first. I was told she was borderline ready and it was my choice to put her in or not. I did and she never had a problem at school. She is a senior in high school and a straight A student. Now my second daughter also July birhtday but only a few days before my oldest was not ready for kinder but I thought let me try and the teachers should let me know if she is ok. I soooo regret starting her a 5. She is In 6th grade now and struggles.

So with my son having an October birthday I had decided to wait. He is really smart and pro robot would have been ready for kinder but I wanted hat extra year of growth for him. Besides here in California they started a new program called transitional kindergarten. That's for kids whose birthdays are between September 1st and December 1st. I had an option to put him in this program since its still new. Let me tell you I'm glad I did and he will be super ready for kindy and he has matured so much in the last few months.
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Old 04-10-2013, 03:27 PM
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Yes like I said it needs to be taken case by case. Most of my kids are older, ranging in age from 18 to 1. so I have seen both sides. My twins are young for their class and have done just fine and my oldest has an early Sept birthday so he is among the oldest if you don't count the bus loads of BOYS who were held back.

I have also seen my neighbor who worked from home put her late August birthday boys in school right on schedule. We have a Sept 1 cut off. They were both immature and not ready academically. They were easily the youngest in their class. They are both in high school now and they still struggle.

I will say when you hold kids back a year that means that they are 18 their entire Senior year of high school. If the child is prone to drama or sassiness you might hear the ever lovely "you can't tell me what to do. I'm 18". We haven't dealt with this but we have seen friends whose kids pull that one.

I think parents consider the kindergarten/elementary student when they decide whether or not to hold their child back when eventually they grow into high school students. SOMETIMES the decision can backfire when the child realizes that he has a false confidence because he hasn't been competing on a level playing field.

I think about that boy I mentioned in the earlier post and after all of the years of his boasting about his heighth, grades, and athleticism some of his classmates told him that he should try competing against kids his own AGE. And that they could compete against kids a year younger and of course win. When this child got old enough to play competitive club soccer and baseball were the tryouts go strictly by age he wasn't able to make the 1st level or 2nd level teams with kids his own age even after all of the boasting. In the end he chose not to play if he was going to have to play on the 3rd string team with kids his own age. He had told that he had been SUPER DUPER his whole life and didn't want to play if he wasn't going to be the star of the team. I feel like in the long run the decision to hold back this particular child may have been short sighted.

Last edited by Live and Learn; 04-10-2013 at 03:29 PM. Reason: Spelling
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