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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>A Child Who Repeats Over And Over
WImom 05:54 AM 03-08-2011
I've never had a child (will be 3y in April) that did this before to this extent anyways..
Is this just a phase or are there some tips to what I can say to her to lesson this?
A few examples (I could go on and on but I won't)
In my bathroom at christmas I had a reindeer that hung on the door knob. I took it off middle of december because it was distracting them from washing hands. EVERYTIME we are in the bathroom (3-4 times a day) she asks where the reindeer is. I tell her I put it in the basement until next christmas. She still asks me and it's March. I finally told her we aren't going to talk about the reindeer anymore. (I felt mean but I didn't know what else to say)
At meal times if she tells me she's done (I have them do that so I can clean them up before they leave the table) and I say Okay, I'll be right there. She will continue saying "Miss ____, I'm done!" every 10 seconds or so until I'll there. (Even if I repeat my self). Or if I tell everyone that the food is all gone when they ask for more (After they have had 2nd's) she will continue to ask for more.
She also repeats alot (WHen I'm reading books out loud she will repeat things I say on each page, if I tell her "____, isn't here today" she will ask me that 5-6 more times that day.
Is this just a phase or are there some tips to what I can say to her to lesson this?
A few examples (I could go on and on but I won't)
In my bathroom at christmas I had a reindeer that hung on the door knob. I took it off middle of december because it was distracting them from washing hands. EVERYTIME we are in the bathroom (3-4 times a day) she asks where the reindeer is. I tell her I put it in the basement until next christmas. She still asks me and it's March. I finally told her we aren't going to talk about the reindeer anymore. (I felt mean but I didn't know what else to say)
At meal times if she tells me she's done (I have them do that so I can clean them up before they leave the table) and I say Okay, I'll be right there. She will continue saying "Miss ____, I'm done!" every 10 seconds or so until I'll there. (Even if I repeat my self). Or if I tell everyone that the food is all gone when they ask for more (After they have had 2nd's) she will continue to ask for more.
She also repeats alot (WHen I'm reading books out loud she will repeat things I say on each page, if I tell her "____, isn't here today" she will ask me that 5-6 more times that day.
missnikki 06:21 AM 03-08-2011
Oh, that seems a bit excessive. How is she otherwise, developmentally?
jen 06:26 AM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
I've never had a child (will be 3y in April) that did this before to this extent anyways..
Is this just a phase or are there some tips to what I can say to her to lesson this?
A few examples (I could go on and on but I won't)
In my bathroom at christmas I had a reindeer that hung on the door knob. I took it off middle of december because it was distracting them from washing hands. EVERYTIME we are in the bathroom (3-4 times a day) she asks where the reindeer is. I tell her I put it in the basement until next christmas. She still asks me and it's March. I finally told her we aren't going to talk about the reindeer anymore. (I felt mean but I didn't know what else to say)
At meal times if she tells me she's done (I have them do that so I can clean them up before they leave the table) and I say Okay, I'll be right there. She will continue saying "Miss ____, I'm done!" every 10 seconds or so until I'll there. (Even if I repeat my self). Or if I tell everyone that the food is all gone when they ask for more (After they have had 2nd's) she will continue to ask for more.
She also repeats alot (WHen I'm reading books out loud she will repeat things I say on each page, if I tell her "____, isn't here today" she will ask me that 5-6 more times that day.
Is she looking for attention? All these questions create a scenario for you to engage her. The "I'm done" thing, I have seen ALOT. Usually in kids who don't have siblings yet, they haven't quite grasped why they have to wait, so they just repeat.I've never had a child (will be 3y in April) that did this before to this extent anyways..
Is this just a phase or are there some tips to what I can say to her to lesson this?
A few examples (I could go on and on but I won't)
In my bathroom at christmas I had a reindeer that hung on the door knob. I took it off middle of december because it was distracting them from washing hands. EVERYTIME we are in the bathroom (3-4 times a day) she asks where the reindeer is. I tell her I put it in the basement until next christmas. She still asks me and it's March. I finally told her we aren't going to talk about the reindeer anymore. (I felt mean but I didn't know what else to say)
At meal times if she tells me she's done (I have them do that so I can clean them up before they leave the table) and I say Okay, I'll be right there. She will continue saying "Miss ____, I'm done!" every 10 seconds or so until I'll there. (Even if I repeat my self). Or if I tell everyone that the food is all gone when they ask for more (After they have had 2nd's) she will continue to ask for more.
She also repeats alot (WHen I'm reading books out loud she will repeat things I say on each page, if I tell her "____, isn't here today" she will ask me that 5-6 more times that day.
SandeeAR 06:29 AM 03-08-2011
My 2.5 y/o says "huh?'" after just about anything I say. It has become a habit and I just ignore her. If I have ask a question, once I ignore her, she usually answers me. She heard me the first time, it has just become a habit and others are playing into it. I choose to ignore it. Surprise, Surprise, the "huh?" has lessened at my house.
jen 06:33 AM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
My 2.5 y/o says "huh?'" after just about anything I say. It has become a habit and I just ignore her. If I have ask a question, once I ignore her, she usually answers me. She heard me the first time, it has just become a habit and others are playing into it. I choose to ignore it. Surprise, Surprise, the "huh?" has lessened at my house.
LOL! My dd does that too. Same thing, no response to "what?" in her case and she answers my orginal question.My 2.5 y/o says "huh?'" after just about anything I say. It has become a habit and I just ignore her. If I have ask a question, once I ignore her, she usually answers me. She heard me the first time, it has just become a habit and others are playing into it. I choose to ignore it. Surprise, Surprise, the "huh?" has lessened at my house.
youretooloud 06:34 AM 03-08-2011
At home, this may work for her. Perhaps her parents will go find more food if she keeps asking. It's like the child who throws a fit at your house, even if it doesn't work at your house, it might work at home.
She may also have some processing disorder, where she really doesn't understand the concept of "all gone", or "all done". So, she keeps asking.
She may also have some processing disorder, where she really doesn't understand the concept of "all gone", or "all done". So, she keeps asking.
missnikki 06:35 AM 03-08-2011
Does no one else see the reindeer comment? That one vexed me the most. The other stuff sounds annoying and you all might be right about it, but 4 months about a reindeer?
marniewon 06:38 AM 03-08-2011
My almost 3 year old grand daughter does the same thing and has since she could talk. She does the "huh" and "what" even though she heard me. She also repeats everything a million times.
Me: blow on the fries, they might be hot
H: they hot? are they hot? are the fries hot? mom. mom. (she calls almost all females "mom") are they hot, are the fries hot? mom? (and it goes on and on, but you get the idea)
Me: yes, H, they are hot.
lather, rinse, repeat
H: Poppa, play playdough with me?
DH: Yep, I'll play playdough (as he's sitting down playing playdough)
H: Poppa, play playdough? Gonna play playdough with me? Poppa? Play playdough with me?
on and on and on
She is a smart girl and right where she should be developmentally and physically. She just likes to talk.
We do a lot of ignoring, after answering the question the first time. I've had others in my care who do this also. I think it's the age and completely normal for some kids.
Me: blow on the fries, they might be hot
H: they hot? are they hot? are the fries hot? mom. mom. (she calls almost all females "mom") are they hot, are the fries hot? mom? (and it goes on and on, but you get the idea)
Me: yes, H, they are hot.
lather, rinse, repeat
H: Poppa, play playdough with me?
DH: Yep, I'll play playdough (as he's sitting down playing playdough)
H: Poppa, play playdough? Gonna play playdough with me? Poppa? Play playdough with me?
on and on and on
She is a smart girl and right where she should be developmentally and physically. She just likes to talk.
We do a lot of ignoring, after answering the question the first time. I've had others in my care who do this also. I think it's the age and completely normal for some kids.
jen 06:42 AM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by missnikki:
Does no one else see the reindeer comment? That one vexed me the most. The other stuff sounds annoying and you all might be right about it, but 4 months about a reindeer?
I did notice the reindeer comment. I don't think the dck is actually focusing on the the reindeer itself, she knows where it went, but wants to create a conversation to engage the OP...since it has been working, she keeps on doing it. It wouldn't really alarm me, mostly because it appears she quit doing it once she was told that they weren't going to talk about the reindeer anymore.Does no one else see the reindeer comment? That one vexed me the most. The other stuff sounds annoying and you all might be right about it, but 4 months about a reindeer?
morgan24 06:45 AM 03-08-2011
I had one like that. Started him when he was 2 and he moved on last year. That was the longest 2 years with a kid. I think he did it because he was babied so bad by his parent. If his Mom was talking to me and he interrupted she let him talk, then she finished what she had to say. I think he kept repeating things over and over because I listened the first time and after that I didn't respond, because it got old. An example is me asking what color play-doh he would like, if he said yellow and I gave it to him, that's all he said then was I have yellow play-doh, look I have yellow play-doh. The other kids got tired of it to and started to ignore him. He did the same thing yours does at lunch keeps asking for more after being told it's gone. There wasn't anything wrong with him except he wasn't the center of attention all the time here. I would ignore it.
treehugger82 06:59 AM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by missnikki:
Does no one else see the reindeer comment? That one vexed me the most. The other stuff sounds annoying and you all might be right about it, but 4 months about a reindeer?
Does no one else see the reindeer comment? That one vexed me the most. The other stuff sounds annoying and you all might be right about it, but 4 months about a reindeer?
I know exactly! Just reading this thread.....my niece does this too, and I started to realize it is a way to get individual attention in a house full of kids with one adult (she is an only child at home)....so I just ignore what she said, and keep going about whatever we are doing. IF she asks why I am ignoring her question, I say, because I already told you. She has stopped a lot of that for the most part, but it is encouraged (unknowingly, I think) at home, so it does happen sometimes.
missnikki 07:10 AM 03-08-2011
Fair enough. It's been a little while since I've worked with that age... which is why I rarely comment in those threads....
I'm here for the older kids ?'s, you all are better at the youngers...
I'm here for the older kids ?'s, you all are better at the youngers...
sahm2three 07:48 AM 03-08-2011
I have a few that do the same thing! I have a 2 year old that will repeat things over and over and over and over again, even after I have answered him. It's like he doesn't hear me when I tell him because he is too busy talking! Then I have a 6 year old who just tells me the same story all the time. Both instances drive me bonkers! If I have answered the 2 year old and he keeps repeating, I just ignore him and he stops. Or one of the other kids tells him to stop! LOL! The 6 year old, I half listen and do the uh huh thing. What else can you do?! I have tried telling him that he has told me that story a few times, but he must just really really like them! LOL! Good luck!
daycare 07:59 AM 03-08-2011
a lot of my kids repeat things over and over all the time. I think that it is more of an attention thing. They just want to be heard. When the kids do things like this I do one of two things. ignor them, if they are doing it for attention....EX: constantly saying Im done, Im done, Im done.. I will ignor this type of behavior..
The other situation that you were talking about, I would be impressed that they can rememer something from so long ago and I would encourage to further the conversation about it. Talk about what she would do if she had a reindeer, what would you name it, where would it live, and so on.
Sometimes parents don't give their child the time to express their feelings and thoughts at home, becuase home life gets too busy. Tv, computer, work, other siblings are there to distract them from taking a few moments a day to sit and talk with their little ones...
The other situation that you were talking about, I would be impressed that they can rememer something from so long ago and I would encourage to further the conversation about it. Talk about what she would do if she had a reindeer, what would you name it, where would it live, and so on.
Sometimes parents don't give their child the time to express their feelings and thoughts at home, becuase home life gets too busy. Tv, computer, work, other siblings are there to distract them from taking a few moments a day to sit and talk with their little ones...
QualiTcare 10:15 AM 03-08-2011
lol - that's annoying.
maybe like someone else mentioned - she doesn't understand what "gone" means. the concept of object permanence should be developed by 3 years old, but who knows.
that still wouldn't explain why she repeats "i'm done" over and over.
bless your heart.
maybe like someone else mentioned - she doesn't understand what "gone" means. the concept of object permanence should be developed by 3 years old, but who knows.
that still wouldn't explain why she repeats "i'm done" over and over.
bless your heart.
WImom 11:40 AM 03-08-2011
Thanks everyone. We've moved on to the snowman now (I had one of those plug in night light things in my bathroom that is a snowman and took it down yesterday). She noticed right away this morning and it seems we've moved on to that....lol.
I just remembered another example today. One time (probably two months ago) I said "sorry, my hands are cold" when I was helping her with her pants. Well she will say that almost every time I help her with her pants now (I don't help her too often so she's remembering that from the first time). She just gets fixated on one phrase or word or something. I think I'll just ignore or if it's something I can start a conversation with her on it I will. Today at lunch when she asked for more pineapple when I had just said to everyone that the pineapple is gone, I told her I'll tell her one last time but then I wasn't going to answer her anymore. 'The pineapple is all gone".
She is an only child so maybe it is for attention or just that she likes to talk.
She is pretty good with learning except she doesn't listen to directions sometimes when we are doing an activity and then is lost.
She is very good at small motor stuff (Shes my first one done getting ready for outside - can do it all (shoes, boots, mittens, etc) and can almost zip her jacket)
I just remembered another example today. One time (probably two months ago) I said "sorry, my hands are cold" when I was helping her with her pants. Well she will say that almost every time I help her with her pants now (I don't help her too often so she's remembering that from the first time). She just gets fixated on one phrase or word or something. I think I'll just ignore or if it's something I can start a conversation with her on it I will. Today at lunch when she asked for more pineapple when I had just said to everyone that the pineapple is gone, I told her I'll tell her one last time but then I wasn't going to answer her anymore. 'The pineapple is all gone".
She is an only child so maybe it is for attention or just that she likes to talk.
She is pretty good with learning except she doesn't listen to directions sometimes when we are doing an activity and then is lost.
She is very good at small motor stuff (Shes my first one done getting ready for outside - can do it all (shoes, boots, mittens, etc) and can almost zip her jacket)
nannyde 01:03 PM 03-08-2011
It sounds like she's doing engagment to you. It's a pretty easy fix.
I've seen this before in kids who are so busy putting out that they don't take in. The best technique to get it to stop is to follow her term of engagement with a prompt.
She says "where's the reindeer" for the two hundredth time you say:
"you wash hands"
She repeats
you say "wash hands"
she repeats
you say "hands"
The way to do the prompt is to start with a small three word sentence and then size it down with every repeat.
When you get to the last prompt "hands" you say the word sharply with a fix on the constanants like "hanzzzzzzzz"
She needs the three de-esculating sentences to reroute her brain onto the next thing.
She says "I'm done"
You say "wait a minute"
She says "I'm done"
you say "a minute"
she says "I'm done"
you say "minute" MIN... UTTTTTT
Like that
Only give her three prompts and then move on.
As time goes on use the same voice and do two prompts
Then one....
I've seen this before in kids who are so busy putting out that they don't take in. The best technique to get it to stop is to follow her term of engagement with a prompt.
She says "where's the reindeer" for the two hundredth time you say:
"you wash hands"
She repeats
you say "wash hands"
she repeats
you say "hands"
The way to do the prompt is to start with a small three word sentence and then size it down with every repeat.
When you get to the last prompt "hands" you say the word sharply with a fix on the constanants like "hanzzzzzzzz"
She needs the three de-esculating sentences to reroute her brain onto the next thing.
She says "I'm done"
You say "wait a minute"
She says "I'm done"
you say "a minute"
she says "I'm done"
you say "minute" MIN... UTTTTTT
Like that
Only give her three prompts and then move on.
As time goes on use the same voice and do two prompts
Then one....
e.j. 05:38 PM 03-08-2011
http://littlechildren.wordpress.com/.../08/echolalia/
http://teachmetotalk.com/2008/06/01/...what-it-means/
These links explain echolalia; I thought it might help explain what's happening with this little girl.
http://teachmetotalk.com/2008/06/01/...what-it-means/
These links explain echolalia; I thought it might help explain what's happening with this little girl.
Hunni Bee 06:00 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
It sounds like she's doing engagment to you. It's a pretty easy fix.
I've seen this before in kids who are so busy putting out that they don't take in. The best technique to get it to stop is to follow her term of engagement with a prompt.
Does that work with THE STORIES too? It sounds like she's doing engagment to you. It's a pretty easy fix.
I've seen this before in kids who are so busy putting out that they don't take in. The best technique to get it to stop is to follow her term of engagement with a prompt.
Everybody knows what THE STORIES are...the stories that start "Ms. _____, I have that at my house and we........." and go on for 5-10 minutes? I get that at Story Time mostly, we get to a page and it sparks a STORY in everyone AT THE SAME TIME. A lot of times, I just close the book and let them talk
...but if I say, okay, one more story and let's go back to the book, it seems they cannot hear me or stop talking...?
Unregistered 06:15 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by e.j.:
http://littlechildren.wordpress.com/.../08/echolalia/
http://teachmetotalk.com/2008/06/01/...what-it-means/
These links explain echolalia; I thought it might help explain what's happening with this little girl.
It sounds a lot like echolalia to me too. How is her overall language otherwise? Does she have a lot of spontaneous language? Does she understand language?http://littlechildren.wordpress.com/.../08/echolalia/
http://teachmetotalk.com/2008/06/01/...what-it-means/
These links explain echolalia; I thought it might help explain what's happening with this little girl.
QualiTcare 06:59 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It sounds a lot like echolalia to me too. How is her overall language otherwise? Does she have a lot of spontaneous language? Does she understand language?
i thought for a brief moment this might be what it is, but after the OP said she's pretty much on-track developmentally otherwise - i dismissed it.It sounds a lot like echolalia to me too. How is her overall language otherwise? Does she have a lot of spontaneous language? Does she understand language?
i did click on the link provided by a previous poster, and this is what it says:
"Addendum: don’t confuse echolalia with your toddler’s initiating conversation by asking a well-known question. Echolalia is responding to your question with the same question. Toddlers love to get your attention by asking you a question you would normally ask, like “What’s this?” or “What color?” This is not echolalia. It is simply their way of engaging you, as in, “Hey Mommy, I want to talk to you.”
she's asking questions that she knows the answer to. the provider isn't saying, "where's the reindeer?"
i think ALL toddlers repeat things to some extent. example:
Riley: "Where Daddy? Where Daddy? Where Daddy go, Mommy? Mommy? Where Daddy go?"
Me: "He's in the shower right now, sweetie."
Riley: "Daddy takea shower? Daddy inna shower?"
Me: "Yes, he's in the shower."
Riley: "Daddy get all clean? All clean, Mommy? Daddy get all clean, Mommy?"
Me: "Yes, Daddy's getting all clean."
Riley: "All clean, Mommy? Daddy get all clean? Daddy get all clean, Mommy?"
Me: "YES. I mean, yes."
Riley: "Mommy?"
Me: "Yes?"
Riley: "Mommy? Mommy?"
Me: "OHMIGOD -- er, yes, sweetie?"
Riley: "Daddy get all clean, Mommy."
Me: "Yep! Hey, what's that on the floor?" *runs away*
Does your kid do this too? Hmm? Does your kid do this too?
but 3 years old is a bit old for this behavior. i hate to jump to assumptions like echolalia (which is usually an assumption of autism) when it may just be, without other signs being present, that the kid needs attention.
SilverSabre25 07:08 PM 03-08-2011
I ditto QualiT that it doesn't really sound like echolalia. Some toddlers/ preschoolers like to ask questions they already know the answer to, because it reassures them to hear that the answer is the same time and time again. It's similar to testing a limit/boundary JUST to experience the sense of comfort that comes from finding out that yes, the rules are still the same today/this hour/for the thirteenth time this minute.
My very bright 3 yo does this a lot...and some of her topics go WAY back. She seems to have a very good, very sharp memory and we go over and over things. Sometimes, she is just remembering that an object was around or that something happened, and wants to talk about it. I often deal with it by answering the initial question ("I put the reindeer away with the Christmas stuff") and then ask her something else about the subject--("Christmas time sure was fun. What else do you remember?") or I will say something like, "I don't know...where do you think the reindeer is?" or "I've already told you that today; do you remember what I told you?"
Something like bugging you about being done when you already responded earns my DD a sharp reminder that I'll get there when I get there and not a moment before...and don't you say it again!
And if you don't feel like discussing the reindeer (or whatever) for the 15th time that day (or 3rd, or even 1st) there's nothing wrong with telling her that "We're not talking about that right now--go play toys" or whatever. You're not being mean, you're saving your sanity!
My very bright 3 yo does this a lot...and some of her topics go WAY back. She seems to have a very good, very sharp memory and we go over and over things. Sometimes, she is just remembering that an object was around or that something happened, and wants to talk about it. I often deal with it by answering the initial question ("I put the reindeer away with the Christmas stuff") and then ask her something else about the subject--("Christmas time sure was fun. What else do you remember?") or I will say something like, "I don't know...where do you think the reindeer is?" or "I've already told you that today; do you remember what I told you?"
Something like bugging you about being done when you already responded earns my DD a sharp reminder that I'll get there when I get there and not a moment before...and don't you say it again!
And if you don't feel like discussing the reindeer (or whatever) for the 15th time that day (or 3rd, or even 1st) there's nothing wrong with telling her that "We're not talking about that right now--go play toys" or whatever. You're not being mean, you're saving your sanity!
Unregistered 07:25 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
She is pretty good with learning except she doesn't listen to directions sometimes when we are doing an activity and then is lost.
Maybe she isn't understanding? It sound like echolalia to me.... she is going to be 3 next month... her repeating days should be behind her. The only children I've ever had at this age that were still echoing have been language or developmentally delayed children. I just think it is something more, especially how you said she gets fixated with things... like the christmas stuff.... this isn't typical.She is pretty good with learning except she doesn't listen to directions sometimes when we are doing an activity and then is lost.
Autismworld 06:02 AM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Maybe she isn't understanding? It sound like echolalia to me.... she is going to be 3 next month... her repeating days should be behind her. The only children I've ever had at this age that were still echoing have been language or developmentally delayed children. I just think it is something more, especially how you said she gets fixated with things... like the christmas stuff.... this isn't typical.
Sounds like echolalia to me too and I agree, at 3 she should be beyond this. How is her spontaneous language? How is she socially? Is her play typical? Imaginative?Maybe she isn't understanding? It sound like echolalia to me.... she is going to be 3 next month... her repeating days should be behind her. The only children I've ever had at this age that were still echoing have been language or developmentally delayed children. I just think it is something more, especially how you said she gets fixated with things... like the christmas stuff.... this isn't typical.