I am having a problem at drop off with my almost 3.5 year old twins. Occasionally at drop off, they throw fits and act like my house is the worst place in the world....only in front of their parents. Yesterday, the little girl threw a temper tantrum, so the mom came in, took off her shoes, sat down, and talked to them and gave them attention. Which led to today's behavior...

Today, since they obviously learned that when they throw epic fits they get their parents to do what they want, they both ran around my front yard screaming at the top of their lungs, crying, yelling that they dont want to come to my house, etc etc. Todays fit lasted longer than yesterdays. The dad finally wrangled them in, where they continued to cause epic tantrums, resulting in a very long drop off again. All of the other kids just stood there and stared at them, and I finally had to send them to play in an adjoining room because I dont want the other children exposed to that type of behavior. When the dad finally left, they took off their shoes, and happily started playing with their friends like nothing was wrong at all.

The issue is that I have had these kids for almost 2 years, and they are way old enough to know better. I have a very good program that involves arts and crafts, outdoor play, etc. I read to these kids everyday, sing them songs, play with them, hug them, talk to them, etc. It is a kick in the teeth to me when they act that way at drop off, and look at me like I am the Wicked Witch of the West. Aside from the fact that it is just embarassing to have two kids running outside of your home screaming.

I dont know what to do. I refuse to allow that type of behavior in my home, but I do not know what to say to the parents. When I step in to help at drop off, they scream and run from me and back to their parents, who stick around and try to talk to them until they calm down, so I feel like anything i would do would be undone right there. The kids are totally manipulating them. I sent the parents a pic of the kids a minute after drop off, and they were playing and having a blast. When I asked them why they cried this morning they literally started smiling.

I am sick of feeling like I have to defend myself and prove to the parents that the kids are totally happy and fine while here. When a kid comes to your house screaming that they dont want to be here, it makes you feel really bad.

What should I say to the parents today? After 2 years, it is getting really old. The temptation to term is really creeping up, especially since these two are generally the ones who I constantly have to watch like a hawk (wrestling others, pushing, not sharing, etc), and are the two that have a 3.5 month unpaid break in the winter months (some of my first clients and I made a mistake and agreed to that arrangement). I am missing out on $120.00 per week by keeping them, if I were to take two different kids at full price year round. I kept them because I have had them for so long and I care about them, and I made an arrangement and wanted to keep what I had originally agreed to.

Suggestions? What should I say to the parents? What would you do?

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